by Hilton Hater at . Comments

According to a story in The National Enquirer, Lindsay Lohan has proposed to Samantha Ronson and is set to convert to Judaism in order to make the union work.

In related news, Carrie Prejean just had a heart attack.

White Powder

Sources tell the unreliable newspaper that Ronson's Jewish family wasn't happy when Lindsay asked for Samantha's hand in marriage; in response, Lohan has offered to convert from Catholicism.

And in response to that, Catholics everywhere cried: good riddance!

"Lindsay says Sam's promised she'll persuade her family to accept this, and they won't wait to see if California changes their gay marriage legislation, but will travel to one of the states where it is legal to say their I do's," an insider told the tabloid.

We know it's hard to believe everything/anything The National Enquirer writes, but remember: this is the same publication that broke the Rielle Hunter and Oksana Grigorieva pregnancy stories!

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Thank goodness. Our national nightmare is over.

Lindsay Lohan has landed a job, meaning she won't need to refinance her mortgage into an unappealing adjustable rate home loan whose interest rate sky-rockets after a few years.

Lindsay Lohan, Blue Bikini

A couple months after complaining about the toll this recession is taking on her bank account, Lohan has snagged a new acting gig.

Look for her to appear - alongside Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette. - in The Other Side, an independent fantasy comedy.

"It's a wonderful cast and it's shooting on the East Coast, which we are excited about," Lohan's manager/terrible mother, Dina, told People about the film.

According to Variety, the movie centers on "a grad student [Lohan] who must spend the summer working at a scientific institute on a remote island. She discovers an eccentric community of characters who are hiding a secret about a tragedy that took place many years before."

Speaking of secret tragedies... are you really pregnant, Lindsay?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

This is actually a true story:

The police were called to Lindsay Lohan's house last night, due to an alarm malfunction.

Lindsay Lohan and a 'Friend'

Once they got there, officers on the scene thought the house had been burglarized because it was so messy. An NBC affiliate reports that LAPD officer Karen Rayner asked:

"Is it normally like this, or did the intruders do it?”

We tell that story because, well, it's hilarious. But it also speaks to the depths to which Lindsay has sunk, making Dina Lohan's recent comments about her daughters that much more troublesome (and, well, hilarious).

The World's Worst Mother told Life & Style that “Lindsay is a good person to have watch over Ali right now. Lindsay can show Ali the ropes. Ali’s out there working on her record and singing career."

If "ropes" is a euphemism for drugs, alcohol and sex with random men or women, then Dina is right. Ali is in ideal hands.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

According to a new report, Lindasy Lohan has slept with numerous men since her break-up with Samantha Ronson. This, we believe.

That same source also claims that the promiscuous star is seven-weeks pregnant with some dude's baby. This, we do not believe.

Ali and Lindsay Lohan Picture

Still, it's our duty as a well-respected gossip outlet to deliver celebrity news, no matter how questionable it may be. Our name, after all, is The Hollywood Gossip, not The Hollywood Fact Finders.

In a change of pace, Lindsay Lohan merely blows a kiss in this photograph, as opposed to the nearest warm-blooded male.

Journalist Ian Halperin writes the following on his site, Ian Undercover:

I swear she’s carrying. She’s going through big emotional turmoil. She’s not sure if she’ll have it or go through with an abortion that she booked to have in the next few days. Saddest part is she has no idea who the father is. She must have slept with more than two dozen men in the past couple of months.

Halperin also reports that former boxing champ Mike Tyson often threatened to kill Brad Pitt for dating Tyson's ex-wife, Robin Givens.

In other words: take the Lohan pregnancy story with a grain of salt as big as Lindsay's boobs and/or her list of sexual partners.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Dina Lohan is slamming reports that question her parenting skills and claim that her 15-year-old daughter, Ali, is socializing instead of studying.

"Ali is in a home-schooling program. She has never been pulled out of school," Dina tells People. "It's the same home-schooling program that Lindsay was in since the 10th grade. It's a wonderful program many celebrities are enrolled in."

Defending her parenting skills (and we use the term loosely), Dina Lohan says, "I am a single mom of four children, and I devote my life to my children."

As for recent reports that Ali Lohan has been bitten by the partying bug, Dina says her daughter "is working, working hard. She's recording, and she's working on a fashion line. Ali has also been supporting her sister."

Dina Lohan just wants money and attention the best for her children.

Lindsay Lohan, who recently split from girlfriend Samantha Ronson, is also focusing on her career (and we also use that term loosely), her proud mom says.

"Lindsay is working extremely hard," Dina said of her Adderall-addict daughter. "Her new spray tan line sold more than 100,000 units at Sephora in one day."

There are so many things wrong with that statement, and this woman in general, that we don't even know where to start. We'll just pass and move on.

Dina says she understands that her family's high profile garners attention, but says, "We just wish people would leave us alone – at least for Mother's Day!"

That's the problem with becoming a cheap media whore at your kids' expense - celebrity gossip sites scrutinize Lindsay Lohan pictures. Funny how that works.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

A new report is raising new questions about Lindsay Lohan's drug use.

Despite claims that she's "been eating enough," as Lohan told E! News this week, those that spotted the star on vacation in Hawaii last week say she was nothing but skin and bones.

Lohan admits that her recent, quite public breakup with Samantha Ronson has contributed to "a hard month," but she's consistently rebuked accusations of an eating disorder.

Now, an article in Us Weekly actually agrees with Lindsay that neither anorexia nor bulimia is to blame for her overly svelte figure; instead, the tabloid reports that Lohan takes Adderall, a prescription drug typically given to people for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

"She takes Adderall all the time," said a source. "She gets jittery because of the way the pills affect her. It's a major reason why she's losing weight."

  • Pic of Lindsay Lohan
  • Desperate for Food

You don't need to ingest your finger, Lindsay. Can someone please get this girl some food?!?

[Photos: Splash News]

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It's tough being an out-of-work actress.

Sometimes, you need a break from all that lack of working.

As a result, Lindsay Lohan jetted off to Hawaii last week. She donned a bikini, laid on the beach and reportedly got laid by Ben Holz.

She also checked her BlackBerry to see if any movie offers came in. Nope, none yet...

Email Check

Note to Lindsay: when you're bikini becomes baggy, it's time to eat some food.

Shockingly, she actually followed this advice in one of the photos below. Click on each to enlarge a pic of Lohan:

  • Pale and Gaunt
  • Hair Blower
  • Hawaiian Vacation
  • Lindsay Eats!
  • Lindsay in Hawaii

by Free Britney at . Comments

It's been a month since she split from Samantha Ronson, which Lindsay Lohan admits was "a hard month," but the coked-up skank is doing her best to move on personally and professionally, and tells E! that she and Ronson remain "in touch."

"We're friends," the one-time actress said at the launch of her Sevin Nyne spray-tanning line in Santa Monica, Calif. "I'm doing great. I'm very happy."

The Sevin Nyne line, named after the anorexic waif's approximate weight Lohan and Ronson's lucky numbers, is currently available at Sephora.

LiLo added that the two "briefly reunited" in person last week. A return to nuclear domestic fights and routine police visits can't be too far behind!

As for how she's getting her life back in order, LiLo says that her family, particularly cleavage-baring 15-year-old Ali Lohan, have been helpful.

"We're a tight family," said Lindsay, who has recently been romantically linked to Ben Holz. "We've been through a lot. We take care of each other."

Lindsay Lohan at the launch of her signature spray-tanner line. Really.

The struggling Crotch of Fire has also faced scrutiny over her weight lately, as she's been setting almost daily records for amount of rib cage exposed.

While the recent onslaught of Lindsay Lohan bikini photos has given way to yet another round of concerned critics and celeb gossip blogs slamming her for being too skinny, the star defended her body, saying, "I like the way I look."

As for her "day job," Lohan says she is in negotiations for a film that is scheduled to start shooting in October. She would not divulge any details about the project, however, because it does not exist it has yet to be a done deal.

In other Lohan news, her ex Harry Morton gave a rare interview today, calling their relationship the worst thing of all time. Tell us how your really feel, H!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Sorry, Swine Flu.

Move over, Iraq War.

Take a backseat, Holocaust.

Turns out there's something a lot worse than any of you: dating Lindsay Lohan.

Featured in Inked Magazine, Harry Morton says he couldn't be more ashamed about his relationship with the troubled train wreck. He doesn't ever wanna be in the media spotlight again.

"It is the worst thing of all time... I'll be happy if it never happens again," Morton said, likely not helping his goal of avoidng publicity by giving an interview. "There are people out there who just love it. Not me."

Of course, the owner of the Pink Taco restaurant chain claims he was never really Lohan's boyfriend in the first place.

"I didn't really date her," Morton said. "This is one of those things where people will say, 'Yes, you did.' But I really didn't."

Trust us, Harry, you really did.

It may be shameful, but the photos above prove that Harry Morton was very familar with a certain Crotch of Fire for a few months.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Is Ben Holz dating Lindsay Lohan?

The 36-year old computer geek isn't shooting down this latest rumor. Here's how it got started:

Holz, as pictured below, was spotted splashing around with Lindsay during her vacation in Hawaii this week. When Radar Online asked the entrepreneur - who runs a Web-based tech company called PeekEez.com - if he was dabbling in the Firecrotch, he laughed and replied:

“I’d prefer not to say anything about the situation."

That's far from a denial!

Ben Holz Photo

In this photo, Ben Holz is all wet and staring at Lindsay Lohan. According to reports, behind closed doors, she's the one that becomes all wet when staring at Holz... if you know what we mean!

Holz is a Carnegie Mellon alum. He resides in Seattle and has owned a couple of internet cafes in Hawaii.

He was also spotted alongside Ali Lohan during the family's trip to the tropics. We can only pray he didn't make a move on her, too. We know she looks old, Ben, but the girl is only 15!

Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan Photo Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
Born
Birthplace
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan
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