by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Scott Disick, he is not.

According to Bruce Jenner, Kim Kardashian has found someone who fits in well with the family. Asked about Kris Humphries at Friday's BBVA Celebrity All Star Game, Jenner told Us Weekly:

"He's a very nice guy. He's been over the house. It's very different for Kim."

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

How different? A friend of Kim's claims she wants to squeeze out a little Kris ASAP.

"Kim really wants to have Kris' baby, and she's told him multiple times," the insider said, echoing a Tweet Kardashian sent out a couple weeks ago that showed a photo of Humphries and read: "I want my son to look like this."

Adds the source: "Her nickname for Kris is 'The Roman' since he's so statuesque. Maybe that's why she wants to have his babies!"

No way. Would Kim Kardashian really be so shallow?!?

by Free Britney at . Comments

We learned a few days ago that the Kardashian family grossed $65 million in 2010, and guess what? We're alllllllllllll to blame. You, me, the little girl clutching her copy of Kardashian Konfidential. They're an intriguing family, that bunch.

What started out as another reality show in 2007 has snowballed into an enormous empire made up of slutty clothes and sexually-charged commercials.

Somewhere in a holding cell, Paris Hilton is seething.

Sunday on Kourtney & Kim Take New York, Kim ushered in year 30 with a heavy heart. The-one-with-the-derriere says she imagined herself married with kids by this milestone. Instead she's a bona fide sex symbol/entrepeneur rolling in cash.

This is not a deviation I would spend my birthday moments crying over.

I'd be too busy simultaneously patting myself on the back while throwing dollar bills from my hotel room screaming, "I don't have to battle the baby weight and I haven't married the wrong man! AND I just bought myself another Birkin!"  

Birthdays are difficult for a lot of us. Yet Kim's birthday is treated as a national holiday in the land of Kardashian (population: pretty much everyone). Kim walks into her suite at the Smythe to find the dining room table covered in gifts and flowers.

The viewers were hoping for a little more gratitude, but were prepared for a puss. Kim searched the table for flowers from a cute guy, but all she found was expensive crap from every sort of platonic relation possible. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

WOW!! Where do the mags come up with this stuff? And claiming exclusives? Come on now. - Kourtney Kardashian, in response to OK! Weekly claiming she and Scott Disick were engaged, the proposal to be featured on the season finale of her reality show.

It's important to note: nowhere in that Tweet does Kourtney deny the report.

Rumors of Kourtney's engagement - a source says she "wears the ring at home" all the time - is now fueled by a second tabloid covering the same story, although its credibility must be questioned because it also states Kim Kardashian is engaged to Kris Humphries. She's not.

Possibly Engaged

By now, we can only hope consumers are catching on:

The Kardashians rake in MILLIONS by letting magazines plaster their faces on the cover. No harm is done, the sisters can speak out against the reports, thereby bringing attention to publication and raising sales figures. Everyone wins.

Except the ignorant patrons who purchase these rags.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We're just this big family with a lot of drama and a lot of issues, and there's someone here for everyone to relate to. - Kris Jenner to The Hollywood Reporter.

In case it wasn't obvious before how similar the Kardashians were to Sarah Palin, this quote and its affiliated article, which takes us inside the world of Kim, Khloe and company, makes it more apparent than ever: both parties have perfected the art of coming across like the Average Joe...

Oscar Party Pic

... while raking in the sort of cash scarcely seen by the average stock broker. In 2010 alone, it's now been revealed, the Kardashian made $65 million. That's about 65 million more dollars than positive contributions made to society.

As the clear brains behind the family's financial success, Kris Jenner tells the trade she was faced with a dilemma when the Kim Kardashian sex tape came out in 2007:

I had to cry and get upset in the privacy of my own room and then come out and help her, because she's my daughter... All I knew was that I had to make some lemonade out of these lemons fast. Real fast... My job was trying to take my kids' 15 minutes and turn it into 30."

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

There comes a point in life where you just grow apart and you realize you're not as similar as you thought. - Kim Kardashian to Harper's Bazaar, regarding her friendship with Paris Hilton.

Fortunately, any ice between these two sex tape stars officially melted on Sunday night, as sources confirm the pair had a pleasant exchange at an Interscope Records Grammy party.

“Paris and Kim warmly embraced and genuinely seemed happy to see each other," a witness told Radar Online. "Kim wished Paris a happy birthday... Paris thanked her for the kind things she said about [her] in the Haper's Bazaar interview."

  • Playing Party Host
  • Paris Hilton Photograph

Kim and Paris were BFFs for years, of course, as the latter gave the former such vital tips as where to best place the camera when letting your boyfriend rail you for fame and money.

Since then, Kardashian has out Hilton-ed Hilton, taking a lack of talent to previously unimaginable, nauseating levels.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Last night's episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York featured the return of Shengo. You know, Kim's former bodyguard? Well, this time he's off the clock, people.

We don't even need to tell you what happened. But we will.

Elsewhere, Scott Disick proved yet again that he is a Class A Douchewaddle who can't wait to conquer the business world. If only he had the slightest clue how.

Our staff member reviews all the scripted action right here:

Ryan Seacrest and his producers are doing everything they can to keep us tuned into the Kardashians, and that includes capturing pillow talk the morning after.

You all remember Shengo, right? The Australian bodyguard who was hired to protect Kris Jenner's cash cow once upon a time? Now Shengo finds himself in the same city as Kim, and this Aussie beefcake is off the clock.

It's time to have a few cocktails and see where the night leads us, because things aren't like they were the last time these two were alone.  

Earlier in the episode, Kourtney accused Kim of falling for men too quickly. Kim loves the idea of being in love, according to her (now) boring, older sister. It's so easy to judge the singletons from the confines of your hotel suite, hmmmm Kourtney?

Just wait until Scott picks you up for lunch....

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Howard Stern loves women with large breasts and little personality, so it should come as no surprise that he's coming to the defense of Kim Kardashian.

Earlier this week, the reality star was called on stage by Prince during a concert at Madison Square Garden. She proceeded to freeze, stand around like a mannequin and get dismissed from the spotlight.

But Stern, a fan of Prince as an artist, blames the musician for this embarrassing incident.

"Apparently she's supposed to dance like a stripper for him and she just stood there not knowing what to do," Stern said on his radio show yesterday. "He throws her off the stage because she can't read f--king Prince's mind. He's a bulls--t artist. I'm done with him."

Concluding by labeling Prince as a "scumbag," Stern said "he seems to be an arrogant asshole lately."

That may be true, but let's remember: Courteney Cox has a career because Bruce Springstein summoned her to the stage during a performance of "Dancing in the Dark." Kim could have shown the world a spontaneous, fun-loving side if she had responded in similar fashion to this sitcom star.

Instead, treating the opportunity like a professional athlete, she blew it.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kim Kardashian is featured in the latest issue of Harper's Bazaar, and, incredibly, she's NOT naked or hypocritical this time around.

She's just annoying.

Harper's Bazaar Cover
  • Kim... Klothed?
  • A New Pose

Dressed like Cleopatra, for reasons that will remain forever unclear, the professional star once again talks about her weight, telling the publication:

"I'm on a diet. I need to be. I love to eat, Kit Kats or cookies-and-cream ice cream. I need sugar like five times a day."

If that's the case, how does Kim remain so svelte? Easy. She spends a lot of time on the toilet.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It took Prince about 10 seconds to realize what the public has known for years:

Kim Kardashian is stiffer than Brett Favre when texting New York Jets employees.

During his concert in Madison Square Garden last night, the iconic artist invited Karadashian to dance with him on stage. Without a script, personality or any sense of spontaneity, however, the talentless reality star simply froze. It didn't take long for Prince to give her the boot, as you can watch here:

Later in the evening - likely after E! flew in writers to tell her exactly how to act - Prince gave Kim a mulligan. She proudly Tweeted about the successful follow-up:

"Went up on stage AGAIN! This time I redeemed myself! We all danced while Prince played the piano! Wow! What a night!"

It's a good thing Kardashian didn't freeze like this when Ray J turned the camera on her in 2007. She'd never have scored front row tickets to a Prince show otherwise.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kim Kardashian starred in her biggest national commercial last night, during Super Bowl XLV no less.

But the evening prior to the game was just as exciting for this professional celebrity, if her relationship with Kris Humphries is to be believed as anything more than a PR stunt.

Kim dined with the Nets power forward and his family at STK in New York City, helping to celebrate Humphries' 26th birthday. She even picked up the $900 for the meal and left a generous tip, witnesses say.

Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian

"Yummy dinner with yummy people!" Kim Tweeted on Saturday night.

Sources claim the couple exited the restaurant and ran into a homeless man looking for a handout from Humphries. But he had to let the guy down, he said, because "the lady paid for dinner, I don't even have a wallet."