Kourtney Kardashian Kourtney & Kim Take New York

We hate to break this to you, reality TV fans, but not all fairy tales can have a happy ending.

That's the message sent by the following promo for season two of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, which premieres November 27 and which has packaged the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries divorce into a central storyline for upcoming episodes.

It's almost as though the entire split was scripted just to increase ratings for the season ahead. But there's no way someone as real as Kim Kardashian would do that, right? Watch now to see Kris and Kim fight over his whereabouts and let's all hope and pray that these two make it...

Kourtney & Kim Take New York Season 2 Preview

OMG, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian fans. Season two of these sisters' reality show premieres on November 27 and the following clips make the drama look, like, oh so intense.

First, there's Scott Disick complaining about sharing an apartment with his wife, sister-in-law and her husband. It's so sad these people can't even afford two separate places to live!

Then, there's Kourtney wondering what it will be like if she, Kim and Khloe Kardashian are all pregnant at once. From there, we see Kim worried about residing in Minnesota, while Kris comforts her by saying that once she has children, people will stop caring about her anyway. You might say the power forward bricked that piece of advice...

Kourtney & Kim Take New York Sneak Preview

As if the recent Yankees' ousting from the American League Playoffs were not enough, now New York must suffer through this confirmation:

Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian are preparing to take the city once more, as E! debuted the official season two trailer for this scripted series last night. It features the talent-free sisters landing on a roof via helicopter, greeted by Kris Humphries and Scott Disick in tuxedos.

Make plans for the fall right now, Big Apples citizens. These people arrive next month...

Kourtney & Kim Take New York Season 2 Teaser

It's the moment we've waited for this entire wash of a season: Khloe arrived.

However, we weren't given enough time with the married old gal to measure how much we've missed her. The producers thought it would be a great idea to devote half the 22 minutes to Scott, who had landed himself the May cover of Men's Fitness (whyyyy?).

The remainder focused on Kim's sour puss, a result of the lollipops-and-gummi bears relationship between her oldest and youngest sisters. This isn't a shock, as we've seen Kourtney and Khloe play odd-man-out with Kim for the past four years.

As one of three girls, I'll admit this happens from time to time. But it's clear that the producers were searching for a storyline and know how well Khloe and Kourtney's dynamic is received by the viewers. Tough break, Kimmy. Call up Kris.

She'll hang with you. Scott Disick would do it, but he's too busy dreaming of his Men's Fitness wardrobe. Gucci and Tom Ford and fast cars, oh my!

I spent the first ten minutes gagging thanks to Scott. He saunters into the suite and tells his beloved that Men's Fitness has selected him for their May cover.

Then the jabs begin (even more reason to love Kourtney): Scott doesn't work out, why would they pick him... that sort of thing.

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We're fast approaching the point of too much Kardashian (quite frankly, I think we may already be past that point). Ryan Seacrest and his minions need a new formula, because the current one of Kim plus Kourtney and too much of Scott Disick isn't working.

Once upon a time Kris and Co. were a guilty pleasure, and we'd happily wait around for Khloe to tip Kourtney upside down like a teapot. 

Here in the city that never sleeps, though, the viewers find ourselves dozing off during Kourtney & Kim Take New York. Why are we so bored, you ask?

It's the dynamic between Kourtney and Kim. We've been over this a few times. As sultry (and a bit slutty) as Kim Kardashian might appear on print, she doesn't have much on-screen appeal.

The only time we get a chuckle out of the buxom brunette is when Kourt and Khloe make a joke at her expense. We're all well aware now why Kourtney and Khloe play favorites with one another - it's because Kim is snoozy and a little self-centered.

If we're going to be forced to endure more Kardashian invasion, let's at least bring in the players that entertain us. Even Kourtney's struggling to keep our attention this go-round, and giving Scott more airtime isn't helping things.

It was much better when he tinkered around in the background. Remember season one of Keeping Up With The Kardashians? He was just Kourtney's younger boyfriend, sometimes around for tapings, but oftentimes on the other coast.

Let's revisit that formula, because it worked well for everyone.

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Last week Ryan Seacrest debuted Kim Kardashian's new single, "Jam (Turn It Up)" on his KIIS-FM radio show, and last night we had the pleasure of watching it come together on Kourtney & Kim Take New York. 

It's splendid that The-Dream had a vision and wanted to "try it out," but next time try it out on someone you've heard sing well. Grab a kid from 'Glee,' or browse the posts on YouTube. There has to be someone out there better suited to sing "Jam (Turn It Up)" than Kim-unless you're going for that auto tone feel.

If that's the case, then a job well done (auto tone is hip right now - they used it at the Oscars).

Kim's been everywhere lately (and at almost every awards show, which befuddled even her biggest fans), so it was only a matter of time before she was presented with the option to sing a song. Paris Hilton did it, and she enjoyed moderate success for a short time. So let's try it out on her protege.

We were witness to the moment the idea was born, and wanted to pull Ciara's hair for even mentioning it over lunch. Don't shoot the messenger, you say?

Fine, we'll just lock Ciara and The-Dream up with a raw track of Kim's voice until they admit it was a poor idea.

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Sunday, the Kardashian sisters brought us boring birthday drama. On Presidents Day, we were treated to ANOTHER new episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, which means two nights in a row of scripted "dramedy."

How lucky are we? Our founding fathers reached out to us from beyond the grave cheering: "Behold, the American dream. For she who invests time and money in black eye shadow and bandage dresses will prosper."  

There are so many elements that make this Kardashian installment much blander than the others; KKTNY is missing key characters who make each 22 minutes pop.

We were able to withstand only two Kardashians in Miami because of the oldest-youngest sisterly dynamic (and be honest, nothing is cuter than seeing Khloe rock Kourtney like a baby).

There was a repertoire between those two that is lacking with Kim and Kourtney. No wonder Kourt had Scott move into their abode. This setup is boring even the stars! 

Where's Kris in her inappropriate outfits, sneaking cigarettes and red wine after a hard day of pimping out her 600 offspring? Can we pan the camera west to catch a cozy moment between Rob and Lamar? We'll wait until spring, but we're not thrilled about it.

For now, we'll sit through the rest of the season and rip to shreds the stellar scripting of Kourtney & Kim Take New York.

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We learned a few days ago that the Kardashian family grossed $65 million in 2010, and guess what? We're alllllllllllll to blame. You, me, the little girl clutching her copy of Kardashian Konfidential. They're an intriguing family, that bunch.

What started out as another reality show in 2007 has snowballed into an enormous empire made up of slutty clothes and sexually-charged commercials.

Somewhere in a holding cell, Paris Hilton is seething.

Sunday on Kourtney & Kim Take New York, Kim ushered in year 30 with a heavy heart. The-one-with-the-derriere says she imagined herself married with kids by this milestone. Instead she's a bona fide sex symbol/entrepeneur rolling in cash.

This is not a deviation I would spend my birthday moments crying over.

I'd be too busy simultaneously patting myself on the back while throwing dollar bills from my hotel room screaming, "I don't have to battle the baby weight and I haven't married the wrong man! AND I just bought myself another Birkin!"  

Birthdays are difficult for a lot of us. Yet Kim's birthday is treated as a national holiday in the land of Kardashian (population: pretty much everyone). Kim walks into her suite at the Smythe to find the dining room table covered in gifts and flowers.

The viewers were hoping for a little more gratitude, but were prepared for a puss. Kim searched the table for flowers from a cute guy, but all she found was expensive crap from every sort of platonic relation possible. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

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Last night's episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York featured the return of Shengo. You know, Kim's former bodyguard? Well, this time he's off the clock, people.

We don't even need to tell you what happened. But we will.

Elsewhere, Scott Disick proved yet again that he is a Class A Douchewaddle who can't wait to conquer the business world. If only he had the slightest clue how.

Our staff member reviews all the scripted action right here:

Ryan Seacrest and his producers are doing everything they can to keep us tuned into the Kardashians, and that includes capturing pillow talk the morning after.

You all remember Shengo, right? The Australian bodyguard who was hired to protect Kris Jenner's cash cow once upon a time? Now Shengo finds himself in the same city as Kim, and this Aussie beefcake is off the clock.

It's time to have a few cocktails and see where the night leads us, because things aren't like they were the last time these two were alone.  

Earlier in the episode, Kourtney accused Kim of falling for men too quickly. Kim loves the idea of being in love, according to her (now) boring, older sister. It's so easy to judge the singletons from the confines of your hotel suite, hmmmm Kourtney?

Just wait until Scott picks you up for lunch....

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Last night's episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York focused on some events we saw play out months ago in real life, because these girls are celebrities and all.

Kim taking it all off for W Magazine (and feigning horror and how nude she looked in the final issue) and Scott Disick's nightclub fight were both shown last night.

Our staff member reviews all the action on both fronts here:

We're all in agreement that Kourtney & Kim Take New York is just as scripted as the other Kardashian reality shows, but does that keep us from watching?

Certainly not. In fact, last night's episode was reason enough to tune in for a few "realistic" reasons: the Kim Kardashian naked spread in November's W Magazine and the infamous club fight that transpired in October.

The producers happily burned whatever weaksauce script they had come up with, and instead captured the very essence of Kardashian drama.

We read about the details surrounding the night Kim, Kourtney, Khloe and Scott were out at a club when a male fan asked Kim for a picture.

Things got out of hand when the fan's girlfriend accused Kim of hitting on her boyfriend. Though Kim did her best to convince the woman she wasn't trying to hit on her boyfriend, the woman continued to antagonize Kim. 

Then Scott came to Kim's defense and attempted to break up the argument.

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