Kim Kardashian Jonathan Cheban

Kim Kardashian is yet to speak on her new profitable adorable bundle of joy.

But those close to the reality star are starting to open up about the daughter born Saturday to Kim and Kanye West, with Khloe Kardashian first Tweeting it's hard "2describe the miracle" and Kris Jenner then saying the baby is beautiful.

Last night, meanwhile, good friend Jonathan Cheban talked to People and gushed over the state of his BFF.

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Ray J may have hit it first, but a surrogate for Kim Kardashian is hoping to get the last laugh.

In response to that singer's hilarious Kim Kardashian sex tape ode, Jonathan Cheban has come out and made his feelings very well-known.

Ray J - "I Hit It First"

"When I saw that idiot Ray J make a song about her, you know I held myself back from twittering that Ray J is a real retard," Kim's BFF told Us Weekly on Saturday. "But you know, I can't deal with a thousand people twittering back and forth so I let it go. I mean, who does that?! You're a loser and you'll always be a loser."

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After a one-week, Oscar-induced hiatus (some things are still bigger than the Kardashians) Kourtney & Kim Take Miami returned with a bang Sunday.

KKTM continued tackling the big, mostly contrived issues in the sisters' lives, as well as Jonathan Cheban, who we last saw getting BELTED by Kourt.

How'd things play out this week? Find out in THG's recap!

Right off the bat, Kim's friend Karen asks - without prompting from the producers WHATSOEVER - if she thinks she'll marry Kanye West someday.

"I do," says Kim, smiling. Groan. Minus 175 for the cheesiness of that scene, and Plus only 25 for the sentiment, because we don't think she's serious.

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If you thought hornball Scott putting the moves on Khloe was enough faux drama for the week on Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, you thought wrong!

KKTM ran it back for a special Monday episode this week, as well! Because who can get enough of them, honestly. Sure as heck not the THG staff.

What contrived nonsense awaited E! viewers this time around? Specifically, why did Jonathan Cheban get slapped by an irate Kardashian sister?

Find out now in THG's Kourtney & Kim Take Miami recap!

During a photo shoot for UK Cosmopolitan, Kim and Khloe discuss filling out the magazine's questionnaire re: what Kim would do if she was a man.

"If I was a man, I would want to know what it's like to have sex with myself," Kim told her sister. "I would just want to know what it would feel like."

Even Kim herself wishes she were Ray J sometimes. Plus 850.

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Just when it seemed like the world's most unexpected feud was dying down, Jonathan Cheban has stepped in to voice his take on Kim Kardashian's war of words with Jon Hamm.

How does the random reality star and hanger-on feel about the Mad Men actor dissing his BFF as an example of stupidity in our culture?

Words We Never Thought We'd Write: Are you on Team Cheban or Team Hamm?

"I think Jon Hamm needs to just shut up and stop being such a mad man!" Cheban said at an Ocean Drive party last night. "He needs to mind his own business, because Kim works hard. They do different things - it's a whole different world."

Cheban added - and we're not making this up - that Kim Kardashian is both more popular than Jon Hamm and will be relevant for longer than the Emmy winner.

"Put Jon Hamm in a mall, and more people will go up to the people working at the Burger King than they will to him. Bring Kim to a mall and there will be a riot. They're in two different businesses. Kim's pop culture and what people like.

"It's a lot of work, and she's here to stay. Let's see where he is after Mad Men."

Kardashian, for her part, has mostly taken the high road in this unexpected rivalry. She's too busy posing topless on Twitter to really respond.

[Photos: WENN.com]

Sunday on Kourtney & Kim Take New York, Kourt went kouponing, Scott bought a piano and Kris was on a quest to uncover Jonathan Cheban's sexual orientation. 

Yes, with a cast as interesting as drywall, they had to bring in this klown.

The story editors and writers are getting creative, though. Give 'em that.

Is Scott serious about his baby grand? Did Kourt save big bucks? What was the final verdict on Jonathan? Does anyone care? Here's our weekly rekap, THG style!

Scott and friend Chris (not Kris) take a walk and see a fabulous $1.5 million grand piano in a storefront. Wait ... they're serious? Scott has friends still? Plus 10!

Disick goes with the baby grand instead. Recession and all. Plus 12.

As Scott flaunts wealth, Kourtney discovers the couponing craze! See what the writers are doing here, playing up the “opposites attract” angle?! Fail. Minus 35.

Kim and Kris double date with Simon Huck and his boyfriend. Then Huck's business partner and Kim's BFF Jonathan Cheban shows up, alone. Mysterious!! Plus 7.

Kris says it's obvious that Jonathan is a homosexual individual. He then proceeds to ask him about it point blank in a store. Wow, Kris. Awkward much? Minus 20.

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Sunday on Kourtney & Kim Take New York, Kim's Spin Crowd BFF Jonathan Cheban is (supposedly) planning to sell her out with write a tell-all book about her life.

Meanwhile, Kris Humphries decides to throw a party and invite random girls while the Kardashian sisters are out of town, and Scott Disick dabbles in Judaism.

At least the story editors and writers thought up some new angles this week.

What did Kris say about the big party? Is Scott serious? Was Jonathan really planning to blindside Kim? THG breaks down Sunday evening's drama, +/- style:

Kris Jenner tells Kim about Cheban's scheme to shop a tell-all about her. She's, like, devastated. Naturally, she found out from her mother of all people. Plus 5.

Kim worries that Jonathan is using her like everyone else. Kim, you use everybody else to make millions. 'Memba the wedding? It's a vicious circle. Minus 23.

Maturely, Kim starts a Twitter war with Cheban. Plus 6, as that may be how Kim Kardashian, or at least her professional Tweet writer, actually settles konflict.

Wouldn't you know it, Kim learns it's not a tell-all, but a guide to becoming an "it girl" using her as an example. NOW she feels BAD! Good one, E! Minus 71.

Jonathan hangs up on her after her attempt to apologize. Plus 15.

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A fan of Kris Humphries approached Jonathan Cheban on the street in New York City yesterday and tossed flour in his face, and we know what you're thinking:

Kris Humphries has fans?!?

TMZ has a photo of the incident, as well as a quote from someone on the scene, who overheard the flour-thrower yell: "This is for Kris Humphries!"

Humphries and Cheban - Kim Kardashian's BFF and the star of Spin Crowd - have never gotten along well. The latter has accused the former of referring to him as "gay," a charge Kris denies and one he has reportedly considered legal action over.

A rep for the NBA free agent says his client "would never condone hateful and unacceptable behavior like that to anyone, in any situation."

[Photos: WENN.com]

Ray J has already starred in a reality TV show.

Now, the other men responsible for the fame of Kim Kardashian have landed their own series.

PR gurus Jonathan Cheban and Simon Huck have already shot a pilot for a new show, which is likely to air on cable next year. Kardashian is serving as a producer on the program, which she describes as "the next step in my career."

"I've always wanted to get into producing. After my reality TV show is done, the next step is producing. I definitely see myself in the producing chair," Kim told People.

What is stranger: Kim Kardashian's outfit? Or the thought of her as the producer of anything but sex tapes?

Exhibiting the sort of vocabulary and intelligence expected of a producer, Kardashian added:

"I've definitely seen the ins and outs of reality TV. I definitely love reality TV shows. It's something I'm passionate about... It'll show all the ins-and-outs or PR. It's going to be really fun. It'll show how there's lots of drama and crisis in the PR world."

So, just to reiterate: the series will be within the genre of reality TV and it will depict the lives of people in PR? Is that correct?