Kim Kardashian

In the latest issue of DuJour, Kim Kardashian puts to rest rumors that she's upset about her pregnancy weight gain.

How so?

By flaunting both the Kim Kardashian baby bump and her natural complexion for photographer Bruce Weber, posing in a bikini and going practically makeup-free in her first shoot since the December 30 announcement that she's expecting.

Inside the magazine, Kim says she's learned a lot from Kanye West, specially when it comes to "privacy."

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If you thought hornball Scott putting the moves on Khloe was enough faux drama for the week on Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, you thought wrong!

KKTM ran it back for a special Monday episode this week, as well! Because who can get enough of them, honestly. Sure as heck not the THG staff.

What contrived nonsense awaited E! viewers this time around? Specifically, why did Jonathan Cheban get slapped by an irate Kardashian sister?

Find out now in THG's Kourtney & Kim Take Miami recap!

During a photo shoot for UK Cosmopolitan, Kim and Khloe discuss filling out the magazine's questionnaire re: what Kim would do if she was a man.

"If I was a man, I would want to know what it's like to have sex with myself," Kim told her sister. "I would just want to know what it would feel like."

Even Kim herself wishes she were Ray J sometimes. Plus 850.

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There are many ways to gain weight, some of which may result in regret.

Case in point: finishing off an entire box of Red Velvet Cheesecake Brownies in one sitting.

But the expectation of one's first child shouldn't result in one caring about numbers on a scale or images in a mirror, right? Try telling that to Kim Kardashian.

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If you thought putting the moves on your girlfriend's sister after she just gave birth was out of bounds, you don't know these people - or their scripted show.

Scott Disick and Ryan Seacrest Productions, everybody!

Yes, that was the big storyline of the week, for anyone who chooses to believe it. In reality, Scott Disick is as much of a character as you'll see on any sitcom.

What did he pretend to do Sunday and did it make for good TV?

Come along for THG's Kourtney & Kim Take Miami recap!

Naturally, Scott was upset that post-partum Kourtney isn't up for getting it in. Such is life, but Minus 20 for being even a little surprised at this point.

Enter Khloe Kardashian for scripted entertainment! Plus 20.

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Kim Kardashian will need to wait until her divorce trial in May to rid herself of Kris Humphries.

But the reality star moved quickly and quietly this week to separate herself from the mansion she once shared with the NBA power forward.

Not only did Kim sell the 4,000-square foot mansion in Beverly Hills for $5 million TMZ confirms, she allowed the buyer to keep pretty much all its contents.

From couches to coffee tables to custom-made furniture, it's all staying with the home.

Kardashian, of course, can afford plenty of new items and will have plenty of room for them in her new digs: she and Kanye West are moving into a 11,000-square foot home some time this year.

Our national nightmare will not end for at least another three months.

The day after Kris Humphries' lawyer peaced out on his client and also trashed Humphries for claiming he can annul his marriage to Kim Kardashian, a judge has set a trial date for this pair to finally hash it all out.

They will meet in court on May 6.

Kardashian's attorney fought for a date next month, but nothing was available until well into the spring.

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Love wasn't the only thing in the air for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West last night.

A great deal of green was also floating around, as the reality star Tweeted a photo of the $69,000 present her baby daddy purchased for her: this Cartier panther cuff.

The item is made of 18K white gold and includes both diamonds and emeralds. Totally worth the cost, right?

"My new pet panther! #Cartier #TheDonStrikesYetAgain," Kim wrote as a caption to the picture.

Kim's ex, meanwhile, suffered through a far less enjoyable Valentine's Day, as Kris Humphries was dumped by his lawyer. That's hilarious.

Note to random employee at JFK airport: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West may pose like Jesus.

But they aren't actually gods that deserve special treatment, okay?

The couple touched down in New York yesterday following a trip to Brazil, only to find themselves at the center of a TSA investigation because an airline greeter rushed them past a checkpoint in order to speed up their boarding process.

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Kris Humphries is nothing but an attention-starved liar who doesn't care one iota about the Kim Kardashian divorce case.

So says Laura Wasser in new court documents, as Kim's attorney claims Humphries isn't dragging out his legal battle with her client because he actually cares about the result of their relationship.

He's doing so to "blow the lid off reality television."

Wasser asserts that Kris and his lawyers are looking to "expose" Keeping Up with the Kardashians as a scripted farce unless they receive a major payday.

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We have a new batch of Kim Kardashian photos to show off to readers.

Posted to this reality star's official blog and featured in Elle, the pictures were snapped by Miguel Reverigeo, with designer Nicola Formichetti behind the latest Kim Kardashian fashion selections.

Check out a trio of black-and-white shots now:

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