Kim Kardashian

Sunday on Kourtney & Kim Take New York, Kourt went kouponing, Scott bought a piano and Kris was on a quest to uncover Jonathan Cheban's sexual orientation. 

Yes, with a cast as interesting as drywall, they had to bring in this klown.

The story editors and writers are getting creative, though. Give 'em that.

Is Scott serious about his baby grand? Did Kourt save big bucks? What was the final verdict on Jonathan? Does anyone care? Here's our weekly rekap, THG style!

Scott and friend Chris (not Kris) take a walk and see a fabulous $1.5 million grand piano in a storefront. Wait ... they're serious? Scott has friends still? Plus 10!

Disick goes with the baby grand instead. Recession and all. Plus 12.

As Scott flaunts wealth, Kourtney discovers the couponing craze! See what the writers are doing here, playing up the “opposites attract” angle?! Fail. Minus 35.

Kim and Kris double date with Simon Huck and his boyfriend. Then Huck's business partner and Kim's BFF Jonathan Cheban shows up, alone. Mysterious!! Plus 7.

Kris says it's obvious that Jonathan is a homosexual individual. He then proceeds to ask him about it point blank in a store. Wow, Kris. Awkward much? Minus 20.

We've reached the top of our Celebrity of the Year countdown. Or, as many might say, given the winner, the bottom.

The THG staff has spent the last couple weeks breaking down the most newsworthy stars of 2011, from Lindsay Lohan at #10, up to the impressive comeback of Jennifer Lopez at #9, to the popularity of Selena Gomez at #8 and the hilarity of viral video stars at #7.

There was the hit-generating Katy Perry at #6, Justin Bieber and his hair at #5, those gorgeous British Royal Family members at #4, Charlie Sheen and his winning ways at #3 and the most charitable, eccentric celeb of all at #2, Lady Gaga.

So who remains? The woman who accomplished both everything and nothing in 2011, our #1 selection of the year... Kim Kardashian!

For the record, this is a business decision. We do not like Kim Kardashian. We wish we never had to write a word about Kim Kardashian. We fail to see why a single human being is a fan of Kim Kardashian. But the facts speak for themselves, and no celebrity made more headlines in 2011. Consider:

In JANUARY: Kim kicked off the new year by debuting a single that made Kim Zolciak sound like Whitney Houston. She also met the family of Kris Humphries for the first time and premiered the highly-rated, critically-lambasted Kourtney & Kim Take New York.

In February: She starred in a Super Bowl commercial and whined over her latest nude photo spread. It also came out that she and her family made $65 million in 2010.

In MARCH: She appeared in a Midori ad campaign, as buzz first circulated that she might marry Humphries.

Looks like The Help is turning on The Kardashians.

A former family nanny is shopping a tell-all book about her time with the famous family before they were that famous. Spoiler alert: She's not a big fan!

Pam Behan, served as a nanny, personal assistant and cook for Bruce and Kris Jenner for years, getting to know the Kardashian girls and Brody Jenner.

She couldn't stand Brody or his brother Brandon (Bruce's kids from his first marriage), calling the two Jenner boys "extremely spoiled and disrespectful."

As for the K-squad?

Pam describes her relationship with Kris Jenner as a "love/hate" thing. We totally get it. Sort of like THG's relationship with her, only without the first part.

Despite selling him out in a book, she seems somewhat fond of Bruce, claiming he helped her avoid prosecution when she was busted for DUI a while back.

Behan promises to reveal some "intimate details" about Kourtney and Kim Kardashian, which is surprising, as the girls were reportedly very fond of her.

Then again, it could be one of those empty promises used to sell books, since no one would by a tell-all about Brody Jenner. Sorry B. Just how it is.

Several agents have indicated interest, but no deal has been struck yet.

[Photo: WENN.com]

Kim Kardashian, at the end of the day, is just not that interesting.

She's rich. She has above-average looks and siblings with names also beginning in K. Ray J made love to her and filmed it from numerous angles. She's dated a lot of professional athletes. She got fake married on TV. You know the story.

Despite ridiculous overexposure and a personality rivaling drying paint on the excitement scale, she rakes in monstrous amounts of kash just for being her. Six hundred grand, astonishingly, for showing up Saturday at Tao Las Vegas:

The New York Post konfirms that the former Mrs. Kris Humphries will be at Tao in Sin City "as part of a larger deal worth up to $600,000 for multiple appearances."

Everyone gets a piece of the boring action!

New Year's Eve appearances represent the easiest money around for stars from A-to-Z-list, as clubs and venues across the U.S. look to market extravagant soirees.

Earlier today, we told you how Lindsay Lohan actually passed on similar offers, choosing to avoid temptation and spend a private, low-key NYE with her family.

Kim had no such kwalms, however. This is what she does. It's unklear if Kim even knows the definition of private or low-key. Or marriage for that matter.

Kim Kardashian isn't just over Kris Humphries, according to the latest issue of OK! Weekly. She's already planning for motherhood...

... with Reggie Bush!

“Kris just wasn’t the guy for Kim,” a source tells the tabloid. “Not as a husband, but certainly not as a father, and ever since they broke up she’s been thinking about Reggie more and more.”

The insider goes on to describe the Dolphins running back as "father material," something that appeals to Kardashian, who has never made a secret of her desire to have children.

"Kim has always wanted to be a mom and she knows she will be," says the source, apparently ignoring Kim's whining last month about how she may be stuck forever as an aunt. "She has always adored children and she is naturally very maternal."

Star Magazine has pulled off the impossible: coverage of the Kardashians than actually turns off this attention-crazed family.

The latest issue of the tabloid quotes Charles Kernaghan - the head of the Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights - as saying the Kris Jenner-led clan employs youths in China to manufacture Kardashian merchandize in unsanitary warehouses.

An investigation has been launched into these "slave labor" like conditions - that reportedly include long work hours, meager wages and uncomfortable temperatures - but there's a  problem:

Kernaghan says he was misquoted and tells TMZ there's no proof that the Kardashians are involved in any kind of sweatshop scandal. He's never even been to any of the factories in question.

In light of this admission, along with the magazine cover above, sources say the family is set to move forward with a libel lawsuit against Star. Lawyers believe the tabloid should have to pay for damage caused to the Kardashian brand's reputation and, trust us, we hate to agree with anything this family says or does.

But they may have a point here.

The Kardashians stand accused of using "slave labor" and turning a blind eye to human rights atrocities to produce their multimillion dollar fashion lines.

A human rights group is investigating claims that workers in China - as young as 16 - work in squalor to manufacture merchandise for the famous family.

The labels in question: K-Dash by Kardashian (which Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian are all involved with), the Kris Jenner Kollection and ShoeDazzle, according to Star.

The institute for Global Labour and Human Rights has in fact launched an investigation, amidst claims the Kardashians' products are inhumanely produced.

With factories reeking of stench from sewage and temperatures north of 100 degrees, an official from the group says conditions in the area are "horrific."

There are also claims the employees work up to 84 hours a week, earning $1 an hour ... while the Kardashians rake in approximately $65 million a year.

However, a leader of the human rights group quoted in the story implying the Kardashians use "slave labor" says the story is misleading in many ways.

Charles Kernaghan, Executive Director of the Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights, says he told Star, "It was a wise idea to wait on the article."

Kim Kardashian is denying a series of celebrity gossip reports that she attended a fashion show and spent a fortune on herself during her recent visit to Haiti.

The star took to her blog to shoot down "malicious" rumors about her trip to the Caribbean country, which was hit by a earthquake in 2010, with her mom.

She and Kris Jenner traveled there for positive PR to learn more about the charity We Advance, not for a fashion show, which has been rumored this week.

"Our mission was to learn more about [Maria Bello's] charity, We Advance," she says, "and meet the Haitian people who have made such amazing progress since the devastating earthquake in 2010, and celebrate the women of Haiti."

Kim says they "inspired me more than I ever could have anticipated."

When Kardashian returned, she says she saw "malicious" reports that say she "spent a fortune" on herself in Haiti ... and was, like, so offended, because how could ANYONE possibly think Kim would put herself first in any situation?

Oh, happy days. The holidays can finally begin!

Early this morning, Kim Kardashian and kompany released the family's official Christmas card, with each member getting his or her black tie on and Kim, naturally, standing all alone.

If you listen closely enough, you can almost hear the publicist-inspired whining coming out of her mouth...

The photo was snapped by Nick Saglimbeni and there’s a apparently a 3D version available for those that purchase 3D glasses. On a related note: if you purchase 3D glasses to view to view the Kardashian Christmas card, don't stop driving at the store. Just keep right on going to a psychologist's office.

Tell this professional it's an emergency. You clearly need major help.

[Photo: Kim Kardashian Blog]

Sunday on Kourtney & Kim Take New York, Kim's Spin Crowd BFF Jonathan Cheban is (supposedly) planning to sell her out with write a tell-all book about her life.

Meanwhile, Kris Humphries decides to throw a party and invite random girls while the Kardashian sisters are out of town, and Scott Disick dabbles in Judaism.

At least the story editors and writers thought up some new angles this week.

What did Kris say about the big party? Is Scott serious? Was Jonathan really planning to blindside Kim? THG breaks down Sunday evening's drama, +/- style:

Kris Jenner tells Kim about Cheban's scheme to shop a tell-all about her. She's, like, devastated. Naturally, she found out from her mother of all people. Plus 5.

Kim worries that Jonathan is using her like everyone else. Kim, you use everybody else to make millions. 'Memba the wedding? It's a vicious circle. Minus 23.

Maturely, Kim starts a Twitter war with Cheban. Plus 6, as that may be how Kim Kardashian, or at least her professional Tweet writer, actually settles konflict.

Wouldn't you know it, Kim learns it's not a tell-all, but a guide to becoming an "it girl" using her as an example. NOW she feels BAD! Good one, E! Minus 71.

Jonathan hangs up on her after her attempt to apologize. Plus 15.