by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We can at least say the following about this week's Kardashian tabloid coverage:

It doesn't only feature Kim in a bikini.

It does, however, focus on exaggerations and lies surrounding the world's least talented, most photographed family.

First, Life & Style quotes Kim and claims she has broken up with Miles Austin and is now SINGLE AGAIN.

Referring to the fifth season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the busty reality star tells the magazine: "I think this is the first time I've ever really been single filming the show. You'll see me single and having a good time."

There's just one problem with this supposed exclusive...

... Keeping Up with the Kardashians was filmed MONTHS ago. In the new trailer for it, we see a single Kim meeting and dating Austin. Nice try, though, Life & Style!

Us Weekly, meanwhile, breaks the news that Kourtney, Khloe and Kim are TORN APART due to Kourtney's relationship with Scott Disick. However, Kris Jenner, Scott's main critic, recently gave the loser a stamp of approval.

Still, a family insider claims "there have been knock-down, drag-out fights between the girls over Scott."

Look, tabloids of the world. These siblings waste enough of our time by pimping themselves out and sharing every nugget of their lives with the public. Must you really give them even more attention than they already have?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Prepare for more death threats, Kim Kardashian.

The large-breasted reality star, who was legitimately threatened for posing with Justin Bieber at a White House event in May, will likely face more vitriol from a few million teenage girls when the new issue of Elle hits newsstands.

That's because it features a multi-photo spread of Kim and Justin, one whose theme Kardashian blogged today "was The Graduate, for obvious reasons, LOL."

In that 1967 movie, Dustin Hoffman's young character is seduced, and bedded, by a much older woman. It's fine if Kim wants to laugh out loud over that reference, but she better not make any other sounds out loud around Justin... if you know what we mean!

  • For Elle
  • Kim with Justin

What's Ewww? Click on the photos above to enlarge shots of Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber at play.

Really, the only thing more nauseating than this pictorial is the official trailer for the new season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber are flirtatious friends.

In fact, they're featured in a new Elle magazine spread together, the first images from which you can view HERE.

But these popular celebrities will become heated rivals in the fall, as their respective memoirs are scheduled to hit stores within a month of one another. Yesterday, we gave readers an early glimpse at the cover for "First Step 2 Forever: My Story."

Now, Kim and her equally useless sisters have released the featured image for "Kardashian Konfidential." The autobiography will be released on November 23 and couldn't be more misleading: when was the last time anyone in this family kept anything confidential?!?

Compare the covers below and then vote:

Justin Bieber Book Cover

Which cover do you like best?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In the following trailer for Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Bruce Jenner says he's "sick and tired of all of this."

The former Olympian is referring to contrived problems in his marriage, but he might as well be speaking for millions of individuals who shake their heads over the deterioration of society, largely exemplified by the interest in this utterly talentless family.

Among the previewed developments writers have penned and producers have set up for Khloe, Kourtney, Kim and company on the new season, which premieres August 22:

  • Kim is set up with Miles Austin, and gets upset over texts to "whores."
  • Kris flirts with a younger man.
  • Scott Disick complains about his quasi in-laws and threatens a move to New York.
  • Kim compliments Khloe on her vagina. 

Watch the promo below and ask yourself: Is this really what television has devolved into?

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Do you wanna look like THIS?

If so, you're in luck: Kourtney, Khloe and Kim Kardashian have confirmed that they will partner with Australian designer Bruno Schiavi's Jupi Corp. to create a line of clothing. It will debut early next year and include accessories, lingerie, swimwear and shoes.

Half of Kush

"We obviously waited on a big partnership like this for a long time because we've had so many different offers and we wanted to make sure that we had a huge say in the design and that our personalities would come through," Kim said.

Their personalities would come through? Does this mean all outfits inspired by Kim will resemble a robot?

These sisters own a pair of Dash clothing stores in California and Miami (though THG reporting proves the Florida establishment is rarely actually open for business) and also designed a fall line for Bebe this year.

The new collection will hit major retail stores in 17 countries in 2011 and be comprised of pieces that flatter all body types, including ugly one-shoulder dresses, jumpsuits, blazers and leggings.

"All three of us have similar bones, but we have different shapes and sizes," Khloe said. "I'm tall, Kim is curvy and Kourtney is petite - and we know how to dress up our best assets."

Translation: they show off their big breasts a lot.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We're still waiting for Demi Lovato to explain why Kim Kardashian is her fashion icon.

The useless reality star was spotted at dinner in Hollywood last week in a dress that appeared to be put on inside-out and upside-down.

We're all for the accentuation of the breasts, but why is there a poofy sleeve and a random strap across the top? Why not just eliminate these extraneous pieces of fabric? Can anyone out there say they make the outfit look better?

We're actually asking. Vote below.

  • What an Ugly Dress
  • Solid Cleavage

[Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Do you like Kim's dress?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

For once, Kim Kardashian is asking fans to focus on a body part other than her cleavage.

The talentless reality star has partnered with Loren Jewels creator Loren Ridinger on a luxury line of earrings called the “Kim Kollection." Did you really expect it to be named anything else?

This 20-piece set will incorporate diamonds, emeralds, rubies and other precious stones and be available for purchase on September 1, just in time for Kim and her family to pimp it out on the season premiere of their show.

“Kim’s a fashion icon and millions of people are inspired by her style making. Our collaboration on the ‘Kim Kollection’ is a natural fit,” said Ridinger, failing to see the irony in referring to anything involving Kim as "natural."

Modeling an example of her jewelry line above, Kim is wearing 24 karat gold earrings. It's unknown how much these will cost, but know this before you start counting your allowance money: The least expensive item in the Kollection will be sold for $10,000.

What do you think? Are these worth saving for?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Since we definitely aren't exposed to Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian enough on Khloe and Kourtney Take Miami, we'll soon be Keeping Up some more.

A new season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians premieres August 22.

Try to contain the excitement of finally learning what these secretive stars are up to. We've barely heard from them since the last season ended. Suspense!

The first episode will show newly-single Kim moving into her new home, but fighting with mother Kris Jenner after she throws a housewarming party.

Guests spill food all over Kim's expensive rugs. Gripping television.

Signing Sisters

KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS SEASON THREE: GETTIN' KRUNK. That's not really what it will be subtitled of kourse, but a celebrity gossip site can dream.

In another scene, Kourtney - spoiler alert!!!!!! - moves out of the condo she shares with douchetastic BF Scott Disick and into Khloe and Lamar Odom's pad.

But the producer Kourtney decides she needs to move out once Khloe and Disick get into a screaming match and Khloe refuses to let him into her home.

Little sisters Kylie Jenner, who just debuted as a model, and Kendall Jenner, whose racy bikini pictures recently caused a stir - will have bigger roles as well.

The network says they're "no longer the quiet, young children they once were, and Bruce and Kris have their hands full with their youngest daughters' new career opportunities, first dates and not so lady-like behavior towards the paparazzi."

Kylie is 12 and Kendall is 14. Great values, E!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Miles Austin, step off. Your celebrity girlfriend has some competition.

Dallas Cowboys teammate Tony Romo, who has already dated Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson, is now dating former Miss Missouri Candice Crawford.

  • Kim Kardashian, Post-Meal
  • Candice Crawford Image

The sister of Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford happens to be Dallas sports reporter now. Conflict of interest much? Bet he gives her some real exclusives ...

... if you know what we're talking about!

Anyway, Candice was one of two special spectators this past Sunday at the Cowboys' practice: Kim Kardashian, Miles Austin's girlfriend, was also on hand.

Both watched practice from a private suite. Can the 'Boys succeed amid this media circus? Will Dallas fans throw Candice under the bus if they suck? Will the famed Kardashian title-delivering string of good luck continue? Time will tell.

The more important question is ...

Who's hotter?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

For reasons that defy comprehension, Kim Kardashian is considered a fashion icon.

We could spend days questioning this classification - but, instead, we'll simply accept it and pass along a number of company shills tips Kim recently offered in the pages of InStyle. Follow along if you wish to look your best...

Find a Great Tailor
"Anything you wear should be proportioned to your body, and a good tailor will make sure everything fits perfectly. I either have my tailor at every fitting or I have my stylist pin my wardrobe and take it to the tailor before I wear anything. Shortening a hem line on a dress can make a huge difference!"

Accentuate the Waist
"Show off that tiny waist! Adding a belt makes your outfit look more polished. I have great belts from Phillip Lim and Alaia. Vintage belts are one of a kind and can be affordable too."

  • Eyebrow Wax
  • In Love with Herself

Avoid Baggy Clothing
"I know they are comfortable and they look amazing on Nicole Richie but flowy tops and dresses are not flattering on a curvy figure. They can make you look pregnant and they look sloppy in photos. Try wearing a maxidress instead. A.L.C, Torn by Ronny Kobo and T Bags make some great ones."

Embrace Shapewear
"Every woman from a size 0-14 should own Spanx! I love Shapewear by Body Wrap; they have a firm control long leg panty that makes my body look smoother and slimmer under fitted dresses without leaving any lines."

Love Those Curves!
"Being confident and owning your body is sexy. I love to show off my curves and designers like Thatcher, Antonio Berardi, Preen, Altuzarra, Markus Lupfer and Brian Lichtenberg make amazing dresses that fit my body perfectly."