by Hilton Hater at

Michael Lohan has said he's engaged to Erin Muller, but the arrangement won't be made official until certain family issues are resolved.

If the ex-convict is waiting for daughter Lindsay to forgive him, well, he'll never be officially engaged.

Lindsay Lohan Nip Slip

Here's what Lindsay wrote in her latest MySpace blog:

“If you have something to say to me, say it to my face. That’s what I have believed my whole life. Don’t be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world. I think we know where the rest of this blog is going…

Congratulations, Michael Lohan. You've managed to make us feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan.

“If you guessed it had to do with my father–then you guessed right! It really hurts, because I have tried. After all that my mother and siblings have gone through, I really tried to make things work. For the hope of having a father again-wanting things to change- even though people have said, some people will forever remain the same.

"He has become a public embarrassment and a bully ...He has no idea what is going on in my life because I have chosen not to involve him in it- His recent attack on my life and my loved ones is simply for an ADDICTION THAT HE HAS- FAME.... If he really cared about me and my life, then he would learn to respect my wishes by staying out of it.

“[BFF Samantha Ronson] has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful. This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item. I’m not going to engage any further, though i probably could go on…"

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by Hilton Hater at

It takes a lot to impress Lindsay Lohan.

Okay, we're lying. For awhile there, a guy just needed to be able to tie one of his shoelaces correctly before ending up in bed with the mediocre actress.

Lindsay Lohan at Fashion Week

Lohan has calmed down a bit over the last few months, though, as her relationship with Samantha Ronson actually seems to have mellowed Lindsay out. These two seem like a regular, happy couple.

Still, when asked what she thought of Olympic icon Michael Phelps, Lindsay told Access Hollywood via text message: “Tell him he’s f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.”

Look out, Samantha! Between the breast stroke and the butterfly, Phelps could teach your girlfriend things in bed even she doesn't know.

Samantha Ronson won't be smiling after she hears what Lindsay Lohan thinks of Michael Phelps.

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by Hilton Hater at

No wonder Samantha Ronson always looks so angry.

Turns out, the DJ wasn't Lindsay Lohan's first lesbian crush.

Wasted Out of Her Mind

According to News of the World, Courtenay Semel - yes, the same Courtenay Semel that is currently dating Tila Tequila - told a friend that she and Lohan had a covert relationship before Lindsay met Samantha.

"Everyone thinks Samantha is Lindsay’s first lesbian love, but we were very passionate until her fear of being found out drove us apart,” Courtenay reportedly told a pal. "At the time she was terrified her career would be over if she revealed her sexual tendencies. But then Samantha came on to the scene and I was dropped.”

Reports - and this photo - say Lindsay Lohan used to make out with Courtenay Semel and then sleep with men in order to suppress her urges to vadge it up.

As for other insights in the juicy, completely reliable story, Lohan allegedly...

  • ... slept with countless men in order to suppress her lesbian urges. Sorry Calum Best, Harry Morton and every pizza delivery guy that knocked on Lindsay's door, she never loved you;
  • ... took drugs to stifle her sexual urges toward women;
  • ... did lines of cocaine in the bathroom with Semel and then fell into bed with her after parties;
  • ... referred to Ronson, before their relationship got physical, as the "father I never had;"
  • ... lived with Courtenay from October 2007 through December 2007, until Semel moved out because Lohan brought too many men home.

Despite these seemingly over-the-top allegations, the rumor about the Lohan family we believe the least is that Ali is only 14.

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by Hilton Hater at

Lindsay Lohan must read The Hollywood Gossip.

Mere hours after we posed the question of whether or not Ali Lohan has underdone a boob job, her sister published the following blog on her MySpace account:

I was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me. Of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.

I am not judging people that do, but I am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet! It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye…

Everyone, Look!

Ali Lohan breast enhancement rumors aren't a laughing matter to her sister.

I just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.

In a more positive light, I got some great clothes from Alexander Wang and I miss Samantha Ronson cuz she’s out of town.

Do you believe Lindsay? Or is she sounding a bit defensive about the whole thing?

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by Hilton Hater at

We're just kidding. Of course Samantha Ronson is dating Lindsay Lohan.

But the 31-year old DJ wouldn't reveal the secrets of her relationship with the young actress to Harper's Bazaar.

Lohan and Ronson Get Cozy

"With the Internet the way it is, one second we're enemies, one second we're best friends, one second we're lovers, and then we're broken up," Ronson told the publication during a recent feature on her and her two siblings.

It sounds like Samantha Ronson hates celebrity gossip, but loves Lindsay Lohan.

Meanwhile, in an e-mail to the magazine, Lohan chimed in: "I love the Ronsons. They're close to my [heart] and I respect all the work they do... [but] Samantha and my relationship is a private matter."

We actually think the relationship between these two is the best thing to happen to Lindsay in ages. After all, it's been years since Lohan's vagina was actually private.

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by Hilton Hater at

Take this rumor with a grain of salt the size of Lindsay Lohan's boobs.

The News of the World is reporting that the Firecrotch Queen and girlfriend Samantha Ronson will be getting married near the end of the year.

Blonde Lohan

The unreliable celebrity gossip tabloid says Lindsay has been shopping for a white mini-dress for the occasion.

Ronson, meanwhole, is supposedly joking around about sporting a black groom-style suit complete with a top hat.

Might Lindsay become Mrs. Samantha Ronson? Or Sam become Mrs. Lindsay Lohan?

"[Dina Lohan] is still working on the date of the party but it's looking like towards the end of the year," a source said. "

They've been keeping the relationship quiet for months... but they've decided it isn't a fling, it's for life - so they want to make their romance public."

Would you support a Ronson and Lohan union?

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by Free Britney at

We know this isn't really news at this point, but regarding Lindsay Lohan and her BFF/girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, it's the most obvious picture of their steamy, unadulterated girl-on-girl action we've seen to date.

Check it out ...

Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson Kissing

If there were any doubts that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are hitting it, this sexy, slightly awkward photograph should help clear them up ASAP.

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by Free Britney at

These four troubled young women have more than just seductive celebrity mug shots in common - they actually served time for their DUI-related antics!

Granted, that meant sitting in a cell for an hour or two in some cases, creating huge spectacles and accomplishing little other than wasting taxpayer money.

But that's a topic for another time. Here are the now-infamous mug shots of Khloe Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton:

  • Khloe Kardashian Mug Shot
  • Lindsay Lohan Mug Shot: Reloaded!
  • Nicole Richie Mug Shot
  • Paris Hilton Mug Shot

Bonus points if you can match the amount of jail time served with the train wreck celebrity: 84 minutes, 22 days, 173 minutes, 82 minutes.

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by Hilton Hater at

Lindsay Lohan is dating Samantha Ronson.

This fact is no longer a secret, as awful mother Dina Lohan recently said "as long as my daughter is happy and healthy, it is what it is." She then spent the next three hours trying to think of the most efficient ways to make money off this relationship.

Such a Freakin' Mess

Reporedly, though, Ronson isn't Lohan's first foray into females (literally!).

Unfunny celebrity blogger, Perez Hilton, is stating that Courtenay Semel and Lindsay took part in a bit of girl-on-girl action back during their friendship days. The two are no longer closer, but Semel is rumored to be dating Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson, another former heterosexual.

Do you believe this report?

Here's proof that Lindsay Lohan and Courtenay Semel used to hang out. But did they have intercourse?

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by Free Britney at

Welcome, celebrity gossip fans and readers, to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, a fun Friday tradition.

This week's Caption Contest was a good one. We like to think they all are, but we particularly liked this celeb pic.

It featured possible lesbians Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson (below). Whose caption won? We chose car.

Congrats! The winning entry appears below the photo, with the full list of submissions appearing down the page.

"Back off girls... she's so hot you might get burned!"

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