Kourtney Kardashian

Supermarket tabloids often invent cover stories and write ridiculous headlines in order to sell copies.

But we have no doubt the latest issue of Life & Style bucks this deceptive trend, as its lead story is 100% accurate:  Kourtney Kardashian clearly loves pregnancy.

Why wouldn't she? Prior to getting knocked up, Kourtney was scarcely on the celebrity gossip radar.

"It wasn't something I expected or planned," Kourtney lied about in the interview. "It was just meant to be according to our reality show script."

Kardashian is giving so many pointless interviews that she forgets what she says in each one.

A few days ago, she lamented her severe weight gain. But in this magazine, she said:

"I love being pregnant. I'm excited to be a mom... I'm totally excited to gain weight, and I'm embracing it. I run around naked all day at home! I like that my body is changing. It's a beautiful thing."

So, will she and baby daddy Scott Disick get married?

"I never had a plan. Now I have so much to think about for the baby. I'll worry about myself later."

It's true. Getting married and setting a good example for your child is incredibly selfish. Nice to see Kourtney has a firm grasp on the situation.

This just in: Kourtney Kardashian will eventually have her baby!

Step-father Brunce Jenner assures fans that there's no chance the socialite will remain knocked up forever. He told E! News:

"I have great confidence she will get through this - that baby will be born."

While phrased oddly at first, Jenner was actually offering a few words of warning for Kourtney, adding: "Then the real tough stuff starts for her. You've got a little baby there for 24 hours a day, for the next 20 years!"

It's actually closer to 18 years for most parents, Bruce. But you don't have any experience with your children actually attending college.

As for Kourtney, she's sick of packing on pounds.

"I weigh myself every day," she said. "I've gained 26 pounds since getting pregnant... I can't wait to sit down already. It's hard carrying extra weight."

Perhaps she should have thought of that before having unprotected sex with shady boyfriend Scott Disick.

Perhaps, also, she shouldn't look at this miraculous bundle of upcoming joy as "extra weight." Seriously. This kid is doomed.

Used to stealing the spotlight from other talentless celebrities, Kourtney Kardashian has now seen expensive items of her own stolen.

The socialite's home was burglarized last night, a discovery made by Kourtney after she and Scott Disick returned from dinner.

According to police, hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry was taken, including a Cartier watch, a Rolex, diamonds and gifts given to Kourtney by her late father, Robert Kardashian.

Kourtney celebrated an early birthday for Kim Kardashian on Friday night, but her mood quickly changed an evening later.

One is really thin. The other is rather fat.

But Shenae Grimes and Kourtney Kardashian share at least one trait: fashion taste.

The 90210 star and the attention-seeking, knocked up socialite donned the same dress during dueling public appearances over the last few weeks. What would Kourtney's sister, OK! Weekly's guest fashion editor, have to say about this faux pas?!?

We'll contact Kim Kardashian and find out. For now, it's up to readers to study the styles below and then vote in the proceeding poll...

Who looks better in this outfit?

In the most shocking development of the day, Kourtney Kardashian has revealed information about her baby that is actually somewhat interesting.

Her and Scott Disick are expecting a boy.

"A boy is definitely needed in this family!" Kourtney told E! News. "Scott and I are thrilled to add a little boy to the bunch. Bruce and Rob told me it would be a boy the whole time!"

This is actually relevant information about the socialite's child; at least compared to previous updates concerning Kourtney's cravings, morning sex desires, baby showers, mood swings and breakfast eating.

Man, she's annoying.

Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian are having a boy. Should they name it Khris, Kaleb, Kalvin, Karl, Karey, Karter or Kampbell?

The late September wedding of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom continues to pique celebrity gossip readers' interest. And make both of them a lot of money.

Last week, we took you inside the wedding of the reality star and NBA player. Now, more pictures of the magical ceremony and reception have been released.

Here's the bride and groom (who's reportedly still hammering out a prenup, as this wedding wasn't legal or anything, but rather just done for E!'s purposes):

Do you think Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom make a cute couple?

Not only does OK! have quality pics of the bride and groom, but shots of Kim and Kourtney helping Khloe get ready, toasting together, and much more.

Talk about a match made in heaven. Khloe, Kim, Kourtney and E! make such a perfect fit, we can't ever see them parting ways. Oops, we meant Lamar.

Click to enlarge more photos of Khloe and her man tying the knot with family on hand on a day only the celebrity gossip gods could have dreamed up ...

While we wanna smack sense into Kourtney Kardashian with one hand (seriously, shut the heck up and stop using your impending child as a PR tool!), we gotta give her a pat on the back with the other.

Even while pregnant, the socialite is taking a page from her sisters and shilling for an unhealthy product.

Earlier this week, Kourtney Tweeted about how much she's craving a treat from Hollywood bakery Famous Cupcakes - for which she's a paid spokeswoman, of course - for breakfast.

"Honestly it's worth the LBs. Those famous cupcakes are sooooo addicting. I need rehab! LOL Immm obsessed!" she wrote.

Here's something else to LOL about: Kourtney is pimping herself out for cupcakes; while Kim and Khloe have sold themselves out for QuickTrim, a cleansing weight loss supplement.

In other words, in the ideal world of the Kardashians, fans would fatten themselves up on sweets - and then grossly clean themselves out with this dietary tool.

Are these women great role models for women's health and body image or what?!?

Kourtney Kardashian is so special.

On Monday, she Tweeted the following, incredible news: "My baby is moving like crazy! Going to try and relax and sleep."

Thank goodness she alerted followers to that crucial information, but wouldn't it actually be more newsworthy if the child was NOT moving at this point in her pregnancy?

Kourtney Kardashian: Pregnant, Tweeting, crying out for attention.

Meanwhile, shady baby daddy Scott Disick is continuing to say whatever will make him sound like a responsible father-to-be.

"We're home every night looking at baby books and baby magazines," he told Us Weekly. "I just want to stay home with her, enjoy her company, look at her stomach and be with her."

And speak to any celebrity gossip tabloid that calls, of course.

Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom in a lavish, made-for-television ceremony last weekend.

But you'd scarcely know that based on the latest issue of OK! Weekly, which paid approximately $300,000 for exclusive photos from the event.

On the cover, the smiling bride is front and center - but squint and look closely or you'll miss the beaming husband. Odom is overshadowed in the main picture by Kourtney and Kim Kardashian, a fact he'll have to adjust to every time a camera is around...

Other details from the publicity-garnering wedding include:

• Perrier-Jouët champagne was served;
• Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds serenaded the couple with a rendition of “You Are So Beautiful;"
• During her toast, Kris Jenner got choked up, saying, “Everyone knows I boohoo in public!”

Well, not everyone knows that. They will, however, when E! airs its Kardashian wedding special on November 8. Kill us now. Please.

In a new, wide-ranging interview with Us Weekly, Kourtney Kardashian opens up about a number of attention-seeking topics. She makes three noteworthy points:

1. Pregnancy is awesome.
2. So is morning sex.
3. She and Scott Disick kept their distance this year in order to provide fodder for her reality TV shows.

Let's delve into each of these subjects in more depth.

First, Kourtney told E! News, during a photo shoot for the aforementioned magazine, that "I love being pregnant." Of course she does. Its provided her with more headlines than ever before.

Disick meanwhile, explained the birds and the bees to readers: "When I wake up, she always wants to have sex. That's how we got this way!"

It's true. Sex leads to pregnancy. So does an absence of birth control pills.

Disick added: "I think she's gorgeous. I think her body's perfect, and there's no one in the world I care more about making happy. It's upsetting to me if I hurt her feelings. For me, she has pretty much everything."

So why did the couple break up for a few months? Why did they not even see each other during that time?

For reality show ratings, of course! Kourtney admits the distance from Scott caused her family, friends and fans to be suspicious of him. This made for great TV.

"That's what makes the show exciting," Kourtney said, referring to both Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Kourtney & Khloé Take Miami. "I get it, but it's hard on a relationship when people say things like, 'I hope you're never back with that Scott guy.'"

Such is the life of a reality TV star. Sometimes, you need to make up said reality in order to create more interesting storylines.

Other times, you need to get pregnant in order to remain relevent.