by Mischalova at

Ah, Lindsay Lohan and your slutty ways.

How The Hollywood Gossip has missed you.

Linds in Court

Following the shortest stint in rehab history, Lindsay is back in the news by being back on the cover of a magazine.

And her giant boobs have joined her inside the pages of GQ.

The feature story follows an interview in which Dina Lohan claims that her family is normal. Which is true. As long as normal is code for "skanked out and desperate for attention."

Don't believe us? Just ask Lindsay herself.

In the article, the Firecrotch Queen says she misses Harry Morton.

Sort of:

"I need a boyfriend... There are three different boys I like, maybe five," Lohan said, as five random guys walked past her on a sidewalk.

Guess this means the fling with Brody Jenner didn't last long.

The picture attached to this post also obviously means Lindsay is done with booze. After all, that's a can of Red Bull in her hand. It's proof the rehab worked. So you have nothing at all to worry about, Jesse Metcalfe.

Tags:

by Free Britney at

And this time, it's not because of any nude pics.

Rather, it's became Britney Spears, her short-lived BFF Paris Hilton and many others have been hitting the crack pipe pretty hard these days.

Lindsay Lohan Plastic Surgery?

Okay, so they're probably not on crack. Well, Pete Doherty is, but not the lovely ladies listed above. We think. Nonetheless, drug and alcohol abuse have become so commonplace among celebrities that it's almost become publicly accepted.

Just look at Tara Conner or Lindsay Lohan, a couple of cuties who have partied their brains out and weren't even of legal age to drink.

Not to mention all the drugs Lohan takes. Chick is seriously strung out.

An Us Weekly source recalls a wild, crazy New Year's party in Miami, Florida, frequented by more than a few notable celebrities:

"There were lines of coke on the table, weed everywhere. It was insane. It was a very free atmosphere. Coke is so not a big deal for young stars in Hollywood. It's like having a drink."

In short, drug arrests and problems aren't just for Snoop Dogg anymore.

Remember when a trip to rehab used to be a career-threatening PR nightmare? Well, nowadays, celebrities openly disclose their drug use in interviews - and not just the more notable party animals we've already discussed.

Fergie has been candid about her former crystal meth addiction, while John Mayer actually gave Rolling Stone an interview while puffing on a marijuana vaporizer. Justin Timberlake has also been up front about dabbling in many illegal substances.

Who will be the next star busted for drugs (and we're not talking about hGH, Sly Stallone)? What does this suggest about our infatuation with celebrities and their sub-culture? We have no clue. But we can promise you this, Gossip readers:

We will be here, at this address, reporting it ever step of the way.

Tags: , ,

by Mischalova at

As if the influence of that drunken mother, Dina Lohan, wasn't bad enough.

Now Lindsay Lohan will have to deal with the insane ramblings of her jail bird father, Michael, as well. He'll be released from prison later today.

Lindsay Lohan WASTED Again!

While incarcerated, Lindsay's pop penned his daughter advice letters that suggested putting God before the dozens of men she took home every night. It wasn't the worst recommendation in the world, really.

It sure was better than, say, the sage wisdom of Sophie Anderton videotaping various sexual acts for all to see years later.

Anyway, The Hollywood Gossip believes that Lindsay is a lost cause. So we don't really care what you do or say to her, Michael. But try to remember that Ali Lohan is still young and impressionable.

Don't turn her into the next Britney Spears please.

Tags:

by Mischalova at

Move over, Jessica Simpson. You've got competition for worst celebrity hair dye job.

And it's from none other than Lindsay Lohan. We don't know if the Firecrotch was drunk again when she plopped into the salon, but fans of hers (both of you) should just be happy Lindsay didn't go all Britney Spears on her skull.

Got a Crack Pipe Handy?

Meanwhile, we'd ask if this new look affects Brody Jenner's desire to tang that piece - but do you think he even notices anything above her chest?

Tags:

by Free Britney at

He's rich, dates hot chicks and spends most of his time on the L.A. club scene. And for no known reason other than his name and good looks.

It's the American Dream personified. Ladies, you could date this man next. But for now, here's Details Magazine's inside look at some notable female companions of the great Brody Jenner.

Rock Bottom?

Slideshow and text credits: Details (follow link to the magazine's original story).

KRISTIN CAVALLARI

Her Claim to Fame: Best known as "the bitchy one" on MTV's Laguna Beach, Cavallari, 20, was also linked to then-USC star Matt Leinart in 2004 and Nick Lachey in 2006.
How They Hooked Up: Jenner and Cavallari coupled up after crossing paths at a party for Stuff magazine.
Staying Power: Kristin and Brody were together from September 2005 until August 2006 - an eternity for the Prince of Malibu. Presumably, in their time together, Jenner saw a lot of this.
The Drama: Post-breakup, Kristin Cavallari stepped out in a T-shirt reading YOU CAN HAVE HIM, presumably aimed at Nicole Richie (see below). Jenner, in his typical laid-back style, responded in People: "I'm guessing she's talking about her dog, which she left at my house months ago."

LINDSAY LOHAN

Her Claim to Fame: Hard partying and a list of trysts nearly as long as her filmography. Past boy toys include Wilmer Valderrama, Colin Farrell, Joaquin Phoenix, Jude Law, Jared Leto, and Brett Ratner.
How They Hooked Up: The two were introduced by Lohan's hairstylist (whom Jenner knew from L.A.) while out at New York's Bungalow 8.
Staying Power: One magical night. Recently, Brody and Lohan left a New York club together. He was spotted exiting Lohan's hotel the next morning.
The Drama: Jenner and Lindsay Lohan both denied sleeping together, but that doesn't mean Jenner didn't relish the speculation, telling People, "I had a great time in New York. Lindsay's a sweet girl."

NICOLE RICHIE

Her Claim to Fame: Nicole, who is Lionel Richie's adopted daughter, is also Paris Hilton's on-again-off-again BFF.
How They Hooked Up
: Jenner and Nicole Richie met as kids â€" Lionel Richie and Brody's mom, actress-songwriter Linda Thompson, go way back. They only started "dating" after Richie called off her engagement to DJ AM, and depending on what you read, Brody and his friend hatched a plan where he would increase his own celebrity by making her eat.
Staying Power: Bichie lasted three months, starting in August 2006.
The Drama: Their relationship ended amid questions. Richie wrote on her MySpace page: "I know there are rumors regarding my ‘breakup' with Brody Jenner. The truth is, we were never really together. We hung out, and he's a nice guy, but my heart was never in it. Anything further is just a cry for publicity."

LAUREN CONRAD

Her Claim to Fame: Conrad (known to many as LC) was, like, Cavallari's nemesis on Laguna Beach and currently stars on its hit spin-off, The Hills, in which she interns at Teen Vogue.
How They Hooked Up: Check out season 2 of The Hills and watch the drama unfold... live! Well, sort of. Jenner and Conrad were set up by their respective best friends â€" Jenner's quote-unquote publicist, Spencer Pratt, and Conrad's bubbly Hills co-star, Heidi Montag â€" who are now dating (and making everyone around them sick, but that's a subject for another time.
Staying Power: Three weeks, maybe four. Possibly back on.
The Drama: Talk about killing them with kindness. According to Life & Style, during her liaison with Jenner, Lauren Conrad provoked Richie at another L.A. hot spot by being overly friendly. Richie reportedly cried, "LC just keeps saying hi to me over and over again. I can't stand it!"

Tags: , , , ,

by Mischalova at

Tara Conner isn't the only alcoholic on the path to recovery.

This, of course, is coming from the warped mouth of Dina Lohan. So take it for what it is.

Waif Photo

Nevertheless, less than a month after entering rehab, Lindsay Lohan is "doing great," her mother told People magazine.

"She's amazing. She's great and she's happy," Dina said Friday at the Child magazine fall 2007 fashion show in New York City. "She's in a really good space right now."

And there's a good chance Brody Jenner is lying there naked next to her.

In December, Lindsay had revealed that she had been attending Alcoholic Anonymous, and later that month told People, "I feel better not drinking. It's more fun."

Eventually, however, it's safe to assume Lohan will need to find a new way to land in the spotlight. Could she follow the path of Kim Kardashian and release a sex tape?

Is there really any doubt?

Tags: ,

by Free Britney at

So right when you get out of rehab, and you're at that delicate stage where you're "trying" to be "sober," the first person you really want to call is obviously Paris Hilton.

Yes, it's true. Lindsay Lohan's decision-making is at its zenith.

Wreckaliciousness

TMZ spotted the Gruesome Twosome (and two-thirds of last year's famed ho train) leaving Les Deux nightclub in L.A. on Friday, and only one evening later, Lindsay was spotted at the hot new nightclub Area.

Maybe she was just there to grab a quick decaf latte and read a good book. You don't want to jump to conclusions, people - the girl is working hard to turn her life aroung. Oh, who are we kidding. She was on the prowl for a lil' B&B - booze and Brody Jenner.

Way to stay on the wagon, Lindsay. What's next? A newly clean Tara Conner dialing up Katie Rees? Wow, that's a compelling thought. The Gossip sure hopes that takes place.

Tags: ,

by Mischalova at

Rehab may have quenched the alcoholic thirst of Lindsay Lohan - but actress' crotch hunger is as strong as ever.

According to Us Weekly, Lohan has been sending uber-bachelor Brody Jenner sexy text messages for the last couple weeks. It's hard to say how Jenner's ex-girlfriends feel about such a development - perhaps because it's hard to keep track of them.

Perplexed Lindsay

First, there was Kristin Cavallari. Seems like ages ago, before Laguna Beach was part of the national lexicon.

Then, Brody got on Nicole Richie for a bit. But he almost broke her with his body weight and had to end that relationship in a hurry.

Finally, the last rich and famous broad that got Jenner-ed was Lauren Conrad. She's still on The Hills, just not in his heart.

Now, the magazine has somehow received word that one of Lohan's texts to Brody said all she wanted was some "McDonald's and sex."

We hope in the reverse order. One feels pretty sluggish after a Big Mac.

When asked about the exchange, Jenner responded: "Sorry, dude. I don't text and tell."

In other words: Yes, he went all Joe Francis on Linday's crotch of fire.

Tags: ,

by Mischalova at

Well, that whole Firecrotch and promiscuity thing aside.

Speaking strictly about alcohol consumption, we assume, Gwyneth Paltrow came out in defense of our least favorite red head. The Oscar Award-winning actress forecasted the following.

Lindsay on the Mend?

"My prediction is that Lindsay Lohan, she'll figure it out," Paltrow said. "It's really, really hard to be so young and so in the public eye and I think it's very confusing ... It's hard to be that out there and, you know, when everybody's analyzing everything you do, and she's ... very young."

So is Hilary Duff, though. And you don't see her getting all wasted. Usually.

Paltrow also said she felt that Lohan is very talented and will have a successful career.

We can't say we agree with that - but we do support Gwyneth's apparent dig at Dina Lohan.

"My parents would have killed me if I didn't do it behind closed doors," the actress said of any sort of partying or hard drinking.

We'll have to wait and see how Emma Bunton handles her child drinking. At the rate kids go these days, however, Baby Spice may have to lay down the law in just a few years.

It's sad.

Tags: ,

by Mischalova at

Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab is record time. Someone, get that girl a drink to celebrate!

Proving to Tara Conner that only weaklings need a whole 30 days to sober up, Lohan supposedly kicked her drinking problem in less than a week; a source close to the situation says Lohan's latest movie, I Know Who Killed Me, began shooting again on Thursday.

Lindsay Lohan Wearing Stripes

"People were getting a bit antsy about what the status was, so it's pretty thrilling," says the source. "As soon as Lindsay was cleared, they started everything back up again."

We can only imagine how proud Dina Lohan is of her daughter now.

The source added that Lohan was likely to resume a full workload, which a rep for the movie described earlier as 13 to 14 hours a day. She may need a Red Bull and vodka of half a dozen just tp keep up.

In the end, of course, we're glad Lindsay is out. We hope Ali Lohan takes note of how simple it can be to do a lot of drugs and men and then enter rehab for a week to get better.

We also wonder if Britney Spears will follow K-Fed's advice and check herself in next. Apparently, it only takes a few days to be cured, Brit.

Tags: