by Hilton Hater at

Want an early look at Kim Kardashian's wedding to Kris Humphries? You won't get it in this week's issue of OK!.

Despite proclamations of a KARDSHIAN EXCLUSIVE and a headline that screams KIM'S DREAM WEDDING, juxtaposed over what appears to be a wedding portrait, the following anonymous quote is the extent of this tabloid's in-depth coverage on this imaginary story:

"Kim falls fast and hard, and this time is no exception. Kris makes her laugh, gives her confidence, makes her smile... Plus, with Kris, things are different. He knew what he was getting himself into, and he says that Kim is everything he expected and more.”

Kim Getting Married?!?

We can only imagine what Kris expected. An empty personality, a giant set of breasts and the world's best marketing team?

Expect these two to get engaged about the same time that Kim's single earns a Grammy nomination.

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by Hilton Hater at

Scott Disick, he is not.

According to Bruce Jenner, Kim Kardashian has found someone who fits in well with the family. Asked about Kris Humphries at Friday's BBVA Celebrity All Star Game, Jenner told Us Weekly:

"He's a very nice guy. He's been over the house. It's very different for Kim."

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

How different? A friend of Kim's claims she wants to squeeze out a little Kris ASAP.

"Kim really wants to have Kris' baby, and she's told him multiple times," the insider said, echoing a Tweet Kardashian sent out a couple weeks ago that showed a photo of Humphries and read: "I want my son to look like this."

Adds the source: "Her nickname for Kris is 'The Roman' since he's so statuesque. Maybe that's why she wants to have his babies!"

No way. Would Kim Kardashian really be so shallow?!?

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by Hilton Hater at

Kim Kardashian starred in her biggest national commercial last night, during Super Bowl XLV no less.

But the evening prior to the game was just as exciting for this professional celebrity, if her relationship with Kris Humphries is to be believed as anything more than a PR stunt.

Kim dined with the Nets power forward and his family at STK in New York City, helping to celebrate Humphries' 26th birthday. She even picked up the $900 for the meal and left a generous tip, witnesses say.

Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian

"Yummy dinner with yummy people!" Kim Tweeted on Saturday night.

Sources claim the couple exited the restaurant and ran into a homeless man looking for a handout from Humphries. But he had to let the guy down, he said, because "the lady paid for dinner, I don't even have a wallet."

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by Hilton Hater at

How serious are things getting between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries? The couple is shopping for high-end video equipment together.

Just kidding.

But insiders do tell E! News that Kim is "moving permanently" to New York City "to be closer to Kris," who is hunting for a new apartment in preparation for his basketball team's move to Brooklyn in two years.

We're very sorry, NYC.

Sources claim Kardashian and Humphries were checking out a high-rise in Chelsea yesterday morning.

"He wants to live with Kim," a friend says of the Nets' power forward.

And why shouldn't he? With Kim in his life, Humphries is averaging career highs in points and rebounds this season. Also, she has very large breasts.

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by Hilton Hater at

When Kourtney & Kim Take New York premieres on January 23, viewers won't see Kim Kardashian snuggling up to new boyfriend Kris Humphries. How come?

"I met him towards the end of filming the show," Kim tells People, speaking out for the first time about the Nets power forward and adding: "I'm having a lot of fun [with him]."

Kim and Booty

Kris Humphries has received high-fives this year for his play on the court and his action in the bedroom.

Before meeting Humphries, of course, Kardashian dated around. And viewers will see what that means on the upcoming spin-off.

"I'm showing a lot of my dating life, which I've never really done before," she says. "I mean you've seen bits and pieces of my relationships before, but you've never really seen me being single and doing whatever I want to do."

Trust us, Kim, we've seen you in every possible situation. Ray J made sure of that.

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by Hilton Hater at

Things are getting serious between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.

The large-breasted reality star began dating the New Jersey Nets power forward in early November, but things have quickly progressed and she took the next step with Humphries over the weekend: a sex tape meeting with his family!

Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian

As Tweeted above, Kim attended the January 1 game between the Nets and Minnesota Timberwolves with pal Brittny Gastineau.

Following the contest, Kardashian joined Kris, his parents and his sister Kaela for dinner at the Grand Hotel. Said a source to E! News:

Continue Reading...

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by Hilton Hater at

Lala Vazquez is nothing but supportive of good friend Kim Kardashian. To an almost laughable extent.

Asked by E! News about her pal's rumored new boy toy, New Jersey Nets power forward Kris Humphries, Vasquez - who is married to pro basketball star Carmelo Anthony - said:

"All the NBA guys are good guys and my friends. I just want my friend to be happy, whoever it is."

That sentiment is sweet, but her next comment regarding Kim is closer to delusional.

Vasquez says she's "very impressed with [Kim's] voice" and actually looking forward to an album from this talentless reality star.

Continue Reading...

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by Hilton Hater at

Kris Humphries is an NBA journeyman who has played for four teams in his career.

Kim Kardashian is a dating journeywoman who has gone to bed with... more than four men in her romantic career.

Together, this pair comprised a table at the famous New York City eatery NOBU last night. No other details are available at the moment, but Humphries' first name, combined with his profession, make him a viable companion for Kim. Still, there's something about him that seems different than other boyfriends she's gone for.

We can't quite put our finger on it. Can you?

  • NYC Shopper
  • Kris Humphries

Kris Humphries is averaging 4.3 points per game this year. Kim Kardashian is averaging nearly that many nude pictorials.

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