Kourtney Kardashian

Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian have simultaneously been abandoned by the men in their lives ... at least according to one ridiculous tabloid cover.

Must be a slow news week, even for In Touch, because there's pretty much no indication that Scott Disick or Lamar Odom ditched their partners.

Scott partied with "club girls" while Kourt stayed home with her hormones, supposedly. Maybe so, but that's what Scott does. It's not incendiary.

As for Khloe's man? Lamar dumped the Mavericks, but that's about it.

What's all the more amazing about this kover is that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are dating. Like for real. Kim Kardashian is dating Kanye West!

This made-for-tabloid-drama relationship actually materialized out of thin air and ITW instead opts for bogus, less interesting stories about her sisters.

That's just poor celebrity gossip reporting, people. Poor.

Move over, Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mýa and Pink. The Kardashians are koming!

Kendall and Kylie Jenner posted a video on YouTube yesterday, one that was filmed during the family's Christmas card shoot in December. Like that annoying Kardashian take on Katy Perry's "ET," here we see Kim, Khloe and Kourtney and Kris Jenner lip syncing along to a popular track.

In this case, the 2001 chart topper from Moulin Rouge, "Lady Marmalade." And the lyric repeated most often in that song? Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi Ce Soir.

Sounds about right for the Kardashians, doesn't it?

The Kardashians - "Lady Marmalade" Kover

Yes, Kourtney Kardashian dyed her hair a couple weeks ago. And, yes, she's pregnant with a girl.

But, no, despite the criticism Kourtney thinks she's been getting, this decision was not an irresponsible one. She explains why in a new blog entry.

I "followed all of the guidelines from my doctor and took the proper precautions necessary," Kourtney wrote yesterday. "I highlighted my hair, which is considered the safest form of hair color while pregnant, and not to the root, so nothing ever touched my scalp. I also used products that did not contain any ammonia."

In Kourtney's defense, she has no way of making money aside from coloring her hair, posing in a bikini, fabricating tabloid stories, etc. So she really did make this move with the best interests of her child in mind.

Saying she thought it was "time for some fun," hence the change, Kourtney koncluded:

"Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I take caution in all the products I use all the time, but especially when pregnant."

Yes, the one thing anyone who knows anything about Kourtney Kardashian would cite about this reality star is that she takes caution in all the products she uses all the time, especially when pregnant.

Kim Kardashian has shaken off the flour and put on the bikini.

Earlier today, Bruno Schiavi - the co-creator of the Kardashian Kollection Swimwear line; i.e. the man who actually did all the work while Kim, Khloe and Kourtney stood on various red carpets around the country - posted a photo to Facebook of these stars in designers bathing suits, adding the caption:

”First look at our new Kardashian Kollection Swimwear campaign! The girls look incredible!!!!!”

The beach and pool attire will be available at Sears for anyone who, for reasons that defy comprehension, wish to resemble one of the Kardashians.

And, of course, the image got us thinking: Which of these sisters would you prefer to get your Ray J on with? Vote now:

Kourtney Kardashian has a message for her fans: OMG.

That's right: Oh... My... GIRL!

The reality star sold the announcement of her baby's gender to OK! this week, revealing to the tabloid that she's having a girl in just a few months.

We're "so, so excited," Kourtney says, while boyfriend Scott Disick - who apparently has NOT abandoned his baby mama - adds:

"I even wanted a girl the first time - and then we had Mason and it couldn't have been any better... We're very fortunate to have the combination that everyone wishes for."

Does the couple have a name selected?

"We actually have one name that we both love, but I'm not sure," Kardashian said. "I feel like you don't really know until after you meet the baby."

In other words: we'll tell you when a tabloid shells out big bucks for the answer.

Welcome back to the first annual Tournament of THG: Couples Edition, where fans vote on the most popular celebrity couple in the entire universe!

The concept is simple: Pick your favorite of the two pairs in each poll. Done. YOUR VOTES will determine the winners of this tournament showdown.

In recent matchups, Jay-Z and Beyonce took on Jason and Molly from The Bachelor, Will and Kate battled Britney Spears and Jason Trawick, and Vampire Diaries stars Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev squared off with Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth.

Today's poll: Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick vs. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez! Vote for your favorite duo in the first-round contest below!

Poor Kourtney Kardashian. The knocked up reality star has once again been left by baby daddy Scott Disick, according to Life & Style at least.

In December, we were told that Kourtney was left Pregnant & Alone by Disick, despite a multitude of red carpet appearances that proved otherwise. Now, a new tabloid cover story is screaming that Scott is again acting like a total jerk.

In late January, sources tells the magazine, Disick spent a weekend partying in Las Vegas. He then returned home to a "fuming" Kourtney, the insider continues, who responded to his bachelor-like ways by throwing him out of the house. The result?

Scott spent 11 days in a different state than his baby mama last month! 11!!!

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Are you sure you don't want to hit this, Tim Tebow?

In a new ad for the denim jeans of their Kardashian Kollection, sisters Kim, Kourtney and Khloe "go natural," as the former writers on her blog, adding: "I think it's such a beautiful shot and Khloe and Kourtney both look so stunning!"

This line of jeans - available at Sears - "will hug your curves and compliment your figure while remaining affordable and comfortable to wear," reads a press release.

No word yet on whether or not you must return the item within 72 days of purchase.

Study the topless figures above now and decide:

Which Kardashian sister would you rather Ray J?

The moment we've been waiting for finally kame. Sort of.

Kim Kardashian decided to end her marriage to Kris Humphries in last night's season finale of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, a highly anticipated episode even though we're already aware of what happened and this nonsense is all scripted.

That said, we were dying to see it play out on E! But how much of it really did? The answer may surprise you if you missed it. Here's our finale rekap, THG style!

"It's getting to the point where we need to start talking about it," Kris tells Scott Disick, who has somehow become the most sane, normal character on the show. Plus 60.

Kris admits he and Kim "are really weird right now," making us wonder when that was not the case, since they have zero chemistry and nothing in common. Minus 40.

Kris: "We need to get back to what it was." What was it, though? Do tell. Plus 10.

Kim Kardashian: "Sometimes ... I just feel so dead inside because I haven't really been myself here." Oh no, Kim, you're definitely being yourself here. That empty feeling is just your complete lack of personality. Or morals. Minus 90.

"We got lost in the shuffle here," Kris says, admitting he let basketball and training take over, despite the fact that there was no NBA season at the time and he spent most of this KKTNY season standing around doing nothing. Minus 20.

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Just when you thought Kourtney & Kim Take New York could not get any more insulting to your intelligence ... meet celebrity medium John Edward, everyone!

Sunday night, Kim really wanted to find some closure regarding the death of her father, and convinced her sis to join her in what was a "moving" experience.

The idea that this BS isn't scripted is about as believable as O.J. fathering Khloe Kardashian. A psychic? Really? At least come up with quasi-realistic plots, E!

Anyway. Here's our weekly rekap, THG style!

Kris' sister, Kaela Humphries, is in town. Yes, Kris and Kaela. The names may have been the only reason E! kast Kris as Kim's husband initially. Plus 10.

Kim doesn't want Kaela to suspect anything's wrong. Plus 10. Kim's default expression is about as interesting as watching paint dry, so no issues there.

Oh, but wouldn't you know it, Kim feels like she needs guidance from her late father Robert Kardashian! And feels a psychic can contact him!! Minus 700.

Enter John Edward, who totally gets invaluable free advertising for this ridiculous stunt. Even the job description of "Celebrity Medium" is LOL-worthy.

"There's a lot that I've been going through, like emotionally and mentally, that I really think that I'll find comfort in connecting with my dad again." Minus 25 for a terrible job reading cue cards and attempting to sound spontaneous, Kim.

Kris thinks the idea is stupid. This is because Kris, for all his faults, is likely a real human being who does not believe every moment of one's life should be scripted, utterly humiliating nonsense. Plus 15, then Plus 10 more for storming out on her.

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