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Ashton Kutcher says he's in training for the Apocalypse. With that, and the following news, in mind, we have a message for the actor: step it up. The End of Days is nearly upon us...

Multiple sources confirm that Kim Kardashian really will release a music video in the near future, and Kanye West will play a key role in it!

  • Up Klose with Kim
  • Kanye in NYC

TMZ reports the video was shot in Los Angeles on December 28, while Kim Tweeted the following on that date: “OMG u guys have no idea what I’m doing today! You are gonna DIE!!!!”

In October, Kim and Kanye were spotted together on multiple occasions. We assumed they were dating. But now we know better.

Or worse, we should say. Now we know much, much worse.

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Kim Kardashian received the Christmas present of her dreams this weekend. No, it wasn't a lifetime supply of QuickTrim.

"Best Christmas gift ever! Mason said KIM!," the professional star Tweeted. "Kourtney told me, I didn't believe her then he said it to me! I almost cried!"

Choosing Her Balls

The Celebrity of the Year Finalists celebrated the holidays by attending the Lakers game against the Heat and also by attending a screening of Little Fockers.

It's hard to imagine which of those was more depressing for the family: Los Angeles' blow-out loss to Miami, or the sad state of Robert DeNiro's career.

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With 2010 drawing to a close, it is with much pride that THG unveils its 10 finalists for its prestigious, Fourth Annual Celebrity of the Year award.

These stars all gave us their best, their worst, their nude pics (sometimes) and their scandals (often). This month, THG honors that greatness.

After Charlie Sheen checked in at #6 with his disturbing list of drug-fueld antics and attacks, we present Celebrity of the Year finalist #5 ... All of the Kardashians!

Signing Books, Autographs

We can't choose just one sibling, after all. By having babies, constantly talking about their weight and placing their name on any product, Khloe, Kourtney and Kim all made headline after headline in 2010.

Heck, youngsters Kylie and Kendall Jenner even got in on the act.

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If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then a couple THG favorites should be feeling very good about themselves today.

Over the weekend, Saturday Night Live dedicated a pair of skits to Miley Cyrus and the Kardashian sisters. First, we were treated to the third edition of The Miley Cyrus Show.

This time, the guest was Nick Nolte and the topic was Miley's scandalous smoking of salvia. Watch now, as cast member Vanessa Bayer plays Miley in a spoof that, you must admit, is pretty cool:

Then, to close the final SNL of 2010, the series brought out the Kardashian sisters for a holiday message. We're grateful to Kim, Khloe and Kourtney for taking time away from whatever it is they do and we present the video below.

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Kim Kardashian has bad news for all professional athletes: she doesn't plan on dating again over the next calendar year.

"I want to try to be single my whole year of being 30," Kim said during an appearance on The Rachael Ray Show today. "I've never just dated and done whatever I wanted."

Still Single

On one hand, Kim thinks remaining single will be simple - "I have a hundred different jobs," she lies. "When do I have time to really focus on someone?" - but on another, she's already backing off the statement she just made.

"I've made a promise to myself and I'm really trying hard to stick to it, but I'm such a hopeless romantic that it's hard. I don't think that's going to last, because that's just how I am. But the fact that I'm trying is a big step for me!"

We can think of one way to keep the men away, Kim: show them your family's frightening Christmas card.

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The Kardashians have a message for fans: merry Christmas!

Actually, they have a few messages for fans: merry Christmas, check out how beautiful we are, purchase the designer clothes on our backs, click around our blogs to see more photos from this shoot, increase our number of page views and make us as much money as possible.

That's just how this family rolls. Check out its really creepy holiday card below and watch behind the scenes coverage of the pictorial in this video.

Kardashian Christmas Card

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From WORLD EXCLUSIVES to HOLIDAY MIRACLES, a pair of supermarket tabloids have the Kardashians covered this week.

There's just one problem: no one in that family is pregnant or planning to adopt any children. Other than that, these stories are 100% accurate...

  • A Baby for Kim!
  • Not Having Babies

In one of the funnier made-up quotes of the year, an imaginary source claims Kim Kardashian will use her trip to South Africa this month to scout potential children for adoption.

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Lala Vazquez is nothing but supportive of good friend Kim Kardashian. To an almost laughable extent.

Asked by E! News about her pal's rumored new boy toy, New Jersey Nets power forward Kris Humphries, Vasquez - who is married to pro basketball star Carmelo Anthony - said:

"All the NBA guys are good guys and my friends. I just want my friend to be happy, whoever it is."

That sentiment is sweet, but her next comment regarding Kim is closer to delusional.

Vasquez says she's "very impressed with [Kim's] voice" and actually looking forward to an album from this talentless reality star.

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It's official: there's no item to which Kim Kardashian will refuse to attach her name.

You'd think someone who raked in six million dollars this year and who gets paid to simply stand on the red carpets of events would try to be selective in this area. Why not try to serve as some kind of role model, right?

Wrong, folks! This is America! It's Kim's right to hawk an at-home laser hair treatment product that sells for $495 and guarantees "permanent, professional results."

Kim Kardashian product

After all, if you're gonna be losing weight by following Kim's advice and sitting on the toilet for days at a time, you probably won't be able to leave the house.

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Kim Kardashian went boy crazy in New York City last night.

First, she hung out with Justin Bieber at Z100's Jingle Ball, taking in the singer's impressive set and posing flirtatiously with him backstage. Try not to hurl anything at your computer screens when viewing this photo, Bieberites...

Skin Tight Skirt

Then, Kim met up with New Jersey Nets basketball player and rumored new lover Kris Humphries. The pair parties Provocateur Lounge until 1:45 a.m.

At the aforementioned concert, Kim told Us Weekly she wants to date someone "with a good heart." And, hey if that someone can also get her first-row seats at nationally-televised sporting events, she'll take that perk, too.