by Free Britney at . Comments

Kevin Federline is denying reports that he is trying to extort money from estranged wife Britney Spears by releasing a video of him making filthy, endless, white-trash love to her.

"There is not a sex video of Kevin and Britney in existence," Federline's lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, says in a statement issued Tuesday.

Straddle

"It goes without saying that stories of Kevin trying to sell a sex video are patently false and anyone who reports they have information of such attempts is either lying or reporting the lie of someone else."

On November 12, the News of the World reported that Federline, who is seeking spousal support and custody of his two sons with Britney, Sean Preston and Jayden James, was trying to sell the alleged tape and had already been offered nearly $50 million.

Numerous sources also reported that David Hans Schmidt, the legendary celebrity sex tape distributor, was in contact with the alleged seller. It sure has been a crazy two weeks since Britney Spears filed for divorce from K-Fed back on November 7, officially pulling the plug after two years of crappy marriage.

The statement from Federline's attorney continues:

"It would be impossible to comment upon and correct all of the other misinformation about Kevin that appears on a daily basis and consequently no attempt has been made, or will be made, to do so. I hope that the public and media will keep this in mind before assuming accuracy of facts from Kevin's silence."

You got it, Mark Vincent Kaplan. We will stick to the facts from now on, at your request. Here are a couple of things we know for sure:

  1. There is no Britney Spears sex tape.
  2. Kevin Federline is the biggest loser alive.
  3. But less offensive than Michael Richards.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Britney Spears sex tape, or alleged Britney Spears sex tape, as we keep calling it, for lack of proof that it even exists, continues to fuel intense, filthy, lewd speculation.

The UK tabloid News of the World reported that Kevin Federline is shopping a four-hour sex tape featuring himself naked and "enjoying an uninhibited range of lovemaking" to his now-estranged wife, Britney Spears.

Still Shackled

The paper cites a source close to Federline saying, "They did nothing all day but have sex - and play the odd game of chess."

Huh? K-Fed plays chess? We figured him for the checkers type, if you know what we're saying. We're saying he's a stupid f*%k and not smart enough to play chess.

Neither Britney or Kevin has confirmed the tape exists, but notorious porn broker David Hans Schmidt, who has said he is willing to pay up to $100 million for the tape if it is authentic, tells Us Weekly that he has been in contact with the alleged video's seller and plans to meet him in person today.

Although the seller spoke to Schmidt from a phone with a scrambled number, the man known heretofore as the Celebrity Sex Tape God says that the seller "dropped all the right names that made me believe he had the tape."

At the same time, TMZ reports that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline will get back together - just one more time, to assure the public they never made any sex tapes. Unlike Dustin Diamond. He made one. In which he gave some chick the Dirty Sanchez. Yuck. Please keep that Screech sex tape away from us, David Hans Schmidt.

A statement will be issued by Britney and K-Fed soon, the celebrity sleuths report.

Kevin Federline Biography

Family Love! Yo, it's Kevin Federline, yo. Werrrrrd. He's a deadbeat with no redeeming worth whatsoever, but yo, Federleezy is extremely fertile,... More »
Born
Birthplace
Fresno, California
Full Name
Kevin Earl Federline
× Close Ad