by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The Kardashians have a message for fans: merry Christmas!

Actually, they have a few messages for fans: merry Christmas, check out how beautiful we are, purchase the designer clothes on our backs, click around our blogs to see more photos from this shoot, increase our number of page views and make us as much money as possible.

That's just how this family rolls. Check out its really creepy holiday card below and watch behind the scenes coverage of the pictorial in this video.

Kardashian Christmas Card

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

From WORLD EXCLUSIVES to HOLIDAY MIRACLES, a pair of supermarket tabloids have the Kardashians covered this week.

There's just one problem: no one in that family is pregnant or planning to adopt any children. Other than that, these stories are 100% accurate...

  • A Baby for Kim!
  • Not Having Babies

In one of the funnier made-up quotes of the year, an imaginary source claims Kim Kardashian will use her trip to South Africa this month to scout potential children for adoption.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Mason Dash Disick turns one year old today, and his family is celebrating in the only way it knows how: by blogging about the occasion.

Writes Kim Kardashian: It seems like just yesterday we were all at the hospital with Kourtney for his birth, and now he’s walking around all on his own and I can barely lift him, lol!

Writes Khloe Kardashian: HAPPY birthday to my beautiful baby nephew, MASON!!!!!!!! OMG I can't believe it's been a year since this perfect little person came into our lives.

Mason Dash Disick

We feel your pain, Mase.

Writes Kourtney Kardashian: Happy very first birthday to my little angel Mason! You complete and fulfill my life. This year with you has been more than I could have ever imagined.

Writes Kate Gosselin: My goodness, even I don't exploit my children to such an extent!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We give up.

We've tried to point out the obvious flaws in Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian (namely: an utter lack of talent), we've cited the latter's publicity-based relationships, we've questioned why the topic of spreading mayonnaise on one's vagina makes for talk show foder.

But none of it matters. For reasons that defy comprehension, Kardashian Konfidential - the memoir that delivers such fascinating tidbits as Kourtney uses pink dish gloves - currently sits at number-four on New York Times Best Sellers List. To anyone who purchased it, we have a simple question:

WHY?

Kardashian Konfidential Signing

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Is it possible Kim Kardashian and her sisters are not as fashionable as previously believed?

Might a store that carries their name also carry nothing but ugly, overpriced knockoffs?

These are crazy notions, we know, but they're the opinions expressed by Jon Caramanica, a fashion critic for The New York Times who spent time inside SoHo's Dash NYC this week.

Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian

One man's take on Dash NYC? "As in most theme parks, there wasn't anything worth carrying away but memories."

"Some items were baffling," Caramanica writes. "Even Khloé on her worst pre-marriage day might have struggled with the pink fur shrug ($484)."

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian krashed Saturday Night Live this week. Sort of.

As played by cast members Abby Elliott, Nasim Pedrad, and Vanessa Baye, the sisters appeared with Seth Myers on Weekend Update and explained what happened with their prepaid credit card debacle.

They also apologized for other canceled, family-sponsored products, such as the Kardashian birth control pill and temporary back tattoo. The funny segment, posted below, is a spot-on spoof, with one exception:

Where's the talk about rubbing mayo on your vagina?

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We understand that the body parts on Kourtney, Khloe and Kim Kardashian are pretty much all these professional celebrities have going for them.

Still, can someone tell these reality stars to stop talking about their vaginas in public?

Book Signing Photo

It was bad enough that we had to watch Kourtney give Khloe a bikini wax.

Then, last night, the sisters appeared on Conan and brought up a Twitter discussion two of them had about spreading mayonnaise on one's private region. Kim actually had to be the voice of reason and tell her siblings:

"Don't you guys realize that most of our fans are under the age 18 and you are bad influences on them? Talking about putting mayonnaise on your thing is not appropriate."

Below, watch the entire exchange, laugh at Conan's expression and shake your head over the state of a society that holds these women in such esteem.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We apologize to Adam Lambert and his supporters.

We're huge fans of this singer and hate the idea of comparing him to someone as talentless as Kourtney Kardashian. But we have no choice. When we see celebrity hairstyles this similar, we're obligated to poll readers over who does it better.

Especially when both styles honor the master of the poof, Snooki herself. So we hope Lambert lovers take this with the grain of funny salt with which it's intended and cast their vote now...

Which Hairstyle Looks Best?

Adam Lambert and Kourtney Kardashian have little in common. With the exception of this hairstyle. Cast your vote on who rocks the look better. View Poll »

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The Kardashians have been ripping people off. No, we aren't referring to the fact that this family has managed to convince people to purchase its merchandise and waste hours of their lives following the exploits of utterly talentless individuals.

For now, at least, we're just talking about the credit card sponsored by Kim, Kourtney and Khloe.

Kredit Kard

Due to allegations of exorbitant, possibly illegal fees, the Kardashians have yanked their prepaid Mastercard off the market. The move is a response to the Attorney General of Connecticut actually opening up an investigation because the card might have been violating consumer protection laws.

Let's all give Sarah Palin a moment to Tweet about how the government should just leave us alone, dammit...

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kritics of Kardashian Konfidential have understandably wondered:

What could Kourtney, Khloe and Kim possibly reveal in this "sisterhood autobiography?" The siblings blog about every aspect of their lives and let cameras film such intimate moments as a bikini wax.

Already Miserable

But we've (unfortunately) read the book and can state that it actually does contain a few juicy tidbits. Why should the public care about when Khloe lost her virginity? We have no idea. Still, it's one of several items we learned from the tome and report on below.

1. Khloe gave it up to an older man when she was 14. She used to steal Bruce Jenner's car and drive to secret sex sessions with this boyfriend, but tells readers NOT to be like her: "You should never, ever have sex when you're that young," her ghost writer she writes. "Feeling rushed and pressured and unsure should have been my clue that I wasn't ready to take that step."

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Kourtney Kardashian Biography

Kourtney Kardashian Photo Kourtney Kardashian is the least known of the older Kardashian sisters. She's probably the best looking, though. Kourtney has never made... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kourtney Mary Kardashian
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