by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Pretty much everything about the world of Kourtney Kardashian is fake, from her fights with Scott Disick to her involvement in Dash NYC.

Therefore, it's only appropriate for the realty vixen to appear on a show that's all about trumped-up feuds and poor acting. That's right, Kourtney is coming to daytime television!

It's Kourtney!

Kardashian will guest star on a March episode of One Life to Live, sources confirm, appearing in scenes David Fumero and Kassie DePaiva. She will not be portraying herself on the series.

"I grew up watching One Life to Live," Kourtney lied said. "I hear I get into some trouble and I am looking forward to it. This may be my acting debut, but the Kardashians know a thing or two about drama."

Shooting on the episode will take place this week. Don't worry, it will all be captured for an installment of Kourtney and Kim Take New York.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Like Kim Kardashian in the presence of a professional athlete, Dash is now open for business in New York City.

Hollywood's least talented, most famous sisters attended a launch party for the east coast version of their fashion boutique last night, as Khloe Kardashian looked miserable in every red carpet photo and had the same reaction we did in the picture posted here: there must be something more interesting going on than this...

Uninteresting Event

Tweeted Kim after the event: "Can't believe we have officially opened up another Dash!"

The real question remains, however: after a THG underkover operation revealed that the store in Miami is rarely open and the sisters never work in it, will any of them grace Dash NYC with their presence ever again? Time, many tabloid covers, and form-fitting dresses will tell.

  • Welcome to Dash
  • Actually Not Mannequins
  • Looking Miserable
  • Greeting Consumers
  • Dash NYC Opening

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We really wish were were making this up, but: Mastercard is coming out with a prepaid, Kardashian-based credit card.

The item will be available to consumers on November 10 - and we'll just let Kim take it from here, as we must go purchase canned goods for the upcoming Apocalypse:

"I am so excited to reveal to you guys that Kourtney, Khloe and I have partnered with Mobile Resource Card to create our very own Kardashian Prepaid Mastercard," Kim blogged today.

Kim Fragrance Launch

Kontinued Kardashian:

"To me, the coolest thing about this prepaid card is that when you get the card you also get a Mobile Mone account for free and you can transfer your money between your accounts when you need it, using your phone. It’s like having an ATM in your phone, LOL. No one likes going to banks and ATMs and we’re constantly on our phones, so why not make it easy to manage your money from your mobile!?"

We don't have an answer for that, Kim. Or for what's become of society.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We have bad news and good news for fans of Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick. Let's hope they are both reading this...

First, the bad: the rocky relationship between this couple is over, as In Touch Weekly confirms Kourtney took part in a REVENGE ROMANCE that included - gasp! - a "secret meeting" with a Miami model named Leandro Magno.

  • Revenge Romance!
  • Eloped!

It's been a busy week for Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick.

Fortunately, there's this piece of good news: Kourtney and Scott are married! As Star makes clear, the pair went off to ELOPE recently, somehow avoiding the cameras that follow them around at all times.

We wonder if they consummated the marriage or not. Disick is reportedly embarrassed to have sex with Kardashian, after all.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kourtney Kardashian is getting set to take over New York City, arriving there this week with shady baby daddy Scott Disick.

But despite photographic evidence that proves Kourtney and Scott are very much together, the latest issue of In Touch Weekly has breaking, false news for fans of this couple: they are apart!

While Kourtney reportedly forces her man to have sex against his will, Disick is busy house hunting for a bachelor pad to call his own. If you believe the anonymous sources quoted in this cover story, that is.

But here's a lesson in tabloid journalism 101, readers: Read the words on this magazine closely. Does it actually say that Kardashian is pregnant?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Scott Disick might be a douchebag, but he isn't an idiot. We doubt the guy would ever turn down sex.

But that's what Life & Style wants us to believe, as that tabloid claims Scott and Kourtney Kardashian are trying for a second child... much to the alleged dismay of the couple's male half.

Sisters

Kourtney wants a second child that's close in age to son Mason. Scott wants to bang his wife on his own darn time.

"Kourtney is figuring out the best times they need to make love to have the best chance of getting pregnant again, and it's driving Scott crazy," a family source says. "He feels humiliated. Kourtney calls him at work, and he has to drop everything so they can do it as soon as possible. He gets so embarrassed."

We're as shocked as you are, readers: Scott Disick works?!?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Big breasts are coming to The Big Apple. The sisters that never show an ounce of personality are coming to The City That Never Sleeps. The globe's most media-savvy siblings are coming to the media capital of the world.

No matter how you describe, the end result is this: Kim and Kourntey Kardashian will take their scripted act lives to New York City this winter, as E! spins the sisters off in Kim and Kourtney Take New York. Kim, Kourtney and Scott Disick touched down in NYC this week to make the announcement.

Taking NYC

Are you ready for the Kardashians, NYC residents?

"I could not be more excited to spend the next couple of months in one of my favorite cities," Kim blogged. "When we decided to open a new DASH store in the city, Kourt and I felt that someone needed to be here to help out with the store and make sure everything was running smoothly. After talking with my family, I decided that I would join Kourtney, Scott and Mason in NYC."

Khloe will stay behind in Los Angeles to spend time with husband Lamar Odom. Will you watch this spin-off, THG readers?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

According to this week's issue of Life & Style, there's breaking Kardashian baby news. But you don't need to shell out a dime to learn any of it. THG is about to deliver the story for free:

NO ONE IS PREGNANT!

Truly worthy of a cover story, we know.

Why is Demi Moore okay with the Ashton Kutcher cheating scandal, as this cover claims? Probably because it isn't true.

Khloe Kardashian does say that she and Lamar Odom are having a lot of sex, though, in case you were curious.

"We've been working at it all year," Khloe tells the magazine. "Getting pregnant is much harder than we thought - but practicing making babies is amazing!"

by Free Britney at . Comments

Snooki. One name says it all. Combine the Jersey Shore star with the many Kardashian sisters and their mom and you've got a match made in Twitter pic heaven.

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom celebrated their anniversary Monday night, and Snook stopped by, as did The Spin Crowd's Jonathan Cheban and his bad hair.

Kris and Kim on Ellen

She was "taking shots and pictures," says an attendee. "Everyone was laughing." Kim Kardashian herself said "What a special night! Tonight was pure love!"

Snooki then posted the following photos. Enjoy.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

D.J. Goodson is our new hero.

The Pennsylvania prison inmate has filed a lawsuit against Kourtney, Khloe and Kim Kardashian because he claims he was forced to watch episodes of their reality shows and the result was "extreme emotional distress." Dude, we know how you feel.

  • Khloe K. Photograph
  • Stylin Star
  • Cute Child, Annoying Mother

Khloe, Kim and Kourtney have no regard for their affect on inmates across the country.

In the lawsuit filed in federal court, Goodson went into detail about his scarring as a result of viewing the following Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami developments:

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