Everyone's favorite former sex tape star celebrates a birthday today.

Okay, correction: the partner of everyone's favorite sex tape star celebrates a birthday today, as Kim Kardashian is now 34 years old.

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The most famous booty in Hollwood turns 33 years old today.

Yes, Kim Kardashian is now one year older, though fans may be hard-pressed to find a better gift for the reality star than got for herself:

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Kim Kardashian, THG's favorite celebrity/arch nemesis, turns 32 years old today.

The talent-free reality star has been in the news lately for pretending to date Kanye West and for posing in a bikini. She's also been busy paying her intern to post updates on Facebook and Twitter.

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In what should clearly be considered a national holiday - nay, an international holiday! - Kim Kardashian turns 31 today.

This set of large breasts recently returned from Dubai, and ran straight into a tabloid deluge of divorce rumors. Are she and husband Kris Humphries on the outs? Is this simply planted fodder for her upcoming reality show? And did you even know Kim was married? The ceremony was kept very much on the down low.

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That isn't the number of red carpets Kim Kardashian stood on this month, nor is it the number of takes it took her and Ray J to get their sex tape just right. It is isn't even the number of birthday parties this talentless celeb threw for herself in preparation for a milestone.

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Kim Kardashian turns 30 years old on October 21. But, kome on, kan't you offer up this birthday gal a few early wishes?

The woman who has made a career out of getting naked and attending parties will double up on the latter this weekend. In anticipation of the next big day next week, Kim will celebrate tonight at Tao Las Vegas.

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Kim Kardashian Biography

A Kim Kardashian Selfie
Kim Kardashian is the ex-girlfriend of Nick Cannon, Reggie Bush and Ray J. She had intercourse on camera with the former, which is what... More »
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kimberly Noel Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Quotes

So far, designing is the most exciting thing I’ve done... I have a vision of what I want [the clothes] to look like in my mind and it’s fun to see it come alive on paper.

Kim Kardashian

He just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto.

Kim Kardashian [on Barack Obama]