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As Jennifer Armstrong of Entertainment Weekly notes, it was almost as if we were watching the wrong show Monday night, what with all the signs of sense popping up around our girls on The Hills:

"I feel like Jason like broke me," Lauren said, explaining for the 48th time that she's reeling from the breakup with Jason Wahler and not "feeling" Brody. Yet

Heidi Montag with No Makeup!

Then Heidi said she thought it was about time she make amends with one-time BFF and current rival Audrina Patridge, scoffing,

"What are we, in high school?"

Apparently her obnoxious beau (and the cause of the Audrina rift), Spencer, still is. He showed his true colors last week, and this episode is no different.

Like when Heidi Montag's co-worker, Max, warned her that she might be criticized for the adorable, yet skimpy white sundress she wore to the office.

Spencer, like, totally got in the dude's face when they showed up for lunch at the same restaurant (another strange Hills coincidence).

"Do you have any idea what I'm gonna do to you, bro?" Spencer said, nearly running poor Max into oncoming traffic. This after a lunch full of Spencer doing preemptive damage control on the impending Heidi-Audrina summit, warning Heidi that she's gotta think about her motives.

Translation: Don't believe Audrina when she tells the truth about Spencer macking on her when he was with Heidi. The light (slowly) started to dawn on Heidi by the time she got through her dinner with Audrina.

"I'm really sick of people saying to me, 'Watch out for Spencer, watch out for Spencer,'" she said. But then Audrina told her Spencer had been calling her in the last few weeks, and when she said, "Be careful with him," Heidi seemed to actually be giving it some thought.

"I don't know when I got so jealous," Heidi said as she packed for a trip home to Colorado. This was right after a not-so-subtle request that Lauren Conrad do a little bit of spying on Spencer in her spare time that weekend.

Then, our girl Heidi accidentally - riiiiight - missed her flight and forgot to tell Spencer about it! Naturally, she showed up unannounced at the club, where Spencer was engaged in an intense conversation about naked picnics (really) with three blonde Playboy models he and Brody Jenner were rolling with that night.

Brody, ever the smooth operator, went immediately to Lauren, hugged her, and said: "You didn't crash anybody's night. If anything, you just made my night."

Spencer, on the other hand, accused Heidi of being sneaky, asked her why she was being rude, and proceeded to resume his naked picnic discussion.

Finally, Heidi had enough, which means she ended up sprawled on the sofa back home, in sweats and puffy eyed, while Lauren did some first-rate BFF duty.

"I was really falling in love with him," Heidi bemoaned.

As long as Heidi's around, there will never be too much good judgment on this show. But does this mean she and Spencer are officially over? We'll probably find out next week on The Hills... and we'll definitely be watching again then.

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A couple of T.H. Gossip favorites - Lauren Conrad and Vanessa Minnillo - pose for the cameras as they take front-row seats at bridal and ready-to-wear designer Monique Lhuillier's runway show at New York Fashion Week on Tuesday.

Lauren Conrad, Holly Montag

Needless to say, especially when comparing Vanessa's outfit here to Jessica Simpson's horrific new look (and career downturn), that Nick Lachey is one lucky guy.

We'd say the same about Brody Jenner, but we're never sure whether he and Lauren are dating... or whether that's just on The Hills, or in real life, or what.

But we love LC!

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ESPN's Bill Simmons, a.k.a. The Sports Guy, is famous for his long-winded, hilarious sports columns, being married to The Sports Gal, and for watching enough television to rot the brains of even the pop culture aficionados at T.H. Gossip.

That said, it's only appropriate that when asked to describe his feelings on Miami, site of tonight's Super Bowl XLI, Simmons turned to a young reality TV star we know and sort of love. Here's what Bill writes...

LC: Lauren Conrad Style

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All I know is this: My assignment for this week was to come to Miami and tell you, the home reader, what it's like to have a Super Bowl here. Right now, we're working on a solid A-plus. The grade could change, but that's what we're looking at right now.

Since I can't sum up my feelings on South Beach in a single sentence, let's hand it over to the great Brody Jenner, who's making a noble attempt on The Hills right now to break the reality-TV record for "most cheesy compliments ever given to a girl while trying to get into her pants."

Two things you need to know about Brody:

  1. He's Bruce Jenner's son
  2. He's already been on two reality shows.

Now he's pursuing the star of The Hills - America's sweetheart, Lauren Conrad - who's far too stupid to realize that Brody called her only because he knew the cameras had just started rolling for Season 2.

You would think she'd catch on after Jason Wahler (her fellow Laguna Beach grad, and last season's nose-itching boyfriend on The Hills) pulled the same stunt on her and she was too dumb to see that one, either.

She's easy prey for a player like Brody, who, since his arrival on The Hills, has been laying lines on her like "you have the most beautiful eyes I have EVER seen."

We're about three more episodes away from having a threesome with him and a 6-foot bottle of Rohypnol. I don't see this ending well.

What does this have to do about anything? Well, in this week's episode, Brody finally lured LC back to his apartment and gave her his greatest line yet:

"There's nowhere I'd rather be than right here with you."

I don't feel that strongly about South Beach, but give me a few more days. We might get there.

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Break out the champagne glasses. Lauren Conrad is officially 21!

That means she can put away that fake ID and actually drink legally at Hyde and the other clubs she goes to on a nightly basis. And thank God for that.

How Does My Butt Look?

In typical fashion, Lauren celebrated her 21st birthday in style last night with her buddies (and co-stars on The Hills) at an L.A. hotspot.

Below, Lauren is pictured with BFF Heidi Montag (top, with LC, and bottom left) along with Heidi's BFF Audrina Patridge, who's been getting on our nerves of late. Are you interested in Spencer or not? What's with the drama every time you see Heidi at the club? Luckily, there was no in-fighting among the gang at last night's special occasion.

Stunningly, Kristin Cavallari was not invited. No word on whether that Casanova Brody Jenner was able to make it, or if he was too busy boinking Lindsay Lohan.

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Hopefully, Reichen Lehmkuhl is too busy beating the living snot out of Perez Hilton to see this picture.

After all, Lehmkuhl's ex-boyfriend, Lance Bass, with whom he says he remains good friends, is seen here hanging out with Lauren Conrad.

Stephanie, Lo and LC

Yes, we realize that Lance Bass, the former *NSync member, is homosexual. But don't underestimate the power of Conrad to make him change teams.

She may be bad at dating, but Lauren is a hot ticket. Smart, ambitious and cute as hell, it'd be hard for any man out there to resist the alluring star of The Hills.

Brody Jenner sure couldn't. We know that from Monday's episode. Of course, we also know he and LC broke up in real life. Several months ago. But that's neither here nor there.

Point being, don't be surprised to see a press conference in the coming weeks in which Bass announces he is no longer gay. And that he's now with Heidi Montag.

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Oh, man, is that Brody Jenner a smooth operator.

No wonder he can date any reality star he wants. No wonder he went - as Lauren recapped on Monday on The Hills, and we reported a while back - straight from Kristin Cavallari to Nicole Richie.

Heidi Montag Playboy Cover

You can see why. When a guy with the big brown puppy-dog eyes is insisting that "you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen," well, you want to believe him enough that you do. At least a little.

This is The Hills, after all.

At any rate, that two-timing game his pal Spencer ran on Heidi Montag and LC's pal Audrina continued to wreak havoc for the third straight week. If this dude looked half as good as Brody, it might make sense. But let's face it, he's no prize.

Audrina's characterization was all too fitting.

"He's a dirtbag," she told her friend at work. "[Heidi] is obviously just getting played."

The played one, however, was having none of it. She refused to invite Audrina to her big birthday shindig, for which she, incidentally, wore a black tutu, a barely existent halter top, and a crown.

"I'm an American princess," Heidi cooed, thus erasing any trace of sympathy we might have for her in this love-triangle situation.

Audrina broke protocol by not only showing up at the party uninvited but also confronting Heidi about their tiff in a calm, rational manner.

Naturally, that could only end up one way: with Heidi blowing her off, some random friend named Jen chastising her further, and her leaving in tears.

Brody and Lauren Conrad, meanwhile, played down any interest they might have in dating each other.

"Lauren is so your style," Spencer said to Brody, who replied, "I just got out of a relationship like a week ago."

Across the room, Lauren - still reeling from her breakup with Jason Wahler - was saying to Heidi, "I'm so not ready... I do not want to date anyone."

Instead, Lauren took on some diplomatic duties and attempted to negotiate peace over lunch with Audrina the next day (dragging poor Whitney along as a human shield). But the result was awkward silence punctuated by Audrina's occasional explanations of her behavior at Heidi's birthday. Later, we get the scoop from Lauren and Heidi:

Heidi Montag: What's gonna happen if you see her out?
Lauren Conrad: I'll say hi like anyone else.
Heidi Montag: But it's a mutual thing?
Lauren Conrad: Yeah.

Well, then. That settles that.

Surprisingly, Spencer voiced our feelings on the subject most succinctly when, somehow, our fearless double-daters showed up at the same club as Audrina.

"It's like, who cares?" he said.

Indeed.

Brody, for one, wasn't caring a bit â€" he'd cornered Lauren and was plowing straight through his list of painfully sincere lines.

"I like you," he said. "I want to hang out with you."

Suddenly, Heidi was saying, "Where'd Lauren and Brody go" and we're taken to Brody's sweet condo. And what was he saying? What else?

"There is nowhere else I wanna be right now," he said, going in for the kiss.

To Lauren's credit, she did the smart-girl thing and called him out.

"You're a cheeseball," she replied, but did add, "I love seeing you smile."

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Maybe Lauren Conrad will be driving along and get pulled over by the cops, taken to court, convicted and sent to driving school on tonight's all-new episode of The Hills.

The reality TV star was spotted at Hyde Sunday night, climbing onto ex-beau and current Hills co-star Brody Jenner... and into the front seat of a friend's hot new Rolls Royce.

Conrad Pic

The couple and friends rolled away, with LC riding shotgun sans seat belt on her boy Brody's lap. It's a maneuver that makes us fondly recall a young Sean Preston on the lap of clueless mama Britney Spears.

As they crammed the car full of castmates and friends, one even suggested that the gang "ghost ride the whip," a stunt even more ill-advised than Conrad's aversion to seat belts or putting one's member in that diseased tramp Paris Hilton.

You can check out the video of this nonsense at TMZ.

Oh, and did we mention that LC, Heidi Montag and the rest of The Hills gang are back on the air tonight? Because they are, at 10 p.m.

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Come on, Heidi Montag.

We fully expected that we'd be yelling at the TV Monday night. Don't get us wrong on that. But we expected that the subject of our ire would be Spencer the boyfriend, not his lovely lady. But after watching last night's episode of The Hills, we are sorry to say we actually feel some sympathy for him.

Whoa! Never Saw That Coming!

After last week's pregnancy scare turned out to be a false alarm, Heidi's first response was to call Spencer and lead him on to think she was knocked up.

"I took a pregnancy test, and...

[wait for it... waaaaaaait for it]

... I'm not pregnant."

It was gratifying to see that smug smile momentarily wiped off Spencer's face, but he didn't deserve to get f*%ked with like that. He regained his footing fast, though, lying about Audrina and telling Heidi he would be testing her from now on. True to his word, next time we saw him he was asking Audrina out on a date.

The following morning, Heidi explained her motivation to Lauren, who, bless her little heart, rolled her eyes through the entire conversation:

"If he was gonna react wrongly, then I wouldn't want to be with him," Heidi said.

"I don't think there's a right way to react to that, though," replied a suddenly sage Lauren Conrad bluntly.

The rest of the episode was about Lauren, who was sent her off to work at a fashion show by swimsuit designer Ashley Paige. As soon as Lauren arrived at Ashley's, she was set upon by the flustered designer and a series of underworked assistants and interns who began ordering her to do stuff they could just as easily have done themselves.

Like answer the phone. The Hills is supposed to remind you of The O.C., not Punk'd, but based on Lauren's exchange with Ashley, you might be confused.

In the episode's third story line, Heidi set up Lauren to go on a date with Brody Jenner. Yes, that Brody Jenner.

According to Heidi, he is like, Spencer's best friend. Yeah, this show isn't staged or anything.

Regardless, Lauren wasn't having it at first, telling her that any man who used to be with Kristin Cavallari is off limits to her:

"Heidi," LC sighed. "He's been touched by Kristin. He's, like, tainted."

Oh. Snap. She. Went. There.

Sadly, it turns out, Brody seems to have somehow been tainted by another former Laguna Beach star: Jason. Ouch. Watching Lauren and Brody struggle through their dinner and fail miserably at first-date banter and then sit there mutely and smile at each other was a painful flashback to Jason Wahler.

Really, we thought Brody had more in him than this crap. No wonder Nicole Richie wasn't that into him either. And that's saying something.

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Special thanks to Kate S., a devoted Hollywood Gossip reader from the great state of Michigan, for suggesting the newest edition to our ever-evolving collection of Celebrity Look-Alikes.

We have to agree with her on this one. They might not be confused for one another at a party (like, say, that jackass Johnny Knoxville and Josh Duhamel), but a resemblance certainly exists between this pair of blonde beauties:

Lauren Conrad and Kyle Howard Picture

On the left, that's actress Christine Taylor, wife of Ben Stiller - and a funny actress in her own right, as movies such as Zoolander have shown. Next to her is Lauren Conrad, who we got to know on Laguna Beach, and who has gone on to star in her own reality spin-off, The Hills, which is now in its second season on MTV.

Got a pair of look-alikes (funny or serious) that you'd like to see featured on The Hollywood Gossip? E-MAIL US and let us know. Our standards are really low!

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Lauren Conrad, Laguna Beach alumna and star of MTV's The Hills, is featured by People Magazine in a photo special previewing her reality show's second season - which starts tonight! Here are the exclusive photos and the details she dished:

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag at Area

Lauren, 20, and roomie Heidi Montag, also 20, sit down to lunch at Mauro's Café at Fred Segal. Conrad, who's been going out "most nights" (her fave club: Les Deux) since ending her tumultuous romance with Jason Wahler and a brief fling with Brody Jenner, says of Wahler, "I've tried several times to be like 'let's just be cool and be friends'... But then I'll see him somewhere and he'll just be rude to me." Ass.

At Ron Herman, Conrad pulls several dresses to try on for her appearance later on Jimmy Kimmel Live to promote the new season of The Hills. "Whatever catches my eye," Conrad says of her shopping strategy.

Lauren Conrad tries on several gowns, including a $528 Yigal Azrouel blue halter frock ("It's a great color, but don't you think it looks like a potato sack?"), but ultimately settles on a black Jill Stuart cocktail dress. "I love the frilliness of this," she says as she takes a twirl. Later, Conrad looks poised as she and Heidi Montag arrive backstage at the Kimmel show.

At her apartment, Conrad gets makeup for her guest spot on the ABC late-night show. "I normally do my own hair and makeup," says Conrad, who despite being admittedly bad at dating, says she isn't what you'd call a drama queen. "I'm not a diva."

During her interview with Kimmel, Conrad tackles questions about the new season, her rival Kristin Cavallari ("Everywhere I go, people ask me about her... I just don't understand it"), her tattoo (she's changing the J, for Jason, to an L) and the new season.

"It was really easy," the Laguna Beach alumna boasts after the show, before heading out with her parents to grab dinner. Good luck this season, Lauren. Good luck.

Lauren Conrad Biography

Lauren Conrad and New Boyfriend? A Laguna Beach alumna, the gorgeous Lauren Conrad has gone on to be the star of its spin-off series, The Hills. Back in her high school... More »
Born
Birthplace
Laguna Beach, California
Full Name
Lauren Katherine Conrad

Lauren Conrad Quotes

Someone with a great sense of humor is the most important thing, and someone who really supports me in everything I do... I don’t ever want to make an excuse for trying to work hard and having my own life. I love a guy that supports that and loves that.

Lauren Conrad [on men]

I don’t feel girly without long hair! There is something so sexy about having long blonde hair. It’s so feminine.

Lauren Conrad
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