by Free Britney at . Comments

In a post earlier today, in which we ridiculed Nicole Richie, we off-handedly asserted that Kevin Federline had never held a job.

Well, the Gossip is prepared to issue a full retraction of that remark, as we have been informed that K-Fed was once employed at the car wash.

Golf Fiend


Yes, long before he became Mr. Britney Spears, Federline worked the Red Carpet for about two years. That's the Red Carpet Carwash in Fresno, Calif., to be more specific. He started at the vacuums and worked his way up to customer service!

What a go-getter!

Manager Gilbert Alander says his now-famous former employee came to him one day and announced he would seek fame and fortune as a dancer, and then he moved to Beverly Hills. There, he proceeded to dance periodically, procreate furiously and latch on to famous women with money.

One of Kevin's former co-workers confesses he and K-Fed would "get a little wild" and let their "hair down a little bit." We're not sure what this means exactly, but frankly, it is a little terrifying. Any time Federline goes wild, it can only result in disaster. Or more children.

by Free Britney at . Comments

... will get you some awfully inane remarks. Just wait. As previously reported, aspiring rapper Kevin Federline showed up in Times Square to hype Virgin Mobile's new 1-cent text-message service and launch the wireless company's "Save the Penny" fund-raising drive for various children's organizations.

"What's up, New York!" Federline shouted from a stage after arriving in an armored truck decorated with 120,000 pennies. "I'm here with Virgin Mobile to bring the power back to the penny! I feel good about the penny! I'm glad to give it back to these charities."

Fat Federline

Then he sent the first 1-cent text, claiming it went to wife Britney Spears. Whether the pregnant pop princess responded positively, or asked her hubby to snare some pennies for her former bodyguards' back pay, is another story.

In any case, Federline posed for the cameras holding up a penny, then slipping it in the armored vehicle's donation slot. Then he took a smoke break, wiped his hand on his pants and did a few television interviews.

"I just gave all my pennies to charity," he bragged. "A bunch of charities get these children off the streets - build a better life, build a better future, for these children. There's thousands of kids out here that have nowhere to go."

Finished with the compassionate interviews, K-Fed kissed publicist Marilyn Lopez goodbye as four bodyguards escorted him to a black SUV. A block into the ride, the SUV rear-ended a cab. Obscenities were traded between the driver and one of Federline's bodyguards.


by Free Britney at . Comments

A week after her emotional interview with Matt Lauer, the amazing Britney Spears has graced the cover of Us Magazine for what must be the 120th consecutive week. Only this time around, the popular publication has plenty of positive press to push.

Brit and penny-pinching hubby Kevin Federline apparently patched things up during a quick vacation to Miami Beach, where they were seen frolicking in the surf and playing in the sand with their 10-month old son, Sean Preston.

Poolside Snack

Spears has welcomed K-Fed back into the bedroom of their $7 million mansion in Malibu, Calif., after a rocky period resulting in his exile to the basement, sources say. However turbulent and exasperating, Mr. & Mrs. Federline are (at least for the next 12 hours) attempting to stay together.

Who is responsible for the couple's recent heart-to-heart that resulted in giving it another go? According to Us, it was the reputable Christian life coach hired by Spears' family to whip the pop princess into shape.

What a sweet job that must be. How does one get it? Send a resume to a Christian life coach firm? We may never know.

by Free Britney at . Comments

It appears that Kevin Federline is getting his act together and lobbying for a noble cause. Well, perhaps not the first part. Or the second.

Regardless, the gold-digging, white trash rapping aspirant is joining billionaire Virgin mogul Richard Branson to campaign for "penny awareness," according to a press release.

Fat K-Fed

Yes, we're serious.

The U.S. Government is debating whether or not to elimate the shiny copper one-cent piece of currency. And Federline feels compelled to try and stop this. Why? Because it represents his career earnings? Because he can probably steal a few pennies while he's there to pay off his credit card debt? We can't say.

In any case, Federline and Branson will be stopping by Times Square in New York City to highlighting the value of the penny and sign the "Save the Penny" petition, which will be presented to lawmakers in Washington D.C.

They will also be collecting pennies for charity to show that the penny, alone or collectively, carries weight and makes a difference.

This stunt smacks, at least to the Gossip, of a stunt by K-Fed to improve the public's perception of him. Which makes sense to a degree. With his current reputation as a backup dancer who can't dance, and a mooch who constantly impregnates people, he can only go up.

But does anyone really care if the penny is eliminated? Would it impact society negatively whatsoever? Who really wants to devote time to this? People are dying of hunger and disease. Tens of thousands are still struggling to recover from last year's hurricane season. Endangered species are suffering extreme habitat loss. Screech Powers is about to be homeless. Isn't there a more worthwhile cause? You people are idiots.

And why is Richard Branson associating with this guy in any way? Federline is a disease in his own right. It's only a matter of time before Branson is hit up for money. Let's just hope he makes K-Fed sign a prenup.

by Free Britney at . Comments

It's official. The wait is over and the US Weekly clock (which reached 78 days plus) can be retired. Britney and K-Fed were finally photographed together today as the one who wears the pants in the relationship apparently let the white trash, aspiring rapper out of the basement. Probably reluctantly. The guy stinks! Here's the image:

Britney and Her Brood

Good Lord. The fact that little Sean Preston is wearing a Sean P. jersey renders a comment unnecessary. Can someone call the Department of Health & Human Services?

by Free Britney at . Comments

Kevin Federline isn't feeling so secure lately.

The wannabe rap star has been banished to the basement by wife Britney Spears as marital relations with between the two remaining chilly. As a result, Federline is reportedly worried about what's in store for him down the line.

K-Fed Pic

With the relationship in shambles, Federline is going to great lengths to preserve the lifestyle of white trash mooch to which he become accustomed.

According to the Sun, a British newspaper, he's been spotted in a Malibu mall collecting numerous credit card applications, in hopes of accumulating massive amounts of debt and planning for the future in his own sick way.

"He realized without Britney he has hardly any money coming in to sustain his flash lifestyle," says the Sun source. "He figures Britney will pick up the bill anyway when the divorce comes through because they will have to split everything, including debts."

The Gossip feels comfortable speaking for most of America when is says this loser needs to get dumped (and neutered) ASAP. Look at poor little Sean P. and his beautiful mother. They need a stable influence. Someone who will be there for them, through thick and thin, not put them on the fast track to an endless payday loan cycle.

Brit, if you're reading this, you gotta drop it like it's hot! It being K-Fed!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Are Mr. & Mrs. Federline headed for divorce court? According to Kevin's friends, he and Britney Spears are still married. But for how long?

One friend, decked out in baggy pants and sunglasses (and probably a hat tilted sideways), says recent rumors of the couple's split are false.

Kevin Federline and Britney Spears Photo

"Everything you read in the tabloids about their relationship is fabricated. They're still together," the source said.

Others close to the Federlines said in interviews that divorce talk is off base, though none would agree to officially go on the record with a quote.

Reports out of the UK last week said that Spears signed preliminary divorce papers, allegedly after consulting with lawyers about splitting from Federline.

A source told Britain's News of the World newspaper that this is "a very stressful time" for Britney and that "she is serious about it… and knows she has to get things moving."

Spears has been at the center of speculation for months as her marriage is clearly on the rocks, and has been pretty much since the birth of son Sean Preston late last year. The singer, who is pregnant again, recently lashed out at Federline on her website, posting a picture of herself posing with a rude hand gesture.

The photo appeared under a poem entitled "Remembrance Of Who I Am," which is very likely aimed at her 28-year old backup dancer/aspiring rapper/WT spouse. The verse, believed to be written by Spears, asks "How do you stand sleeping at night," and goes on to describe how "manipulated," tied down and "swallowed" she feels.

This news is, indeed, hard to swallow. Not unlike Federline himself. Hopefully Britney can let out some frustrations at the gym this week, where she is reportedly spending a lot of time in preparation for a new CD.