by Hilton Hater at

Shanna Moakler is really sorry.

During a recent appearance on The Wendy Williams Show, the former beauty pageant queen referred to Khloe Kardashian as a "donkey."

Tweeted Khloe in response: "Who is shana moakler??? I have no idea who this girl is but I guess she is talking about me. Talk on honey...I can care less LOL."

We're shocked by this whole thing. We had no idea anyone watched The Wendy Williams Show!

  • Pic of Shanna Moakler
  • Khloe Picture

Moakler actually apologized immediately, Tweeting to Khloe: "You are right. We don't know each other personally and I apologize for my comment this morning," adding in a statement: "I feel really bad. I shouldn't have said it."

But is this feud really over?

Shanna mixed it up with Kim Kardashian in July 2008 because she thought Kim slept with her ex-husband, Travis Barker. It was a silly accusation, of course.

Barker is way too pale for Kim's taste.

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by Hilton Hater at

We apologize, Australia.

For days, we've been railing against our friends Down Under because many of them were apparently unaware that Britney Spears lip syncs at concerts.

That may be lame on their part, but America has no educated foot to stand on: over three million people tuned in for the two-hour Khloe Kardashian/Lamar Odom wedding special on E! Sunday night.

Over three million!!!

It's not as though viewers didn't have other quality options on Sunday evening, either. There was an exciting NFL game; Dexter on Showtime; Mad Men on AMC. Heck, there was the Home Shopping Network.

Anything is more appealing than watching two people spit on the concept of love, rake in money for their wedding and laugh all the way to the bank.

Put simply, the 3.07 million individuals that tuned in to this contrived nonsense need to get a life. And a TV Guide.

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by Hilton Hater at

Kourtney Kardashian is scheduled to give birth next month.

But don't worry, readers: her sister may get knocked up and take over the family's tradition of milking every possible second of pregnancy for money and attention.

Appearing with Chelsea Handler on E!'s Chelsea Lately, Lamar Odom said he was anxious to drop his seed inside his wife like a basketball through a hoop.

Asked when the couple wanted to have kids, Lamar replied: "Soon." When the host followed up by asking if they really wanted to have children right away, Odom again chimed in:

"I do!"

Incredibly, Odom didn't need to read this line of a cue card this time, as he likely did during his contrived wedding to Khloe.

Khamar

Because little, talentless, attention-starved kids running around isn't a scary enough thought, Khloe said she and her husband are considering a reality show.

"Ryan [Seacrest] has been talking to us about it. I mean, right now, we have so much going on, but we don't know. We've got to get through the holidays, and then we'll discuss it again after that."

What does Khloe Kardashian possibly have going on?!?! Sigh. Watch the full interview after the jump.

Continue Reading...

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by Hilton Hater at

This is truly shocking.

Please, take a moment and make sure you're sitting down. Ready? Okay...

Rashad McCants says Keeping Up with the Kardashians scripts its episodes and storylines, citing one example in particular:

Earlier this year, the E! "reality" show depicted a scene in which Kim Kardashian supposedly hacked into the voicemail of McCants (Khloe's alleged boyfriend at the time) and the sisters listened to shady messages apparently left for him by another woman.

We questioned the validity of this sequence, which you can watch right now, at the time. And for good reason, McCants has confirmed.

Rashad McCants is crying foul on Khloe Kardashian and her family's fake drama.

He told The New York Post this week that the series "made the whole thing up" and Khloe didn't have his phone number at the time. Why not? Because the couple had broken up in January, weeks prior to this scene's taping.

A scripted reality show? What bombshell will drop next? Is Carrie Prejean not actually a dedicated Christian?!?

McCants is a NBA free agent in need of a team. He can probably cross the Lakers off his list of potential suitors, as Khloe's new husband, Lamar Odom, starts at power forward for L.A.

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by Hilton Hater at

With the naked eye, it appears as though Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian dressed as Batman and Catwoman for Halloween.

But anyone familiar with them can safely assume they'd never don such lame costumes.

Because those comic book characters have been done so many times (and because Odom scarcely made an effort to be the Caped Crusader), it's clear that Lamar and Khloe arrived at a party as something else entirely, something entirely opposite from what they actually are:

A couple that doesn't want attention.

You've gotta hand it to Kardodom for the effort. The pair almost seems to be shunning the spotlight with such a weak effort, but we know better.

Below, contrast Odom and Kardashian with another dressed-up couple: Melissa Rycroft and Tye Strickland.

Lame Costumes

Which couple looked cuter?

 

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by Hilton Hater at

Considering the Lakers' best player is a self-centered, adulterous, accused rapist, we didn't think we could hate the team any more than we already do.

Then, Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom.

Now, we'll be stuck with this attention-starved socialite's presence at every Los Angeles home game, as illustrated last night when Khloe and Kim Kardashian sat courtside, pretended to cheer Odom on and checked themselves out on the arena's jumbotron.

Look at Us!

Said Khloe at the game: "It's an honor to be here watching... I'm so happy to be able to experience this great accomplishment with Lamar. I'm so proud of my husband."

Meanwhile, fans of contrived weddings and scripted reality shows would be proud of the Kardashians as a whole.

The Khloe/Lamar wedding special will air on E! on November 8 and we've posted the hilarious, infuriating preview for it after this article's jump.

Check it out now for the fakest tears and most well-rehearsed arguments of the fall TV season.

Continue Reading...

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by Hilton Hater at

How could we ever have doubted the love between Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom?!?

The couple may only have known each other for a few weeks prior to marriage, but to prove their love for each other and/or remember one another's name in the morning, each has gotten a tattoo of the other's initials.

Take a look for yourself:

tattoos

We'll let Khloe contradict herself with the reasons why:

"I think the best tattoo experiences are the spontaneous ones, because that way you are not only left with the tattoo, but an amazing memory to go along with it," she blogged, adding:

"I'm definitely a believer in tattoos as long as they are thoughtful and have significant meaning, which all of mine do... Tattoos are something you'll have for the rest of your life so it's important to get one that truly means something to you."

So, to recap: Khloe believes tattoos should be both spontaneous and possess special meaning.

We've heard she feels the same way about fake marriages and pre-nuptial agreements.

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by Hilton Hater at

While Kourtney Kardashian continues to make headlines for having unprotected sex with her shady boyfriend, her sisters are causing quite a stir for announcing their plans to eventually pro-create, as well.

Kim Kardashian, for example, covers the latest issue of Life & Style merely because she expressed her desire to eventually have a family.

Now, Lamar Odom has stopped the presses by announcing his plans to have kids with wife Khloe Kardashian... someday. He told Us Weekly last night:

"That's what kings and queens are put on the earth for, to have offspring."

Makes perfect sense to us. Especially considering how positively happy this couple - sorry, Lamar, we mean these members of royalty - looks together:

Unhappy

Adding that he feels "blessed" to have married Kardashian, Odom said:

"My wife is a beautiful person and she looks alright, too! She looks beautiful. I'm lucky!"

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by Hilton Hater at

Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian got married last month, in a beautiful ceremony that wasn't at all paid for by E! and staged for a reality show.

Making the event even more romantic was the rumor that it wasn't legally binding because the two sides were still hashing out the details of a pre-nuptial agreement.

Now, however, the totally smitten couple can sign on the dotted line of a marriage contract: TMZ reports a pre-nup has been worked out.

The site states the couple has orally (hehe, orally!) agreed to a deal. Odom's new $33 million contract is off the table, as he'll be able to claim all his assets as his own.

But the Lakers star will fund a joint account for the pair, and will provide Khloe with a static annual sum throughout the marriage; yes, this is essentially an allowance for his wife.

Odom will also purchase a house for the couple. The desperate pleas for attention and contrived photo ops for the pair? Khloe is in charge of those.

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by Hilton Hater at

Pay close attention, aspiring socialites: Khloe Kardashian is teaching a class on how to become rich and famous by not doing anything at all.

First, get married to someone else famous, even if you've only known him for a month.

Second, have the marriage filmed for your upcoming reality show.

Third, sell the wedding pics to a tabloid.

Crazy Couple

Fourth, draw attention to a celebrity gossip report, refute it and create new headlines by... doing nothing at all. Which was the initial goal, as outlined above.

Khloe practiced the art of the last point earlier today: apparently, Star magazine published a story that said her and Lamar Odom had split because he refused to give her a massage. Was anyone aware of this before Khloe pointed it out?

Would anyone take it seriously? Of course not.

But Khloe took to her blog today and shot down the report, thereby milking attention for it. She wrote:

"I seriously died when I read that! LOL. Star is known for doing evil, fake and RIDICULOUS stories about my family... [it is] becoming the Enquirer. Next thing you know they'll be saying that Kourtney is giving birth to a cat! LOL. All of their stories are absurd, but at least we get a good laugh from their lies."

Would anyone out there be surprised if Khloe's people planted this story, just to give her the platform to deny it? Neither would we.

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