Kourtney Kardashian

The Kardashian Kollection is koming to Sears. And, no, the klothing line will not include any white hoods.

Khloe, Kim and Kourtney find themselves in trouble today after releasing a statement on behalf of their upcoming fashion brand that reads: Join the stylish Kardashian klan on September 6th at the private studio of the legendary photographer Annie Leibovitz for an exclusive preview of their fabulous new fashion Kollection for Sears.

The Kardashian Klan? Brought to you by KKK? We wonder why anyone would be offended by such an announcement.

The sisters likely had as little to do with the wording of this statement as they do with the actual line, but still. They're idiots.

But they are sort of hot. And they're posing above in lingerie. Study the photo and decide: Which sibling would you rather...

Are you feeling remiss over the end of all Kim Kardashian wedding build-up? Don't worry, readers, another family proposal is on the way!

During the Saturday night reception, producers were busy mapping out a supposed special moment between Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian. How do we know? Because it was caught on tape!

TMZ has obtained the audio of one producer speaking to another about how Scott must approach Kourtney and bring up the future of their relationship. The walkie-talkie conversation concludes with a woman telling her co-workers: "See you at Kourtney's wedding."

Seriously, go listen to it now.

How ironic, huh? One tape made Kim famous. Another has exposed just how much of a farce the lives of the Kardashians are.

[Photo: WENN.com]

It's a Fashion Face-Off of epic, international proportions.

The always-stylish Pippa Middleton stepped out in rainy London in her black trench coat yesterday, making us wonder how a couple of Hollywood mainstays would each wear a similar piece with their unique twists. Can SoCal compete with the UK's finest?

See below, as we contrast the lovely Pippa with Kourtney Kardashian and Britney Spears pictures from earlier this year. Who wore the trench best? Vote!

Kim Kardashian has taken time out of exploiting her father's death for profit to hype a book she didn't write.

On November 1, the Kardashian sisters will come out with a novel titled "Dollhouse." It focuses on family living in the spotlight of fame and it's "based on our lives," Kim blogged this week. "But we've added a lot of crazy fictional twists and turns. You'll have to decide for yourself which story lines are true to life, and which ones we dreamed up."

The odds of any Kardashian writing a single word of the book, by the way, are about as high as Casey Anthony being named Mother of the Year.

Will you purchase Dollhouse?

At last night's Teen Choice Awards, the Kardashians beat out such talented competitors as Snooki, Audrina Patridge and Laurieann Gibson for the title of Choice Female Reality/Variety Star.

It was a sad commentary on the state of teenagers in America, but also a telling one: voters essentially threw their hands in the air and admitted: These sisters are all the same! They have no distinct personalities of any kind, so why not give them an award meant to honor a singular individual?

Let's try to separate Kim, Khloe and Kourtney, though, shall we? Below, we've pitted the red carpet styles of these siblings against each other. Who looked best at the ceremony?

One thing has been made clear on Keeping Up with the Kardashians this season: Kris Jenner is a controlling, whining attention hog with a bladder problem.

She also enjoys butting into her children's personal lives, making her opinion clear on the state of their relationships and their uteruses. She admitted as much to Us Weekly yesterday.

"I would love more grandchildren," Kris said. "Mason is the love of our lives, and he is so much fun, but there's only one Mason to go around. It would be nice if we had some more."

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom might have a child one of these days, but the former appears to enjoy talking about the possibility more than actually going through with it. Still, the outcome is in God's hands, not in her private parts.

"I would love all of my children to experience having children on their own," Kris says. "I think going through that process of being pregnant and giving birth, everybody should, if you can and you're blessed."

Seriously, kids. Mommy needs another set of newborn photos to sell to the tabloids.

What are we doing, readers? Did we just spend a half hour of our lives watching Kris Jenner talk about her bladder and her vagina? Have we no dignity?!?

While I re-consider how I spend my free time, let's review the latest scripted episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, THG style!

Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Kris vs. Khloe

Kris Jenner often pees herself. MINUS 7 because I don't care and because that's gross.

There's apparently a rule of no phones at the dinner table in this household. Multiple TV cameras, though? No problem! PLUS 9.

Kris is upset because her kids keep giving her a hard time over her bladder in front of strangers. Unless me and her are tighter than I realized, MINUS 19 for her complaining about this to a TV camera.

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Bruce Jenner did all he could to tune out his annoying family on Keeping Up with the Kardashians last night. He gets countless points for the attempt, but the clan as a whole lost a ton in this +/- review of its weekly, scripted shenanigans...

Kim asks Rob, in response to him having not seen Mason in awhile, "doesn't that hurt your soul?" She then sticks her chest out for a nice shot by the E! cameras. PLUS 7.

Khloe brings Bruce a "harmony comb" to help with his hearing. It's a paper plate and candle (below) resting on the side of his head. He then complains about Khloe taking a photo and putting it on YouTube. The E! camera man shakes his head and hands out MINUS 13 points for the irony.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Scene

"When in doubt, throw it away," Khloe says in regard to a turkey baster. MINUS 6 to E! producers for not taking the same stance with all copies of this show.

Kourtney is afraid Rob is missing her son growing up because they haven't spent quality time together. PLUS 5 to Rob for understanding he can just watch the process via the Internet instead.

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Kim Kardashian is getting married on August 20. What are you doing to prepare for this monumental event?

Are you undergoing a face lift, crying over how stressful it is and inviting cameras into your hospital room? No? Then you are not Kris Jenner.

The matriarch of this money-hungry family, who is reportedly organizing every detail of her daughter's nuptials, received a bit of plastic surgery last month in preparation for the event. Shockingly, the process was recorded by E! and will air on a future episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Prepare to lose your lunch watching Kris, Kourtney and Kim sob in this video:

Kris Jenner Plastic Surgery

Forget Kris Jenner. Kourtney Kardashian defied God on multiple occasions this week.

It was a truly sacrilegious episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, reviewed below in our patented +/- format. Let's find out now what sort of score the installment earned, shall we?

Lamar and Rob both say they'd do porn. NEGATIVE 5 to Khloe for referring to that as "bizarre." Isn't Kim's decision to do so the only reason this family has a reality show?

Kris says Scott and Kourtney should get married before having another kid because it's "more natural" that way. PLUS 3 for not Kris cracking up at the irony. How natural is it for one to say this about one's daughter to an E! camera?

Scott is talking to his therapist. On television. With his shirt unbuttoned half way. Exposing a wholly shaven chest. NEGATIVE 147.

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