by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In October 2009, Kim Kardashian dressed up like Barbie for a strange photo shoot with Kurv.

It was an unusual sight, and not just because the reality star's breasts were mostly covered up.

Now, Kim has made like the world's most famous plastic doll again, referring to her new Famous Cupcakes campaign as her "modern day Barbie look" in a recent blog entry.

Apparently, Barbie has dyed her hair in 2010, now dons a low-cut top and does everything she can to seduce the camera with the licking of her finger...

A Dancing Barbie

Meanwhile, did you hear that Kim leaked her own sex tape? It's true. Just ask Ray J's mother.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Sonja Bates-Norwood, the mother of Ray J and Brandy, has two messages for America:

  1. Get over the sex tape her son made with Kim Kardashian.
  2. Put the blame for its release squarely on the giant breasts shoulders of Kim.

The Norwood family appeared this week on The Wendy Williams Show in order to promote their new VH1 reality series (yes, there's now a program based around the exploits of one guy famous for penetrating Kim Kardashian on video; and one woman famous for her fatal car crash) - and Sonja was asked about the only reason anyone has ever heard of her son.

She first told the country to move on from the tape, and then said: "With all the hoopla with it being Ray J and people trying to blame him, did you see him on the cover of Playgirl? Did you see him in the centerfold of Playgirl?"

Translation: Kim has posed for Playboy and has seen her career take off since the video went online. You connect the dots, people.

Brandy and Ray J proceeded to sign autographs for fans outside talk show studio. Which raises the question: Brandy and Ray J have fans?!?

  • Return of Brandy
  • Remember Brandy?
  • Sister of Ray J
  • Brandy Norwood Photo
  • Ray J and Brandy
  • Siblings, Singers

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kim Kardashian is no stranger to the world of tabloid journalism. Quite the contrary, in fact.

The reality star pays a publicist to ensure she and her family receive as much attention as possible. But while these stories typically center around harmless "news" items such as Kim's latest weight loss, a pair of reports this week focus on Kim's dangerous love life.

First, Life & Style quoted Kim's friends as fearing for their pal's feelings because she's mixed up with a major, orgy-loving player in Cristiano Ronaldo.

Conversely, Star delves into Kardashian's past. It claims to have uncovered court documents that prove Kim was abused in her marriage to music producer Damon Thomas.

Secret Marriage Report

Kardashian and Thomas (pictured, right) were married from 2000-2004. During their time together, the cover story above alleges the latter flew into jealous rages, threatened Kim's life and forced her to get plastic surgery.

Kim recounts one incident, citing a day when the couple was scheduled to go skydiving with Justin Timberlake:

“Before we left our home, Damon hit me in the face and cut my lip open. I fell into the bed frame and banged my knee hard. I was limping when we went skydiving.”

If this story is true, Kim has recovered nicely. She's established a career for herself that involves receiving money for random appearances, followed by a day of shopping and paparazzi photos that are often arranged by her publicist, resulting in more cash in Kim's pocket.

For example, Kardashian has spent this week in Australia...

  • An Aussie Shopper
  • Shopping Down Under
  • Kim, in Australia
  • Aussie Fans
  • Begging for an Autograph
  • Hideous Shades

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Last week, Kim Kardashian was spotted snogging Cristiano Ronaldo.

A harmless, fun rebound, following her break-up with Reggie Bush? Anonymous friends fear this isn't the case. They are scared that it's a lot more, and the relationship could mean trouble for Kim. Cute suspenseful music...

Citing Ronaldo's reputation for "call girls and group sex," the latest issue of Life & Style reports that those close to Kardashian are afraid of what she's gotten herself into. This is a man that has allegedly hired prostitutes and slept with 80,000 women, according to one insider's laughable permutations.

"Cristiano loves to party," said British journalist Debbie Manley, while another source adds: "I just don't think he'll ever settle down and be faithful to one woman."

Kim... in Danger!

Even more distrubing that Ronaldo's past discretions? The fact that this is the THIRD week in a row that a different Kardashian sister has graced the cover of a tabloid, bragging about her weight loss.

Seriously. Look here and here.

Do these magazines really have nothing else to do but pay these talentless sisters money for getting airbrushed and posing in a bikini? Have all the orgies you want, Cristiano!

Kim doesn't deserve you anyway.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Look, Kardashian family: we understand you'll do and say anything for attention. We comprehend the concept of a publicist and of concocting your own feuds and rumors in order to remain relevant.

But can you please leave innocent children out of your self-serving games?!?

Kardashian Klothing Line

Yesterday, over the course of several painful hours, Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick engaged in a pointless, fake public feud that centered around Kourtney and Scott's son, Mason Dash. It started when Kim posted the following photo of her nephew and Tweeted:

Please nobody tell Kourtney I just twittered a pic of Mase, she just might kill me! I just couldn't resist!

On cue, Disick called his quasi sister-in-law out, writing about his baby mama: "She's not going to be pleased."

From there, Kourtney chimed in, clearly being nothing but pleased: "Everyone told on u kim for showing a pic of Mason! At least u r an incredible auntie," she wrote.

Yes, how dare everyone tell on Kim... for posting a photo that went out to her giant base of Twitter followers, including Scott and Kourtney?!?

Let's hope that Mason skips right past crawling and walking and just learns how to sprint. The kid has to make a run for it before it's too late.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We first heard about this story last night. But we waited to make it public, assuming it was a belated April Fool's joke.

We're still waiting... no? Really?!? Sigh.

In Australia to serve as a mobile phone ambassador for Motorola (we're not making that up), Kim Kardashian said she and her siblings will soon pen a book. About relationships.

“My sisters and I are writing a book,” she said, without a hint of irony. “It’s going to [have] lots of fun tips and stories and everything about relationships; it’s a little bit more of an in-depth look into our lives, even though people think that they’ve probably seen everything."

We don't think it, Kim. Ray J made sure we did see absolutely everything.

Newly single, Kim said she'll "certainly be looking" for a boyfriend Down Under due to those "hot Aussie accents." This would make Cristiano Ronaldo very upset.

But back to the ridiculous book. Would you take advice from Kim, Khloe or Kourtney about relationships? A brief primer on their dating history:

  • Kim made a sex tape with an aspiring hip hop singer who went on to contract many STDs from desperate reality stars anchor a VH1 show.
  • Khloe married Lamar Odom after one-month of dating because the wedding would make for a quality episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
  • Kourtney dated a certified douchebag for two years, and then had his baby because it gave viewers a reason to watch her crappy E! series.

Man. Who would have thought that Jennifer Love Hewitt's The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Love-aholic would be the most appealing dating book on the market?!?

  • In Beverly Hills
  • Hard Hatted

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Ah, the life of Kim Kardashian.

For doing nothing at all, the large breasted reality star can always make headlines; whether she's being berated by the morons at PETA, or making gobs of money for standing in a store in Australia.

First, Kim started her week by Tweeting a random photograph of herself - and her giant left boob - holding  up a cat. For what purpose? Probably because she knew PETA would react and the incident would paint Kim in a sympathetic light.

After all, she may be useless - but what individual in his/her right mind would ever side with an organization that cares more about attention that about saving animals?

Klutching a Kat

On cue, PETA released a statement about Kim's dastardly actions: "Kim Kardashian isn't the only person who mistakenly thinks that because a mother cat picks up her kittens by the scruff of the neck that a supportive hand under the rump isn't needed."

Fair enough. But is Kim the only person who has starred in a sex tape with Ray J to have done so? **

Meanwhile, Kardashian isn't letting this flap get in the way of her professional life. She's was in Sydney, Australia over the weekend, promoting a new Motorola phone and doing her job as mobile phone ambassador.

Seriously. That's a job. Kim is being paid to stand around, hold a phone and give it her blessing. Guess we should be grateful this product won't mess with the self-image of girls around the world.

Motorola Spokeswoman
  • Cell Phone Shill
  • The Life of Kim
  • Cell Phone Endorsement
  • Down Under Kim
  • Easy Pay Day

[Photos: Splash News]

** Editor's Note: This joke narrowly edged out the following when it came to Kim mockery: "Speaking of support under the rump... Ray J really gave it to Kim from behind during their popular sex tape!"

** UPDATE: The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals L.A. has chimed in and said: "It is permissible to hold a kitten by his or her scruff for a brief amount of time... [but] the manner in which Ms. Kardashain is holding the kitten could lead others to mishandle animals."

We'll update this post again when President Obama speaks on the controversy.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Sorry, Cristiano Ronaldo. You're not the only person to see Kim Kardashian naked this week.

But there's a difference between the bare body Ronaldo reportedly went home with in Madrid, and the one Kim show off inside this month's Harper Bazaar: the latter is UNtouched.

Following in the natural footsteps of Jessica Simpson's Marie Claire spread, Kardashian appears nude in the magazine, without the use of Photoshop. She says of the shoot:

"I think the message is embrace your curves and who you are. I feel proud if young girls look up to me and say, 'I'm curvy and I'm proud of it now.'"

Kim Kardashian Nude... Again

That would be a great, healthy message to send... IF IT WEREN'T COMPLETE AND UTTER BS!

Kardashian hasn't let three consecutive sentences slip out in public over the past few months without mentioning QuickTrim. She and her family tout that diet supplement at every opportunity, despite the fact that it isn't approved by the FDA - but, hey, whatever pays the bills!

Heck, she just appeared on the cover of yet another tabloid, bragging about how much weight she's lost.

At one point, Kim, you may have been a role model for curvy women everywhere. You could have embraced that responsibility. Instead, you sold out, becoming just another female celebrity that sends a message to girls around the world that's wholly opposed to the crap you spew above:

Go thin or go home.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Reggie Bush may be moving on with Jessie James, but Kim Kardashian isn't standing around and letting her large breasts go to waste.

One of Great Britian's leading tabloids reports that Kim was spotted this week with soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo - and the pair were snogging up a storm!

"She and Ronaldo were kissing and very affectionate," an onlooker told The Sun. "They looked to be getting on really well, laughing the whole time."

Glasses vs. Boobs

But the hook-up didn't end there: witnesses claim Kim jumped into a chauffeur-driven Mercedes G-Wagon later in the night, followed Ronaldo (in his Audi) back to his place, and stayed for approximately four hours.

She left the next day for the States, seemingly content with lapping up the sloppy seconds of her former BFF. If Ronaldo had planned on tapping the backsides of Kardashian and Paris Hilton, one might say he's accomplished his GOOOOOAAAAAL!

(One might also recommend a trip to the free clinic.)

  • Perpetually in a Bathing Suit
  • Just Lounging Around
  • A Nice Body

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

How do you seek revenge against a former boyfriend that may have cheated on you with a blonde waitress?

By starving yourself and taking an unhealthy weight loss supplement that forces you to sit on the toilet for hours on end, that's how!

Such is the action Kim Kardashian has taken against Reggie Bush, according to the latest issue of Life & Style. Its cover story hypes Kim's use of (what else?) QuickTrim, while quoting the reality star as saying:

"I really wanted to just buckle down and get rid of the tiny bit of excess weight I was carrying... I used to be so shy and insecure walking around in a bikini doing shoots and things. It's amazing how much better I feel."

Kim allegedly lost five pounds in five days... which actually pales in comparison to what the exact same magazine claimed Khloe Kardashian lost last week. See for yourself:

The Revenge Body

How much weight, in how many days, will Kourtney Kardashian lose next week? Pick up Life & Style. Find out!!!

Kim Kardashian Biography

Kim Kardashian, Boobs Kim Kardashian is the ex-girlfriend of Nick Cannon, Reggie Bush and Ray J. She had intercourse on camera with the former, which is what... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kimberly Noel Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Quotes

So far, designing is the most exciting thing I’ve done... I have a vision of what I want [the clothes] to look like in my mind and it’s fun to see it come alive on paper.

Kim Kardashian

He just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto.

Kim Kardashian [on Barack Obama]
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