by Hilton Hater at

It's among mankind's most vexing questions: what is the appeal of the Kardashians, a family with no personality, talent or positive contributions to society of any kind?

In the latest issue of Redbook, Khloe Kardashian somehow keeps a straight face when answering: "We are a real family. We don't sugarcoat anything. We're not the Brady Bunch, but we always put each other first. We love each other on camera, we cry on camera. I think people relate to the realness of it."

These are the same people who somehow believe Kim Kardashian Tweets at them due to a personal attachment, not as a contribution to her empire.

Kardashians Redbook Cover

What is the biggest misconception about the family? Manager and matriarch Kris Jenner tackles this inquiry, hilariously lying stating:

"All of my daughters have jobs. They are fashion stylists and designers; they own a chain of stores. They had the stores before they had the show. And my kids worked from the time they were 13 years old... They work 25 hours a day. And that they don't have any talent?

They might not be singers or dancers, but they certainly know how to produce a television show. Whether you want to call it talent or not, they have multiple shows on the air. [I want to say,] How many shows do you have?"

That cannot be denied, Kris. But it must be asked: do they have multiple shows on the air due to anything the Kardashians offer? Or due to the sheer ignorance/stupidity of viewers?

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by Hilton Hater at

It's incredibly nauseating, but true: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are coming to the world of reality TV.

The boring couple, whose only purpose appears to be teasing viewers about possibly having a baby every other week, will anchor Khloe & Lamar, the latest E! spin-off to feature members of Hollywood's least talented, best publicized family.

In the following, extended trailer is actually sounds like Odom confirms that a child is on the way. Watch now and listen closely:

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by Free Britney at

It's the moment we've waited for this entire wash of a season: Khloe arrived.

However, we weren't given enough time with the married old gal to measure how much we've missed her. The producers thought it would be a great idea to devote half the 22 minutes to Scott, who had landed himself the May cover of Men's Fitness (whyyyy?).

The remainder focused on Kim's sour puss, a result of the lollipops-and-gummi bears relationship between her oldest and youngest sisters. This isn't a shock, as we've seen Kourtney and Khloe play odd-man-out with Kim for the past four years.

As one of three girls, I'll admit this happens from time to time. But it's clear that the producers were searching for a storyline and know how well Khloe and Kourtney's dynamic is received by the viewers. Tough break, Kimmy. Call up Kris.

She'll hang with you. Scott Disick would do it, but he's too busy dreaming of his Men's Fitness wardrobe. Gucci and Tom Ford and fast cars, oh my!

I spent the first ten minutes gagging thanks to Scott. He saunters into the suite and tells his beloved that Men's Fitness has selected him for their May cover.

Then the jabs begin (even more reason to love Kourtney): Scott doesn't work out, why would they pick him... that sort of thing.

Continue Reading...

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by Hilton Hater at

The game of love has a new dream team, folks.

In the first official promo for Khloe & Lamar, we see the couple kissing during a photo shoot, being trailed by paparazzi and talking about how they'd make such great parents. It's clear that no line is scripted and every scene you watch it just an example of these two acting like the average, totally in love couple they are.

The show airs on E! Sunday nights in April. How can anyone not tune in?!?

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by Hilton Hater at

We're just this big family with a lot of drama and a lot of issues, and there's someone here for everyone to relate to. - Kris Jenner to The Hollywood Reporter.

In case it wasn't obvious before how similar the Kardashians were to Sarah Palin, this quote and its affiliated article, which takes us inside the world of Kim, Khloe and company, makes it more apparent than ever: both parties have perfected the art of coming across like the Average Joe...

Oscar Party Pic

... while raking in the sort of cash scarcely seen by the average stock broker. In 2010 alone, it's now been revealed, the Kardashian made $65 million. That's about 65 million more dollars than positive contributions made to society.

As the clear brains behind the family's financial success, Kris Jenner tells the trade she was faced with a dilemma when the Kim Kardashian sex tape came out in 2007:

I had to cry and get upset in the privacy of my own room and then come out and help her, because she's my daughter... All I knew was that I had to make some lemonade out of these lemons fast. Real fast... My job was trying to take my kids' 15 minutes and turn it into 30."

Continue Reading...

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by Hilton Hater at

Their souls are bonded, their bodies are naked and their bank accounts are overflowing.

In the following commercial, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom tell viewers why they ought to purchase their unisex fragrance, "Unbreakable." There's something sexy about a couple sharing a scent, the couple tells us below. But we think they mean a sense.

As in: a sense for how to rip off an ignorant public that believes this family has anything worth buying, or even paying an iota of attention to. The perfume goes on sale in two days, for anyone that needs to take a long, hard look at his/her life cares.

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by Hilton Hater at

Wanna smell like desperation and a lack of shame? You'll soon be able to!

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have confirmed plans for a new fragrance. It will be titled "Unbreakable" and will hit the market on February 12.

“He’s always wanted a unisex fragrance!,” Khloé recently told E! online. “It took a long time to create what we both wanted and would wear and love, and we found the perfect one.”

The scent will feature chocolaty notes that work for both genders and... we're sorry. We just can't write about this nonsense any longer.

Waste your money on this crap at your own risk.

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by Hilton Hater at

Kim and Khloe Kardashian have given us many reasons to dislike them:

The talentless sisters hawk any product that comes their way, will not shut up about their weight and seem to truly believe they contribute something to society.

But now they've really crossed a line! In the following commercial for "Never Say Never," the siblings hype Justin Bieber's new movie, and are then asked out by the singer himself! He offers to take them to see the film and, let's be frank, we all know what happens on dates inside a dark theater. Those darn Kardashians...

This isn't the first time Justin and Kim have shared the spotlight, of course. The pair flirted up a storm in an Elle magazine spread last August.

This also isn't the first time Justin has relied on his famous friends to help promote his biopic. But when Pauly D and The Situation provided a hand, it was hilarious, not nauseating.

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by Hilton Hater at

Earlier this month, rumors sprung up that Khloe Kardashian might be pregnant.

Not because anyone referred to her as fat. But because she wore an unusually flowing dress to a public event; because that's the route her sister took when she signed on for a spin-off; and because her siblings didn't flat out deny the chatter.

Naturally, though, Khloe has used this talk to once again whine about her weight, doing so in a video posted to her blog.

"I feel like no matter what I do, I never look good enough to everybody else," Kardashian says. "I think my weight is my biggest lifetime struggle. It's not the biggest thing in life, but it does get you down sometimes."

Fortunately, when these dour moods strike, Khloe can count the money she's made by posing for tabloid covers that hype up her awesome bikini body. So that helps a little.

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by Hilton Hater at

Khloe Kardashian is featured in the latest issue of YRB.

At least we think this is Khloe Kardashian. There's a good chance it's Rihanna, or possibly Hannibal Lecter. Click on the following photos from the magazine and try to decipher for yourself:

Khloe Pic

"It's so different from anything I've ever done, which was what made the shoot so fun for me," Khloe blogged. "YRB is known for being very wild and crazy with the content they publish, so I jumped at the chance to work with them! I love experimenting with different looks and this was the perfect opportunity for me to do that."

We'd have to assume Khloe snacked on fava beans and a nice chianti during the shoot.

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