by Hilton Hater at . Comments

This is very sad.

Just two weeks after OK! Weekly invented a dream wedding scenario for Kim Kardashian, the magazine has now predicted the future and quoted a source who says Kris Humphries will betray the large-boobed reality star.

Bianka Kamber, who dated the Nets forward for two years, tells the tabloid Kim might find herself heartbroken before she ever walks down the aisle because Kris "won't go through with it."

Kim Kardashian: Betrayed!

With what? Another friend swears Humphries will ask for Kardashian's giant breasts in marriage on April 8. He's already chosen the ring "and anytime she leaves, even for a minute, he just acts like a guy completely smitten.”

Fortunately, Humphries can always pop in the video of Kim banging Ray J and be reminded of his true love.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

For her first fragrance, Kim Kardashian came up with the witty name "Kim Kardashian." Pretty much sums up the creativity of these plastic reality star, doesn't it?

But at least Kardashian has now realized she needs assistance. The stiff pile of breasts Tweeted to followers last night: heading to a fragrance meeting. I need a name for my new perfume! Any cool ideas?

Getting Nails Done

We're so very glad you asked, Kim. A few suggestions:

  • Expressionless as Drywall by Kim K.
  • Eau de Ray J
  • SHILL
  • Scent of a Talentless Woman

Your turn! What would you name Kim Kardashian's upcoming perfume?

by Free Britney at . Comments

It's the moment we've waited for this entire wash of a season: Khloe arrived.

However, we weren't given enough time with the married old gal to measure how much we've missed her. The producers thought it would be a great idea to devote half the 22 minutes to Scott, who had landed himself the May cover of Men's Fitness (whyyyy?).

The remainder focused on Kim's sour puss, a result of the lollipops-and-gummi bears relationship between her oldest and youngest sisters. This isn't a shock, as we've seen Kourtney and Khloe play odd-man-out with Kim for the past four years.

As one of three girls, I'll admit this happens from time to time. But it's clear that the producers were searching for a storyline and know how well Khloe and Kourtney's dynamic is received by the viewers. Tough break, Kimmy. Call up Kris.

She'll hang with you. Scott Disick would do it, but he's too busy dreaming of his Men's Fitness wardrobe. Gucci and Tom Ford and fast cars, oh my!

I spent the first ten minutes gagging thanks to Scott. He saunters into the suite and tells his beloved that Men's Fitness has selected him for their May cover.

Then the jabs begin (even more reason to love Kourtney): Scott doesn't work out, why would they pick him... that sort of thing.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

One day, she's pregnant. The next day, she's engaged. In between, of course, she's getting plastic surgery across various parts of her body.

How does Kim Kardashian deal with all the tabloid chatter?

"Rumors don't bother me anymore," she tells the latest issue of Self. "I've read that I've had my lips done... I've had my nose done... And how many times have I 'had my butt done?' People's logic is so weird. I don't know why they bother!"

Kim Kardashian Self Magazine Cover

Kim has quite the dating track record, of course, from Reggie Bush to Miles Austin to current beau Kris Humphries, but there's one star to whom she says she never cozied up.

"One time [reports] said I was dating Terrence Howard and I was on his lap at his party. I don't even know what they were talking about. They said I went home with him, too!"

The nerve of these publications. Why don't they just focus on Kardashian's actual talents and impressive accomplishments? Such as... hmmm... let's see... there's gotta be something, right?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Want an early look at Kim Kardashian's wedding to Kris Humphries? You won't get it in this week's issue of OK!.

Despite proclamations of a KARDSHIAN EXCLUSIVE and a headline that screams KIM'S DREAM WEDDING, juxtaposed over what appears to be a wedding portrait, the following anonymous quote is the extent of this tabloid's in-depth coverage on this imaginary story:

"Kim falls fast and hard, and this time is no exception. Kris makes her laugh, gives her confidence, makes her smile... Plus, with Kris, things are different. He knew what he was getting himself into, and he says that Kim is everything he expected and more.”

Kim Getting Married?!?

We can only imagine what Kris expected. An empty personality, a giant set of breasts and the world's best marketing team?

Expect these two to get engaged about the same time that Kim's single earns a Grammy nomination.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It doesn't rhyme with any other words, but how does orange stack up against other colors when it comes to celebrity fashion?

That's the question at the center of this THG Face-Off, as Kim Kardashian goes up against Selena Gomez and Amy Adams. All three recently attended public events in similar shaded dresses and all three looks very pretty in them.

But, let's face it, there can only be one winner. Compare, contrast and vote below.

Fashion Face-Off!

Kim vs. Selena vs. Amy. It's totally on between this trio of beauties. Which star looks best in orange? View Poll »

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kim Kardashian is an absolute bore. Seriously, did you see this week's episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York?

But say this about the reality star... ummm... well... let's see... she knows how to use Twitter!

Kim got her "ganster on" at Eva Longoria's birthday party Saturday night, attending the 1920s-themed bash and posing with fellow attendees such as Heidi Klum.

She Tweeted the following photos from the event, so she could continue to make millions off followers who somehow don't understand that they are nothing but a dollar sign to her give us a taste of the atmosphere:

  • Kim Goes Gangster
  • Heidi Klum and Kim Kardashian

by Free Britney at . Comments

We're fast approaching the point of too much Kardashian (quite frankly, I think we may already be past that point). Ryan Seacrest and his minions need a new formula, because the current one of Kim plus Kourtney and too much of Scott Disick isn't working.

Once upon a time Kris and Co. were a guilty pleasure, and we'd happily wait around for Khloe to tip Kourtney upside down like a teapot. 

Here in the city that never sleeps, though, the viewers find ourselves dozing off during Kourtney & Kim Take New York. Why are we so bored, you ask?

It's the dynamic between Kourtney and Kim. We've been over this a few times. As sultry (and a bit slutty) as Kim Kardashian might appear on print, she doesn't have much on-screen appeal.

The only time we get a chuckle out of the buxom brunette is when Kourt and Khloe make a joke at her expense. We're all well aware now why Kourtney and Khloe play favorites with one another - it's because Kim is snoozy and a little self-centered.

If we're going to be forced to endure more Kardashian invasion, let's at least bring in the players that entertain us. Even Kourtney's struggling to keep our attention this go-round, and giving Scott more airtime isn't helping things.

It was much better when he tinkered around in the background. Remember season one of Keeping Up With The Kardashians? He was just Kourtney's younger boyfriend, sometimes around for tapings, but oftentimes on the other coast.

Let's revisit that formula, because it worked well for everyone.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

When does the brother of a comedian, dryly reading lyrics from a newly-released track, actually sound better than the track itself?

When the artist of the single in question is Kim Kardashian.

On an episode of her E! talk show this week, Chelsea Handler took at aim an easy target and hit a humorous bulls-eye. She called out her brother to recite such gems from Kim's "Jam (Turn It Up)" as how the star is "feeling so good," and "feeling so right" and, of course, "feeling so great."

Could this be done with almost any top 40 pop song? Probably. But that doesn't make the clip any less funny...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Boning. That's why Kim Kardashian is famous. Ray J tagging it on tape.

While she's no amateur porn star (there's still time) Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans is "famous" for similar reasons. Getting naked and ending up with a kid.

So you really have to wonder if there's ever been a klearer kase of the pot kalling the kettle black when Jenelle rips Kim's krappy new song on Twitter:

"Kim Kardashian .. dude that song sucks u made lol sorry to say makes me think even more to myself, why r u famous again?" Lmao. Valid point, but ...

WHY R U FAMOUS? For Jenelle and Kim, these pics answer that.

It's possible that Jenelle's kriticism was rooted in Kim's recent komments about Teen Mom. The ho-cialite encouraged girls not to look up to MTV stars.

Jenelle seems to agree with Kim, though. Her recent Us Weekly cover story bore the headline "I'm Not Ready to Be a Mom." Not a huge glamorization.

Also, Evans apparently doesn't mind other members of the Kardashian krew.

The mother of Jace recently Tweeted to Kim's younger sibling: "@KhloeKardashian lol u make me laugh u tweet like every 2 mins it's crazy."

So we think we've got Jenelle figured out. In summation, Khloe and Lamar promo plus Tweeting equals comedy. Kim Kardashian singing equals STFU!

Kim Kardashian Biography

Kim Kardashian, Boobs Kim Kardashian is the ex-girlfriend of Nick Cannon, Reggie Bush and Ray J. She had intercourse on camera with the former, which is what... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kimberly Noel Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Quotes

So far, designing is the most exciting thing I’ve done... I have a vision of what I want [the clothes] to look like in my mind and it’s fun to see it come alive on paper.

Kim Kardashian

He just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto.

Kim Kardashian [on Barack Obama]
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