by Hilton Hater at . Comments

According to Khloe Kardashian's latest blog entry, the family's Miami clothing store has undergone major changes.

Hmmm... we wonder if this means the sisters will actually work there now. We have it on first-hand authority that the establishment is rarely open.

Ignoring that tidbit, Khloe writes: Kourt and I came to Miami to revamp Dash, and that's exactly what we did! We worked our little tushies off and were so excited about the store's fab new makeover that we thought what better way to celebrate than by getting one of our own.

After giving props to photographer Nick Saglimbeni, Khloe explains that she and her sister - along with new "dash dolls" Jessica and Katy - are actually naked in the promotional shot below. They're merely covered in body paint:

Nude for Dash

As always, this is nothing but a shill for the family's reality show.

"Our airbrushing adventures were captured on camera so you can catch it all in an brand spanking new episode of Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami. WOOOHOOOOOOO so excited!!!"

Sorry, Khloe. But why would we do that when we can stare at your naked body in PETA ads instead? And also because the show is 100% contrived and scripted?

Below, you can click on a pair of behind-the-scenes pics from the photo shoot. Kourtney hasn't looked this intense since producers told her to act troubled over her storyline-planned pregnancy...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It may sound incredible, but the latest issue of Life & Style reports it as true: Kourtney Kardashian lost a lot of weight after giving birth to her first child in December. Over 30 pounds, to be exact.

But while the first dozen melted away almost instantly, the talentless star has submitted the before-and-after shots below to prove there was still a bulge around her belly soon after Mason Dash entered the world.

"I never used to gain weight in my stomach," Kourtney says. "When I was pregnant, I didn't really do sit-ups, so I feel my stomach's the body part that changed the most."

Not counting her bank account, that is. It's increased ten fold since Kourtney was told by producers to have had a baby.

Kourt Pics

While shady Scott Disick might be psyched to be a father, meanwhile, he's even more excited about another change to Kourtney's body: her boobs have gone from a size 32C to 32F.

"My boobs definitely grew when I was pregnant," she says. "I had to get new bras because I went up one full size. My breasts got even bigger when I started breast-feeding. I didn't realize that would happen."

Really, Kourt? You didn't know that would happen? Please tell us Mason won't be home-schooled.

Finally, as if Kim Kardashian needed another reason to be jealous of Kourtney, the latter says she can now challenge her sister for butt supremacy in the family.

"I really like having this womanly body. Khloé keeps slapping my butt because she loves that I have a booty now!"

And, as always, because it's in the reality show script.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Kourtney Kardashian was more than happy to show off her curvy pregnancy body. Now she's more than happy to show off her "new" body without it.

Anything for a nice paycheck, right?

Just three months after the birth of her son, Mason Dash Disick, the new mom graces the cover of Life & Style to reveal her sexy, slimmed-down look.

In a riveting article, Kourtney Kardashian gives readers the scoop on how she managed to get back in shape so fast and tell all that weight to stay off!

We're guessing having the kid helped.

Not that this was enhanced by Photoshop at all. Come to think of it, she'll probably make headlines Friday calling them out for Photoshopping her.

Kourt Slims Down

HOW SHE LOST 33 POUNDS: Giving birth will do that.

by Free Britney at . Comments

They were killed off on South Park along with sister Khloe, but fear not, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian are alive, well and shilling for various klothing kompanies.

Yesterday, Kimberly was seen with remarkably little kleavage, but still going wild in a faded leopard-print blazer, jeans and platforms at her shoe club Shoedazzle.

What an Ugly Dress

Meanwhile, darting to Dash – as in her boutique, not son Mason – Kourtney played up her kurves in a black romper with a satchel, shades and platform sandals.

Which sis will emerge as the fashion champion when Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian klash in a style showdown? You tell us by voting below ...

Who looked more stylish yesterday?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

South Park thought up a way to off the Kardashians last night.

Enough said.

The premise for the second episode of the season, which premiered last week mocking Tiger Woods, was the gang getting tricked into reading The Catcher in the Rye.

They quickly determine it's not dirty enough, and write their own book, The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs, which they then claim Butters wrote, and he gets famous.

Butters then writes a follow up, The Poop That Took a Pee, which prompts a kid to hate phonies, a la The Catcher in the Rye's protagonist. Only this kid kills people.

PHONIES: The Kardashians were labeled (and killed off) as such by South Park.

Starting with Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian, natch, resulting in having his book banned. Here are the reality TV phonies shortly before meeting their demise.

Click here for South Park quotes from this and previous episodes, then click below to enlarge a couple of screen shots of the Kardashians being mercilessly gunned down Wednesday on the equal-opportunity offender Comedy Central show ...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

As predicted by The Hollywood Gossip, the Kardashians responded publicly to a pair of tabloid covers last week, as all three sisters took to their blogs and shot down stories that were likely planted by their publicists.

Welcome to the circle of publicity this family has established for itself.

Magazine Photo Shoot

The siblings are at it again, as Kim and Kourtney Kardashian are featured in the latest issue of In Touch Weekly. Expect each to act shocked and angered over the report later today, while toasting their PR team at home and basking in another week of headlines...

With Kourtney and Khloe in Miami, filming the second season of their scripted "reality" show, a friend tells the magazine that Scott Disick is acting as douchey as ever:

"In public, he tries to act like the perfect boyfriend because he’s paranoid about what people think of him. But at night, he is the same guy he’s always been. He still parties. He still flirts. He still hangs out with his guy friends. Nothing has changed for him.”

The insider adds that Scott and Kourtney are only "together when they're filming their reality show or being photographed.”

Wait, we're confused. Isn't that all the time?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Is there anything the Kardashian sisters won't shill for?

Most notorious for backing a dangerous weight loss system that is not approved by the FDA, the siblings have now signed on to represent PerfectSkin, a new beauty product.

While the skin care line hasn't launched yet, Dr. Ron DiSalvo says Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian are the ideal spokeswomen for it because their lack of talent leaves them open to any sales pitch:

"As women who are constantly in the spotlight and juggling hectic schedules, the Kardashian sisters need a skin care system that's as simple as it is effective."

Total Shills

Kim, of course, is already extolling the virtues of a system that isn't even on the market yet.

"I have literally tried everything out there and nothing even comes close to PerfectSkin, " she said. "It's easier and more effective than anything else I've tried, and they are the only skin care products I use."

PerfectSkin will launch this spring and, truth be told, it's not really that poor of a choice for the sisters. But our original question still remains: Do you think there's any product they would not shill for?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The Kardashians are getting way too predictable.

Earlier today, we posted a pair of tabloid covers that called out the relationships of Kim, Khloe and Kourtney. We said the stories were likely planted by their publicists, so the siblings could respond later, garner sympathy from their fans and remain a major part of the entertainment news cycle.

It only took a few hours for the sisters to prove us right. Point, THG!

First, Khloe took to her blog and wrote:

"My sisters and I had a great laugh this morning. Star and InTouch decided to attack our relationships. Apparently I'm heading for divorce, Kim was dumped and Kourt was duped... Wow, sad week for us Kardashian sisters, and how coincidental that this all happened at the same time!"

The K Sisters

This is how the Kardashians roll: They greenlight negative stories to tabloids, whine about them to the press, boost the sales of said tabloids, make new headlines for themselves... and then do it all again a month later.

Kim then chimed in from her blog:

"OMG! Have you guys seen the front pages of In Touch and Star today!? Do NOT Trust the Media!!!!!!"

In closing, Kourtney, brought this perfect storm of publicity for the family home:

"Week after week Scott and I have been on the cover of In Touch with stories that make us laugh.... We have been blessed with the most amazing, beautiful baby boy and couldn't be happier. And saying that Scotts initials are STD and that he had a dogtag because he was proud of it... his initials are SMD, but nice story, idiots."

On one hand, you have to be digusted that so many people still buy into the Kardashian myth (i.e. that there's an ounce of unscripted drama to anything they do and say).

On the other hand, you really need to be in awe of the way they've taken advantage of a culture that's so obsessed with people whose biggest accomplishment to date is to focus the camera while Ray J does his thing.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

With Keeping Up with the Kardashians having just concluded its fourth season, the family publicist has been working overtime to keep his clients in the news.

Enter a pair of cover stories in this week's supermarket tabloids.

According to Star, the Kardashian sisters are residing in a "private Hell" because Khloe might get divorced from Lamar Odom; Kim has been dumped by Reggie Bush; and Kourtney has been duped by Scott Disick.

Over at In Touch Weekly, meanwhile, readers can learn why each of these talentless reality stars has been "humiliated by their men." Let us save you $2.99: Scott's nickname is "STD," Khloe and Lamar are in counseling, and Reggie won't propose to Kim. Are there any facts to back these claims up? Of course not.

But will the sisters soon respond to each story on their blogs, in order to generate sympathy and attention and keep the Kardashian news cycle going 24/7? Yes, any moment now...

Toxic Love

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Thank goodness.

Both Khloe Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian have signed on for a second season of their E! reality show, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. It's still unclear where the sisters are taking it, but "into the toilet" appears to be the leading candidate.

The new season will premiere this summer.

Last year, after being named the stars of their own show, Khloe suddently wed Lakers power forward Lamar Odom; while Kourtney found herself pregnant with a baby that belonged to lazy boyfriend Scott Disick.

It was almost as if producers asked the ladies to spice up their lives in some way. A crazy suspicion, we know. Might their reverse roles this summer, with Khloe getting knocked up and Kourtney walking down the aisle?

Lisa Berger of E! would only tease: "This time it's a whole different world as the pair must embrace their new life roles and juggle their hectic careers as they head back to South Beach where fun always follows."

Pardon us while we vomit.