Bristol Palin reveals in her new memoir, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far (yes, Bristol Palin has a memoir), that Levi Johnston is a "gnat."
One who tapped that piece while she was drunk.
The 20-year-old single mom says, in an excerpt from the book, that "the gnat named Levi Johnston is constantly spreading false accusations against our family."
He's also a self-involved slacker, apparently.
Bristol Palin says that Levi, the father of her two-year-old son Tripp, "cheated on me about as frequently as he sharpened his hockey skates."
We assume that's a lot.
Speaking of Tripp, he was conceived on a camping trip upon which Bristol got drunk for the first time - on wine coolers. When she woke up the next morning in her tent, alone, Bristol had no recollection of what happened.
Somewhere, Sarah Palin is gritting her teeth.