Khloe Kardashian Keeping Up with the Kardashians

On Sunday night's installment of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the gang went on an extra special, totally relaxing, not at all staged family vacation.

Which of the girls almost pulled a no-show and why? Would Kris tell Bruce about Todd Waterman? What caused a big rift between Bruce and Scott?

Find out in THG's +/- Keeping Up recap!

"This just doesn't feel right, like I'm sneaking around. And maybe the healthiest thing for me to do is just not see Todd." - Kris Jenner. Ya think? Plus 20.

"Ever since Kourtney got pregnant she's extra-indecisive, extra-hormonal and it's really frustrating." - Kim. Imagine how Scott feels, girlfriend. Minus 10.

At the speedway, Bruce introduces Scott as his "friend." Ouch! Plus 70.

Scott Disick is steamed and storms off, but sympathy is limited here. He may not be the worst guy in the world, but if you don't propose after that long ...

Khloe surprises the fam in the Dominican Republic early. Plus 5?

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On Sunday night's installment of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kris Jenner's past love life once again took center stage, and no one cared.

Seriously ... when did this become the Kris Jenner show?! Is anyone on pins and needles wondering about her book and this Todd Waterman?

Meanwhile, Scott and Kourtney partook in some fun but fake drama, Kim has some giant boobs and so on. How did everything else play out!

Find out in THG's +/- Keeping Up recap!

Plus 70 for this quote by Scott: "Sometimes I feel a little cooped up and want to get out and socialize. Going out somewhere fun to Kourtney would be like going to a pregnancy class." Dude, you got her pregnant again. Don't whine to us.

Her solution? Send him out with Kim. She's expressionless and boring as it gets - he gets to go out, but no way he gets into trouble with her! Plus 30.

Kris Jenner is slapping balls around the tennis could when WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT, the other man from her memoir happens to show up! Minus 50.

"The Todd Waterman that I left Robert Kardashian for," Kris explains. "I just can't seem to escape my past. It's been over 23 years since I've even laid eyes on him but suddenly ... it feels like just yesterday." Minus 250 for the contrived storyline.

Plus 20 for telling Bruce immediately, at least.

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On Sunday night's Keeping Up with the Kardashians, evil momager Kris Jenner once again took center stage, this time with her grunting noises.

Say what now?

Feeling like it's time for some contrived family bonding, Kris decides it's time to play some tennis with the gang. How sweet and unforced.

Elsewhere, Bruce's son Brandon Jenner and Leah Felder, who just got married, made an appearance for the first time. How'd that go?

Find out in THG's +/- Keeping Up recap!

Plus 70 for this exchange, even if it was written on cue cards:

• Kris: "I think we need a can of balls because you always have to have fresh balls."
• Kim: "I'm glad that your memory of balls is coming back to you."
• Kris: "Honey, anytime there's balls involved it's my kind of game."

That's what Ray J said. OHHHHH!

Anyway ... "Is it me or is my mom making these loud, crazy grunt noises when she hits the ball?" Kourtney asks. No it's not just you ... unfortunately. Somehow listening to Maria Sharapova do that sounds way better. Minus 15.

"This was supposed to be a really fun day," Kris laments. "But my kids just wanted to make fun of me." She deserves it, so Plus 10 for the kids.

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On Sunday night's Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kris Jenner the momager reared her obnoxious head early and often. On Monday's special Memorial Day episode?

More of the same.

"I am in L.A. for literally 24 hours and my mother is on the phone handling business calls," Khloe Kardashian-Odom laments during a family dinner.

Pretty much.

Even Kim Kardashian, the woman without an original thought, weighs in: "My mom is losing focus of the family time that we just really want."

How bad did it get? Let's find out in THG's recap!

"My divorce has been really draining, really stressful," Kim laments. "I just want to leave this chapter of my life behind me." Girl, it was more like a foreword. No way 72 days of a fake marriage makes up a full chapter. Minus 100.

Khloe's advice? Do something SILLY! Like put on a wig! Man, the writers are getting more creative by the week over at E! Kim is basically a mannequin who reads cue cards.

Eh, not bad for a girl devoid of personality or talent. Plus 15.

"I'm kind of obsessed with 007." - Kim. That was her nickname for Ray. Plus 5. EDITOR'S NOTE: It wasn't really. But that would've been awesome.

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Keeping Up With the Kardashians is back!

Sadly, this season has been all Kris Jenner.

On last week's Keeping Up season premiere, Khloe Kardashian's paternity non-issues took center stage. This week, she's on the outs with Kourtney Kardashian.

Why? Find out here in our official rekap!

Kourtney Kardashian is not a fan of her mom's book. Or new attitude. "My mom's just like, talking about some hot guy at the concert and I just find every little thing she's saying annoying," she says. "She's a married woman, it's just inappropriate."

It's the past that really bugs her though. The two have it out over her mother's affair and subsequent divorce, something that makes this contrived, scripted show feel real and close to home for the first time probably ever. Plus 30.

"I didn't do something on purpose to hurt you," Kris says. "I was too young and stupid to make a good decision. If I had to do it all over again obviously I wouldn't do it." No, Ryan Seacrest Productions would never have written it. Minus 20.

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Keeping Up With the Kardashians is back!

That's right, the most boring, scripted show on TV is SO back!

On the Season 7 premiere, Kim and her giant boobs gush about the importance of family, Kourtney reveals the gender of her second baby, Khloe and Kris clash over whether she should take a DNA test, and Bruce takes $h!t from everyone.

Basically all stuff we already knew or didn't care about. Anyway, here's our recap!

Kim Kardashian: "After going through a divorce this past year, it just taught me that family is the most important thing." Well, family and Kanye. Plus 10.

Khloe's in town, but no one bothers to tell Bruce dinner is ready, and he doesn't bother to come downstairs. Blame is shared equally there. Minus 15.

"What does a guy got to do to get a little respect around here?" he says. Not be surrounded by a bunch of money-grubbing reality stars? Minus 10.

OMG ... is Khloe a biological Kardashian? The DNA test drama resumes as  Kris Jenner is consumed with the paternity rumors re: Khloe Kardashian.

"This story is not going away," Kris laments. Yeah, because you have Google alerts set up and are filmed talking about it for your show. Minus 30.

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We told you Kanye West would appear on season seven of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

And now you can see for yourself.

In a new E! promo for the season premiere, which airs on Sunday, we get a glimpse of Kanye and Kim at dinner, along with Khloe talking about the rapper and making it seem like this relationship is nothing but a publicity stunt. But that would be crazy, right?

Elsewhere: Kim wears wigs; Kourtney cries; Kris recalls a past love; Lamar Odom considers his NBA career; Scott Disick yells; and THG almost loses our dinner. Watch the totally unscripted madness now:

Keeping Up With the Kardashians Promo

Kim Kardashian has grown closer to her family than ever before. Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are preparing for a new baby.

Khloe Kardashian is striving to spend time with her loved ones. Rob Kardashian is finding his way in business

Bruce and Kris Jenner are hitting a rough patch when the former reveals he feels taken for granted.

If these storylines - included in the official E! press release for season seven of Keeping Up with the Kardashians - don't grab your attention, good. There's hope for you yet. But if they DO somehow make you anxious to tune in for new episodes...

... well, those premiere on May 20.

Click through a series of promotional photos of the family now:

Prepare to watch Kim Kardashian cry fake tears over at least a half dozen more divorces, E! viewers, as the network announced today that it has renewed Keeping Up with the Kardashians for three more seasons.

The new deal is worth $40 million for the family, and that figure does NOT include all the revenue Kim, Khloe, Kourtney and kompany will earn by simply Tweeting and pretending to be your pal on Facebook.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Season 7 Promo

The contract also does NOT cover additional seasons of Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami, Kourtney and Kim Take New York or Khloé & Lamar, along with any future spin-offs producers can conjure up (Kris Does Menopause? Kendall Studies For Her Learner's Permit?).

Keeping Up with the Kardashians premieres its next season on May 20, with the only real question remaining:

How much air time will be dedicated to Kim and Kanye West?

What are we doing, readers? Did we just spend a half hour of our lives watching Kris Jenner talk about her bladder and her vagina? Have we no dignity?!?

While I re-consider how I spend my free time, let's review the latest scripted episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, THG style!

Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Kris vs. Khloe

Kris Jenner often pees herself. MINUS 7 because I don't care and because that's gross.

There's apparently a rule of no phones at the dinner table in this household. Multiple TV cameras, though? No problem! PLUS 9.

Kris is upset because her kids keep giving her a hard time over her bladder in front of strangers. Unless me and her are tighter than I realized, MINUS 19 for her complaining about this to a TV camera.

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