by Hilton Hater at . Comments

This really shouldn't come as a surprise.

Of course the Kardashians would consider an E! News personality as part of their family.

Awful Hairstyle

The group's newly-released Christmas card - which somehow, magically appeared online - includes the all the usual suspects (Kourtney, Khloe, Kim Kardashian; Bruce Jenner, Lamar Odom, etc.)... and Ryan Seacrest.

The American Idol host produces the family reality show.

On her official blog, Kim wrote:

"What is Ryan Seacrest doing in the pic!!? I love you to death, Ryan, but it's a bit of a stretch to call you a member of the Kardashian family, don't you think? I know you're dying to be a part of the family, so just for this Christmas, we'll make your wish come true!"

This is why you have to love/hate/admire/detest the Kardashians: do they really expect us to believe that Seacrest was accidentially included on the card?

Kim acts as if this wasn't 100% planned by her publicist. Someone had the idea to stick Ryan in the photo, circulate it around the Internet and create a new round of headlines for the attention-hungry family.

It's both utterly grating and completely genius at the same time.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

America has many problems: double-digit unemployment; a bickering Congress that can't get anything done; professionals athletes that tag anything with breasts.

But this may be the most glaring issue facing our great country: a fascination with people that have accomplished absolutely nothing and offer positively zero to society.

Kimberly Kardashian Picture

For example, the fourth season premiere of Keeping Up With the Kardashians somehow racked up 4.1 million viewers on Sunday night. 4.1 million! More women watched the episode than any in the network's history.

What could possibly prompt an individual to care about the scripted fortunes of Kourtney, Kim and Khloe Kardashian? We're actually asking. If you tuned in, please tell us why!

Fame could tear these sisters apart... or make them millions of dollars for using large boobs, a pregnancy and a fake marriage to draw viewers in to their TV show.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

You'll never believe this, but Kim Kardashian took to her Twitter account soon after sister Kourtney gave birth yesterday. Wrote Kim:

"I'm an auntie!!!! My little Mason Dash Disick is here!!! We are so happy!"

Kard Shark

From there - ON THE SAME DAY THEIR SISTER/DAUGHTER BECAME A FIRST-TIME MOTHER - Kim and Kris Jenner appeared on E!'s Chelsea Lately. Joked the host:

"When I found out [Kourtney] went into labor and had the baby, I said, 'Oh, do we have to get a replacement guest?' And [my producers] were like, 'No, they would never miss a television appearance.'"

How true. The only surprising thing was that Kim and Kris didn't drag newborn Mason in front of the camera along with them.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

This is getting really sad.

Kim Kardashian - the woman largely responsible for Speidi, Jersey Shore and other talentless people doing absolutely nothing in order to reap attention and money - has lost her innate ability to create headlines.

Kardashian Christmas Card

Just a few months ago, Kim would have posed for Playboy, banged a guy on video or at least stood on the red carpet in a tight top. Now? She's Tweeted a picture of herself at the dentist. Seriously.

“At the dentist for a good teeth cleaning!” she wrote. “This is serious!”

No, Kim, this is pathetic. Please take your clothes off again. That was a more respectable way to get attention...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Poor Kim Kardashian.

If it wasn't for her large breasts and her sex tape, America would never have been exposed to her useless, spoiled family.

Hi, Kim and Kourtney!

And how have her relatives paid Kim back for their elevation into the spotlight? By getting knocked up and married, thereby stealing headlines from the heretofore most famous sibling.

It's sad, really, especially as we've witnessed Kim stoop to new lows in order to get back into the good graces of the celebrity gossip world.

The reality star's latest, desperate attempt to make headlines includes a Twitter post made yesterday afternoon, shortly after being outfitted with blonde and brown hair extensions that had to be glued in for a photo shoot. She wrote:

"Those blonde streaks were extensions that they glued in 4 a shoot! It took hours to get them out - now I have this glue in my hair! Torture!"

Tweeted former prisoners at Abu Ghraib in response: "We'll show you torture!"

After whining about the streaks, Kim showed them off at last night's Cracked Christmas, an event benefiting the Trevor Project in Los Angeles.

What do you think of her look? We know most guys expect to see this when they hear about Kim Kardashian streaking, but they'll have to settle for oddly-colored fake hair instead.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It's rare for Kim Kardashian to wear clothing that doesn't accentuate her enormous breasts.

It's not rare, however, for her to make headlines for absolutely no reason at all.

With that in mind, Glamour has given the former sex tape star a "makeunder," which pretty much translates to sticking Kim in a baggy sweater and not applying enough makeup on her face to drown a kitten.

Asked about the toned-down look (below), Kardashian described it as the opposite of Ray J when he was banging her on video; i.e. “really soft."

  • Madeunder
  • For Glamour
  • Gorgeous in Glamour

Here's what else Kim told Glamour about her style, work ethic and relationship...

On career advice: “So many people think that everything will be handed to them, and that’s just not the case. You have to work for what you get.”

On who she's makeover: “Britney Spears. I feel I could style her a bit. I would love to see her hair glam and flowy.”

On contrasting hair colors: “I went blond last summer just to test it out. I felt like I was a different person, I swear. I do think blonds have more fun, but brunettes are sexier.”

On cooking for Reggie Bush: “I’m a great cook. His favorite meal is soul food: chicken and macaroni and cheese. That’s my specialty. I’ll cook it once a month with corn bread and greens. That I’ve mastered.

On marriage and/or baby urges: "I think about it all the time - it’s hard not to because of my family - but now isn’t my time.”

  • Classy Kim
  • Another Bikini Pic

Way above, Kim Kardashian is "madeunder." Directly above, she's donning her typical, scantily-clad outfits. Which look do you prefer?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Thank goodness Keeping Up with the Kardashians is returning with new episodes on Sunday, December 13.

After all, it's been far too long since Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian have been in the news. We've gone minutes without writing about their latest attention-seeking actions.

All Broken Up

The sisters - along with other family members that contribute nothing to society - premiere the fourth season of their reality show in less than two weeks. As the poster below teases: What a difference a year makes.

A few months ago, Kourtney wasn't pregnant and Khloe wasn't married. What would the new season have even focused on if the writers hadn't asked these siblings to make drastic life changes?

Tune in to E! on December 13 for new drama, new intrigue and to finally realize: you really need to get a life if you care at all how these people live theirs.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

One has made news recently because her husband may have cheated on her.

Another hasn't been relevant in years.

And the third is quickly disappearing before our eyes.

But Fergie, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian do have one major thing in common: similar taste in fashion.

On three separate occasions over the last few weeks, the three vixens were spotted out in a similar, cinched, patterned dress. Study the outfits below and then vote in our poll...

Threeway faceoff

Who looks best?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Note to Kim Kardashian: when you make Kate Bosworth look like the Rush Limbaugh, something is wrong.

Indeed, Kim Tweeted a photo of her emaciated self to followers last week, causing the Web to wonder what the heck happened to the formerly curvy, sexy amateur sex tape actress?

The answer: QuickTrim happened.

Kim and Khloe Kardashian sold themselves (and curvy girls eveywhere) out a long time ago, as they agreed to shill for a totally unhealthy weight loss system. On the home page for this cleansing product, the folks behind QuickTrim write: [Our] statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

Something to keep in mind for anyone that wants to follow the Kardashians' lead.

Sell Outs

On her most recent blog entry, Kim writes:

"I really feel like I have reached my fitness goal and now I am toned, fit and at a healthy weight and I just need to keep it up!"

From there, Kim posted photos (above) of her and Khloe in bikinis from a recent QuickTrim commercial shoot. They both look positively sick, gaunt and terrible.

At least the sisters are undoubtedly using the money from these campaigns to help third-world countries and those in poverty... NOT!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Those one-strap tops girls wear to clubs are one thing. One-strap (and one-sleeve) dresses passed off as high fashion on the red carpet? That's another faux pas.

These dresses, and the celebrities wearing them, look so lopsided and silly, it's like even they can't believe their stylists picked these frocks out for the evening.

Paris Hilton seems poutier than ever. Grey's Anatomy star Katherine Heigl seems more awkward than she does on the show she hates being on. As for Kim Kardashian?

Well, this is what Kim Kardashian does. She can struggle through anything to have her photo taken. Even wearing one shoulder pad above her one sleeve.

Whether these half-dresses are all the rage because of recession-caused fabric shortages, we can't say. But who wore this "fashion" trend best? Vote below!

One-Strapped Madness

Who looked the best in their one-sleeve dress?