by Free Britney at

Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant. Maybe you've heard by now.

Now that we've kleared that up, on to today's breaking news.

The reality star's boyfriend, "entrepreneur" Scott Disick, has adjusted to her mood swings, which are par for the course when you're pregnant, says she.

"Scott keeps getting scared," says Kardashian, who totally wishes she were knocked up by this guy instead. "But he's great with my mood swings."

"He's just like, 'Take a deep breath.'"

"He heard that with the last three months [of a pregnancy] you have mood swings so he was joking, 'Oh, you're not going to believe the mood swings!"

We're not entirely sure what that quote is supposed to mean, but in any kase, the Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami star says everything is under kontrol.

A Kourtney Picture

Scott Disick is adjusting well to the role of unwed baby daddy.

"If I'm just trying to pick a fight with someone and if I'm around Scott or my mom, then they'll probably get the worst of it," Kourtney konfessed.

"If someone is annoying me – usually my mom! – I'll call [my sister Khloe Kardashian] and it'll make me feel better because she'll agree with me."

As Kardashian's Christmas due date approaches, emotional rollercoaster and all, so does the impending news of the gender of Scott Disick love child.

"I'll know soon," she says excitedly.

Apart from being naturally curious, there's a practical reason to knowing whether she'll have a boy or a girl in light of the baby gifts she's receiving:

"How many yellow outfits do I need?" she says.

We eagerly await the answer to that rhetorical question for the ages. We expect the next bunch of pregnancy updates within the next day or so.

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by Free Britney at

The Hollywood Gossip stops at nothing to bring you the hottest celebrity news and scoop first-hand, straight from the beautiful stars you care about most.

We also try to get dates with Kourtney Kardashian.

As featured last week on Khloe and Kourtney Take Miami, the latter Kardashian was being pimped by the former, who held open auditions for boyfriends.

She was probably already knocked up by Scott Disick, but we didn't know that at the time. All our staff member could focus on was a chance with Kourtney.

Wearing sunglasses to remain incognito, he went underkover, taking a place in line with upstanding dudes with no jobs one random weekday in Miami ...

UNDERKOVER: Sadly, our staffer's hopes were krushed and he kame up short.

Despite a glimmer of hope - he was told he was "hot" and was told to take his shirt off - he ultimately was not asked to take Kourtney out on a date. Poor.

She even told the cameras there was no chance she would date any of the guys. Talk about a slap in the face of one of our staff's most eligible bachelors.

All in all, it was a giant sham. Apparently these Kardashians prefer ringers and pro athletes (see Friday's Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom article).

Check out the video of his efforts below. He is asked around the 40-second mark how his penis is doing. Yes, that was a real question posed by Khloe ...

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by Hilton Hater at

Role Model
 –noun; a person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, esp. by younger people.

Incredibly, Kourtney Kardashian has not been heard from in days. We can only assume she's saving a new batch of mundane quotes and thoughts about her pregnancy for an upcoming, in-depth interview.

Fortunately, Erica Mena - who E! News describes as a "video vixen turned sales associate" at Dash in Miami - is on record as saying that Kourtney should be admired for being so open about her knocked up state.

"The fact that Kourtney puts everything out there about her pregnancy for the world to know makes her more of a role model," Mena told Marc Malkin. "It's realistic and it's the truth, and for a young girl going through the same thing - forgetting to the take the pill, considering abortion - it's nice to know Kourtney is someone a person can look up to in the public eye."

Note to Erica: a role model is someone to whom other should aspire; not someone that simply makes the same mistakes as thousands of women every year. Realism does not equate to admiration.

Frightening Parents

Mena also says that Scott Disick is a "natural" with children and "more excited than anyone" about the impending money he can earn from selling photos of the baby. Guess that makes him a role model, too!

Do you think Kourtney Kardashian is a role model?

 

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by Hilton Hater at

Phew. That was klose.

For a few moments, we were afraid we'd never heard about Kourtney Kardashian and her pregnancy ever again.

How would we face each day without knowing whether or not the reality TV star has chosen to discover the gender of her baby? It's too unsettling a possibility to even konsider.

Fortunately, Khloe Kardashian told TV Guide that her sister's expecting state just happens to koincide perfectly with the upcoming season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. The writers have made it a "a major part" of new episodes.

"It's going to be everything Kourtney is going through up until the birth," Khloe said. "It's more of a family situation anyway, so I think it's perfect timing."

It really is. It's almost as though Kourtney pulled her goalie on purpose in order to give the show fresh storylines.

Khloe and Kourtney

Meanwhile, tonight's episode of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami features a speed dating session Khloe sets up for her sister.

The reason?

"At first, I was trying to fight a lot more [to get Kourtney to date], but then I realized she was just so miserable without [Scott Disick]," Khloe said, referring to the man that has implanted his seed in her sister.

When did Khloe kome to this realization? When she turned the pages of the script for the next episode.

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by Hilton Hater at

Hey, did you hear that Kourtney Kardashian was pregnant?!?

It's true. She had unprotected sex with shady boyfriend Scott Disick, forgot to take her birth control pill and is now spilling every mind-numbing detail of her expecting state.

While Kourtney has (miraculously) not spoken out about the impending child today, she was spotted walking down the street, her baby bump in full effect.

Due to deliver in December, Kardashian can be seen every week on the painfully scripted reality series Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. We'd rather listen to Kourtney talk about her pregnancy than watch that nonsense.

  • Baby Bumped
  • Very Preggers
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by Hilton Hater at

Kall us krazy, but the koverage of Kourtney Kardashian and her pregnancy is a bit out of kontrol.

We get it. She had unprotected sex with Scott Disick and is now expecting a child in December. We hope the baby is happy and healthy.

But must tabloids continually hype mundane facts, such as the breaking news that Kourtney plans to breast feed?

Or that - gasp! - she eats breakfast... in the morning?!?

Attention Lover

In the latest issue of Us Weekly, the barrage of Kourtney quotes kontinues, despite the fact that she doesn't even have a point to make. She might find out her child's gender; she might not.

"I'll probably find out, but I haven't decided for sure," Kardashian said, adding the following insight about possible names: "I don't have any names that I'm crazy about yet. I just got a name book that Scott's parents sent me."

Amazing. Come back tomorrow and find out which movie sits atop Kourtney's NetFlix queue.

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by Hilton Hater at

Fake boobs are good for many things:

Ogling. Squeezing. Landing Playboy spreads.

Bronx Mowgli Wentz Photo

To the shock of Kendra Wilkinson and Kourtney Kardashian, there's another attribute to breast implants: they can still produce milk!

In the latest issue of Us Weekly, both pregnant women express excitement over the day when their impending babies can suckle from their unnatural knockers. Said Kendra:

"I was so scared that I wasn't going to be able to nurse that when I saw stuff come out of my nipples the other day, I was like, I can breast-feed? And I asked my doctor, who said, 'That's fine, but it's not milk yet!'"

TMI, Kendra. TMI.

Added Kardashian, who hasn't meant an opportunity to discuss her pregnancy that she failed to embrace:

"They say usually you can [breast-feed with implants]. I want to."

She also wants to show the world her fake boobs by posing naked while expecting.

Who do you think will have the cuter baby?

 

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by Hilton Hater at

Kourtney Kardashian got knocked up by long-time boyfriend Scott Disick. That's news.

Every word out of the reality star's mouth since then? That's milking this accidental pregnancy for every penny she can.

Kourtney K. Pic

Over the past few weeks, Kourtney has told anyone with a microphone that...

Now, in truly breaking news, Kardashian says she might not move into Los Angeles, after all.

"I've been thinking, Do I really want to move [to a city]?" Kourtney told Marc Malkin of E! News. "It's so nice out here, even just going on walks. It just seems like a nice place to raise kids."

It's a nice place to exploit their impending birth, that's for sure.

Kourtney Kardashian is spreading the word about every nuance of her pregnancy like she spread her legs for Scott Disick, despite a lack of birth control. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

In another shocking revelation, Kardashian said she has mood swings, but at least sister Khloe is there to offer truly unique advice.

"Sometimes now I'll just snap," Kourtney said, revealing Khloe's words of wisdom: Pose naked and makes lots of money off this opportunity!

No, wait, it was this: Pick your battles.

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by Hilton Hater at

Kourtney Kardashian isn't an actress, a singer or anyone that has contributed anything to society aside from being the sister of someone that got famous for making a sex tape.

She had unprotected sex with her boyfriend and is now pregnant.

In other words: she's like millions of other women around the world (except for the sex tape thing).

Nevertheless, Kourtney continues to make tabloid headlines by sharing every conceivable detail about her pregnancy.

Is it really breaking news that Kardashian is scared of holding babies? Or that her boobs are sore? Or that she'd pose nude while knocked up?

Annoying Star

Now, Kourtney has admitted that she has specific (boring) food cravings. Amazing!

"I have more healthy cravings than my normal eating habits, like I crave fruit and cold things like smoothies," she told People. "I wasn't normally a breakfast person. [Now] I eat breakfast the second I get up and I'm definitely hungry all throughout the day."

Stop the presses, folks. Kourtney Kardashian eats breakfast in the morning. Stop those presses!

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by Hilton Hater at

It's been at least 16 minutes since we last heard thoughts from Kourtney Kardashian on her pregnancy. How many times per day is she using the bathroom? What color will she paint the walls of her nursery?

A bored-at-work-on-a-Friday fascinated public needs the answers!

Fortunately, the knocked up reality star spoke to E! earlier today about the prospect of actually holding a baby. She brought up a recent lunch with sister Khloe, a friend and the friend's baby.

"Khloe knew everything to do, like holding her perfectly, playing all these games. The girl was laughing," Kourtney said. "When I tried to hold her, I was like, 'Khloe, take her, take her!' I was so scared."

Crib Shopping

Kourtney Kardashian (with Scott Disick) stares at a crib and wonders why the sleeping apparatus is spelled with a "c."

As for other infant-related matters, Kourtney is as ignorant as Kim Kardashian was when Ray J suggested ways to spice up their sex life.

"I don't think I have ever changed a diaper," she said. "I am sure that I helped with [younger sisters] Kendall and Kylie, but I don't remember. When Kendall was born, I was 16. You just get your license then and you're never home."

Well, of course not. There's unprotected sex to be having with your shady boyfriend!

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