Kourtney Kardashian

We were really pumped up to watch this week's Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, if you get what we're talking about. We're talking about Kourt's breast milk.

Sneaking around was the theme last night, from Kim's efforts to gank the fruits of her sis' lactation (don't even ask) to Scott going all covert on us.

Eventually everyone was busted, but hey, that's what happens when the whole show is scripted you keep secrets! Come along for THG's +/- KKTM recap!

Kim has psoriasis. Boo hoo. Amazingly, she just happened to stumble upon the little known fact that breast milk can help a lot with the skin condition.

Where, oh where, will she attempt to find some?! Minus 40.

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Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian returned to take over Miami on E! last night, as the sisters took their scripted act to The Sunshine State.

And then they gave it to Kris Humphries.

From the best one-liners to the most clearly contrived storylines, we run down the opener of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami in our patented +/- system below...

Khloe is in the house because her house is being renovated. Of course it is. PLUS 7 for this totally creative way to work the most fun sister into the series.

And PLUS 7 more for Khloe immediately focusing her wrath on Humphries, referring to his marriage with Kim as a "waste" of her sister's "time." MINUS 19, however, for not including the entire world along with Kim in that.

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Kim Kardashian is not feuding with Beyonce.

Sister Khloe Kardashian is not jealous of her sister's pregnancy.

And the divorce case with Kris Humphries is not moving along as quickly as Kim would like.

Kim and Kourtney touched on all these topics and more this week during an interview with radio program Sway in the Morning, as the pair continue to promote this Sunday's premiere of them taking over Miami.

Give the discussion a look and a listen now if you somehow aren't sick of this reality star already:

Kim and Kourtney on Sway in the Morning

It is about to be on between Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian.

Or at least as on can as can be for a series penned by the E! writers assigned to these siblings' terrible reality show.

The network has released a second trailer for Kourtney & Kim Take Miami Season 3, which premieres on January 20 and which will apparently feature a pretty big staged fight between the sisters.

"Don’t you ever say call me that again," we hear Kim bellow below, prior to a shoving match between her and Kourtney.

To what is she referring? Tune in later this month to find out! And then re-examine your life choices...

Kourtney & Kim Take Miami Trailer

Phew. That was a close one, folks.

It took a healthy diet, the money to afford a personal trainer and the removal of a baby from her womb, but Kourtney Kardashian has finally got her bikini body back.

Oh, happy day!

The latest issue of Life & Style is dedicated to this breaking news, as various bikini photos of the reality star grace the tabloid's pages.

"Her figure is amazing," an insider gushes to the magazine, adding that Kourtney is a Size 2 again.

How did she achieve her weight loss goal? In three words: Easy Salmon Recipe.

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Instagram photos. Bottles of Jameson. And $1,200 Christian Louboutins for a 17-year old.

Yup, it was just another Christmas at the Kardashians this year, as Brody Jenner has taken Instragram followers inside the family's annual bash.

And while Lamar Odom, Khloe Kardashian and company look happy to be posing in the first picture, we have to ask: What about the parents? Might Kris Jenner divorce chatter pick up momentum now that neither her nor Bruce have been included in any images?

Heck, even an accosted Santa Klaus made the cut:

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He may be a part of the Kardashian Christmas card, but will Scott Disick ever be an official part of reality TV's First Family?

It's unlikely, according to Life & Style sources, who report that the father of Kourtney's two kids tried to get down on one knee recently... but the attempt was rebuffed by Kardashian!

Kourtney "does not want to be engaged," the tabloid alleges, with a friend adding:

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The wait is finally over. The anticipation can end. The Internet can stop buzzing, for it's here.

Kim Kardashian and kompany have released their Christmas, an annual tradition right up there with the lighting of the Macy's tree in Rockefeller Center and midnight mass around the nation on December 25.

The clan is decked out in all-white for the occasion, with Penelope Disick making her Christmas card debut and even Kim's late cat, Mercy, posing for the world to see.

Where is Kanye West, some may ask? Until the rapper impregnates Kim or puts a ring on it, sources say he will not be included.

Family friend Nick Saglimbeni snapped the picture. How do you think it compares to last year's Kardashian Christmas card?

Kourtney Kardashian may be many things: a talent-free reality star; an attention whore; a mother of two.

But the new In Touch Weekly claims to make it clear: this large-breasted brunette is "no dummy."

With rumors abounding that Kourtney will actually marry Scott Disick, the tabloid reports there's one minor little hold-up: a prenuptial agreement.

“If anyone screws up in this marriage, it will be Scott, not Kourtney,” alleges an insider. “She’s no dummy.  She’s protecting her and her children’s futures.”

There's reportedly $20 million at stake, with a vacation to Paris between the couple ending in "disaster" recently because Disick does not want to give in to his fiancee's demands.

Can you blame the guy? He just wants to kick back and drink some Heineken, people!

They did it, people. They really, truly did it.

Kourtney Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian grace the latest cover of Life & Style, bragging about stunning weight losses: 40 pounds for Kourtney, 10 pounds for Khloe!

The secret to their success?

Make lots of money and don't hold down a real job, enabling them to hire personal trainers and chefs and constantly hit the gym. Easy advice to follow, folks!

“I’m working out consistently, three to five days a week,” Khloé tells the magazine of her revolutinary system. “I’m not where I want to be… but it’s a lifestyle change."

But don't get the terrible X Factor host wrong, she's still a Food Fanatic.

"I’m just changing my diet slowly," she says. "If I do too much too soon...I know I’ll go back and binge eat - and cry."

According to a different tabloid report, Khloe may have another reason to shed tears soon: might she divorce Lamar Odom?!?