by Hilton Hater at

David Letterman got to the bottom of Kim Kardashian's butt x-ray last night, as the talk show attempted to make Kim, Khloe and Kourtney appear interesting on The Late Show.

After Letterman displayed the ridiculous item, Khloe appeared to actually upset her sister by saying: "That's just fat. That's where all of her fat goes, just to her ass. That's it. It doesn't go anywhere else... it just sits and just goes right there. It's so frustrating. All she does it eat junk food and it goes to her booty."

Of course, Kim defended herself, referring to her grueling workouts and going on about how New York "kills" her due to its abundance of good food. Such as nuts on every corner. Yes, Kim Kardashian likes nuts. Go ahead and make your own joke here. We're too tired of these people to try...

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by Hilton Hater at

The Kardashian Kollection is koming to Sears. And, no, the klothing line will not include any white hoods.

Khloe, Kim and Kourtney find themselves in trouble today after releasing a statement on behalf of their upcoming fashion brand that reads: Join the stylish Kardashian klan on September 6th at the private studio of the legendary photographer Annie Leibovitz for an exclusive preview of their fabulous new fashion Kollection for Sears.

The Kardashian Klan? Brought to you by KKK? We wonder why anyone would be offended by such an announcement.

  • Kardashians in Lingerie
  • Kardashian Kollection Ad Campaign

The sisters likely had as little to do with the wording of this statement as they do with the actual line, but still. They're idiots.

But they are sort of hot. And they're posing above in lingerie. Study the photo and decide: Which sibling would you rather...

 

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by Hilton Hater at

Just days prior to the wedding of the millennium, Khloe Kardashian has some advice for Kim Kardashian: Take time to enjoy it.

No, not the money she'll earn from the E!-sponsored nuptials. Okay, that, too. But the special day she's about to share with Kris Humphries.

"At some point in your wedding, take your husband in a corner and just be quiet and look and enjoy the whole presence of it," Khloe told Us Weekly. "And just look and enjoy because it goes so fast... it's amazing."

  • Kardashian Kollection Premiere Pic
  • So Kute!

Khloe, of course, has been down the televised wedding path before. She got hitched to Lamar Odom in September 2009, with friends, family and tabloid cameramen standing by. She can't really offer advice to her sibling, though.

"No two relationships are the same," Khloe said. "Keep yours to yourself because everyone will have an opinion. They have no idea what goes on behind closed doors."

Too bad no such doors exist for Kim Kardashian.

[Photo: WENN.com]

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by Hilton Hater at

Kim Kardashian has taken time out of exploiting her father's death for profit to hype a book she didn't write.

On November 1, the Kardashian sisters will come out with a novel titled "Dollhouse." It focuses on family living in the spotlight of fame and it's "based on our lives," Kim blogged this week. "But we've added a lot of crazy fictional twists and turns. You'll have to decide for yourself which story lines are true to life, and which ones we dreamed up."

  • Kardashian Novel
  • Kardashian Kollection Ad

The odds of any Kardashian writing a single word of the book, by the way, are about as high as Casey Anthony being named Mother of the Year.

Will you purchase Dollhouse?

 

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by Hilton Hater at

At last night's Teen Choice Awards, the Kardashians beat out such talented competitors as Snooki, Audrina Patridge and Laurieann Gibson for the title of Choice Female Reality/Variety Star.

It was a sad commentary on the state of teenagers in America, but also a telling one: voters essentially threw their hands in the air and admitted: These sisters are all the same! They have no distinct personalities of any kind, so why not give them an award meant to honor a singular individual?

Let's try to separate Kim, Khloe and Kourtney, though, shall we? Below, we've pitted the red carpet styles of these siblings against each other. Who looked best at the ceremony?

Fashion Face-Off!

It's a Kardashian konundrum! Choose now between Kim, Khloe and Kourtney on the red carpet of the Teen Choice Awards. View Poll »

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by Hilton Hater at

One thing has been made clear on Keeping Up with the Kardashians this season: Kris Jenner is a controlling, whining attention hog with a bladder problem.

She also enjoys butting into her children's personal lives, making her opinion clear on the state of their relationships and their uteruses. She admitted as much to Us Weekly yesterday.

"I would love more grandchildren," Kris said. "Mason is the love of our lives, and he is so much fun, but there's only one Mason to go around. It would be nice if we had some more."

Kris Jenner Image

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom might have a child one of these days, but the former appears to enjoy talking about the possibility more than actually going through with it. Still, the outcome is in God's hands, not in her private parts.

"I would love all of my children to experience having children on their own," Kris says. "I think going through that process of being pregnant and giving birth, everybody should, if you can and you're blessed."

Seriously, kids. Mommy needs another set of newborn photos to sell to the tabloids.

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by Hilton Hater at

What are we doing, readers? Did we just spend a half hour of our lives watching Kris Jenner talk about her bladder and her vagina? Have we no dignity?!?

While I re-consider how I spend my free time, let's review the latest scripted episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, THG style!

Kris Jenner often pees herself. MINUS 7 because I don't care and because that's gross.

There's apparently a rule of no phones at the dinner table in this household. Multiple TV cameras, though? No problem! PLUS 9.

Kris is upset because her kids keep giving her a hard time over her bladder in front of strangers. Unless me and her are tighter than I realized, MINUS 19 for her complaining about this to a TV camera.

Continue Reading...

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by Hilton Hater at

You've seen the engagement night photo. Now, readers, prepare yourselves for a look at Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian at their recent engagement party!!! OMG, we know.

Khloe posted the following photo on her blog today, taking credit for how "insane" it was to throw the shindig together with just three days' notice. What made her schedule so busy? Trying to find new ways to whine about her weight, we assume, while also memorizing next week's Keeping Up with the Kardashians script.

"The party turned out fab and Kimmie and Kris loved it, which made me so happy!" Khloe gushed.

Engagement Party Pic
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by Hilton Hater at

Bruce Jenner did all he could to tune out his annoying family on Keeping Up with the Kardashians last night. He gets countless points for the attempt, but the clan as a whole lost a ton in this +/- review of its weekly, scripted shenanigans...

Kim asks Rob, in response to him having not seen Mason in awhile, "doesn't that hurt your soul?" She then sticks her chest out for a nice shot by the E! cameras. PLUS 7.

Khloe brings Bruce a "harmony comb" to help with his hearing. It's a paper plate and candle (below) resting on the side of his head. He then complains about Khloe taking a photo and putting it on YouTube. The E! camera man shakes his head and hands out MINUS 13 points for the irony.

"When in doubt, throw it away," Khloe says in regard to a turkey baster. MINUS 6 to E! producers for not taking the same stance with all copies of this show.

Kourtney is afraid Rob is missing her son growing up because they haven't spent quality time together. PLUS 5 to Rob for understanding he can just watch the process via the Internet instead.

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by Hilton Hater at

On last Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kris Jenner wouldn't stop harassing daughter Kourtney over her lack of desire to marry Scott Disick. She said God wanted them to tie the knot.

Well... we're not sure about The Big Guy's feelings on Kim's impending nuptials with Kris Humphries, but Khloe has spoken out and made it clear her mom is thrilled to finally have another wedding to plan.

"I've seen how much my mom has been doing, and I don't know how my mom does it! Kim should be kissing the ground that my mom walks on. It's amazing," Khloe told Us Weekly.

Annoying Mother and Daughter

We have an idea of how your mom does it, Khloe: with dollar signs in her eyes. Who do you think made your family all that bank in 2010?

Continue Reading...

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