by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Yesterday, we spoke to celebrity trainer Nicky Holender. He made it clear that famous people are easy to whip into shape because all are accustomed to hard work and ready for more of it when it comes to losing weight.

All except the Kardashians, that is.

These talentless, lazy sisters have a triple-pronged approach to weight loss:

  1. Take QuickTrim.
  2. Rely on airbrushing.
  3. Hire a publicist to line their pockets with magazine cover cash.

The tabloids eat it up because consumers, for reasons that defy comprehension, think that Kim Kardashian or anyone in her family has any clue at all about healthy living. Just this week alone, these two cover stories are available on newsstands:

  • QuickTrim Bodies
  • Diet Experts

What sage words does Kim offer about losing weight? She tells Life & Style that it's important to east breakfast. STOP THE PRESSES!

Of course, it also helps to helps to get Botox injections; and Kardashian also says she tries to get as much protein as possible throughout the day.

Cristiano Ronaldo can probably help Kim with that.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The rumors have followed her around for years, but Kim Kardashian has always been in denial.

No, we're not referring to the belief that this professional celebrity has no actual talent. Kim still won't own up to that.

Kardashians Redbook Cover

But did she come clean to ABC's Nightline yesterday, confirming that she's undergone Botox injections. Kim claims "that's the only thing I've done," denying talk that her nose is fake.

"What's funny about my nose, it's my biggest insecurity," she told reporter Cynthia McFadden. "I went to the doctor, I had them take the pictures, he showed me what it would look like and it just didn't - I wouldn't look the same."

As for those enormous boobs? Kim has maintained they've always been huge, and actually delivered a funny line when asked about her famous cleavage again: "Trust me honey, if I take this bra off you will tell me I need to get them done."

Kourtney has had hers done. She was on hand for the Nightline special and said: "I have had breast implants, but it's so funny 'cause it's not a secret, I could care less."

Of course, all of this begs the question: What the heck was Nightline doing interviewing the Kardashians?!? Have we officially run out of real news to focus on?

by Free Britney at . Comments

Move over, Ray J and Kim Kardashian. You've had your graphic moment. Justin Frye and Kendra Wilkinson are the new king and queen of celebrity sex tape sales.

Yup, the Kendra tape we originally doubted was even real is not only legit, but legit XXX box office gold - more than Kim's popular tape. And it's not even out yet!

Football Lovers

Pre-sales for the Kendra Wilkinson sex tape are the biggest in Vivid Entertainment history, topping Kim, Mindy McCready, Shauna Sand, Kelli McCarty, and so on.

Kim's not exactly hurting for kash these days, of kourse, so we doubt she kares. But it's somewhat surprising the Kendra tape has garnered this much interest.

The only real question is ...

Who would you rather watch somebody put it to?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Well, at least she isn't posting naked pictures of herself as a toddler...

The day after Khloe Kardashian made a desperate fool out of herself with such photos, sister Kim released images that at least serve some purpose. And allow us to write a punny, immature headline.

Kim Kardashian in a Bathing Suit

On her official blog, Kim published a few shots of herself and a cat in Australia. Reportedly, these are outtakes from some photo shoot she posed in Down Under, but we assume most readers only care about one thing: they prominently feature Kim's cleavage:

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

As a celebrity gossip blogger, Kim Kardashian is a God send. She provides endless material with which we can mock the heck out of this utterly talentless reality star.

But Kim herself has not had the same luck with The Man Upstairs. In the latest issue of Shape, she shares what life was like as a big-breasted child.

Another Bikini Pic

Because her boobs were so much bigger than anyone else at the age of 10, Kim says "I remember crying in the bathtub... I took a washcloth, made it hot, put it over my chest and prayed, ‘Please don't let them grow any bigger. They're embarrassing me.'"

And did God heed this prayer? YOU TELL US.

Thanks to her large breasts, Kim Kardashian is famous. Thanks to an unhealthy diet of QuickTrim and Photoshop experts, she looks like this.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We've all seen Kim Kardashian asking for it from Ray J, when this singer pounded this reality star on video.

That act led to international acclaim for Kardashian.

The Wedding of the Year!

Earlier this week, however, Kim appeared to be asking for it from Justin Bieber fans - but instead of sexual satisfaction and a career as a professional celebrity, the returns on this plea may be a lot more dangerous.

At an autograph signing that fans actually, incomprehensibly attended, Kim held up the following shirt:

The reference reverts back to Kardashian's Twitter joke about Bieber being her boyfriend, something that became no laughing matter when his insane followers threatened to murder Kim.

How will they react to this (misspelled) article of clothing and this overt taunting? Time, and many angry Tweets, will tell.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

At a Los Angeles boutique yesterday, fans lined up for hours to get the autographs of Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian.

These total wastes of space sisters signed items in honor of the launch of their new jewelry line "Kardashian Collection by Virgin Saints + Angel."

Such an event got us wondering, WHO THE HECK WANTS AN AUTOGRAPH FROM THE KARDASHIANS?!?

The siblings are known simply for filming themselves having sex, having a child out of wedlock and marrying a NBA star purely for money and attention. That's it. They offer nothing else to society.

Are we grateful they exist because they make us laugh and look pretty good naked? Of course. But would we waste one nanosecond of our lives waiting to get their autograph? No.

Signing Sisters
  • Khloe Kardashian and Kim Kardashian
  • Hi, Kim and Kourtney!
  • Two!
  • Signing
  • A Kim Stare

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Because causing a riot in Australia and trampling over a middle-aged woman in New Zealand weren't clear enough signs that Justin Bieber fans are certifiably insane, the group proved just how ridiculous its affection for Bieber can be when it threatened to murder Kim Kardashian last week.

Seriously, a series of Bieber lovers Tweeted death threats to Kim after she joked about Justin as her boyfriend. What did these Tweets say?

"They sent me messages like, 'If I ever see you in the streets, I will kill you! You took my man!'" Kardashian told Us Weekly. "I got a few today. One said, 'I will shank you.' Not too sure what a 'shank' is."

Hmmm... maybe these two are actually perfect for each other. After all, Bieber doesn't know what the word "German" is.

It's Kim!

Kim is putting on a brave front in the face of these threats. She won't let the terrorists win!

"I still have Bieber fever," she says. "It’s not his fault that all the Beiber fans are after me. They're all young, so I’m hoping that it's all just in fun and that they seriously don’t mean it."

So are we. Who will THG mock and insult for her publicity-garnering, hypocritical ways if Kim is dead?

Well, her sisters. But still.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Katy Perry has been named No. 1 on Maxim's 2010 Hot 100 List. That is awesome for her. We are big Katy fans, and don't mean to discredit her here, but ...

Blake Lively is fourth. Megan Fox fifth. Marisa Miller is tenth. Tenth.

Last year's winner, Olivia Wilde, fell to 20th. Was she in an accident we're not aware of? What gives? How did the future Mrs. Russell Brand pull this off?

Perry is "a triple - no, quadruple - kind of hot," Maxim Editor-in-Chief Joe Levy says. "It's like that feeling you get when you suddenly realize that the smartest, funniest, coolest girl you know also happens to the best looking."

You buying that?

Hot List Topper

Does Katy Perry deserve her Hot List title?

Don't get us wrong, she seems really cool and Katy Perry pictures are easy on the eyes too. But #1? Let's see how Maxim's rankings match up with yours, readers:

Who would you have voted for atop the Hot List?

 

  • Hottest Blake Lively Photo
  • Decked Out
  • Zoe Saldana Fashion
  • Limber
  • Rihanna in Paris
  • Olivia Munn Nude Pic
  • Another Bikini Pic

by Free Britney at . Comments

Friday, THG readers were given the task of writing the best caption for this picture of hypokritical celebrities Khloe and Kim Kardashian guzzling QuikTrim.

Your winner for this edition of our Caption Contest is nowingsnow.

Kim, in Australia

Congratulations! The winning caption appears below. Honorable mentions go to LucianGemini and Frank. Follow the above link for all entries sent in.

Thank you to everyone for playing and good luck next time!

Kim: Khloe you are lucky, Lamar did not know about "why buy the 'cow' when he could have milked you through the fence."
Khloe: Instead, he bought the "whole farm."

Kim Kardashian Biography

Kim Kardashian, Boobs Kim Kardashian is the ex-girlfriend of Nick Cannon, Reggie Bush and Ray J. She had intercourse on camera with the former, which is what... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kimberly Noel Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Quotes

So far, designing is the most exciting thing I’ve done... I have a vision of what I want [the clothes] to look like in my mind and it’s fun to see it come alive on paper.

Kim Kardashian

He just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto.

Kim Kardashian [on Barack Obama]
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