by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Someone really needs to get Kourtney Kardashian a GPS for her bikini body.

The unmarried mother continues to lose her figure every few weeks. Fortunately, she always recovers it, just in time to grace the cover of a supermarket tabloid. Amazing how that works, isn't it?

Kourt Slims Down

Even though she's already told us how she lost 33 pounds, while also having already shared her diet secrets with the world, Kourtney is featured yet again in the latest issue of Life & Style.

Forget about her sister's dangerous new love, we're dying to discover the tips that can help us get airbrushed by magazines lose so much weight. Take it away, Kourt!

Small diet tweaks: "I used to always get a chai latte from Starbucks, but I just switched to one espresso shot... I was eating a lot of dried fruit, and I didn't realize how much sugar that added. And now I'll eat raw almonds instead of salted ones."

Embrace a physical activity: "I'm big on running - just putting on my iPod Shuffle and going for a run by my house."

Eat fresh food: "Frozen yogurt tastes so chemically to me because I've been eating salads and salmon and chicken. Fresh food is so much better."

Then, there's this final tip: Get pregnant in order to increase ratings for your reality show, pocket lots of cash by exploiting this situation for every tabloid in the country, use that money to pay a personal trainer and personal chef to help you get toned, use Photoshop, offer absolutely nothing of substance to the world.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Look, Kardashian family: we understand you'll do and say anything for attention. We comprehend the concept of a publicist and of concocting your own feuds and rumors in order to remain relevant.

But can you please leave innocent children out of your self-serving games?!?

Kardashian Klothing Line

Yesterday, over the course of several painful hours, Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick engaged in a pointless, fake public feud that centered around Kourtney and Scott's son, Mason Dash. It started when Kim posted the following photo of her nephew and Tweeted:

Please nobody tell Kourtney I just twittered a pic of Mase, she just might kill me! I just couldn't resist!

On cue, Disick called his quasi sister-in-law out, writing about his baby mama: "She's not going to be pleased."

From there, Kourtney chimed in, clearly being nothing but pleased: "Everyone told on u kim for showing a pic of Mason! At least u r an incredible auntie," she wrote.

Yes, how dare everyone tell on Kim... for posting a photo that went out to her giant base of Twitter followers, including Scott and Kourtney?!?

Let's hope that Mason skips right past crawling and walking and just learns how to sprint. The kid has to make a run for it before it's too late.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We first heard about this story last night. But we waited to make it public, assuming it was a belated April Fool's joke.

We're still waiting... no? Really?!? Sigh.

In Australia to serve as a mobile phone ambassador for Motorola (we're not making that up), Kim Kardashian said she and her siblings will soon pen a book. About relationships.

“My sisters and I are writing a book,” she said, without a hint of irony. “It’s going to [have] lots of fun tips and stories and everything about relationships; it’s a little bit more of an in-depth look into our lives, even though people think that they’ve probably seen everything."

We don't think it, Kim. Ray J made sure we did see absolutely everything.

Newly single, Kim said she'll "certainly be looking" for a boyfriend Down Under due to those "hot Aussie accents." This would make Cristiano Ronaldo very upset.

But back to the ridiculous book. Would you take advice from Kim, Khloe or Kourtney about relationships? A brief primer on their dating history:

  • Kim made a sex tape with an aspiring hip hop singer who went on to contract many STDs from desperate reality stars anchor a VH1 show.
  • Khloe married Lamar Odom after one-month of dating because the wedding would make for a quality episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
  • Kourtney dated a certified douchebag for two years, and then had his baby because it gave viewers a reason to watch her crappy E! series.

Man. Who would have thought that Jennifer Love Hewitt's The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Love-aholic would be the most appealing dating book on the market?!?

  • In Beverly Hills
  • Hard Hatted

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

A pair of celebrities that have accomplished nothing in life celebrate a birthday today.

First, we've already wished the best to Suri Cruise, who is now four years old. A major star in her own right, Tom and Katie's daughter has really done nothing except look cute for awhile now.

But that's a long resume compared to what today's other birthday girl has accomplished: Kourtney Kardashian is famous for being the sister of someone that starred in a sex tape and for having a child out of wedlock with a confirmed douchebag.

Way to go, Kourt!

In fairness to the new 31-year old, she's also appeared on a number of supermarket tabloid covers during her 30th year on Earth. That takes a lot of work by her publicist. We've listed them all below...

  • Kourt Slims Down
  • Toxic Love
Baby Cover
  • Kardashians
  • Yay Pregnancy!
  • OK! Magazine Cover

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

According to Khloe Kardashian's latest blog entry, the family's Miami clothing store has undergone major changes.

Hmmm... we wonder if this means the sisters will actually work there now. We have it on first-hand authority that the establishment is rarely open.

Ignoring that tidbit, Khloe writes: Kourt and I came to Miami to revamp Dash, and that's exactly what we did! We worked our little tushies off and were so excited about the store's fab new makeover that we thought what better way to celebrate than by getting one of our own.

After giving props to photographer Nick Saglimbeni, Khloe explains that she and her sister - along with new "dash dolls" Jessica and Katy - are actually naked in the promotional shot below. They're merely covered in body paint:

Nude for Dash

As always, this is nothing but a shill for the family's reality show.

"Our airbrushing adventures were captured on camera so you can catch it all in an brand spanking new episode of Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami. WOOOHOOOOOOO so excited!!!"

Sorry, Khloe. But why would we do that when we can stare at your naked body in PETA ads instead? And also because the show is 100% contrived and scripted?

Below, you can click on a pair of behind-the-scenes pics from the photo shoot. Kourtney hasn't looked this intense since producers told her to act troubled over her storyline-planned pregnancy...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It may sound incredible, but the latest issue of Life & Style reports it as true: Kourtney Kardashian lost a lot of weight after giving birth to her first child in December. Over 30 pounds, to be exact.

But while the first dozen melted away almost instantly, the talentless star has submitted the before-and-after shots below to prove there was still a bulge around her belly soon after Mason Dash entered the world.

"I never used to gain weight in my stomach," Kourtney says. "When I was pregnant, I didn't really do sit-ups, so I feel my stomach's the body part that changed the most."

Not counting her bank account, that is. It's increased ten fold since Kourtney was told by producers to have had a baby.

Kourt Pics

While shady Scott Disick might be psyched to be a father, meanwhile, he's even more excited about another change to Kourtney's body: her boobs have gone from a size 32C to 32F.

"My boobs definitely grew when I was pregnant," she says. "I had to get new bras because I went up one full size. My breasts got even bigger when I started breast-feeding. I didn't realize that would happen."

Really, Kourt? You didn't know that would happen? Please tell us Mason won't be home-schooled.

Finally, as if Kim Kardashian needed another reason to be jealous of Kourtney, the latter says she can now challenge her sister for butt supremacy in the family.

"I really like having this womanly body. Khloé keeps slapping my butt because she loves that I have a booty now!"

And, as always, because it's in the reality show script.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Kourtney Kardashian was more than happy to show off her curvy pregnancy body. Now she's more than happy to show off her "new" body without it.

Anything for a nice paycheck, right?

Just three months after the birth of her son, Mason Dash Disick, the new mom graces the cover of Life & Style to reveal her sexy, slimmed-down look.

In a riveting article, Kourtney Kardashian gives readers the scoop on how she managed to get back in shape so fast and tell all that weight to stay off!

We're guessing having the kid helped.

Not that this was enhanced by Photoshop at all. Come to think of it, she'll probably make headlines Friday calling them out for Photoshopping her.

Kourt Slims Down

HOW SHE LOST 33 POUNDS: Giving birth will do that.

by Free Britney at . Comments

They were killed off on South Park along with sister Khloe, but fear not, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian are alive, well and shilling for various klothing kompanies.

Yesterday, Kimberly was seen with remarkably little kleavage, but still going wild in a faded leopard-print blazer, jeans and platforms at her shoe club Shoedazzle.

What an Ugly Dress

Meanwhile, darting to Dash – as in her boutique, not son Mason – Kourtney played up her kurves in a black romper with a satchel, shades and platform sandals.

Which sis will emerge as the fashion champion when Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian klash in a style showdown? You tell us by voting below ...

Who looked more stylish yesterday?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

South Park thought up a way to off the Kardashians last night.

Enough said.

The premise for the second episode of the season, which premiered last week mocking Tiger Woods, was the gang getting tricked into reading The Catcher in the Rye.

They quickly determine it's not dirty enough, and write their own book, The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs, which they then claim Butters wrote, and he gets famous.

Butters then writes a follow up, The Poop That Took a Pee, which prompts a kid to hate phonies, a la The Catcher in the Rye's protagonist. Only this kid kills people.

PHONIES: The Kardashians were labeled (and killed off) as such by South Park.

Starting with Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian, natch, resulting in having his book banned. Here are the reality TV phonies shortly before meeting their demise.

Click here for South Park quotes from this and previous episodes, then click below to enlarge a couple of screen shots of the Kardashians being mercilessly gunned down Wednesday on the equal-opportunity offender Comedy Central show ...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

As predicted by The Hollywood Gossip, the Kardashians responded publicly to a pair of tabloid covers last week, as all three sisters took to their blogs and shot down stories that were likely planted by their publicists.

Welcome to the circle of publicity this family has established for itself.

Magazine Photo Shoot

The siblings are at it again, as Kim and Kourtney Kardashian are featured in the latest issue of In Touch Weekly. Expect each to act shocked and angered over the report later today, while toasting their PR team at home and basking in another week of headlines...

With Kourtney and Khloe in Miami, filming the second season of their scripted "reality" show, a friend tells the magazine that Scott Disick is acting as douchey as ever:

"In public, he tries to act like the perfect boyfriend because he’s paranoid about what people think of him. But at night, he is the same guy he’s always been. He still parties. He still flirts. He still hangs out with his guy friends. Nothing has changed for him.”

The insider adds that Scott and Kourtney are only "together when they're filming their reality show or being photographed.”

Wait, we're confused. Isn't that all the time?