by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Because Lindsay Lohan hasn't had a penis inside of her for months, we can rule out the possibility that she's pregnant.

But the actress will star in the 2009 comedy, Labor Pains, which is focused on a woman that pretends to be knocked up in order to avoid being fired.

Here's that film's official poster:

As long as she continues to have sex with Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan needn't worry about a real-life pregnancy.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Congratulations, universe. You win.

After reading how Lindsay Lohan is "really happy," in the latest issue of Marie Claire, we find ourselves glad this former loose celebrity has settled down.

She's seemed legitimately stable since she began dating Samantha Ronson, who Lindsay described to the magazine as follows:

"She's a great person. And she's a great influence on people around her. But I think that anything that's changed [in] my life is because of me. I've gone through it, and I've learned to deal with it and I've made the decision to move forward."

It certainly isn't because of your awful mother, Dina Lohan, that much is clear.

Marie Claire Cover Gal

Lindsay Lohan is happy in her relationship with Samantha Ronson. We can't help but wish these two the very best.

by Free Britney at . Comments

It used to be an open invite to magazines and dozens of dudes, but it looks like from now on, only Samantha Ronson will be seeing Lindsay Lohan naked.

The actress, who's become an ardent fan of girl-on-girl action in recent months, has just turned down a $700,000 offer to pose nude in Playboy.

Specifically, Hugh Hefner's enterprise wanted Lindsay Lohan topless for an eight-page spread in Playboy's 55th-anniversary issue this January.

"If there's nudity, the answer's no ... She's not going down that [New York Magazine] road again," the actress' rep said in a statement to Playboy, referring to the strange Lindsay Lohan nude Marilyn Monroe tribute last winter.

Lindsay Lohan Naked

Lindsay Lohan nude used to be a far more frequent, public thing.

Playboy hoped to have Lohan do a tribute to '60s sex kitten Ann-Margret and her film "Kitten With a Whip," which is supposedly one of Lindsay's faves.

Instead, she'll probably just be content starring in a private sex tape involving a SamRo with a whip, some handcuffs and who the hell knows what else.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Leave Bristol Palin alone, Lindsay Lohan says!

Well, sort of.

On her latest MySpace blog, Lohan writes that discussion about Bristol's impending baby with Levi Johnston is distracting people from learning about Sarah Palin; you know, the Republican nominee for Vice President.

Lindsay herself then adds a salient point, however, that connects Bristol's pregnancy with part of her mother's platform.

“I think the real problem comes from the fact that we are taking the focus off of getting to know Sarah Palin and her political views, and what she can do to make our country a less destructive place," Lohan blogged, adding:

"It's distracting from the real issues, the real everyday problems that this country experiences... I get Sarah Palin's views against abortion, but I would much prefer to hear more about what she can do for our country, rather than how her daughter is going to have a child no matter what. Maybe focus on delivering some words and policy with stronger impact like Joe Biden."

Lindsay Lohan asks for less coverage of Bristol Palin and more focus on what's wrong with Governor Palin's views on sex education.

Lohan then went on to stress the importance of sex education, a topic that Palin has stated she believes should revolve solely around abstinence-only teaching. In 2006, the Governor said any "explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support."

"I think that parents need to recognize how important it is to talk to their children about the things that can result from being sexually active if they aren't protecting themselves," Lohan writes.

It's true.

If Palin, as such a staunch supporter of abstinence-only education, cannot teach her own child to refrain from pre-marital sex, might that be a sign that such a platform is ineffective?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Lindsay Lohan has been more secretive about her relationship with Samantha Ronson than John McCain's camp had tried to be about Bristol Palin's pregnancy.

But a recentl blog entry by the actress pretty mcuh reveals her true, strong feelings for the manish looking DJ. Here it is:

Always Playing Victim

Current mood: smitten
so, samantha and i are looking for DIXIE CUPS… does anyone remember them??? They were given in school as a desert. They are half vanilla/half chocolate.. I have to have them before she gets back-so anyone that can help me find them-please please please, post it for me to see!!!!
take care xoxo
this song is for sr… ILY
Currently listening:
Trouble
By Ray LaMontagne
Release date: By 2004-09-14

It's safe to assume that "sr" stands for Samantha Ronson, while "ILY' is code for "I Love You."

We make fun of Lindsay Lohan a lot. A whole, whole lot.

But her relationship with Ronson actually does seem legit, and we're glad to see Lindsay not flaunting it to the press, as she did so many times in the past during flings with Criss Angel, A.J. Lamas and many, many, many, many, many other men.

Sorry, old habit.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Michael Lohan has said he's engaged to Erin Muller, but the arrangement won't be made official until certain family issues are resolved.

If the ex-convict is waiting for daughter Lindsay to forgive him, well, he'll never be officially engaged.

Lindsay Lohan Nip Slip

Here's what Lindsay wrote in her latest MySpace blog:

“If you have something to say to me, say it to my face. That’s what I have believed my whole life. Don’t be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world. I think we know where the rest of this blog is going…

Congratulations, Michael Lohan. You've managed to make us feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan.

“If you guessed it had to do with my father–then you guessed right! It really hurts, because I have tried. After all that my mother and siblings have gone through, I really tried to make things work. For the hope of having a father again-wanting things to change- even though people have said, some people will forever remain the same.

"He has become a public embarrassment and a bully ...He has no idea what is going on in my life because I have chosen not to involve him in it- His recent attack on my life and my loved ones is simply for an ADDICTION THAT HE HAS- FAME.... If he really cared about me and my life, then he would learn to respect my wishes by staying out of it.

“[BFF Samantha Ronson] has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful. This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item. I’m not going to engage any further, though i probably could go on…"

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It takes a lot to impress Lindsay Lohan.

Okay, we're lying. For awhile there, a guy just needed to be able to tie one of his shoelaces correctly before ending up in bed with the mediocre actress.

Lindsay Lohan at Fashion Week

Lohan has calmed down a bit over the last few months, though, as her relationship with Samantha Ronson actually seems to have mellowed Lindsay out. These two seem like a regular, happy couple.

Still, when asked what she thought of Olympic icon Michael Phelps, Lindsay told Access Hollywood via text message: “Tell him he’s f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.”

Look out, Samantha! Between the breast stroke and the butterfly, Phelps could teach your girlfriend things in bed even she doesn't know.

Samantha Ronson won't be smiling after she hears what Lindsay Lohan thinks of Michael Phelps.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

No wonder Samantha Ronson always looks so angry.

Turns out, the DJ wasn't Lindsay Lohan's first lesbian crush.

Wasted Out of Her Mind

According to News of the World, Courtenay Semel - yes, the same Courtenay Semel that is currently dating Tila Tequila - told a friend that she and Lohan had a covert relationship before Lindsay met Samantha.

"Everyone thinks Samantha is Lindsay’s first lesbian love, but we were very passionate until her fear of being found out drove us apart,” Courtenay reportedly told a pal. "At the time she was terrified her career would be over if she revealed her sexual tendencies. But then Samantha came on to the scene and I was dropped.”

Reports - and this photo - say Lindsay Lohan used to make out with Courtenay Semel and then sleep with men in order to suppress her urges to vadge it up.

As for other insights in the juicy, completely reliable story, Lohan allegedly...

  • ... slept with countless men in order to suppress her lesbian urges. Sorry Calum Best, Harry Morton and every pizza delivery guy that knocked on Lindsay's door, she never loved you;
  • ... took drugs to stifle her sexual urges toward women;
  • ... did lines of cocaine in the bathroom with Semel and then fell into bed with her after parties;
  • ... referred to Ronson, before their relationship got physical, as the "father I never had;"
  • ... lived with Courtenay from October 2007 through December 2007, until Semel moved out because Lohan brought too many men home.

Despite these seemingly over-the-top allegations, the rumor about the Lohan family we believe the least is that Ali is only 14.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Lindsay Lohan must read The Hollywood Gossip.

Mere hours after we posed the question of whether or not Ali Lohan has underdone a boob job, her sister published the following blog on her MySpace account:

I was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me. Of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.

I am not judging people that do, but I am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet! It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye…

Everyone, Look!

Ali Lohan breast enhancement rumors aren't a laughing matter to her sister.

I just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.

In a more positive light, I got some great clothes from Alexander Wang and I miss Samantha Ronson cuz she’s out of town.

Do you believe Lindsay? Or is she sounding a bit defensive about the whole thing?

Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan Photo Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
Born
Birthplace
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan
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