by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It's rare for Kim Kardashian to wear clothing that doesn't accentuate her enormous breasts.

It's not rare, however, for her to make headlines for absolutely no reason at all.

With that in mind, Glamour has given the former sex tape star a "makeunder," which pretty much translates to sticking Kim in a baggy sweater and not applying enough makeup on her face to drown a kitten.

Asked about the toned-down look (below), Kardashian described it as the opposite of Ray J when he was banging her on video; i.e. “really soft."

  • Madeunder
  • For Glamour
  • Gorgeous in Glamour

Here's what else Kim told Glamour about her style, work ethic and relationship...

On career advice: “So many people think that everything will be handed to them, and that’s just not the case. You have to work for what you get.”

On who she's makeover: “Britney Spears. I feel I could style her a bit. I would love to see her hair glam and flowy.”

On contrasting hair colors: “I went blond last summer just to test it out. I felt like I was a different person, I swear. I do think blonds have more fun, but brunettes are sexier.”

On cooking for Reggie Bush: “I’m a great cook. His favorite meal is soul food: chicken and macaroni and cheese. That’s my specialty. I’ll cook it once a month with corn bread and greens. That I’ve mastered.

On marriage and/or baby urges: "I think about it all the time - it’s hard not to because of my family - but now isn’t my time.”

  • Classy Kim
  • Another Bikini Pic

Way above, Kim Kardashian is "madeunder." Directly above, she's donning her typical, scantily-clad outfits. Which look do you prefer?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Thank goodness Keeping Up with the Kardashians is returning with new episodes on Sunday, December 13.

After all, it's been far too long since Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian have been in the news. We've gone minutes without writing about their latest attention-seeking actions.

All Broken Up

The sisters - along with other family members that contribute nothing to society - premiere the fourth season of their reality show in less than two weeks. As the poster below teases: What a difference a year makes.

A few months ago, Kourtney wasn't pregnant and Khloe wasn't married. What would the new season have even focused on if the writers hadn't asked these siblings to make drastic life changes?

Tune in to E! on December 13 for new drama, new intrigue and to finally realize: you really need to get a life if you care at all how these people live theirs.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

One has made news recently because her husband may have cheated on her.

Another hasn't been relevant in years.

And the third is quickly disappearing before our eyes.

But Fergie, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian do have one major thing in common: similar taste in fashion.

On three separate occasions over the last few weeks, the three vixens were spotted out in a similar, cinched, patterned dress. Study the outfits below and then vote in our poll...

Threeway faceoff

Who looks best?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Note to Kim Kardashian: when you make Kate Bosworth look like the Rush Limbaugh, something is wrong.

Indeed, Kim Tweeted a photo of her emaciated self to followers last week, causing the Web to wonder what the heck happened to the formerly curvy, sexy amateur sex tape actress?

The answer: QuickTrim happened.

Kim and Khloe Kardashian sold themselves (and curvy girls eveywhere) out a long time ago, as they agreed to shill for a totally unhealthy weight loss system. On the home page for this cleansing product, the folks behind QuickTrim write: [Our] statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

Something to keep in mind for anyone that wants to follow the Kardashians' lead.

Sell Outs

On her most recent blog entry, Kim writes:

"I really feel like I have reached my fitness goal and now I am toned, fit and at a healthy weight and I just need to keep it up!"

From there, Kim posted photos (above) of her and Khloe in bikinis from a recent QuickTrim commercial shoot. They both look positively sick, gaunt and terrible.

At least the sisters are undoubtedly using the money from these campaigns to help third-world countries and those in poverty... NOT!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Those one-strap tops girls wear to clubs are one thing. One-strap (and one-sleeve) dresses passed off as high fashion on the red carpet? That's another faux pas.

These dresses, and the celebrities wearing them, look so lopsided and silly, it's like even they can't believe their stylists picked these frocks out for the evening.

Paris Hilton seems poutier than ever. Grey's Anatomy star Katherine Heigl seems more awkward than she does on the show she hates being on. As for Kim Kardashian?

Well, this is what Kim Kardashian does. She can struggle through anything to have her photo taken. Even wearing one shoulder pad above her one sleeve.

Whether these half-dresses are all the rage because of recession-caused fabric shortages, we can't say. But who wore this "fashion" trend best? Vote below!

One-Strapped Madness

Who looked the best in their one-sleeve dress?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kim Kardashian is koming to primetime.

And she's bringing Vanessa Minnillo with her.

Most incredibly, both of these beauties will be fully dressed when they guest star on the December 16 episode of CSI: NY.

The installment will also co-star MTV VJ LaLa Vasquez and Train singer Pat Monahan, the latter of whom implied in a recent interview that Kim may actually play a criminal. He said:

"I play Kim's boyfriend, a musician named Sam Baker. Kim helps me get a second chance, but she has an ulterior motive."

Might it be to get famous by flaunting her breasts and reading off scripts on reality TV? If so, this casting choice finally makes sense.

  • Kim Kardashian on CSI
  • Vanessa Minnillo on CSI

Click on the pics above for a closer look at Kim Kardashian and Vanessa Minnillo on CSI: NY.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Remember when Kim Kardashian was curvy, sexy and not an utter sellout?

We miss those days.

For the second time in the last few months, Kim has Tweeted a photo of herself in a bikini. The latest is accompanied with the message: "Quick Trim photo shoot today in Miami! I finally feel I've reached my goal!"

Apparently, her goal is to look at emaciated as humanly possible.

We really hope those Quick Trim bucks are worth it, Kim, as you've let curvy girls across America know the only acceptable look involves skin, bones and large breasts. Please, eat something - and try to not flush it out of your system with something no doctor on the planet would approve of...

  • Twit Pic
  • Kim Twitter Pic

Kim Kardashian before flushing her system out with an unhealthy weight loss supplement, and after. Which look do you prefer?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kim Kardashian rose to fame via a sex tape and has appeared naked in Playboy.

In other words: subtly is not her strong suit.

This doesn't bode well for Reggie Bush, as the reality TV took to her blog this week and showed the world what she'd look like in a wedding dress.

Granted, Kim claimed she was just modeling her mom's 30-year old frock for humor's sake, but who is she kidding? Kardashian donned this gown for two reasons only:

  1. To let Bush know she's ready for a ring;
  2. And to give bloggers a reason to write about her.

Consider the second mission accomplished, Kim. As for the first? Reg, the engagement ball is on your half of the field...

Wannabe Bride

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kim Kardashian gracing the cover of a random, heretofore unheard of magazine? Not unusual.

Kim Kardashian looking classy and (gasp!) clothed in that publication's pictorial? A sign of the Apocalypse.

But that's exactly what takes place in the December issue of Saturday Night. Just look at the (relatively) modest cover shot:

In her interview, of course, Kim sounds more like Kim. She praises the realism of her show and acts as though her publicist doesn't contact the paparazzi to snap her photos.

A few excerpts:

On Keeping Up with the Kardashians:" Sharing our lives on the show is actually very beneficial. The best feedback was the wedding special. Before, people were saying, “Khloé and Lamar met a month ago now they are getting married. This is crazy and it can’t be real.”

But, after seeing the wedding special you see the whole process of what their life is like together and how they fell in love. If anything, people are now saying they totally get it. It’s just the best way for us to tell our side of the story.

On celebrity gossip photographers: If you happen to shop down Robertson Blvd. then you know they’re going to be everywhere. It happens that I love to go to this nail salon in Beverly Hills where there are always paparazzi. At times it’s frustrating because I just want to get my nails done with no makeup on and in sweats. Times like those you just wish they weren’t around.

  • Cute Kim
  • Classy Kim
  • Awkward Pose

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

For months, Kim Kardashian has shamelessly plugged QuickTrim cleanser as a dieting system and we've given her well-deserved grief for selling out.

Therefore, we guess a few props are in order now that Kim is pitching Carl's Jr. Premium Salads in a new ad spot.

Kim Kardashian Bikini Cover

"I'm always down for a burger, I love them and I eat them," she said. "But this is the first commercial they've ever done for anything but a burger. The salads are healthy, and it totally fits what I'm about right now."

i.e. Whatever company is giving me money and putting my face on a billboard.

Of course, Kardashian can't sell anything without relying on her only positive characteristic: sex appeal.

She says she pitched the brand on a commercial that's centered on how she supposedly eats meals.

"I told them about my life and how I'm such a neat freak, but I love to have bed picnics: I put out my towel and eat in bed, and then when it gets all messy I take a hot bubble bath after to wash it off."

Only Kim Kardashian could go from sounding like a salad saleswoman to a sex phone operator over the course of one sentence. We can't decide if we're impressied or appalled by that talent.