by Mischalova at . Comments

Once you get past the fact that Lindsay Lohan's ex-bodyguard shares the same name as a deceased CTU agent that worked with Jack Bauer, the information he recently came out with is rather stunning.

But Tony Almeida sounds serious in an interview with In Touch.

Lindsay Lohan, Glasses

He worked for Lindsay Lohan from 2002 to 2005 and says the teen queen suffered from neglectful, abusive parents who saw her as a cash cow. This is a shocking revelation about Dina Lohan, isn't it?

According to celebrity gossip source TMZ, Almeida recounts a particularly nasty scene between Lindsay and dad Michael.

When the singer was 16, her jail bait father freaked out while driving, "slammed on the brakes and dragged her out of the car, pushed her up against the hood, screamed at her and called her a slut. This was on the Long Island Expressway! I got in the middle of it and pulled him off."

This is not a Lindsay Lohan nude photo. But it's sort of close to it.

From there, the bodyguard talks about mother issues that give Lindsay and Britney Spears a lot in common.

Dina would reportedly often let her daughter booze it up while hanging out with boys unsupervised. When she was 15 her mother allowed her to spend the night in a hotel room with then-boyfriend Aaron Carter.

"They knew Lindsay was sleeping in Aaron's room. But they seemed happy she had chosen somebody who could benefit her singing career."

Guess that means they weren't huge fans of Harry Morton or Calum Best, huh?

by Mischalova at . Comments

This is great stuff.

In an interview with Elle magazine a mere three days before she was pulled over for drunk driving, Lindsay Lohan lamented to idea of getting behind the wheel while intoxicated - and begged to be given credit for her impressive acting job in The Parent Trap...

Linds the Shop-a-Holic

On attending rehab at Wonderland before her 21st birthday:
"I was growing up and going out a lot, and I needed to have a balance. I was glad I went, because I needed to get away from everyone and I didn't know how to do that. And I learned a lot there. A bunch of my friends â€" I was with them last night â€" they're in AA for, like, years."

On former fling Calum Best:
"I like him. He's me in male form. We're very similar. Stubborn, rebellious, very smart, coy, a little bit narcissistic â€" I think all actors have a little bit of that, and so they should. We'll be kidding around, like the other day when we were in the Bahamas … I was walking by some mirror. And he caught me looking in the mirror and he goes, ‘I caught that!' I was like, ‘Damn, I look good!'

On the celebrity gossip firestorm surrounding her:
"I feel like the asshole, the idiot, because I feel like I'm distracting from the other things that are important, like global warming and that kind of stuff. I genuinely mean that. And I don't know what to do."

On avoiding fame:
"I hate it, like, when these people say, ‘Well, why do you go to the Ivy if you don't want …' Seriously, I like their food! I can't go to a restaurant? I know I'm going to get pictures taken. I'm fine with it. And I'm going to go have their food. People give you s-it for it: ‘Don't go on Robertson!' What, I can't drive down the street?"

On being photographed without underwear:
"It was once, and it was when I was in Venice. And I was rushing through the room, threw the Prada dress on. And that's what happened. And I didn't even see the picture. I don't look at that s-it â€" that's gross. If I wear a dress I have underwear on."

*The Hollywood Gossip note: At least she admits that a Lindsay Lohan nude photo is gross.

On sleep troubles:
"I have really bad insomnia. My whole life. I get nervous at night going to bed, and being awake alone really freaks me out."

On her career aspirations:
"I just want to be nominated for an award for all the work I've done. It's so funny â€" people forget that I played two characters in Parent Trap when I was twelve years old."

* The Hollywood Gossip note: Seriously. Is it too late to hand Lohan an Academy Award for this performance?!? Maybe Paulina James can at least get credit for her portrayal of Lindsay.

On the media:
"If I'm wearing a nude thong, they retouch it. I fâ€"k around on my computer â€" I know how easy it is. They make my face look swollen. I'm like, ‘Are you that bored?' I hear things about the night before that never even happened. Like, they said I was dating my best friend â€" the Samantha Ronson thing. She's my best friend!"

by Mischalova at . Comments

Rumors about Lindsay Lohan nude photos are floating around the Internet.

Until they surface, however, we may need to settle for the following: The adult film geniuses that brought fans Britney Rears and J-Ho are coming out with a new movie in October. Its title? Lindsay HoHand.

Nice n' Plump

Officially called Lindsay HoHand: Get Out of My F**king Way, TMZ reports that this flick features a "pop princess" who "can't seem to stop getting in trouble" and who all of Hollywood regards as "a fun date."

The fictional Lohan will be played by porn star Paulina James, pictured below. Supposedly, she'll also enjoy a certain penchant for delivering hands-on assistance to the numerous cops that detain her. Calum Best and Harry Morton know what we're talking about!

In a new movie, Paulina James will base her role on Lindsay Lohan naked.

A source at SexZ Pictures admits that "a lot could happen" between now and the time Lohan faces her legal music; and that if she does indeed end up in the slammer, a long and lucrative series of HoHand films could be born.

They may earn more money than any movie not starring Jennifer Toof.

by Mischalova at . Comments

It's difficult - and scarier than a photo of Dita Von Teese naked - to get into the mind of Lindsay Lohan. But here's what our celebrity gossip staff assumes she's thinking:

I'm already going to jail for being an irresponsible drunk. Why not break every law I come across on the way?

At least this line of reasoning would provide the Firecrotch Queen with a semblance of rationale after Louis Vuitton reps claim the mediocre actress made off with bags of their stuff. Yup, she went all Winona Ryder during a recent photo shoot, reportedly.

After Lohan completed an Elle cover shoot, sources say she "kept shoving the clothes into her bag, and a stylist's assistant kept getting them out of the bag, only to have Lindsay keep trying to take them… Lindsay walked out with them and never returned calls."

It really was just a matter of time before the skank that stole the heart of Calum Best and countless other men did the same to a line of clothing.

Of course, when Dina Lohan is your mother, you haven't exactly been raised to follow any rules.

Is it also the fault of celebrity news reporters that you're a lying thief, Dina Lohan?

As her daughter deals with the aforementioned accusations, the mother that makes Asia Nitollano look like a role model is being sued for fraud in Las Vegas by businessman Antonio Almeida. He claims she failed to return $400,000 he lent her four years ago to kick-start Lindsay's music career.

The New York Post says Almeida's lawyer, A. Raymond Hamrick, claims some of the dough was used to record songs with Gloria Estefan's husband, Emilio Estefan, who formed Miami Sound Machine. But Lindsay bolted in the middle of the sessions when she got a deal with Casablanca Records.

"My clients were out their money," Hamrick said.

We wouldn't put anything past Dina Lohan. We just hope someone rescues Ali Lohan from this mess of a family before it's too late.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Even Lindsay Lohan has to be shocked at this one.

Sure, she's embarrassed herself beyond comprehension and proven to be a brat who doesn't take any responsibilities for her actions. But she could at least, like, look good in her mug shot, right? Is that too much for a 21-year-old star to ask?

Derek Lowe Mug Shot

And, as if this crummy photo, a crumbling personal life and her recent string of arrests weren't enough, Lindsay Lohan's week has gotten even worse.

Lohan is apparently being sued by some woman who claims that Lindsay and a bodyguard hit her car a few months ago, then gave her a fake name and number. TMZ reports:

"Signe Dupuy claims that in April 2007 Lindsay Lohan and her main man, Jaz, cut her off in their SUV while she was driving on Fairfax Ave. in L.A. Dupuy says when she got out of the car, Lindsay stopped and glared at her, while Jaz was 'hostile' and 'tried to intimidate' her. She says they gave her a fake name and number and drove away. Signe tells us this is her last resort, as she has tried to contact Lindsay Lohan several times, even sending her rep a letter. Lindsay's rep said she did get the letter but "filed it away," adding "I assumed the letter was sent to [Lindsay's] lawyers. That's what they're paid for."

Wow. Lindsay's lawyers are going to be making some serious coin this year, that's for damn sure. All that reckless drunk driving means big fees! Note to LiLo: The whole fake name thing works better when you're not a famous movie star.

Also, who the frick is this Jaz?

In any case, the only thing getting crappier reviews than Lindsay Lohan's rowdy, sometimes naked antics of late is her new movie, I Know Who Killed Me, which debuted in 9th place at the box office, bringing in a paltry $3.4 million. Let's see what some of the critics say:

Associated Press:
It makes you wonder what Lindsay Lohan was thinking when she said yes to this project... Want to know who killed her? She's doing it to herself!

THG NOTE: Dina Lohan is helping!

New York Daily News:
Truth is, no review could really do justice to the monumental trashiness of this mess; it really has to be seen to be believed.

Continue Reading...

by Mischalova at . Comments

It may not be the most reliable celebrity gossip source on the planet, but The National Enquirer is still good for the occasional nugget or two.

And here's a juicy one:

Lindsay on the Roof

Sources are saying that a nude Lindsay Lohan would saunter around Promises rehab facility, taunting guys and, well, just being naked. The insider said our favorite drunk driver recently regaled this tale to pals:

"Lindsay was howling with laughter as she told all her friends, including Bruce Willis' daughter Rumer. They were all giggling too and their eyes were popping out."

Wow. We're not surprised that Lindsay got naked a lot... but she's still friends with Rumer Willis? We'd love to hear any of those conversations.

Does this mean Hayden Panettiere will soon be a Lohan acquaintance as well? Her and Rumer are rather tight, after all.

Lindsay Lohan is partially clothed here. But rumor (and Rumer) has it that she got as naked as Jennifer Toof in rehab recently.

"Lindsay said, 'I drove them all mad wandering around completely naked. They kept telling me to quit, but it was so much fun to tease all those boys. I just couldn't stop it," the celebrity news source said.

Nor could she stop driving drunk and recklessly, of course.

But is anyone shocked? Lindsay Lohan naked and toying with guys? That's a yawner, especially when compared to Heidi Klum nude photos.

by Mischalova at . Comments

I can't get in trouble. I'm a celebrity. I can do whatever the f**k I want.
- Lindsay Lohan

That quote pretty much sums up the breaking celebrity news regarding Lindsay Lohan's drunken, dangerous antics over the weekend.

Derek Lowe Mug Shot

But, thanks to TMZ, we can actually take you through the step-by-step account of what took place late Sunday night. The three men who were in the car with Dina Lohan's spoiled alcoholic of a daughter recounted the tale. Sit back and prepare for the shocking details...

Part One
TMZ interviewed all three men who were in the car with the Firecrotch Queen that night and here's the lowdown: Rewind to Monday afternoon. Dante Nigro, Jakon Sutter and Ronnie Blake drove to Malibu with the boyfriend of Lindsay Lohan's assistant. Lindsay and her assistant ran into Dante and friends.

Later, the assistant text-messaged Dante, saying Lindsay wanted to invite him to a Malibu party that night.

Later, Dante says, he and his friends drove to the party. Dante and the assistant's boyfriend were let in, but Jakon and Ronnie were rejected and stayed outside. Dante says Lindsay was never without a drink during the evening and he even did a shot with her.

These guys were reportedly in the car with Lindsay Lohan when she made worse driving decisions than Nicole Richie over the past weekend.

At one point, Lindsay's assistant and her boyfriend walked outside and got into an argument. Lindsay came out and got angry at her assistant. The assistant then said, "I quit," which enraged Lindsay.

Part Two
Ronnie says Lindsay looked "very messed up" and "raging." (sort of like Britney Spears, all the time, we'd imagine.)

Dante and crew were ready to leave. The GMC Denali they were in belonged to Dante, but he was sitting in the front passenger seat. Ronnie and Jakon were in the back seat. The assistant's boyfriend was behind the wheel. The keys were in the ignition when the assistant's boyfriend got out and continued the argument with his girlfriend. She then got in her car and left.

According to the group, Lindsay suddenly jumped in the driver's seat of the Denali, started the engine and began driving - chasing the assistant's car. Ronnie says he was so fearful, he jumped out of the vehicle as it accelerated. Just as he hit the ground, he says Lindsay ran over his foot and just kept going.

Dante and Jakon say Lindsay then hit Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu. Dante says he tried to grab the wheel, prompting Lindsay to say, "If you touch me I'll sue you." Jakon says they pleaded with her to stop.

Part Three
Dante says they were going 100 MPH. They say Lindsay caught up with the assistant and began doing circles on PCH, around the assistant's car.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments
Jessica Smith Mug ShotThey're all coming out of the woodwork now.

In an exclusive interview, former Laguna Beach "star" Jessica Smith â€" who pled guilty on misdemeanor DUI charges in early July, has enlightened us with some sound advice for a fellow drunk driving maniac, Lindsay Lohan.

"I think she needs real help, and not Promises-type of help with the massages and everything," the Laguna Beach grad told 24Sizzler.com Wednesday. "She needs to go to a real place to address her problem. The bottom line is she needs help. She keeps messing up."

We have no idea why the ex of Jason Wahler is commenting on this other than to get attention, but Smith says Lindsay shouldn't get off easy because of her star status:

"I think she deserves whatever she gets. If she gets off just because she's Lindsay Lohan, that's ridiculous. If someone slaps her on the wrist, and is like, ‘oh, you bad girl,' she'll never learn."

Jessica Smith was charged last March after a car she was driving slammed into another car, reportedly causing "great bodily injury" to people in both cars.

She was sentenced to three years probation and ordered to attend one MADD meeting and serve 80 hours of community service, and she says she's at peace with it.

"I drank and drove. There's no excuse for that. I think anything that I got, and had I said it was unfair, it would be ridiculous, because I did something wrong," Smith notes.

She was quick to draw a line between herself and Lindsay Lohan, however.

"My situation is different [from Lindsay's], because it's not like it was my third time. She's just out of rehab and she has an ankle bracelet. I think that's odd. I got 80 hours of community service and I didn't have anything on my record."

So does Lindsay Lohan deserve jail time?

"I would say sure, but jail is scary," Jessica Smith says. "Some people just don't belong in jail. You go crazy in jail. I thought it was unfair that Paris Hilton went to jail."

The 19-year-old, most famous for hooking up with Wahler (cheating on Lauren Conrad at the time) and for sticking around Laguna Beach far too long, says she feels for Lindsay.

"It was horrible. I can't imagine what she's going through. It was embarrassing for me, it must have been like 150 times worse for her... She should just ignore what people say."

Alright, then.

Jessica Smith says she's changed because of her DUI bust, stating "I barely drink anymore, because if anything was to happen when I was drunk, I would go to jail for 90 days... I learned my lesson... one way to show I've learned my lesson, is to show I've changed."

by Free Britney at . Comments

Thanks, as always, to People magazine for this great collection of celebrity quotes from the past week.

"Of course, there are things anybody wishes they didn't have or wishes [there] were more of, but why even bring that up? I think it comes off as bratty."
- Eva Mendes, on being satisfied with her nice naked physique, to Jane

Lindsay Lohan Maxim Cover

"I am innocent."
- Lindsay Lohan

"Oh Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay! Ohhhhh, Lindsay! And that's my final word on the subject."
- Late-night talk-show host Craig Ferguson (who probably didn't mean that quote in the same way Calum Best once did)

"Don't put it on YouTube."
- Beyoncé, after slipping onstage during a concert performance. Despite her plea, the accident was posted on the Web site multiple times hours later

"F.A.T. means fabulous and thick, full and tasty, fluffy and tender."
- Mo'Nique

"I've actually gained 10 pounds back, which I think I needed. I kind of looked sick, I got down to 180. Now at 190, my clothes fit again. My underwear was big on me, okay?"
- Ian Ziering, on gaining back weight after Dancing with the Stars

"I bring the fear. Does big oil sleep around? Got bad credit? I'll find the dirt. And I will make big oil regret the day it ever uttered the words 'price gouging!'"
- Ben Affleck, in the environmental video Clean My Ride, Flex My Fuel

"I feel like I'm being punk'd."
- Affleck BFF Matt Damon, spoofing himself in an installment of the same campaign

by Mischalova at . Comments

Hey, did you hear that Lindsay Lohan was in a drunk driving accident this weekend?

We mean that literally: Did you actually hear it? As in, the 911 tape released by authorities yesterday.

Wreckaliciousness

The call, released by the Santa Monica City Attorney's office, was presumed to be made by Michelle Peck, the mother of one of Lohan's assistants, who had picked up her daughter from a gathering that Lohan also attended.

The caller seemed frantic and claimed she was being chased by an SUV. Below is a portion of the transcript. (Listen to the call here, at a different celebrity gossip blog, TMZ.)

911: Santa Monica Police, what's the emergency?
Caller: Yes sir, I'm on Montana. Is he behind you? Is he behind you?

911: Where are you?
Caller: Right now we're on 7th and Wilshire. We were just about to park our car, we were turning home, and out of nowhere, a huge white GMC came up and... We're at 4th and Wilshire, we're coming down right now, we're being followed by a white GMC, the gentleman jumped out of the car, and OH MY GOD SIR, THEY'RE FOLLOWING US. WE NEED HELP.

Lindsay Lohan has broken more laws than Mindy McCready.

911: Where are you?
Caller: Right now we're on Arizona... Oh my God, are they following us? OK, right now we're on Santa Monica... We're driving to the police station right now... We're at 4th and Broadway. We were just coming home... and all of a sudden he came down a side street... We're driving to the police station... sir, please? The gentleman came out of his car. [inaudible] AAAAHHH, Oh my God! What is he doing? Oh my God, oh my God... Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! (Screaming...police sirens in background).

As People magazine reports in its latest cover story, the 911 call came in after an argument between Lohan and her assistant Tarin Graham, Peck's daughter. Graham then apparently called her mother to pick her up, and Lohan gave chase.

Because no way was anyone leaving her sight! She was all over her assistance like Blake Lewis was all over that random woman at Les Deux.

Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan Photo Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
Born
Birthplace
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan
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