Lindsay Lohan

You've got a long way to go, Britney Spears.

You may ignore your kids, laugh in the face of rehab and continue to hit clubs almost every night, but Lindsay Lohan is a true party-goer.

Mere days after her arrest for DUI and possible cocaine possession, the disgusting actress went to a Memorial Day pool party on Sunday at Teddy's at Hollywood's Roosevelt Hotel, where DJ pal Samantha Ronson was spinning.

"She was in a great mood," says a witness, not mentioning whether or not Lindsay was more drugged out than Pete Doherty.

Later that morning, photo agency X17 snapped pictures of Lohan apparently asleep or passed out in the passenger seat of Ronson's car, several "30 Days" sobriety pendants hanging from the rearview mirror.

Those seem as appropriate as a "Virginal Territory" sign hanging over the bed of Holly Madison.

According to the New York Post, Lohan dropped her sunglasses and cigarettes on her way out of Teddy's, then collapsed when she bent to pick them up. A bouncer had to lift her into the car. It was the most action Lohan had seen since Calum Best felt up her large breasts the night before.

Meanwhile, Dina Lohan, feel free to contact The Hollywood Gossip at any time and let us know how this is another example of your daughter being misunderstood. We've blown up the attached photo to underscore that point.

We can't wait to see how Dina Lohan tells the public how "misunderstood" daughter is for this one:

Lindsay Lohan was arrested and cited for driving under the influence in Los Angeles in the early hours of Saturday morning, say police, who also found a substance tentatively identified as "a usable amount of cocaine" in connection with the accident.

Reportedly, the slutty actress and two other adults were in her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible when she lost control and crashed into a curb and trees in Beverly Hills around 5:30 a.m.

After the crash, police say the playmate of Calum Best got into another car and was driven to Century City Hospital where she was treated for minor injuries that involved "something to her upper chest area."

Police said the two other people in her car were not hurt, but did not elaborate on the hilarious irony that Lohan apparently injured here large breasts in the irresponsible incident.

The cops learned of the accident when they received a 911 call at 5:30 a.m. There was also a witness on the scene, but police don't know if the same person called 911. By the time authorities responded, three minutes after the call, Lohan, her companions and the car were gone from the scene.

Lohan was later located by police at the Century City Hospital. Her car was found at a nearby condo complex and towed at 6:30 a.m. Police won't say how they know that the actress was driving, but say they're "confident" that she was. The Hollywood Gossip surmises that maybe there were Firecrotch stains on the driver's seat.

The actress was charged with only a misdemeanor for now.

She stars in the upcoming movie I Know Who Killed Me and was spotted out at the Hollywood hotspot Les Deux - the spot of an alleged Britney Spears/Ryan Phillippe hook-up - before the crash. She arrived around 11:15 p.m. with a group of friends, and was seen dancing and smoking.

Also at the club were singer James Blunt and Paris Hilton, who was recently ordered to 45 days in jail for violating her probation. Hilton was charged with a DUI in September 2006.

Lonnie Moore, co-owner of Les Deux, said: "A lot of celebrities come [to the restaurant] for dinner or drinks. Because it is a restaurant, open five nights a week, there is no age limit for our patrons. We welcome Lindsay and her friends whenever they would like to come to Les Deux."

Don't you see, readers? Because the establishment is often open, no way it can ID its patrons. Can you imagine if supermarkets used this logic? First graders would be buying beer left and right.

In the end, though, we thank Lohan. On a slow holiday weekend for celebrity gossip, this piece of news is far more exciting than the tidbit that a nude Eva Mendes needs a drink to film a sex scene.

(Hey, Eva, you can buy that drink at Les Deux. So can your six-year old cousin if he wants.)

Lindsay Lohan is getting ready to start work on a new album, which she calls "urban pop."

The Hollywood Gossip is getting ready to work on a slew of new insults to lay upon the Firecrotch queen once the awful album is released.

"We'll start in probably June or July and take four months," Lohan said, speaking either about the CD or the amount of time her and Calum Best plan to pose and preen for the paparazzi

Lindsay, whose last album was 2005's A Little More Personal (Raw), is working on the disc with Maverick Records CEO Guy Oseary.

We're gonna go on a limb and say that the first effort by Blake Lewis will sell a gazillion more copies.

In the meantime, Lohan has been out promoting her movie, Georgia Rule and keeping company with Best â€" not to mention recently topping Maxim magazine's Hot 100 list, to the consternation of those wondering if the publication has ever heard of Eva Longoria or Jessica Biel. Or, heck, even Jennifer Toof.

"It's really flattering," she says of the Maxim title, "but it does get kind of awkward."

Maybe that's because Lindsay knows even Shar Jackson is probably more worthy.

Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton have more than a few things in common.

To make a few, they both enjoy partying a lot, dominating celebrity gossip blogs, and sleeping with lots and lots and lots and lots of men.

But it looks like the Crotch of Fire won't be joining the whore-able heiress in the slammer after prosecutors determined Lohan will not face felony grand theft charges over allegations that she walked away with a woman's clothes. [Insert your own punchline]

The district attorney's office said it had insufficient evidence to file charges on May 9, spokeswoman Jane Robison said Thursday.

The case stems from allegations by a woman who alleged that Lohan stole a shirt and other clothing after visiting a woman's apartment while she was away for a few days.

According to the case-rejection notice, a housesitter invited her to the residence and told authorities that she had given Lindsay Lohan some clothing.

The alleged victim, however, provided investigators with photos showing a plaid shirt she claimed Lohan had taken. But a plaid shirt Lohan was wearing reportedly did not match the one in the photos.

THG NOTE: Someone's gotta tell these stars, such as Lindsay and Mary-Kate Olsen, that the whole lumberjack look is not "in" and never was.

"[Lindsay Lohan] can't be shown to have been seen either taking or to have been later in possession of missing items and items she can be shown to have possessed were with [the housesitter's] permission," Deputy District Attorney Greg Somes wrote.

Well, there you go. Funny as it would be for LL to get locked up, the plus side is that we won't have to talk about Spencer Pratt launching a "Free Lindsay" campaign.

Reps for the Mean Girls star did not immediately return calls. Meanwhile, LL has been spending more quality time with her new British beau, Calum Best.

After they were spotted (along with Lindsay's nipple) on a romantic jaunt to the Bahamas last weekend, the pair hit up the New York restaurant Dos Caminos Wednesday, giggling and being affectionate, sharing guacamole and drinking Diet Coke.

Knowing Lindsay, it was probably spiked with Captain.

Tuesday night, Lohan and her Best man hit the hotspot Stereo to watch her ex, Jamie Burke (now linked to Sienna Miller) perform with his band Bloody Social. After the performance, the three of them hung out in the club.

Still, a Lohan source said the Bahamas trip that it wasn't necessarily the start of something serious with Calum Best.

"They were making out, but I wouldn't call it a relationship," says the pal. "More just hooking up."

Almost as shocking as Britney Spears clubbing after getting out of rehab. Guess you can't teach a 20-year-old dog new tricks.

Typically, this would involve candle wax, handcuffs and the closest male with a British accent - but the former American Idol champion isn't comparing herself to Calum Best, don't worry.

Instead, Kelly Clarkson is telling people that her record label, RCA, asked her to cover a song by a certain red-haired, loose actress.

"My label literally sent me a Lindsay Lohan track from her last album and wanted me to record it for my new album," the American Idol winner tells MTV News.

"And while I like Lindsay Lohan, like I'm cool with her and I think she sings the song well ... it's already been on an album. I don't care what pop star it is."

Clarkson says she was offended by the suggestion - and wants people to vote for her as their favorite Idol over Carrie Underwood.

"They were just sending me stuff that was like almost insulting. I'm like, 'You can't even find new songs? You don't want me to write my album but you're sending me hand me downs?' " she tells MTV News. "I ended up writing the entire thing with the people that I write well with."

Sounds like quite the storm brewing. Is this the sort of controversy Blake Lewis, Jordin Sparks or the winner of this year's competition will need to deal with in a few years?

Meanwhile, Kelly's new album was completed in January and My December will hit stores on June 26. Simon Cowell has already bashed it probably.

The Hollywood Gossip: Lindsay Lohan is a dirty skank.

Now that the actress and our celebrity gossip staff have each expressed our views, we can report that Lohan was in New York City yesterday at the Lucky magazine gift suite for the TV upfronts. She was asked about the recent Bahamian vacation taken where her boobs were exposed:

"It was good. It was nice, it was fun," Lindsay said, succinctly summing up how James Blunt and all other Firecrotch conquerers feel after an hour beneath the actress.

But what about Lohan's travel companion and the most recent victim of her sexually predatory demeanor, British TV personality Calum Best?

"He's a nice guy."

A Lohan source told People magazine that the trip wasn't necessarily the start of something serious. "They were making out, but I wouldn't call it a relationship," said the pal. "More just hooking up."

That's all, really? We're almost as surprised by that news as we are to hear that Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos are having sex again.

At the Lucky suite, the Georgia Rule star had more pressing matters on her mind: The awesome freebie selection.

She scored seven bags of swag, including shorts and hoodies from L.A.M.B., a straw hat from Milk Boutique, a pair of Cosabella pushup bras (because she really needs those!) and about $8,000 worth of pieces from Lia Sophia's Rue Royal jewelry line.

We're sure Lindsay will follow the lead of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition designer, Ed Sanders, too, and help the less fortunate with these items.

Calum Best is a generous man.

It's not enough that he's seen Lindsay Lohan nude. After all, this doesn't set the Brit apart from most other men he sees on the street.

But Best has been kind enough to give the few remaining people who have not seen Lindsay's giant boobs a glimpse of what they've been missing.

Because we're a family celebrity gossip blog, we've covered the private part with a logo. Sorry, guys.

Anyway, the new couple spent the weekend in the Bahamas, where they celebrated the opening of the Cove Atlantis on Paradise Island with parties, sunbathing and lots of PDA.

On Friday night, they took in a poolside Janet Jackson concert alongside John Travolta, Rob Lowe, Whitney Houston, Spike Lee, Michael Jordan and Tyra Banks. Your basic concert crowd, really.

From there, Calum and Lindsay partied the weekend anyway and questioned the decision to give Kate Walsh her own show on ABC.

* To see the uncensored version of Lohan's nipple slip, click here.

A friend of Lindsay Lohan claims that her current relationship isn't serious.

This causes us to wonder if this supposed friend even knows Lindsay Lohan! Has she ever been in a relationship that lasted beyond the second orgasm? With cocaine, perhaps.

The latest boy toy, of course, is Calum Best. And what, specifically, does this source think of the British television personality?

"He's a piece of s-. He's a wanna-be celebrity. Lindsay trusts people until they hurt her."

She also has large boobs. But anyway.

The Hollywood Gossip doesn't really know Best and we're not gonna judge him like others seem to judge Tameka Foster. But we just hope he gets checked for every STD known to man.

After all, Lindsay was in typical form at a NYC club with him over the weekend, bearing the Firecrotch and all.

"She was lifting up her skirt, and sending people over to [her friend, deejay] Samantha Ronson when she didn't like what she was playing," said a spy.

Sounds like the Lohan we know and want to beat senseless with a tire iron love. But we wonder what Felicity Huffman has to say about her now.

Lindsay Lohan does cocaine? No shock there.

Lindsay Lohan sleeps with a hunky British guy? Also no surprise on that one.

But the unexpected news making the celebrity gossip rounds this morning is that we're not solely referring to Jude Law here.

While Lindsay has shagged the heck out of that actor, she's currently involved with a different English chap: some TV personality named Calum Best.

At a party at New York City hot spot Tenjune Wednesday night, Lohan was spotted with Best as she celebrated her new cover of Nylon magazine.

The duo was seated with Lindsay's attention-starved and awful mother, Dina Lohan, along with a few friends in a private banquette by the DJ booth. Reportedly, Lohan sat next to Best all night (when she wasn't up dancing to Eminem or air kissing VIP well-wishers, of course).

Just after midnight, Lohan and Best â€" who spent time together in London last fall and also kept close company while out on the town the previous night â€" shared a very discreet kiss. But not discreet enough for certain celebrity gossip mavens not to catch them!

After smiling as DJ pal Samantha Ronson spun Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" and posing for a quick photo with her mom and Best, Lohan focused again on the man a number of friends referred to as "her new boy toy," at one point leaning in for a 30-second smooch.

These two crazy kids were first linked by the British tabloids last summer, and were spotted hitting the London nightlife scene in the fall after Lohan was a presenter at the World Music Awards there.

Meanwhile, Lohan also spoke to David Letterman Wednesday about pal/enemy Paris Hilton's jail sentence ("It's terrible") and her troubles while filming her new movie, Georgia Rule.

"I was out too late a few of the times. I had a boyfriend. I was fighting with him," she said. "I was very immature. I was very irresponsible. And I understand that."

Doesn't mean she has any changes to change it, of course.

Hey, we're not just randomly going off on Lindsay Lohan here. We're reporting the facts, as relayed to celebrity gossip rags through a friend of the drug-riddled actress.

The photos seen here are of Lohan actively snorting cocaine in the bathroom of a club. Once the power was ingested, the Firecrotch Queen reportedly announced: "I'm going to New York tomorrow to f-ck Jude Law."

We wonder how Kim Hersov feels about that.

The friend, who spoke with Perez Hilton about Lindsay's partying ways, says the screwed up celeb has snorted 20 lines of cocaine in one night at certain points. She'll go on benders that last from 8pm to 11am.

The more white powder Lohan crams into her nose, this source states, the more attention she craves. And the fewer layers of clothing she wears.

"When she is on coke, which is most of the time, all the attention has to be on her. I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone. Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out."

Does any of this really come as a shock? The insider goes on to account for Lohan's taste for men. Any and all men. The actress often brags about going to bed with James Blunt and Calum Best.

But, shockingly, there are more hunks Lindsay has spread her legs for. They reportedly include: Joaquin Phoenix, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Leto and James Franco. And, of course, we haven't even gotten to Harry Morton. Joe Francis. The pool boy at every hotel she stays at.

In the end, this Lohan friend claims that rehab was all a PR stunt. The actress does her best Tara Conner impression almost every night.

"Going to rehab was all for publicity. She wanted people to see her seeking help, but it hasn't got her off the drugs at all. In an average night Lindsay will do two and half grams of coke on her own."

Makes us wonder if Britney Spears going to rehab has gotten her off being insane. Probably not.