by Hilton Hater at . Comments

With Keeping Up with the Kardashians having just concluded its fourth season, the family publicist has been working overtime to keep his clients in the news.

Enter a pair of cover stories in this week's supermarket tabloids.

According to Star, the Kardashian sisters are residing in a "private Hell" because Khloe might get divorced from Lamar Odom; Kim has been dumped by Reggie Bush; and Kourtney has been duped by Scott Disick.

Over at In Touch Weekly, meanwhile, readers can learn why each of these talentless reality stars has been "humiliated by their men." Let us save you $2.99: Scott's nickname is "STD," Khloe and Lamar are in counseling, and Reggie won't propose to Kim. Are there any facts to back these claims up? Of course not.

But will the sisters soon respond to each story on their blogs, in order to generate sympathy and attention and keep the Kardashian news cycle going 24/7? Yes, any moment now...

Toxic Love

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Thank goodness.

Both Khloe Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian have signed on for a second season of their E! reality show, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. It's still unclear where the sisters are taking it, but "into the toilet" appears to be the leading candidate.

The new season will premiere this summer.

Last year, after being named the stars of their own show, Khloe suddently wed Lakers power forward Lamar Odom; while Kourtney found herself pregnant with a baby that belonged to lazy boyfriend Scott Disick.

It was almost as if producers asked the ladies to spice up their lives in some way. A crazy suspicion, we know. Might their reverse roles this summer, with Khloe getting knocked up and Kourtney walking down the aisle?

Lisa Berger of E! would only tease: "This time it's a whole different world as the pair must embrace their new life roles and juggle their hectic careers as they head back to South Beach where fun always follows."

Pardon us while we vomit.

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Their first names begin with the same letter, they share the same DNA and they collaborated on the same clothing line.

Now, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian are adding another similarity to their resume: they've been spotted out in the same dress from their Bebe-sponsored collection.

In separate public events, both sisters bared a shoulder and posed for the camera in the single-strapped black ensemble below. Kim accessorized with a dangling necklace, Kourtney showed off her neck.

Whose look do you prefer?

K vs.K

 

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Kris Jenner doesn't seem to think Scott Disick is a good boyfriend because he's a lazy, aimless individual.

Celebrity gossip tabloids claim that Kourtney Kardashian and her baby's father barely even speak, faking their relationship for the camera.

So, what does Kim Kardashian think of her sister's man?

"He's always at home helping Kourtney," she says to Us Weekly in the latest issue. "[The baby] has for sure brought them closer... Scott is so attentive to him. Mason has contributed to Scott growing up a lot."

Family at Play

While not exactly offering effusive praise, Bruce Jenner seems to be a bigger fan of Scott than his wife at least. He tells the magazine:

"Scott is still a work in a progress, don't get me wrong. But he's coming through."

That's reflected above. Disick has learned from the Kardashians how to pretend as though a photographer just happened to catch you in the act of living your life. We're guessing he's also learned how to cash the check written out for this photo.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Why are newspapers on the verge of bankruptcy?

There are a few theories: they don't charge for online content; immediate access to news via the Internet and cable news have made them irrelevant; and they have their priorities confused.

If you need an example of the latter point, look no further than a copy of The Los Angeles Times from last week:

LA Times

The newspaper feauted Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian on its FRONT page, immediately below news on President Obama's health care plans and the capture of a major Taliban figure.

Imagine what happens if Khloe actually makes a sex tape. She might be above the fold next time!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

When two trusted sources of journalistic integrity - such as Life & Style and In Touch Weekly - publish contrasting stories, it's a bit like watching parents fight.

Whose side do you take? Who in this world can you trust? Where does the truth lie?

Such is our reaction today, as Kourtney tells Life & Style that she loves Scott Disick and really wants "to make it work."

"Everything between us is amazing," she said. "It's definitely been hard. But I just reached a point where I needed everyone to get over it. This is the father of my baby.

HOWEVER, this cover of In Touch Weekly paints a very different picture... literally!

In breaking, truly startling news, the tabloid states that Kourtney and Scott actually don't get along. They are - gasp!!! - faking their relationship for the camera. It also begs the question:

Is E! the "Devil?" We always thought that was Spencer Pratt, or the Smoke Monster from Lost, but we're open to it being any network that airs a show dedicated to the life of Bill and Giuliana Rancic.

You tell us: Has Kourtney made a deal with the devil?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Appearing today on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, Scott Disick aimed to clear up a few misconceptions about him. Namely, that he isn't the Boyfriend from Hell.

He wants Kris Jenner to know that because Kourtney Kardashian's mother is full of "anger at all times" when the pair talk, he told Ryan. But there's hope for the relationship!

"Honestly, deep down, I think we both love each other a little bit, and I think that will come to the surface in due time. We already are getting along better these days," Scott said.

Scott and Kourtney

Disick told the American Idol host that Jenner constantly compares him to Reggie Bush and Lamar Odom, the football and basketball stars that are doing Kim and Khloe Kardashian, respectively.

"Kris thinks that if you're an athlete you tend to be a better person, when that's not always the case," Disick said.

It's true. Sometimes unemployed deadbeats make the best son-in-laws. You just gotta give them a chance.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Shocking news out of the tabloid world today: Scott Disick, the unemployed bum that is only known for knocking up Kourtney Kardashian, is a bad boyfriend.

With rumors of his infidelity floating around the blogosphere, a friend told In Touch Weekly that “Kourtney resents Scott for his behavior. They fight about almost everything whenever the script calls for it they’re together."

Of course, Scott is the father of Mason Dash, so Kourtney is stuck with the "boyfriend from Hell" forever, as the same tabloid touts on its latest cover:

According to this cover story, Scott Disick is a "serial cheater" and.. wait, Jake Pavelka is gay?!?

Despite being referred to as "maternal" by Khloe Kardashian a few months ago, witnesses close to the couple report otherwise.

“From what I’ve seen, Scott doesn’t really hold the baby,” a totally real source said. “When Kourtney has needed help, she has had to ask, and Scott appeared to give her crap about it. He acts like it is a huge hassle if he has to do anything like put down his phone to hold the baby.”

Insiders also say Disick often refers to Kourtney as "fat" and is "not attracted to her because she’s fatter than she was when they were dating.”

How will all this play out? No doubt E! writers are locked in a room at this very moment, trying to figure it out.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

With New York Fashion Week kicking off today, Kim Kardashian is about to make news for something other than her boyfriend winning the Super Bowl and her ex-boyfriend plowing her on video.

Indeed, the Kardashians will actually play a key role in the global event, as Kim struts down the runway tonight; and then hosts an entire show by herself on Tuesday, when her and her sisters' Bebe-sponsored clothing line is featured.

Is Kim nervous leading up to this debut?

"I don't really get too stressed under pressure, so I think this whole fashion stuff, being behind the scenes and being a part of it, really works for me," she told E! News. "Khloé gets really stressed and frazzled... Kourtney is always really calm and almost like too nonchalant."

As for working with her siblings on something other than contrived magazine covers and reality show scripts?

"It's kind of a dream for me to be able to design with my sisters," Kim said. "We each had such a significant role in designing [the line]... It came out like exactly the way we envisioned it!"

In bodily fluid news, meanwhile, Khloe, has something to share with you about Kourtney.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

While Kim Kardashian is off celebrating the Saints Super Bowl victory with Reggie Bush, it sounds like her sister has far more pressing issues to deal with in her relationship.

If you believe skeezy supermarket tabloids, that is.

The latest issue of In Touch Weekly claims Kourtney has been betrayed - sorry, BETRAYED! - by her baby's daddy, Scott Disick.

As you can see, the cover claims that Scott was caught with another woman and Kourtney discovered suspcious text messages on his phone, Elin Nordegren style.

The odds of either of these stories being backed up with evidence? Lower than Jake Pavelka actually marrying this season's winner on The Bachelor.

The odds that the Kardashian PR team paid to have this cover story made, in order for Kourtney to deny it and garner sympathy/attention? Very high.

There actually might be some legitimacy to accusations that Disick is not the father of Mason Dash, though. Rumors that Michael Girgenti actually implanted his semen into Kourtney started to spread in December.