by Free Britney at . Comments

We don't know what's more unfortunate, that this Max guy was set up with Stephanie Pratt, or that The Hills is coming out with Stephanie Pratt story lines now.

No disrespect to Stephanie Pratt, but ... Stephanie Pratt? Last night's The Hills, "A New Bird," focused largely on Spencer's sister. He was nowhere to be found.

While a reprieve from Spencer Pratt can be a nice thing, let's be honest, if there's anything interesting about The Hills anymore, it's watching Speidi meltdowns.

What we're left with in the wake of their odd, unexplained absence is a whole lot of filler. Here's The Hollywood Gossip's official Hills rundown, plus-minus style:

Brody tells Kristin he may go on a date with a girl. Kristin isn't seeing anyone else. Ah, friends with benefits at its best. Someone's always let down. Plus 15.

Audrina invites Ryan out with her friends, and after some hesitation, he agrees. Too bad we already know Audrina Patridge and Ryan Cabrera split. Minus 8.


Brody Jenner puts the moves on new chick McKaela.

Brody's new girl McKaela is new to L.A. and is looking for "genuine friends." LOL. Plus 7 for the inevitable letdown that will result from taking that quest to The Hills.

Stephanie says she feels like her life is finally coming together and she's ready for a relationship and blah blah blah. Does anyone care at all? Minus 9. Because no.

Lo sets her up on a "blind" date. As in the producers of The Hills throwing darts at a wall full of dudes' audition photos while blindfolded? That we could buy. Plus 3.

Charlie gives Brody tips on hooking up and staying single during a golf outing. Charlie. Always so calm and wise. Plus 5 for the increased screen time for this sage.

Audrina also gives Stephanie some dating pointers. Minus 10, 'cause this is not the person you want pointers from, unless your top priority is being walked all over.


Dating Rule #1: No pouting. Rule #2: Tone down the makeup.

Brody Jenner introduces McKaela to his friends and flirts with her in front of Kristin Cavallari. What a passive-aggressive move. But hey, they're not dating, so Plus 8.

Lo helps Stephanie get ready for the big night. We keep expecting some big cat fight to liven it up a bit, but no, it really is just that boring. Minus 3, because really?

Kristin, like, can't believe the next day that Brody did that with McKaela. Stacie reminds her they knew this wouldn't end well. She's like the female Charlie. Plus 4.

Stephanie quizzes Max on basic dating questions. "What's your sign?" Really? This is what The Hills has devolved into? This is just coma-inducing stuff. Minus 27.

TOTAL: -15. SEASON: +40. Yeah. It's looking more and more like this show can't sustain whatever magic it once had, and needs to step it up or go away pronto.

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Spencer Pratt is out of control. We've known this for some time at THG, but now it has gotten to the point where even his friends and family see he is losing it.

Last night's episode of The Hills, "This is Goodbye," focused on Heidi's husband's deteriorating mental health, as well as Brody and Kristin's renewed romance.

Here's The Hollywood Gossip's official Hills rundown, plus-minus style:

Holly and Stephanie lament being the only sane ones left in their families. Never mind that both of them have serious, well-publicized drinking issues. Plus 9.

After Holly rehashes how Spencer called the cops on Heidi's mom, Steph says Speidi has no friends. Charlie is rolling in his grave as we speak. Minus 4.

Heidi and Kristin are friends? Were they always? Hard to keep track. Plus 3.

Spencer looks like he needs a hug.

"Who am I without Spencer?" Heidi ponders. Hmm. Probably a reasonably cute, harmless, not brainwashed chick with friends and real-looking breasts. Minus 37.

Audrina Patridge visits her boyfriend Ryan Cabrera at the studio. He's apparently still under contract? Minus 2. But Plus 8 for his decision to skip that night's drama.

Venturing out of his hole for once, Spencer calls Audrina the "lamest girl in the club" which sparks an argument between himself and Brody. Like old times. Plus 5.

Heidi Montag has a threefold excuse for Spencer: 1. He has stuff on his mind (Minus 3). 2. All guys are controlling (Minus 6). 3. She changed herself (Minus 12).

Most awkward clubbing moments ever: Heidi Montag shows her crystals collection to Kristin as Spencer says Heidi doesn't watch TV or use the computer. Plus 20.

OMG, Brody and Kristin are, like, so meant to be ... but single!

Holly and Stephanie say they are done with Heidi and Spencer, while Kristin Cavallari and Brody Jenner get down on the floor and eventually leave together. Plus 9.

The next day, Kristin says what they have going is good, whatever it is. Brody says he likes being single, and Kristin does too. Holla at friends with benefits! Plus 18.

Obligatory Lo scene! Steph says that she is flipping between being angry and sad over Heidi and Spencer. Blah, blah, blah. Stephanie and Lo are so boring. Minus 7.

The girls all are told by MTV agree to completely cut off Mr. and Mrs. Spencer Pratt. No communication at all. Plus 5 for effort, but we give it about half an episode.

TOTAL: +4. SEASON: +55. Basically, it was an episode in which everyone agrees Speidi is insane, and Brody macked on Kristin. Boilerplate stuff, but we'll take it.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The second episode of The Hills' final season focused on nasty rumors and the b!tch who started them. Yes, we know that applies to pretty much every episode.

Lauren Conrad's non-sex tape and Speidi's involvement in spreading that story took up multiple seasons. Is Kristin Cavallari's "drug problem" the new version?

Last night's episode, "Rumor Has It," found her singling out Stephanie as the rumor culprit. Below, THG breaks down the action using our patented +/- scale:

Kristin on Stephanie Pratt and why she'd start rumors: "Because she's crazy, she's a pathological liar, she has nothing going on in her life." All true. Plus 15.

Stacie the Bartender is still around. Does Kristin not have any girlfriends the network didn't create for her? Is Stacie the Bartender her full name? Minus 4.

Brody Jenner: "[Steph] made up these rumors because she is a crazy person. With her past drug addiction, maybe she's mirroring herself." Deep. Plus 7.

Cocaine. It's what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Stephanie and Lo read about Kristin's drug use from gossip tabloids and thus think "she is definitely doing drugs," which is hilarious on many levels. Minus 3.

Kristin throws a party to "get to the bottom of this." Or because MTV told her too. Plus 2, because amazingly, the whole cast will be there, including Speidi!

Minus 9 for the lines fed to Brody about Ryan Cabrera and the fake conflict over Audrina. Metrosexual cracks are cliched, and why the eff would Brody care?

LOL, Ryan does look kind of d-bag-ish, however, so Plus 3.

Heidi Montag is, like, excited to debut her new body. Her fam didn't love her new look, but friends think she looks great. Psst ... they're getting paid. Plus 7.

What is Lo even doing on the show at this point? Minus 4.

Stephanie starts to make small talk with Spencer Pratt, but gets so choked up and starts to cry. Spencer berates her. How awesomely dysfunctional. Plus 5.

Comment rendered unnecessary.

Dismayed by family issues, Spencer is carrying around crystals to channel his anger and bring life "peace and balance." What a ridiculous human being. Plus 12.

Kristin says she really doesn't want to be friends with Stephanie because she just likes to create drama. That and 100 other reasons make sense to us. Plus 3.

Nice to see Charlie adopting the Justin-Bobby look. Minus 6.

What's more fake, any dialogue featuring Stephanie and Kristin or Heidi Montag's ginormous, hilarious fake boobs? No points, just throwing that out there.

TOTAL: +30. SEASON: +40. This was The Hills at its best and worst, all at the same time. So much contrived, but entertaining nonsense to go around.

Click to enlarge more pics from the episode ...

by Free Britney at . Comments

If you love The Hills, last night's premiere (Season 6, Episode 1) was a doozy. If you're so over The Hills by now, this episode is probably a classic example of why.

"Put on a Happy Face" featured Heidi Montag's family trying to do just that ... staring at her face and the rest of her body after 139 unnecessary plastic surgeries.

The Hills final season debut should have come with a "Warning: Disturbing Images" disclaimer. Below, THG breaks down the action using our patented +/- scale:

They should show a close-up shot of Heidi Montag's fake boobs in their hilarious glory as The Hills title card. Although those things are more like a mountain range.

Is it just us or are all of these chicks skinnier, meaner and more annoying than ever? Did MTV unveil new protocol for these mean girl anorexic fembots? Minus 9.

Lo is a full-time cast member at last! Plus 4!

Kristin Cavallari can't believe she's accused of drug use ... despite staying out until 8 a.m. and looking like a stick figure. Minus 5. Where would they get that idea?

Welcome 2 the Freak Show

A face only a mother could love... and even she has a hard time.

Let's run down Heidi Montag's plastic surgery in her own words: "I got a slight eyebrow lift and that's why I got these staples in my head. I had my nose redone, I had my own fat injected into my cheeks. I had my ears pinned back. I had injections into my lips. I had my chin shaved down. I had my breast redone, and my back shaped... and I had a little bit of inner and outer lipo." No points, we just had to.

Heidi's mother Darlene reacts honestly to her daughter's absurd plastic surgeries, asking "why [she] would want to look like Barbie?" Our thoughts exactly. Plus 18.

After Heidi Montag prods further, Darlene says looked "younger and fresher-looking" before. Minus 6, 'cause Heidi would so cry if her face weren't frozen in place.

Kristin is, like, mad that Brody Jenner is flirting with Audrina Patridge. We love Brody, but why keep recycling the same three guys as fake love interests? Minus 7.

Lame Shades

Hard partying Kristin denies she's got a problem.

Wearing sunglasses indoors doesn't make you look cool, Kristin. Minus 4.

Nice of Stephanie to make it out of rehab in time for filming. Plus 3.

Heidi tells her fam they "live in the mountains and wouldn't understand." LOL, as if Crested Butte, Colo., were some backwards, classless, hillbilly dump. Plus 11.

This isn't related, but Spencer Pratt is reportedly on the outs with the show after he refused to start a physical fight with Holly Montag. Yes, Spencer Pratt. Plus 5.

TOTAL: +10. The "reality" of The Hills is always debated, but it more or less on display last night, and we know this because we cover the cast's actual lives daily.

We much prefer episodes like this, whatever the annoyances, to absurd, contrived plot lines such as Speidi's baby argument or Kristin and Justin Bobby "dating."

Click to enlarge more pics from the episode ...

  • Staged Intervention
  • Stacie n' Kristin
  • Hills Girl Talk
  • Oh, K-Cav
  • Brody Macks Audrina
  • A Montag Moment
  • A Confrontation
  • Heidi's Mom is Pissed

by Free Britney at . Comments

On The Hills this week, Heidi worried about how Spencer doesn't want kids, while tension escalated between Jayde Nicole and Kristin Cavallari over Brody Jenner.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip editors look back at the major developments on Tuesday's episode of The Hills, awarding and deducting points as we see fit ...

Heidi Montag From the Side

Brody on Kristin's plan to meet Jayde Nicole: "You're out of your mind! She just tried to kill you." Plus 5, because that's literally true, but he says it so nonchalantly.

Heidi Montag's therapist tries to tell her that pulling the goalie on Spencer Pratt isn't the most sound idea. Minus 4 because Heidi needed a therapist to tell her this.

Brody's bro Taylor tells him he's more fun when he's around Kristin than he is around Jayde. Plus 3, because the lack of violent altercations does go a long way.

As if Kristin's actions weren't 100 percent scripted, Jayde rips her for being "in town for a month" and says she needs to "go back where she came from." Minus 6.

Kristin to Jayde: "Well, then you might want to keep his leash a little tighter, Jayde." Seconds later: "You're, like, such a bitch, Jayde." Burn and burn! Plus 7.

Brody Jenner ex-girlfriends Jayde Nicole and Kristin Cavallari square off.

Fake friendship/lunch date alert x2: Lo-Kristin and Audrina-Heidi! Minus 4.

Heidi outlines her plan to stop taking her birth control to Audrina, whose enormous forehead expands to even more epic proportions at this lunacy. Plus 3.

Man, Jayde is really unstable. So much so that Brody Jenner says he'll "jump off a building" if he has to argue with her one more time. Good sign. Minus 2.

Despite the fact that she appears more bipolar by the second, Brody decides he wants to stay with Jayde! Plus 6 for something we actually didn't see coming.

Kristin laments that she's always caught in the middle - first Audrina and Justin, now Brody and Jayde, when she's doing it all on freaking purpose! Minus 9.

Even Justin-Bobby's voicemail is garbled and undecipherable. Plus 2.

Umm, was that an actual normal dinner conversation and married couple moment from Speidi? Even, because we're too shocked to rate it one way or the other.

TOTAL: +1! SEASON TOTAL: +78! Mixed reviews this week, because the Speidi plot is getting old, and a meddling Kristin Cavallari can't expect us to care about her hurt feelings, even if Jayde is certifiably insane. Speaking of ...

Whose side are you on?

 

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It's Lo Bosworth and Lauren Conrad, co-stars on Laguna Beach and The Hills, and toes besties forever and ever, in a Friday the 13th style showdown!

There's nothing freaky about their fashion - although it is freaking awesome - it just happens to be Friday the 13th today. Anyway, who looks better?

Kylie Jenner Fashion

As you can see, the ladies were all smiles - and sparkles - at the Maxim launch of the Ubisoft video game Assassin's Creed II, held at Voyeur nightclub.

Which gal's fashion sense do you prefer? Can Lo Bosworth hang with her rival in the style department? or will she say LC-ya later? Vote in our survey!

Who looked better, Lo or LC?

 

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The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest yielded plenty of good entries yesterday.

Our readers didn't disappoint with dozens of potential captions for this photo of The Hills' Lo Bosworth and Audrina Patridge. Your winner is TheGenePool.

Audrina Patridge, Corey Bohan Photo

Congratulations on a job well done! The winning entry appears below the photo, and you can click here to read the full list of submissions sent in to us.

Honorable mentions go out to Hellion and SpaceAceMoonBoots. Thanks to everybody for their efforts and best of luck in our next Caption Contest!

It's such a beautiful thing when friends get together and share a neuron.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Welcome to another edition of The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, where readers try to write the funniest caption for the celebrity photo posted below!

The rules are simple. Look at the image. Click comments and send in your caption(s). As many as you like. Have fun. Tomorrow, we'll announce a winner.

Call Security

It's that easy. This week's subjects? Audrina Patridge and Lo Bosworth filming The Hills. Give it your best shot(s) for picture of the SoCal cuties below ...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Lo Bosworth and Lauren Conrad are like best friends for life. But rumors of the former starring in the movie adaptation of the latter's novel are a bit premature.

LC was quoted recently saying that not only has Lo taken acting classes, but that Lo was also her first pick for the flick version of her bestseller L.A. Candy.

L.A. Candy is adapted for film by the producers of the Twilight saga.

"It was more of a joke than anything," Lo explained recently to E!.

"[Lauren Conrad and I] were on the red carpet together and they were like, 'Who do you want to be in the movie?'" she said. "I would love a cameo, but I don't think I could handle a big role. I'm not an actress. A cameo would be really fun."

As for things that are no longer fun anymore? Try The Hills.

Lauren (Lo) B.

For Lo, The Hills is just a crappy 9-to-5. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

"For me, it's turned into more of a job," Lo Bosworth griped. "Before, it was a lot of fun. Now it's like a daily grind where before it was lighthearted and easy."

Reading those cue cards and pretending to care what Stephanie Pratt says can get tedious after awhile, it's true. Her future with the show is now up in the air.

"I haven't totally decided," Lo said of signing up for another season alongside Kristin Cavallari and Speidi. "I have some other projects that I'm working on."

In other Hills news, Kristin was in Las Vegas last night hosting at LAX nightclub after dinner at Company Kitchen and Pub House. No sign of Justin-Bobby.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Kristin Cavallari era of The Hills officially began last week and the season premiere was everything it was cracked up to be - for better or worse.

So what's to come on this evening's episode - and beyond?

Audrina, Heidi and Kristin Filming

According to Lo Bosworth, "There will be lots of fights."

We know you were on the edge of your seat. Breathe.

"I feel like it's going to be a really stressful season. I desperately miss having [Lauren Conrad] on the show. She's so calm, and she's my best friend. We still live together," continued Lo, echoing our sentiments exactly.

Lauren "Lo" Bosworth: The Hills' cutest non-factor.

As for the future of the show, Lo Bosworth says: "I think we're going to find out in a few weeks if we're getting picked up again, and I'm going to make my decision at that time [about whether to come back] myself."

"I have a few other shows I'm being pitched for as talent, for hosting. I'm really bad at reality shows, that's why I'm never the star. I think it's kind of silly."

Oh, come on Lo. The Hills? Silly? This is monumentally important, culturally significant stuff here. We can't wait to see Kristin and Justin-Bobby together.