by Free Britney at

OMG OMG OMG. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are getting married! We never would have guessed, but it's true, according to this reliable source!

** - Minus the true part, and reliable source part.

Determined to break news even when there is no actual news to be broken, Life & Style has scooped the dream Robsten wedding we've all pined for.

Only problem? It's not real. Minor details ...

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Are Getting Married!

According to the publication, despite the fact that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson last year, the duo is not only back on, but getting serious.

They're even discussing their wedding plans!!!

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by Hilton Hater at

They've been through an awful lot in the past few months, but they've come through it stronger than ever.

And now Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are getting married!!!

If you somehow believe the latest issue of OK! Weekly, that is.

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Wedding Rumor

A tabloid source claims the original plans for a Robsten wedding were delayed "for a short while" because both halves of the couple "were overwhelmed by all the hype and pressure surrounding their relationship."

But now?

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by Hilton Hater at

With a pretend baby on the way, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are reportedly planning the next logical step:

A big wedding!

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart OK! Cover

According to nonsense made up by OK! Weekly, the famous couple is set to make its relationship "permanent" and "legal."

“They’re split between doing it in England or somewhere totally remote and tropical," an insider alleges of a Robert/Kristen wedding.

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by Hilton Hater at

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are back together.

For Breaking Dawn Part 2 promotional purposes? Some believe so.

For parental purposes? One tabloid cover story claims so.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson: Expecting?

The latest issue of OK! Weekly hilariously claims that Robert and Kristen are officially a couple again and are also expecting a baby.

In fact, anonymous, totally NOT made up sources tell the magazine that the child will be raised in England and the stars are celebrating the news by constructing a "lavish nursery."

The only questions now remaining: What will Robsten names its child?

And does anyone out there actually believe this to be true?

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by Hilton Hater at

Consider yourself warned, Jennifer Garner.

With Kristen Stewart rumored to appear in an upcoming movie (Focus) alongside Ben Affleck, the latest issue of In Touch Weekly wonders if the actress will wreck yet another marriage.

After all, she nearly did so with Rupert Sanders and Liberty Ross.

Kristen Stewart: Home Wrecker?

"This has all the makings of a disaster,” an insider says tells the tabloid of Stewart's possible casting. “Kristen’s a vixen and has been warned by her team not to screw up again. But things happen.”

It's true, people. Things do happen.

Fortunately, Garner can take solace: Stewart and Robert Pattinson are back together. So even when Kristen clearly hooks up with Affleck, it doesn't mean that union has to end!

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by Hilton Hater at

Be careful, Robert Pattinson. A master manipulator now lives next door to you.

According to the latest issue of OK! Weekly, Kristen Stewart - who, by all accounts, is dating Pattinson again - is living a double life.

Nay, as this cover so explicitly states, a TWISTED double life!

Kristen Stewart OK! Cover

Stewart "tricked" Pattinson into this reunion, anonymous sources apparently tell the tabloid, adding that the actress has "other men" on the side and that Robert's friends have rallied around the cause:

"She won't get away with this!" they supposedly say.

Alas, we dare worry, fellow Twihards: What if she already has?!?

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by Hilton Hater at

Forget Carmen Sandiego. The real question these days is: Where in the world is Robert Pattinson?

Us Weekly, the tabloid which broke the story of Kristen Stewart cheating on the actor with Rupert Sanders, claims to have the unexpected answer: hiding out at Reese Witherspoon's vacation home.

Robert Pattinson Walks Out

Witherspoon (who knows something about being cheated on herself, thanks to Ryan Phillippe) and Pattinson co-starred in Water for Elephants and sources say she offered Rob her ranch in Ojai, California.

These same insiders have shot down a couple of other new rumors:

A U-Haul truck was NOT spotted outside the home Pattinson shares with Stewart and Pattinson never retreated to London to party with friends.

He's been in the U.S. this entire time, but friends say he's a "total mess" and is "questioning everything." While Stewart continues to call and text - "dying to save the relationship" according to those in the know - Pattinson truly "doesn't know what to do."

He'll have to decide quickly, unfortunately: promotion for Breaking Dawn Part 2 has already begun and he's expected to make media rounds in the fall.

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by Hilton Hater at

Typically, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are fighting off rumors about a baby or an engagement. The latter recently came out and said the couple isn't getting married any time soon.

But the Twilight Saga co-stars have a very different story to try and deny now: multiple outlets report Kristen cheated on Rob with Rupert Sanders, the director of Snow White and the Huntsman.

Robsten Scandal!

According to the latest issue of Us Weekly, Stewart and Sanders - who is married with two children - were actually caught in the act by photographers.

"It seemed like they couldn't get enough," a witness tells the tabloid of the make out session.

Why can't this be dismissed as just another ridiculous Robsten rumor? Because more respectable sources People and E! News have also confirmed the affair. The former says it was just a one-time fling.

"Kristen is absolutely devastated," an insider says to People. "It was a mistake and a complete lapse in judgment."

UPDATE: WHOA. Stewart has admitted to the affair and apologized for the incident.

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by Hilton Hater at

This just in: Kristen Stewart is absolutely, positively, 100% not pregnant.

Nor is she planning to adopt a child with Robert Pattinson.

Nevertheless, according to the latest issue of OK! Weekly, it's baby time, people!!!

The tabloid anonymously quotes no one of relevance and reports that the "new Twilight movie convinced [Robsten] not to wait," which is unexpected... considering Breaking Dawn Part 2 is centered around a half-human/half-vampire child who pretty much incites World War 3.

Robsten Baby Time!

Are you buying anything at all about this cover story? Has Rob actually penned a lullaby for the imaginary kid? Would Kristen be a natural mother?

And will Taylor Lautner be destined to fall in love with the baby?

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