by Free Britney at . Comments

Is Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi the next Kim Kardashian? Does anyone even know what we mean by that? Probably not on both counts.

We're not suggesting that Snook is about to be smushed by Ray J on film, though that'd be a heck of a story, or that she's in Kim's fame league.

But she's a moneymaking fame machine in and of herself, and as far as most of humankind is concerned, for seemingly no reason. Sound familiar?

There Are No Words

Peas in a pod. A useless pod.

If the pint-size Jersey Shore guidette stays on track, she may be able to do it. She revealed to E! all the things she has going on (excerpts below) ...

On Dancing With the Stars: They're saying I'm holding out for money ... I never got asked to even do the show, so I don't know where that's coming from. I'd do it, but probably not right now because I'm so busy with everything going on.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments
THG Asks!

Welcome to THG Asks, a fun feature in which two of our celebrity gossip experts debate topical issues in the entertainment world and you decide who wrote the winning argument!

Today, THG Asks: Will Kim Kardashian's marriage last?

YES by Free Britney

Kim Kardashian's wedding was scripted nonsense. We know this.

That is merely who Kim Kardashian is, though: A bland, better-than-average looking chick makes a living from her celeb status despite being expressionless as drywall and devoid of talent.

Nowhere in that job description does she have to be incapable of love.

I'll be the first to ridicule Kim's shameless attempt to kash in on anything. When I read that Kris Humphries' family was appalled at the spectacle of the wedding, I wasn't the least but surprised. But that's precisely why it WILL last.

No one would marry Kim Kardashian for her fame (and become a joke in the process). He's got his own money (and she's got a prenup). He's in it for the only reason anybody could possibly put up with this 24/7/365 charade: Kim's heart.

Congrats. Bring on the sex tape.

Kim Kardashian Wedding Pic

A moment Kim and Kris will never forget ... thanks to E!

NO CHANCE by Hilton Hater

There's no way Kim Kardashian's marriage to Kris Humphries will last. Here's why:

The power forward is a free agent. Coming off a career season, it's unlikely New Jersey (his previous employer) will match his contract demands.

Neither will any other team in a major market.

The Los Angeles Lakers have plenty of size; the Knicks are keeping their salary cap options open for Chris Paul or Dwight Howard; Miami is enough of a circus without employing Humphries in the same city that is now also home to Reggie Bush; Blake Griffin plays the same position for the Clippers.

I foresee Humphries going someplace like Houston, or maybe Utah. And, come on, you can't honestly say Kim Kardashian will stay with a man who lives outside an entertainment news hot spot. It's unlikely Star Magazine could even find Salt Lake City on a map.

Indeed, at some point, the NBA lockout will end and, with it, so will this farce of a marriage. And we all know what that means: a divorce special on E!

THG Asks you ... will it last?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

While fans and critics debate the beauty of her wedding dress in the States, Kim Kardashian has jetted off to Europe with new husband Kris Humphries.

Multiple sources confirm that the newlyweds landed in Paris this week and then headed to Italy, where a limousine was waiting in Naples to take the couple to a cruise ship. They're expected to hit the waters of the Mediterranean for a week, with stops in towns such as towns of Amalfi and Positano.

Kris and Kim at LAX

With a break from this painful pairing in America, citizens are left to debate topics from their wedding that include:

  • Does our culture need to reassess its values?
  • Why is Kim Kardashian famous again?
  • What K-name will be given to their first child?
  • How awesome is Ray J?!?

[Photo: WENN.com]

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Glam was NOT the goal of her wedding, Kim Kardashian insists.

"It was really about our family and each other," the new bride lies says in the latest issue of People, which hits newsstands on Friday and has exclusive coverage of the ceremony and reception.

Kim Kardashian Wedding Dress

Pick up this issue of People for all the delicious detail!

Donning the $25,000 Vera Wang gown seen above - which she didn't pay for, of course - Kim tells the publication she "felt like a princess" during an event described thusly: "It was like we were in heaven."

We? Oh yeah! Kris Humphries was somewhere in the vicinity, too. He must have been in the bathroom when this cover shot was snapped.

Study the wedding dress now and respond: What do you think?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

If this story is true, Ray J is officially the coolest dude ever...

Sources say Kris Jenner is "irate" over a text message her daughter received on her wedding day... because it came from her ex-boyfriend and it read: "And to think you really have me to thank for all this ;-)"

All of this, of course, is a reference to Kim's ridiculously lavish wedding, one that netted her about $18 million and one that was just a slightly bigger deal than her first marriage to Damon Thomas, which just happened to take place before she had sex with Ray J on camera.

Kim Kardashian Superstar

We'll take any excuse we can get to remind the world why Kim is famous.

Since that videotaped pounding, of course, Kim has gone on to star in a reality show... create a brand around her name, breasts and social networking... and create an event last weekend that received more attention than the latest casualty report in Afghanistan.

It also practically crashed Kim K Superstar, which is downright hilarious.

Ray J, meanwhile, acknowledges sending a text to Kim, but wouldn't elaborate on its contents. He simply said of his ex and Kris Humphries: "I wish them the best. She's doing real good right now, that what it is."

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kim Kardashian got married to Kris Humphries on Saturday, and while some reacted with tears, others with smiles and most sane people with spells of vomit, millions took another approach:

They visited KimKSuperstar dot com, the official website of Kim's naked home video with Ray J. According to TMZ, approximately two million users flooded the URL over the weekend, a major increase from the 300,000 uniques that typically ogle the porn clips each month.

Considering this tape is the sole reason Kim was able to pocket $18 million from the wedding, she should clearly open up her wallet a bit for her former partner, shouldn't she? After all, no one would be talking about her these days if she hadn't opened up her legs for him.

In non-sex tape video news, check out the sneak peek at Kris and Kim's wedding reception above.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Sorry, Kris Jenner. But your ridiculous bow - seen in the video below - was actually NOT the most absurd aspect of your daughter's wedding on Saturday.

Instead, that honor falls to the vows uttered by Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. For richer or for poorer? We somehow doubt these two will need to worry about such a dilemma.

Kim and Kris earned over $17 million from the ceremony and reception, and that's without considering all the free items bestowed upon the couple. Try to keep your lunch own and read through the following list. Kardashian and Humphries either pocketed or received...

  • $15 million for the upcoming wedding special on E!.
  • $2.5 million for exclusive photos with People Magazine.
  • $300,000 for the exclusive engagement announcement with People.
  • $100,000 for exclusive rights to the bridal shower for Britain’s OK! Weekly.
  • $50,000 to have the bachelorette party at Tao in Las Vegas.
  • $15,000 to $20,000 for Hansen’s Bakery wedding cake.
  • $20,000 Vera Wang wedding dress and fittings.
  • $40,000 for two more Vera Wang evening dresses, worn during the reception.
  • $400,000 in Perrier Jouet champagne.
  • $150,000 in hair and makeup for photo shoots videos.
  • $10,000 in Lehr & Black wedding invitations.
  • Major discounts on the $2 million 20.5-carat engagement ring and $1 million wedding bands by jeweler Lorraine Schwartz.

It's true what they say: money cannot buy you happiness. But phony love can buy you money.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Beacon of sobriety and temperance Lindsay Lohan was supposedly throwing it down HARD at Kim Kardashian's wedding reception, witnesses say.

Lindsay attended the bash with her mom Dina and sister Ali. The Kardashians have long been friends with the Lohan family for reasons unknown.

Despite LiLo's claims that she's clean for life after battling addiction and myriad legal woes, "She was drinking and partying hard," an insider said.

"I personally saw her order shots from the bar."

Lohan, Blonde Hair

Mom Dina was sitting right with her daughters as Lindsay enjoyed several drinks, which is totally legal for her to do according to her probation.

Still, with community service and counseling requirements to be met, and having fought alcoholism, you wonder if this is smart - legal or not.

Why we would expect Linds to do anything smart? No idea.

[Photo: WENN.com]

by Free Britney at . Comments

In Friday's THG Caption Contest, we asked you to come up with the best one for this photo of Kim Kardashian in her final days as an unmarried woman.

With the Kim Kardashian wedding extravaganza taking place this weekend, you all had plenty of material to make up fun captions. And you stepped up.

Our winner is Donna. Nice work! The winning entry appears below.

Honorable mentions go out to John P. Morgan, Lanie and Crissy. Thanks to all of you for playing as always, and best of luck in our next contest!

Kim Kardashian Box

Kris Humphries made it very clear that before the "I dos" are exchanged, Kim must remove all of her sex tapes from the home.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Ready to go inside the wedding of this century, last century and every century to come?

E! News has given fans a glimpse at yesterday's nuptials between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. Seriously, there was a groom involved, too!

Below, get your first look at Kim's dress, Mason as ringbearer, Kris in a tux and Mama Jenner donning what may be the ugliest giant bow in fashion history. While we check records to verify this statement, enjoy the following sneak peek at a ceremony that made Kardashian more money than millions of people will see in their lifetime...