by Mischalova at . Comments

Here's a result about as shocking as news of a Jason Wahler arrest:

Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's 7-month-old daughter, Dannielynn.

Dannielynn Birkhead

"I hate to be the one who told you this, but: I told you so," Birkhead told reporters outside the Bahamas courthouse. "I'm the father."

"Thank you for your support. Thank you for the people who got me this far," he said, choking up.

"Thank you very much. My baby's gonna be coming home pretty soon."

Asked about when he would take Dannielynn home, he said, "Things are moving quickly here, and we'll see what happens."

Reportedly, the deranged mother of Anna Nicole Smith - Virgie Arthur - is still fighting for custody and the group will be back in court on Friday.

Birkhead had submitted his own DNA for testing, while Dannielynn's was tested on March 21 following a recommendation by a Bahamas Supreme Court Judge. Howard K. Stern, Smith's companion who is named as Dannielynn's father on her birth certificate, did not undergo DNA testing.

But he was surprisingly supporting of Birkhead, saying: "I am obviously very disappointed ... I am not going to fight Larry Birkhead for custody. I will do everything I can to make sure he gets sole custody."

Good. Now that this business is behind us, we can go back to focusing on important topics such as what the heck is going on with Britney Spears' boobs.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

As you await DNA tests to determine whether or not you're the father of a very famous baby, who better to offer advice than the mother of Tori Spelling?

With that in mind, consider how fortunate Larry Birkhead must feel to have received the following letter from Candy Spelling. After months of pleadings and tragedies, the former lover of Anna Nicole Smith will finally be crowned the daddy of Dannielynn once the test results are announced tomorrow.

Not Bothered

In the meantime, TMZ has unearthed this surreal correspondence:

Dear Larry:
As the court appearance that will change your life approaches, I am stepping into my role as a celebrity-by-association to share some experiences with you.

1) The hair, Larry: Most of the time, your hair looks great, and I'm sure you spend a lot of time getting it right. Just be warned that you might look good every day for a month. But the one day you leave in a hurry and don't pay enough attention, or you get a little wild with an untested new style -- photos will be taken that will haunt you forever.

* The Hollywood Gossip note: Britney Spears can confirm this

2) Fans/autograph seekers: Hollywood lives in fear of being yesterday's celebrity and ending up with an autograph languishing on eBay for days with no bids. If people want many copies, if they don't want you to personalize it, and/or they ask for Anna Nicole's name as part of your signature, nicely decline. If you slip and do see your autograph on sale, have a good friend bid more than 99 cents to buy it.

3) The lawyers: You've already found out that you have turned from man to cash machine. Lawyers aren't the only ones who will see you that way, especially if you are Dannielynn's biological father. The good news is that someone who presents you with a bill for $620,492.84 must think you have a good case. The bad news is that you will need more lawyers to fight the legal bills. My advice: Negotiate in advance, and put in a clause against expenses for lawyers, spouses, meals or laundry.

I wish you success in court on Tuesday, but beware:

There's never enough preparation for "celebrity." I'll never get used to tour buses and cameras outside my house every day, reporters analyzing my grocery choices, and bloggers [like Perez Hilton] pretending to know more about my family than I do; but I do have a good life. Yours can be, too. Just remember that celebrity and/or money mean that nothing will ever be the same - and act accordingly.

All the best,
Candy Spelling

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by Mischalova at . Comments

The only issue that people are more focused on than the possibility of Britney Spears nude pictures is about to be settled:

A Bahamas Supreme Court judge has urged Howard K. Stern to submit Anna Nicole Smith's daughter to DNA testing to determine her father.

Larry Birkhead and Dannielynn

Justice Stephen Isaacs's directive Tuesday does not carry the force of an outright order, and Stern can still appeal, a high-ranking official who asked not to be identified tells People magazine.

But Stern's American-based lawyer, James Neavitt, said: "We will do whatever the court wants and he will comply with any orders."

He adds that Stern "is concerned about getting things over with and getting this behind him." And The Hollywood Gossip adds that he may be a murderer.

Smith's former boyfriend, Larry Birkhead, who claims to be IS the father of 6-month-old Dannielynn, said as he left the Nassau courtroom: "It was a good day for me."

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Now that Anna Nicole Smith is resting peacefully, it looks as though her daugher may finally do so in the arms of her real father.

After all, a smiling Larry Birkhead emerged from Los Angeles County Superior Court earlier today, where he asked a judge to make Howard K. Stern come to California and submit to DNA testing to determine exactly who Dannielynn Hope's papa truly is.

Larry and Dannielynn

Birkhead's lawyer, Debra Opri, said she was confident that Stern would be made to come to California, and she also said that Stern "can't hide behind a fake birth certificate" and that his "feet will be held to the fire."

Ron Rale, Stern's attorney, spoke just after Opri, and revealed that Stern, Birkhead, and South Carolina businessman Ford Shelley met privately in his hotel room (without him) but said that no deal resulted.

And Rale clarified that no deal has been made to exchange paternity for part of Dannielynn's future inheritance, saying that Birkhead isn't even named in the will.

Birkhead, for his part, said, "I'm just doing what I have to do for my daughter," and that for him, holding Dannielynn in the Bahamas "was like being in the delivery room."

In the end, Larry is obviously the father. This fact is more apparent to us than how popular Jason Wahler will be in the prison shower.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Larry Birkhead finally met his daughter this week.

To others, the five-month old is known as Dannielynn, but we all know that Birkhead is the real father of this adorable tyke.

Sliding for Attention

In their time together, Birkhead fed the baby, burped her â€" and she threw up on him, according to a interview and profile for Bravo TV, part of which was aired on the Today show Tuesday.

As for his memories of Anna Nicole Smith, the Los Angeles-based celebrity photographer says that he most cherished his private time with her.

"Every moment that we got together was kind of ... that's what everything's about. To me, it wasn't about the money. [Being with her] that was like gold to me, you know?" Birkhead says in the interview, which was taped before he met Dannielynn.

To Howard K. Stern, of course, actual gold is a lot more like gold.

When the Larry and Annae found out she was pregnant, he recalled: "She just had this different look about her. It was really weird, because her skin, everything looked different. Everything was weird. And as soon as she went to sleep, I took my hand and I went â€" you know, I kind of felt over and I just laid my hand there [on her stomach], because I just knew at that moment that she was pregnant."

Wow. Smart guy. Too bad people such as Kim Walther continue to make the permanent Birkhead/Dannielynn reunion difficult to achieve.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

While Howard K. Stern is working on an Oscar nomination for his ability to conjure up fake tears, the real baby's daddy is working on moving forward with his life.

Dannielynn and Dad

Larry Birkhead says he tried to save his former lover from the ravages of drug addiction, while also saying that seeing the ultrasound of his baby with Smith was "one of the happiest moments of my life."

But Birkhead won't say anything about his last meeting with Anna Nicole Smith - because it could "come back to haunt" him later.

In an interview with the New York Daily News, Birkhead claims that he tried to force Anna Nicole to kick her drug habits after she got pregnant with Dannielynn Hope, but that his efforts just got him "pushed to the side," and that he had no control over what she did after that.

Before that, however, Birkhead says that he and Anna Nicole shopped for baby clothes together and that Smith "made [him] sing to the baby at night."

Birkhead wouldn't talk about his last meeting with Anna Nicole. He did admit to crying when he saw the birth certificate with Howard K. Stern's name on it. Real tears, that is.

Probably similar to those of Britney Spears after reading this Isaac Cohen interview.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Larry Birkhead has spoken.

As one of the men claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern, Birkhead commented on larrybirkhead.net about his former lover:

Birkhead, on the Prowl

"Chance brought us together, our love couldn't keep us apart. We loved, we laughed, we shared a connection that couldn't be broken, regardless of the challenges. I loved her in life and I will love her long after...

Our daughter, Dannnielynn is a constant reminder of the love we shared and the life that we desired...

My heart is broken, my tears are endless.

She called me her angel, I called her my sweet potato, and every night before we went to sleep, she made me say to her...........'GOODNIGHT MY SWEET ANNA BABY'

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Why post on MySpace when you can go back and forth over Instant Messenger?

Indeed, TMZ has somehow obtained the online transcript of a recent exchange between insane person, Anna Nicole Smith, and her probable baby's daddy, Larry Birkhead.

Serious Pimp

We've posted it below, replete with spelling errors that make Courtney Love look like an English professor. Enjoy:

Anna Nicole: quit trash me at the casino
Larry: not at a casino
Anna Nicole: go f**k my mom to
Anna Nicole: Yall are sick
Larry: show up for the test with the baby\
Anna Nicole: don't think so
Anna Nicole: u wish
Larry: everybody just want u to do right thing is all
Anna Nicole: in your dreams

So many questions to consider from this Internet chat: Are their screen names really as boring as "Anna Nicole" and "Larry?" Will Smith's lawyers successfully block the court-mandated paternity test?

Will we ever see Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern pictures? Will the baby have to change her name once Birkhead is announced at the father?

Is Anna Nicole Smith nuttier than Janice Dickinson?

Some things we may never find out.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Larry Birkhead doesn't merely insist he's the father of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern.

He knows the exact date he impregnated her mother.

Time with Daughter, Photographer

The presumed daddy says he bedded former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith on New Year's Eve 2006, a little more than one year ago.

Perhaps Birkhead should've protected himself a little better when he did because such gross actions - have you seen Anna Nicole Smith pictures? - have led to a bitter paternity battle with the reality TV star, who claims the baby's father is actually her lawyer and companion Howard K. Stern.

"I've always maintained from day one I was Dannielynn's father. My little baby was actually conceived last New Year's Eve," Larry said.

Sort of makes you more grateful for how you spent this December 31, doesn't it? Especially if you're Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo.

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by Mischalova at . Comments


Thank goodness for the Internet. It allows us to provide fans with Hollywood gossip at all times.

It allows Travis Barker to react to a divorce party thrown by his ex-wife, Shanna Moakler.

Up Yours, Larry!

And now it's allowed Larry Birkhead, the probably father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, to speak out against his former lover and for his current child.

In a statement posted on Larrybirkhead.net, the disgruntled papa blasts the Anna Nicole: "I constantly wonder what kind of person would steal a child from another. I thought at first maybe because your brother was taken from your mom was the reason, but then I realized she started planning on keeping you from me all the way back in May."

Birkhead also talked directly to the infant Dannielynn, claiming he tried to go to Disneyland to cheer himself up, but the trip backfired.

"I couldn't help but thinking, after seeing all of the kids, what it would be like to take you there one day."

We hope justice falls your way, Larry. But a word of advice: if you do end up with custody of Dannielynn, do NOT buy her the Ali Lohan holiday album for Christmas.

We're just sayin.

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