by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Yes, they still do.

On an episode of Ellen that airs today - check our local listings! - Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries renew their nearly two-month old wedding vows.

A Pretend Wedding

We'd typically make endless fun of such a ridiculous cry for more attention, but DeGeneres officiated this pretend ceremony and cracked us up when she advised Kim to repeat after her:

“I take Kris to be my husband and co-star, to love and honor you to always put you first - or at least above Khloe, but below Kourtney!”

Of course, Kim then had to go ahead and ruin everything by being a total liar once again. Asked what she'd change about her and her man's big day, Kardashian said she'd "elope." Right. Does ANYone believe that? We have about $17 million reasons not to.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The most annoying celebrity on the planet is late, folks. For her next red carpet appearance? No.

“She was supposed to get her period and didn’t," a source close to Kim Kardashian (VERY close to Kim Kardashian, apparently) tells OK! Weekly.

Baby Time for Kim?

Of course, nowhere on this cover does it actually say Kim is pregnant, just that it's "baby time," a child is "on the way" and that the reality star is "showing already." If Kardashian were actually knocked up, the Internet would have exploded hours ago.

“Kim always thought she’d have several kids by age 30, so in her mind she’s behind schedule," an insider tells the tabloid. “Kim’s been going through all the K names. She even has a baby-name book and looks up the meaning of each one.”

Considering the family into which this kid will be born, permit us a suggestion: klusterfuck. Kim, you can call us for the meaning of that one.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Being Mr. Kim Kardashian cannot be easy. Still, Kris Humphries had to know what he was getting into, right? Maybe not, if dueling tabloids are to be believed.

Sources say the baller hasn't exactly won over Kim's tight-knit family.

That's putting it midly. Dude reportedly ripped Kourtney Kardashian for being "slave" to son Mason, roughhouses Kim so hard that her sisters call him "this weird, big clumsy oaf" and "was being a dick" through much of their courtship.

  • Already Miserable
  • Defending Their Love

Married only one month, Kim is already forced to defend her love. Or just miserable, depending on which totally accurate supermarket gossip rag you pick up.

All of those quotes are courtesy of Us Weekly. Star, meanwhile, suggests that Kim isn't a big fan of Kris lately either, "fighting bitterly" with her new spouse.

Two major points of contention:

  1. Their life is completely, comically staged.
  2. Kris noticed.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Hmm ... which of these things is not like the other?

Scott Disick is neither married, nor tall, nor ripped, nor successful in his craft (he has none that we know of). But he did put a baby in one of the Kardashian sisters, so he earned his place alongside NBA stars Lamar Odom and Kris Humphries just the same.

With Kourtney, Khloe and Kim all committed to their men for the long haul, who do you think landed the best catch? Put another way, who'd you rather ... you know?

Cast your vote in this CRITICAL poll question below ...

And the Winner is?

Who's hotter, Scott Disick, Lamar Odom or Kris Humphries? They're different, that's for sure. Vote for your favorite Mr. Kardashian hunk in our poll! View Poll »

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Despite the holiday weekend, and despite the fact that the episodes focused on an event from months ago, the two-part season finale of Keeping Up with the Kardashians drew record ratings on Sunday and Monday nights.

Approximately 3.5 million viewers tuned each evening to watch Kris Humphries propose to Kim Kardashian... even thought WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT SHE SAID AND EVEN THOUGH EVERY MOMENT ON THIS PROGRAM IS 100% SCRIPTED. SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE, IT'S NOT REAL! KIM DOESN'T EVEN UPDATE HER OWN FACEBOOK OR SEND HER OWN TWEETS!

Sorry. Something must have happened to our keyboard there.

Anyway... a seventh season of this utter nonsense is all but guaranteed, though fans (who are you? Show yourselves!) need not wait until next summer to see Kim and Kris again: they are currently filming season two of Kourtney and Kim Take New York.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

OMG, people. OMG!

On the two-part season finale of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kris Humphries first asked for the blessing of Bruce Jenner... and then he got down on one knee and proposed to Kim Kardashian! She said yes, but the episode concluded with Khloe quizzing Kris over his intentions.

Will he go through with the wedding? What a cliffhanger! Check out two clips from the finale now and sound off: Do you think Kris and Kim will get married in any kind of insulting, lavish, ridiculous ceremony that earns the couple more money than Kris makes in a year playing professional basketball?

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Mr. and Mrs. Kim Kardashian have arrived in New York City after a brief European mini-honeymoon this week, smiling all the way to the bank/hotel.

Kim also hit up Sunday's VMAs solo.

While his new bride did whatever it is she does in L.A., Kris Humphries was in Minnesota, packing for NYC for the next couple of months.

Why the relocation to the Big Apple?

Kim Kardashian, Husband 

Humphries used to ball for the nearby New Jersey Nets, but there's currently no NBA season and he's a free agent anyway. More importantly, the breadwinner of the marriage needs to film Season 2 of Kourtney and Kim Take New York.

Tomorrow, Niche Media founder Jason Binn and wedding planner Colin Cowie are throwing Mr. and Mrs. Kardashian a post-wedding, welcome bash.

Hey, they haven't celebrated their relationship in a public venue surrounded by cameras in a matter of days. We were starting to get scared ...

[Photo: WENN.com]

by Free Britney at . Comments
THG Asks!

Welcome to THG Asks, a fun feature in which two of our celebrity gossip experts debate topical issues in the entertainment world and you decide who wrote the winning argument!

Today, THG Asks: Will Kim Kardashian's marriage last?

YES by Free Britney

Kim Kardashian's wedding was scripted nonsense. We know this.

That is merely who Kim Kardashian is, though: A bland, better-than-average looking chick makes a living from her celeb status despite being expressionless as drywall and devoid of talent.

Nowhere in that job description does she have to be incapable of love.

I'll be the first to ridicule Kim's shameless attempt to kash in on anything. When I read that Kris Humphries' family was appalled at the spectacle of the wedding, I wasn't the least but surprised. But that's precisely why it WILL last.

No one would marry Kim Kardashian for her fame (and become a joke in the process). He's got his own money (and she's got a prenup). He's in it for the only reason anybody could possibly put up with this 24/7/365 charade: Kim's heart.

Congrats. Bring on the sex tape.

Kim Kardashian Wedding Pic

A moment Kim and Kris will never forget ... thanks to E!

NO CHANCE by Hilton Hater

There's no way Kim Kardashian's marriage to Kris Humphries will last. Here's why:

The power forward is a free agent. Coming off a career season, it's unlikely New Jersey (his previous employer) will match his contract demands.

Neither will any other team in a major market.

The Los Angeles Lakers have plenty of size; the Knicks are keeping their salary cap options open for Chris Paul or Dwight Howard; Miami is enough of a circus without employing Humphries in the same city that is now also home to Reggie Bush; Blake Griffin plays the same position for the Clippers.

I foresee Humphries going someplace like Houston, or maybe Utah. And, come on, you can't honestly say Kim Kardashian will stay with a man who lives outside an entertainment news hot spot. It's unlikely Star Magazine could even find Salt Lake City on a map.

Indeed, at some point, the NBA lockout will end and, with it, so will this farce of a marriage. And we all know what that means: a divorce special on E!

THG Asks you ... will it last?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

While fans and critics debate the beauty of her wedding dress in the States, Kim Kardashian has jetted off to Europe with new husband Kris Humphries.

Multiple sources confirm that the newlyweds landed in Paris this week and then headed to Italy, where a limousine was waiting in Naples to take the couple to a cruise ship. They're expected to hit the waters of the Mediterranean for a week, with stops in towns such as towns of Amalfi and Positano.

Kris and Kim at LAX

With a break from this painful pairing in America, citizens are left to debate topics from their wedding that include:

  • Does our culture need to reassess its values?
  • Why is Kim Kardashian famous again?
  • What K-name will be given to their first child?
  • How awesome is Ray J?!?

[Photo: WENN.com]

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Sorry, Kris Jenner. But your ridiculous bow - seen in the video below - was actually NOT the most absurd aspect of your daughter's wedding on Saturday.

Instead, that honor falls to the vows uttered by Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. For richer or for poorer? We somehow doubt these two will need to worry about such a dilemma.

Kim and Kris earned over $17 million from the ceremony and reception, and that's without considering all the free items bestowed upon the couple. Try to keep your lunch own and read through the following list. Kardashian and Humphries either pocketed or received...

  • $15 million for the upcoming wedding special on E!.
  • $2.5 million for exclusive photos with People Magazine.
  • $300,000 for the exclusive engagement announcement with People.
  • $100,000 for exclusive rights to the bridal shower for Britain’s OK! Weekly.
  • $50,000 to have the bachelorette party at Tao in Las Vegas.
  • $15,000 to $20,000 for Hansen’s Bakery wedding cake.
  • $20,000 Vera Wang wedding dress and fittings.
  • $40,000 for two more Vera Wang evening dresses, worn during the reception.
  • $400,000 in Perrier Jouet champagne.
  • $150,000 in hair and makeup for photo shoots videos.
  • $10,000 in Lehr & Black wedding invitations.
  • Major discounts on the $2 million 20.5-carat engagement ring and $1 million wedding bands by jeweler Lorraine Schwartz.

It's true what they say: money cannot buy you happiness. But phony love can buy you money.

Kris Humphries Biography

Kim K. and Kris Kris Humphries is a power forward for the New Jersey Nets. But that's not why he's included on our website. The Minnesota native started... More »
Full Name
Kris Humphries
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