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Bristol Palin reveals in her new memoir, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far (yes, Bristol Palin has a memoir), that Levi Johnston is a "gnat."

One who tapped that piece while she was drunk.

The 20-year-old single mom says, in an excerpt from the book, that "the gnat named Levi Johnston is constantly spreading false accusations against our family."

He's also a self-involved slacker, apparently.

  • Bristol Palin After Plastic Surgery
  • A Levi J. Pic

Bristol Palin says that Levi, the father of her two-year-old son Tripp, "cheated on me about as frequently as he sharpened his hockey skates."

We assume that's a lot.

Speaking of Tripp, he was conceived on a camping trip upon which Bristol got drunk for the first time - on wine coolers. When she woke up the next morning in her tent, alone, Bristol had no recollection of what happened.

Somewhere, Sarah Palin is gritting her teeth.

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You gotta love the title and COVER of Levi Johnston's forthcoming, thought-provoking memoir, Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs.

If nothing else. the guy credit for his sense of humor.

It's hard not to look at the pic below and not laugh. Hopefully whoever Levi got to ghost-write this (he's not the sharpest tool in the shed) does it justice:

Levi Johnston Book Cover

The official teaser on the inside of the book jacket reads as such:

"He got naked and got inside Bristol Palin. Then he got naked in Playgirl. Now it's time for Levi to get you the naked TRUTH about Sarah Palin. Respect."

Just kidding. We made that up. But you have to admit, as far as memoirs from guys most famous for mistreating the women who made them famous go, Levi's already beats the heck out of Jesse James' American Outlaw.

Why even try to appear sympathetic or serious. At least Levi Johnston embraces what he is - and his adventures with the Palins do need to be cataloged.

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Levi Johnston is a real American hero.

First he got nude and put a baby in Bristol Palin. Then he posed nude in Playgirl. Now he's coming out with a tell-all book to reveal the naked truth about Sarah Palin.

Even better, he's doin' it all for the U.S. of A.

Levi, the two-time ex-fiance of Bristol and the father of her son Tripp, is ready to give an insider's view of Alaska's most famous family like never before.

Levi Johnson: So Rugged

Levi Johnston: So rugged. So relentless in pursuit of his 15 minutes.

The story of the Palins and Levi will be revealed in Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs, to be released this fall by Touchstone Publishing.

"I want to tell the truth about my close relationship with the Palins," Johnston, who is also running for mayor of Wasilla, says in a statement via his publisher.

"My sense of Sarah and my perplexing fall from grace – how I feel and all that I've learned. I'm doing this for me, for my boy Tripp and for the country."

Amen, brother. Amen.

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Is Levi Johnston's little sister about to follow in his naked footsteps? She just might be, says a hilarious report. Are you ready for Mercede Johnston nude?!

The 18-year-old, who recently started her own blog, has been hitting the gym hard in Wasilla, Alaska, looking to shed 10-15 pounds for the risque pictorial.

Mercede Johnston will pose for Playboy in L.A. this month, reports say. We'll believe it when we see it, but even if this is false, kudos to whomever made it up.

Levi and Mercede Johnston

WINNERS: Comment rendered unnecessary.

Her brother single-handedly revived Playgirl, whose Levi Johnston nude spread and all its strategically placed hockey equipment sold record numbers in 2010.

While Levi refused to give fans the full Johnston, Mercede will be holding nothing back, supposedly. She's going full frontal, according to inside sources.

Try to contain your excitement. Sarah Palin has not yet been reached for comment on this breaking news. Give it time, though. She'll comment on ANYTHING.

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Bristol Palin isn't cleared to move to Arizona. Not yet, at least.

As previously reported, the single mother has purchased a home in the southwest and various signs point to her attending Arizona State. But Alaska law prevents Bristol from relocating with Tripp unless she files a motion or the child's father grants permission.

But Levi Johnston will reportedly make it easy on his former lover, as the Z-lister's rep tells TMZ: "Levi is not at all upset that Bristol is going to Arizona... After the holidays, Levi and Bristol will get together and discuss plans for Tripp."

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Sunny Oglesby is apparently dating Levi Johnston.

While the wisdom of this decision is questionable to say the least, given Levi's track record, they seem really happy - and Bristol Palin is even happy for them!

Levi, 20, has been dating Sunny Oglesby, 19, for two months since meeting through mutual friends. They're even "in a relationship" on Facebook! OMG!!

Sunny Oglesby Photos

ALWAYS SUNNY: Sorry, that's the best we can do for a photo of Sunny Oglesby and Levi Johnston at the moment. She's not a fan of THG on Facebook ... YET!!

If you assumed this newfound romance would cause a rift between Levi and baby mama Bristol Palin ... that would be a safe assumption. But an incorrect one.

"I have to be happy for Levi's new relationship because it sounds like his new girlfriend is influencing him to want to actually spend time with Tripp," she said.

"I sincerely appreciate [Sunny's] influence because [Levi Johnston] hasn't asked to see Tripp in over five months, so I'm happy for this new development!"

Passive aggressive much?

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Levi Johnston just can't resist.

Once again going after his arch-nemesis and baby mama's mama, he says Sarah Palin is "not qualified" to be President of the United States of America.

Palin is not officially seeking that office and may never do so, but why let that stop you if you're Levi and forever linked to the former Alaska Governor.

A Levi J. Pic

Seeking Sarah's old position, Levi's not afraid to bash his rival.

Johnston, who's hilariously running for Sarah's old job of mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, was commenting on her response to inquiries about a White House bid.

"If there's nobody else to do it," was how Sarah assessed her chances of running. As an American and her grandson's father, Levi Johnston was unmoved.

"That makes no sense because someone always runs for President," he notes. "[Sarah] wouldn't go through with a campaign even if she was nominated."

Burn.

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The View panel left Bill O'Reilly alone for five seconds today and tag-teamed another political lightning rod: Wasilla, Alaska mayoral hopeful Levi Johnston.

On the program, the man who knocked up Bristol Palin tried and failed to explain his bid for mayor of his hometown, saying you don't need qualifications.

Hey, that's less ridiculous than him claiming he has any.

Levi Johnston is eyeing Sarah Palin's old office.

When asked by Barbara Walters what his qualifications are, Johnston said the job doesn't call for any and his lack of experience shouldn't be an impediment.

"QThere really are none," he said. "You've got to live in city limits for one year. You don't even need a high school diploma, which I'm working on anyway."

Well, that's reassuring to voters. When Whoopi Goldberg asked about his platform, he blanked. "At this point in time, I couldn't tell you," Levi Johnston said.

"Usually when people say they're running for mayor, they've thought about it before they actually run," Sherri Shepherd countered. Most people do, yes.

Follow the jump for a clip of Levi on The View ...

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An overbearing mother. A slap in the face. The end of a young romance.

Sound like anyone you know? Or is Brittani Senser's "After Love" video, which co-stars Levi Johnston, just a coincidence, rather than art imitating life?

"Yeah, it plays in with his life. It also plays in with mine," Britt says of her video's hunk, who very possibly got his ass dumped by Bristol Palin over it.

Senser is honest about why she cast Johnston specifically.

"We added Levi because he's handsome - and we thought we'd get a few hundred thousand Youtube hits," says Senser. "We had no idea it would become this grand-scheme publishing phenomenon that it's become in the last few weeks."

In the video, Levi Johnson and Brittani play a couple on the verge of a breakup due to the meddling ways of her slap happy, on-screen mother. A thinly-veiled shot at a former V.P. candidate? Bristol Palin certainly thought so. Peep it post-jump ...

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

While Bristol Palin is busy Dancing with the Stars, the father of her child is sizzling with the singer.

Indeed, Levi Johnston met Brittani Senser on the set of her video for the song "After Love." In it, the pair fall for each other... only for their relationship to be busted by her disapproving mother.

Hmmm... we wonder where they got the idea for that set-up? Brittani and Levi have since started dating in real life, with her actually referring to Johnston as a "great guy." Below, feast your eyes on a few still images from the video and marvel at the chemistry between the stars: