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On How I Met Your Mother, Marshall becomes enamored with a stripper who is a dead-ringer for his wife, Lily. This was understandable. Lily even got into it.

When the girl looks like your daughter, though? Most men, even types who have daughters and still go to strip clubs, would head for the exits at that point.

Not Michael Lohan, though. According to a source, that's how he likes it!

That's right. In what is easily today's most hilarious celebrity gossip rumor, Michael actually seeks out a certain kind of stripper when he heads to the clubs.

A former owner of a renowned strip club (there's a contradiction in terms) claims that when Michael came in, he liked girls resembling his unstable daughter.

Linds Photo

It's okay, Michael Lohan. You can look. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

"Lindsay Lohan's father once sat down and described the kind of dancer he was looking for," said Eliot Osher of Scores. "We sent some girls over. Funny ... they all seemed to look like Lindsay. We ended up having to show him to the door."

It's probably not all that surprising. Lindsay is a female who bears a resemblance to Michael Lohan's absolute favorite person in the world: Michael Lohan.

For the record, Mike denied this report, saying he never had girls dance for him at the establishment. Right. He just went to watch the Yankees game ...

That's up there with Bill Clinton's tall tale of trying pot but not inhaling. Can you even do that? It's okay, Mike. At least we think you're revolting anyway.

Hey, and at least he wasn't requesting Ali Lohan look-alikes.

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Lindsay Lohan says that she's never been happier in life.

Recent photos and behavior seem to suggest otherwise.

The gaunt-looking singer-actress-fashion disaster put on a show at Jermaine Dupri and Pascal Mouawad's Nu Pop Movement launch party in West Hollywood.

With messy hair and skeletal frame, Lindsay Lohan was disheveled as she spoke. Inside, she smoked, played with her Blackberry and scored "tons of swag."

It's the Adderall talking.

When given a free watch, she joked about giving it to her estranged dad Michael. Chatting with celebrity gossip photographers later, she slammed her dad again.

"Why don't you go find my dad, he's the one who wants to be in the pictures," she said as the paparazzi did its thing. Funny stuff, but it's clearly wearing on her.

For the love of G*d, look at that photo. Shudder.

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Her mother is attention-starved.

Her sister is 15 going on 37.

And her father might be the worst human being on the planet.

But Lindsay Lohan still swears she's loving life these days. She told E! News on Thursday night:

"I've never been happier in my life. As long as my mom, my sister and my brother are happy, then I'm good."

But what about your dad? Oh. Right. Nevermind.

Lindsay

Lohan even says her career is moving full steam ahead. She has a new album coming out; she just can't say when... or what songs will be on it... or who is producing it.

"I can't say anything because the person who I'm working with on the album I haven't officially signed with yet," she said.

Either that, or the CD is as real as Lindsay's happiness. Poor drug-addicted trainwreck girl.

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As fashion face-offs go, this has mismatch written all over it.

Lauren Conrad, who can do no wrong, and who routine racks up 30-40 point wins in our fashion polls, up against wreckalicious walking "fashion disaster" Lindsay Lohan.

But can LiLo pull an upset? Don't count her out just yet.

LC celebrated designer Rebecca Minkoff's Spring 2010 line in her polka-dotted shirt, while Lohan hit the town in L.A. in her polka-dotted blouse under a cropped blazer.

Who looked better in this style? Vote below ...

LC/Lo

Who looked better in this style?

 

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According to his estranged wife, and quite possibly New York State law, the recent leaking of phone call tapes to the press by Michael Lohan wasn't just a d!ck move.

It was also illegal.

Some legal experts say the father of Lindsay Lohan could wind up back behind bars - familiar surroundings for him - after releasing tapes of his family's phone calls.

The reason? Simple. M-Lo wasn't allowed to be on the calls in the first place. That's according to a protective order Dina obtained in Nassau County, N.Y., in 2005.

The order bars Michael from contacting Dina by email or phone 'til 2011. The release of the tapes, one of which was made in 2008, could be the smoking gun.

DISH SERVED COLD: Michael Lohan has been dishing out serious embarrassment to Lindsay lately, and she and mom Dina are out to make him pay - with jail time.

If police and prosecutors determine he broke the rules of the protective order, as Dina alleges this week, Michael could be looking at some quality time in prison.

Dina Lohan's lawyers have already contacted the Nassau County D.A. about Michael, who shows no signs of abating - he's threatening to leak more on Lindsay.

Sadly for Lindsay, there are no laws subjecting him to punishment from being an insensitive, deadbeat dad, a backstabber or an awful human being. Too bad.

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Lindsay Lohan's foray into fashion with Emanuel Ungaro was the equivalent of Ashlee Simpson's into TV on Melrose Place. So the designer said (if not in those words).

The founder of the fashion house is publicly criticizing Lindsay Lohan’s recent collection, for which she teamed up with Ungaro as in "artistic advisor."

Lindsay Lohan and Vikram Chatwal

That's funny in itself.

Ungaro told an audience at the Estoril film festival in Portugal that the collection on which Lohan served as fashion consultant was nothing short of "a disaster.

The designer tried to distance himself from his own line, saying, “I’m furious but there isn’t a thing I can do. I have absolutely no link with that house.”

He sold the company to an investment house in 2005.

The face of a can't miss fashion mogul.

Lindsay Lohan was announced as artistic advisor to the house in September and, a month later, presented her first collection, a collaboration with Estrella Archs.

At its showing in October, the Lohan/Archs collaboration was trashed by critics. Ungaro said that with the project, the company is “well on its way to losing its soul.”

Ungaro said, “This happens to a lot of designers. We were owners, responsible for the designs and destiny. But if you give up your house, you give up your soul."

Harsh! This guy should team up with Michael Lohan on his next press release.

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We may not know much about raising kids, but when Dina Lohan is calling you out as a terrible parent, and actually makes decent points, you've got issues.

Michael Lohan us continuing his almost daily release of embarrassing, private phone call recordings he somehow has from his troubled daughter Lindsay.

His latest? A call in which Dina and he argue over who sucks more, and she claims Lindsay cuts herself (possibly over her alleged BF Heath Ledger dying).

Dina is far from thrilled about these tapes being released, and is lambasting Michael's misguided, press-hungry bid to shame Lindsay Lohan into recovery.

Again, when you're called out as a media whore by one of the bigger media whores around, and even she can't stand your tactics, you really suck, M-Lo.

  • Dina Will Smack You
  • Linds Pic
  • M-Lo Blow

LOHAN FAMILY FEUD: Dina can't believe Michael's trashing of Lindsay.

"The tapes were from a long time ago, and for a father to stoop this low is unforgivable," she tells E! News, imploring Lindsay fans to consider the source.

"My ex-husband has been in and out of jail for 10 years. My children and I gave him a chance to get to know them again. He clearly blew that chance!"

Dina, who with Lindsay and her former assistant are threatening legal action against Michael, says he should not be able to record these calls anyway.

"I have had a criminal order of protection from the domestic violence sector since 2005," she says, adding that the order extends through 2011.

"He was not supposed to even be harassing me by phone."

"My heart is breaking for my children that he could do this. He has no visitation and is six months behind in child support. The authorities have been alerted!"

Consider the source, indeed.

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In the latest leaked phone tape involving the insane Lohan family, Lindsay's awful mom Dina says Lindsay was dating Heath Ledger when he died in January 2008.

His death devastated her, according to Dina. This was among the more explosive revelations in the leaked phone conversation between Dina and Michael Lohan.

"She was dating Heath when he died," Dina reveals. "I don't know if you know that, but I know 'cause I would drop her off. They were friends. Very, very close, OK?"

She said that the actor's death "really f----d her up."

For what it's worth, it's unclear what the extent of the celebs' relationship was, but Lindsay Lohan and Heath Ledger were romantically linked in December 2007.

Dina feared for Lindsay's life, too: "Because when she's drunk or takes an Adderall with it she will do something like Heath did in a second without thinking."

Gettin' Lo-Han

Were Lindsay in Heath really in a relationship?

In the 2008 call, Dina discusses how desperate the situation was for her daughter. "She cannot be alone," Dina tells Michael. "When she sleeps here she sleeps with me... she has fears from being little and what you did to us."

Dina also defends Lindsay's former assistant Jenni Muro, who yesterday threatened legal action against Michael, telling him that Muro was going to save Lindsay.

Lindsay's mother was also worried about her relationship with Samantha Ronson, telling Michael she thought Lindsay should walk away, but it wasn't that easy.

"It's [not that easy] for an irrational person who has a problem with her DNA and alcohol and Adderall and asthma and every other things she's got wrong with her."

So true. Click to listen to Dina's phone call to Michael ...

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Michael Lohan is a pretty terrible parent. Who the heck leaks a taped phone call of his daughter bawling hysterically for help just to "prove a point" ... in the press.

Someone about to get served with a cease and desist letter for secretly taping several of these phone conversations he had with her a year or so ago, that's who.

Lindsay Lohan's former assistant, Jenni Muro, plans to send Michael Lohan just that, and should he release more dirt, as he threatens, legal action could be next.

Muro, who quit as Lindsay's manager in February, told TMZ that Lindsay's mercenary dad "has violated the privacy of the daughter he uses as a cash register."

  • Train Wreck Picture
  • Mike Lohan Pic

Team Lindsay, Team Michael or Team Father-Daughter Rehab?

In the tapes, Muro, who claims her own privacy was violated as well, talks about trying to save Lindsay's life, which as we all know by now is getting out of control.

In addition to being a d!ck move in general, she says Michael's release of the tape was disingenuous, as the version was heavily edited and taken out of context.

She says Michael's conduct was "way beyond low." Mmmyeah. That's an even bigger understatement than saying Britney Spears' live shows are lip-synched.

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Ding, ding!

Again, Michael Lohan has come out swinging against daughter Lindsay, who he claims he's trying to help but is really just humiliating with each publicity-crazed outburst.

This time, in response to Lindsay's Twitter attack on him yesterday (for releasing recordings of her phone calls to him), he says she's just "grasping at straws."

Mmmkay.

"When she gets angry she lashes out," Michael says. Wonder why ...

Naturally, Michael is defending his release of the Lindsay phone call tape, saying he did it because she belongs in rehab and the end justifies the means, or something.

Lohan Patriarch

Hello? I've got some dirt on Lindsay! $20,000 and it's yours!

Unfortunately for Lindsay, Michael is so "upset" about his daughter "calling him out" on Twitter, he's planning to release "everything" he has on her. Compassionate.

That supposedly includes texts of what a great father he is. Riiiight.

Michael Lohan did own up to doing drugs, which Lindsay Tweeted about in her rant yesterday: "I got my life back on track. I want her to get her life back on track."

Not sure how trashing your girl on every site or program that'll have you is what we'd call "getting your life back on track," but whatever helps you sleep at night.

Shockingly, Lindsay and mom Dina have not been in contact with him since this feud erupted. Well, with the exception of the protective order her lawyer is seeking.

Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan Photo Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
Born
Birthplace
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan
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