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Every time we believe that the adventures of Britney Spears and her aspiring rap star husband, Kevin Federline, cannot get any weirder, the bar is somehow raised yet again.

Try and wrap your brain around this one. The Gossip has learned from the celebrity stalkers at the New York Post that, during Federline's recent trip to Vegas to shoot his upcoming music disgrace video, his mother was spotted partying in a VIP sky box at Tao Las Vegas.

Kevin Federline and Posse

With Ron Jeremy.

While K-Fed and wife Brit dined downstairs, the original Mrs. Federline reportedly partied with porn star Jeremy upstairs at the club. Ron had no comment on whether he thinks Tori Spelling enjoys his work, or would like to star in an X-rated flick. Probably because no one asked.

No one seems to know where Jeremy and the woman who brought Federline into this cruel world met, or why they were hanging out, or what transpired during their interaction. But we are confident saying that it's funny enough as is.

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Y'all ain't ready for Kevin Federline's new video.

Nor will you ever be. Because he sucks. Just clearing that up. The deadbeat husband and aspiring rap star hit Sin City this weekend to shoot the music video for his new song, "Lose Control." Somehow, the fact that K-Fed is going to have a music video produced for him never seems to get any less funny. Maybe that's just us.

Fat Kevin Federline Photo

In any case, the video was shot at the Vegas hot spot Pure, inside Caesar's Palace. Federline strolled through the club Saturday night minus his famous spouse, the embattled and very pregnant Britney Spears, but flanked by many homeboys, yo.

Britney spent the night chilling at Tao nightclub and restaurant, hanging with her William Morris agent, Jason Trawick.

Britney is carrying their second child in October, and the pair are letting its gender remain a surprise. Will they have a daughter (heaven forbid), or will little Sean Preston be greeted with a baby boy. Or, as K-Fed would call it, a boyyyy-eeeeeeeeeee! Sorry.

In addition to Britney tagging along for support, Federline had some backup from mixing wizard DJ AM, who joined him on stage for the filming of the video.

We're not entirely clear on what a "mixing wizard" does, but it most likely involves editing out all of Kevin's vocals. At the very least, one can dream.

On his MySpace page, K-Fed announced the time, date and location of the shoot to encourage fans to attend the filming of the video. But since MySpace is always slow as hell, and Federline is a complete tool, few showed up.

NOTE: We're not actually sure of that, but come on -- look who we're talking about. It's a safe bet. Sigh. If only what happened in Vegas really did stay there, as those retarded commercials state. Alas, this video is probably going to reach the general public at some point.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Hope you're sitting down for this one.

Some blogging counterparts of ours â€" Bricks & Stones â€" have posted pictures of a certain aspiring rapper in a new ad campaign. It is a pretty choice spread. Behold, the one and only Kevin Federline, in his new Five Star Vintage Advertising Campaign…

What a Gentleman

by Free Britney at . Comments

Y'all ain't ready for the debut of Kevin Federline, yo!

Nor will you ever be. On principle alone, this man should never be allowed anywhere near a stage, but USA Today reports that the aspiring rap star is gearing up for his first live performance just the same.

Federlizzle 4 Shizzle

Viewers will be "shocked" and his critics "surprised."

NOTE: Those are his words, not USA Today's. Or The Gossip's.

As we reported yesterday, K-Fed will be performing at the 2006 Teen Choice Awards awards show August 20. He'll rap his upcoming single, "Lose Control."

The plan is for wife Britney Spears, who is expecting their second child in September, to be his date.

"This is my first big event, and I need her support and I want her support. If she's feeling under the weather because of the baby, obviously she won't be able to be there. But she'll want to be there for me," he said.

Aww. Federline's career has been a complete f--king joke fairly quiet since he married Spears in the fall of 2004, and he is feeling the pressure to do well.

"It's been building up for a long time, and the process with the album took a long time," Federline says of Playing With Fire. "So I decided to just get out there and jump on stage. As a dancer, it was one thing, but now it's a whole different story."

K-Fed says that "certain dancers and performers who are good at what they do, the best at what they do" will join him on stage for the number. The much-maligned deadbeat added that he wants to prove himself "as an artist, as a rapper and as a human being in society who goes through everything everybody else goes through."

A tall order. But stranger things have happened. Probably, somewhere.

Federline and Spears have also been collaborating in the studio, with three duets to show for their efforts. He chose one to be included on his album, but he won't give away the title.

"It's not really a love song. It gives my point of view of how my family is and how tight my family is. People shouldn't believe what they're told about us. They should listen to what comes out of my mouth or my wife's mouth," said K-Fed.

We are well aware of what comes out of Britney Spears' mouth, thank you very much. Way to spell it out for us anyway. As for their marriage, he called it wonderful, and insisted that headlines suggesting otherwise simply aren't telling the truth.

"Even with the bad stuff, you go through it, and it just makes you love each other even more. Well, in our case, at least," Federline said.

Forgive us while we vomit out the window. The Gossip will return for another celebrity blog in approximately 15 minutes.

by Free Britney at . Comments

All the world will be watching the 2006 Teen Choice Awards. As they should. The two-hour event, scheduled for August 20 on FOX, is always met with some great anticipation. But this year could be the most interesting (and awful) one ever, due to a live performance by Kevin Federline.

31 and Proud

Yes, Kevin Federline. 

Performing.

Music.

Live.

Federline will close the award show with a performance of his single "Lose Control," which is set to be released in August. Anyone who pays money for that crap might as well just hurl yourself off a cliff now, because you will probably die alone someday anyway. But that's beside the point. The point is that Federline, the backup dancer turned deadbeat spouse, is making the rounds promoting his new album, Playing with Fire.

We aren't sure whether wife Britney Spears will be on hand to witness this embarrassment performance, but we will keep you posted. You know who will definitely be on hand, though? Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook. They will be co-hosting the event! That could be very interesting, as rumors continue to swirl around the couple.

It could also be interesting if Jessica fellates an ice cream cone on camera, like she does in her new video for "A Public Affair." Here's hoping for that.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The National Enquirer apologized to Britney Spears in its British edition Tuesday for reporting that she was ready to divorce white-trash deadbeat Kevin Federline.

Britney Federline

Articles published by the tabloid on June 5 and June 12 proclaimed: "Britney marriage is over!" and "Britney and Kevin: And now their divorce!" respectively. The stories were based on vague, uncredited sources supposedly close to the couple. Way to drag celebrities through the mud for no reason, a$$holes. You hacks are a disgrace to journalism and blogging.

According to Fox News, a beacon of journalistic standards in its own right, the retraction and apology said that National Enquirer officials "now accept that their marriage is not over and they are not getting divorced. These allegations are untrue and we now accept Britney's position that the statements are without foundation. We apologize for any distress caused."

American Media Inc., the publisher of the Enquirer, agreed to terms on a settlement with Paul Tweed, the lawyer representing Spears in both Great Britain and Ireland. The settlement requires a published apology, but no cash damages.

Too bad, because Federline loves cash he doesn't have to work for.

Spears reportedly pursued action on that side of the Atlantic because British and Irish laws are far more plaintiff-friendly.

The pop princess and the backup dancer / aspiring rapper / mooch of a husband wed in September 2004 and have a 10-month old son, Sean Preston, who will soon grow old enough to realize how f--ked up his life is. She is now pregnant with their second child, who is due to enter the world (and be traumatized) this fall.

"The couple are very satisfied with the Enquirer's prompt and good-faith response," Tweed said.

The apology and retraction was published today in the edition of the Enquirer published in England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales, and will be published Wednesday in the Republic of Ireland version.

The Hollywood Gossip would like to take this opportunity to note that it will never, ever retract a story about Britney Spears. Particularly if it involves nude pics. Thank you.

by Free Britney at . Comments

In a completely unbelievable attempt to show the world everything's fine with their marriage, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are planning to renew their wedding vows next month during a romantic ceremony in Hawaii.

Spederline

"It's all Brit's idea. She's convinced herself that their marriage is strong and wants to show she's fallen in love with Kevin all over again," a family friend dished. "So she wants to have a big, splashy ceremony with all their family and friends and the baby in attendance."

For the record, the two married on September 18, 2004. Less than two years ago. Who renews their vows after 22 months? Who marries a waste of space like K-Fed at all? Whatever. The two are determined to project an image of perfect harmony, and hoping to kill rumors that their marriage is on life support. Neither goal stands a chance in hell.

The singer, who is pregnant with her second child less than a year after giving birth to poor, innocent, destined-to-be-traumatized-for-life Sean Preston, has vowed to make the marriage work. She is determined, friends say, to reshape Kevin's image from a bumbling slacker to a kind, decent family man.

Yeah. That's happening.

With the notable exception of Pink, Everyone is taking shots at Britney these days. Enter ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake, who recently criticized her for being disloyal. The boy-band star, who split from Spears in 2002 and whose hit, "Cry Me a River," was a thinly-veiled slap at her, is amazed at how quickly their relationship turned sour after the breakup.

"When we initially parted ways, I felt like she had a couple of opportunities to just sort of stick up for me, and she didn't," JT told GQ.

by Free Britney at . Comments

In case you were wondering, Britney Spears is very pregnant... and feeling just a little uncomfortable with her body these days... and, for some reason, planning to collaborate with deadbeat husband Kevin Federline -- musically.

Britney Spears on GMA

"I'm so proud of Kevin. He's been working so hard on his own album since I got pregnant with Preston. I'm so lucky. He's a doll; he's adorable," she said.

Excuse me? Are we talking about the same person? Did Britney suddenly swap her spouse for someone who isn't a white trash, gold-digging drain on society? Because I swear we were talking about K-Fed here. Look at this man (below). He has no idea what to do with his time, other than walk around spending money and trying to look cool. And now he wants us to think he's a die-hard Yankee fan, too. What a disgrace to the proud tradition of the Bronx Bombers and to America as a whole.

Also in the works for Federline's (far) better half is a line of baby clothes Spears is designing, inspired by 10-month old son, Sean Preston.

"Hopefully, next year we'll have a fashion show, maybe at Disney World," she said.

Well K-Fed show? With both of their kids at that point? And his two other kids with D-List actress Shar Jackson? God help us all.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Britney Spears' worthless, white trash husband, Kevin Federline, is reportedly in talks with his wife's label, Jive Records.

The former dancer and ever-present drain on society announced plans last year to become a rapper, but has so far failed to land a record contract. Probably because he is a talentless, deadbeat hack. Yet Federline, 28, is hoping Jive will welcome his musical attempts with open arms -- or at least give him a pity deal.

  • Federleezy Fo Sheezy
  • Brit and Sons

"Nothing is definite yet, but it looks like K-Fed is going to keep it all in the family," says an unnamed source, which is probably not real.

Meanwhile, Spears quashed reports she is quitting the music business herself. The 24-year old singer, who took a break when she became pregnant with her first child, and who is knocked up yet again less than 10 months after giving birth, has vowed to make a comeback as soon as possible.

Brit says she can't wait to get back in the studio and on stage, because performing live makes her and baby, Sean Preston, happy.

"At one point I was thinking about becoming a stay at home mom, but when my son sees me dance he lights up. I know that's what I'm supposed to be doing. If mom is happy, baby's happy," the pop princess said.

We would guess that little Sean P., being less than a year old, is happy with just about anything. You know, eating, sleeping, peeing, not getting dropped on his head, etc. But whatever his mom wants to believe is fine with us.

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Britney Spears was rolling in her grave as deadbeat spouse Kevin Federline was spotted with one of his many children Saturday. In this picture, he's chilling with 23-month old Kaleb, his son with Shar Jackson. K-Fed also has a three-year old daughter, Kori, with Jackson, the D-list actress he ditched for Brit.

Papa-zao!

When asked if he told Dad that his shorts were seven sizes too large, or that his Yankees hat was crooked, Kaleb declined comment. Later in the day, when an innocent, ever-curious Kori asked her father where babies come from, he replied simply, "me."