by Mischalova at . Comments

Reading might come easy for Kevin Federline, but other parts of his life are complicated.

His fourth child is on the way; he'd had two wives; his rapping and acting career are just taking off. As the wife beater-wearing Yankee fan might say, sometimes you just lose control (cue awful vocals).

A Pregnant Britney Spears

At least K-Fed has a wife that understands. Rumors are swirling that Britney Spears plans to make one thing in her and her hubby's life as simple as possible:

She's going to have her second baby by C-section on Sept. 14 â€" the same day Sean Preston was born last year. Now the two slow-witted attention seekers (K-Fed and Britney, that is; we love Sean, the kid just has to learn how to dress well) don't need to remember multiple birthdays!

Thank goodness.

Britney isn't done with her baby planning (despite this baby, you know, not having been planned). Reports also state the baby will be given the name Jailynn, a mixture of the names of Britney's dad (Jamie), mom (Lynn), and little sister (Jamie Lynn).

Good. That's not confusing at all.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Actually, we can't confirm that fact. This may be one of those pop-up scripts.

Nevertheless, Kevin Federline is seen here studying his role in an upcoming episode of CSI. We're not sure what sort of bet producers of this hit show lost in order to hire Britney's bankrupt husband, but it must've been a doozy.

Kevin Federline Tats Photo

Extreme sarcasm alert: Those over at Grey's Anatomy must be shaking in their scrubs at the prospect of starring opposite K-Fed, now that both shows will air on Thursdays at 9 p.m.

It's like McDreamy vs. McDreamy.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The London Sun is reporting that Kevin Federline, who just scored a guest gig on CSI, also will showcase his sure-to-impress acting chops in three episodes of HBO's Entourage, playing the deadbeat husband of a celebrity.

T.H. Gossip's Take: Typecasting lives! Oh, snap!

Kevin Federline Black Card

Please note, however that this is according to the London Sun, which some may liken to the New York Post -- it's not the sleuths at T.H. Gossip who are bringing you this story directly.

Sometimes, we are forced to rely on people who might not be as reliable as we'd like... but such is the nature of the business.

Bottom line? K-Fed's career is really taking off. Our resident Entourage fan says that the show frequently mocks Hollywood, so we look forward to seeing Kevin's performance, if this story is legit.

As for K's family life, that's going great too, with one (poorly-dressed) son with wife Britney Spears already alive and kicking, and another bun in the oven about ready to come out October 31!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Numerous sources confirm that the wondrous Britney Spears is set to renew her wedding vows with disgrace white trash loser worthless human being husband Kevin Federline, the former backup dancer and current aspiring rapper she dubiously married in 2004.

The singer and husband will hold a ceremony this fall, shortly after the birth of their second child, rumored to be entering this cruel world on Halloween. Britney was expected to give birth next month, but Federline let it slip during a recent radio interview that his wife is planning to go into labor on Halloween day.

Kevin Federline Peace

Appearing on DJ Ryan Seacrest's KIIS FM show, Federline told the American Idol host that his second child with Spears was due "soon," later blurting out "October 31."

When pressed about his future family plans, the fertile Federline told Seacrest that he's totally "gonna slow down for a little while, I promise," yo.

Just as when Spears birthed son Sean Preston last September 14, his cute little sibling will be arriving via caesarian section.

This is convenient, as it makes it easy for mom to plan when she wishes to crank out her offspring, and for K-Fed to blab about it on the radio. In his defense, though, he may have confused the date with that of his many other kids' birthdays.

As for their renewed vows, the couple will invite hundreds of friends and family, as Britney hopes to show the world she is happily married. Good luck with that! In honor of this occasion, we've posed a close-up shot of Britney before she became a perpetually knocked-up, dark-haired train wreck.

A Pregnant Britney Spears

We're not saying she's ugly nowadays, like some assclowns have... but let's just say sometimes we long for the days of yore.

by Free Britney at . Comments

K-Fed is getting ready for his acting debut, but he hasn't forgotten about rapping just yet, With the release of his debut album, Playing with Fire, due to hit stores in October, the deadbeat complete failure multi-talented Kevin Federline is already throwing CD release parties. Here are a few pictures from the most recent one, which we came across:

  • Distraught Britney Spears
  • Kevin Federline Fist Pump

The guy sure loves his Yankees... and wearing his hat cocked to the side like a f*%king retard. Meanwhile, K-Fed's loving and supportive wife, and the mother of one (soon to be two) of his three (soon to be four) kids, Britney Spears, has unloaded her Manhattan condo. She finally sold the dump after it languished on the market for more than two years -- since before her marriage to Federline and the birth of their son, Sean Preston.

The 4,400-square-foot apartment fetched $4 million, $1 million more than the pop princess paid for it four years ago, but $2 million less than her original asking price of $6 million. Still, not a bad return on investment there, Brit. See that, Kevin? That's how people make money. Investing in real estate. Not by trying to rap and looking like a complete jackass.

As recently as last May, the three bedroom, four-and-a-half bathroom, four-floor apartment -- which also has a media room, library and terrace -- had been priced at $4.55 million, Spears' real estate broker confirms. Keith Richards and hip hop mogul Russell Simmons are both prior owners. Sounds like the buyers got a bargain. Sort of.

Chris Toland of the Corcoran Group, who represented the buyers, said that his clients, whom he would not name, are from Los Angeles and are quote-unquote "not celebrities."

TRANSLATION: They're freaking losers!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Kevin Federline's rap career may never get off the ground, but at least Mr. Britney Spears is trying to expand his career horizons. K-Fed, who made his nationally televised rap debut performance last Sunday at the Teen Choice Awards, is now gearing up for his debut as a TV actor on America's top-rated drama, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

Papa-zao!

While on the set of the show, Federline told People about the suddenness of the offer, and his excitement over the project.

"This is pretty much my first time acting. It's the first time I've actually had a speaking role. I was doing stuff for the Teen Choice Awards and got the call while we were rehearsing and I pissed in my pants! I was excited right off the bat. It's the only show that I really, really watch," said K-Fed.

Fans of Federline and his wife may remember their last foray into broadcast TV, a reality show fittingly titled Britney & Kevin: Chaotic, which aired on UPN in 2005. But in order to take on CSI, Federline knows me must rely on his instincts.

"I just read the script. They told me they wanted it to be more of a natural thing that comes to me," he said.

Spears' spouse will reportedly play a threatening teen who badgers investigators Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown. We would have guessed more along the lines of struggling, hyper-fertile rapper, but that's just us.

Federline's acting had better be better than his rapping, otherwise CSI might be showing signs of jumping the shark. Seriously. Is there really an actor shortage bad enough that CBS has to dial up Kevin Federline?

by Mischalova at . Comments

Every couple weeks, ESPN online columnist, Bill Simmons, responds to reader emails. As the Hollywood - and not the Sports - Gossip, such back and forths are typically not reported on here.

However, when one exchange involves the future of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, it's our duty to present it to our fans:

  • Bill Simmons Photo
  • Britney Spears Kevin Federline Pony Tail

Q: After watching the train wreck of a performance from K-Fed at the Teen Choice Awards, I started to think ... is Britney Spears the Mike Tyson of the pop world? Think about it, she got on top of her game at a really young age, blew by the competition and seemed to have peaked at around 21.

Then, she breaks up with Justin Timberlake (which could be Cus D'Amato dying). Then finds K-Fed (who is a mix of Don King, the rape charge, and Buster Douglas all in one). So what's next for my former dream girl?

Simmons: I just enjoyed that you described K-Fed as "a mix of Don King, the rape charge, and Buster Douglas all in one." Sums him up perfectly. But in the spirit of your analogy, I think WrestleMania is next for her. It's the logical next step.

After she pumps out the next kid, K-Fed leaves her for her sister, her next album bombs and she files for bankruptcy for the first time, I could totally see her becoming Triple H's manager for a few weeks and hitting John Cena over the head with her purse at WrestleMania XXVI. Just feels right.

by Free Britney at . Comments

"I actually got amazing-ass test scores on it." â€" Kevin Federline.

His Teen Choice Awards rap debut was heinous, but you can't keep K-Fed's spirits down. What is the world's biggest deadbeat and worst rapper talking about with this quote, you ask? The GED. That's the General Educational Development (or, as T.H. Gossip likes to call it, with a nod to Chris Rock, the Good Enough Diploma) test, of course.

Kevin Federline and Posse

The rapping aspirant is proud of his score, saying that he passed the high school equivalency exam with flying colors â€" "Not that it's the hardest thing in the world," he admits â€" with his math skills in particular being put to good use. He's calculated that his net worth, even after making $2 million on his reality TV show, is about… jack $h!t.

That's right, folks. Kevin Federline claims he does not have, or spend, money.

Wife Britney Spears might be worth as much as $200 million, but Federline tells GQ magazine that he's "almost broke," despite making a few mill on the UPN reality show Britney & Kevin: Chaotic.

Whatever. It's good to know that regardless of his financial situation, K-Fed can always fall back on his degree, one way or another.

"I got pretty high test scores for the state of California," the 28-year-old brags.

T.H. Gossip hereby challenges Federline to a GED contest. If he can beat any of our editors' scores, which are also amazing-ass, we'll never post a derogatory remark about him again. We're also officially challenging him to a dance-off and a rapping contest, since he's apparently not too solid at either of these professions.

by Mischalova at . Comments

And we thought it was difficult enough to pick a side in the ongoing feud between Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

  • Paris Hilton Head Shot
  • Fedex Man

Now, however, a true battle of the brainless is brewing. The same week that Paris releases her debut CD, Kevin Federline performs live for the first time on television. Is it any coincidence that searches for synonyms of "suck" and "abominable" were at an all-time high over the last couple days?

So, who stands the worst chance at making in the music industry? Which wanna-be singer will make Hansen look like lyrical geniuses? Mmmm, bop, it's hard to say. Let's go to the reviews!

On Federline: "I just think we ignore him. He's a joke, basically… I just don't think he gets it. He doesn't get that he's Britney's man and it's hard to take him seriously," said Elliot Wilson, editor in chief of XXL magazine.

On Paris: "Hilton's colorless, wafer-thin singing reminds us there are still limits to what technology can do for the human voice," said USA Today.

On Federline: "All you can do, is really just keep on plugging," said Jermaine Hall, executive editor of King magazine. "He's definitely going to have a teenage female fan base. So, you know, make songs that cater to them. Keep it clubby, keep it hoppy, keep it happy."

On Paris: "Right from her opening, Alvin and the Chipmunks-esque mewls of ''Yeah, that's hot" to the painful spoken-word interlude on ''Jealousy'' (sample lyric: Everything I did, I did because I cared), it's clear that just as the emperor had no clothes, the heiress has no voice, and there's not any amount of vocal layering or expensive production that can disguise it," Entertainment Weekly online said.

Wow. Can we have two losers? Obviously. (Although that number could climb to three with the inevitable album from Kristin Cavallari.)

Either way, the real winners here are the folks at thesaurus.com. Music critics will be in need of words for "dreadful" for as long as these two jokes continue to churn out their supposed music.

by Free Britney at . Comments

An embarrassing rap performance by Kevin Federline is being derided as a not-ready-for-prime-time disaster by critics in both cyberspace and the hip-hop community.

We are talking, of course, about Sunday night, when Mr. Britney Spears performed his new single, "Lose Control," to a peppy crowd at the 8th Annual Teen Choice Awards on Fox.

Federsleazy

Introduced by his wife, who was dressed in a raunchy, cleavage-baring dress despite her pregnancy, Federline stalked across the stage with a bad ass attitude as attempted to rap about bling, Cristal and his own lyrical skillz.

Riiiiiiight.

It was easily the most anticipated performance of the night, and the most ridiculed. By morning, reviews and videos of it were splashed on websites like this one, accompanied by snarky comments ridiculing both K-Fed and his rough-looking better half.

And if you thought the web universe was less than welcoming to Federline's rapping ambitions, the hip-hop community is even less so.

"I just think we ignore him. He's a joke, basically… I just don't think he gets it. He doesn't get that he's Britney's man and it's hard to take him seriously," said Elliot Wilson, editor in chief of XXL magazine.

Jermaine Hall, executive editor of King magazine, echoed that sentiment.

"The thing that really hurts him is the fact that he's perceived as Britney's husband," Hall said. "You know, kinda like Britney's second. I don't even want to say second in command, but he's like the Britney Boy. He's like Mrs. Spears, and it's kinda hard to get over that perception."

Federline is expected to release his debut hip-hop album, Playing With Fire, in October. Hall said that despite the barbs K-Fed is getting, he still has a shot at success.

"All you can do, is really just keep on plugging. He's definitely going to have a teenage female fan base. So, you know, make songs that cater to them. Keep it clubby, keep it hoppy, keep it happy," Hall said.

In what can't be considered a good sign for Federline, he was stood up at his Teen Choice Awards after-party by the likes of Nelly Furtado, Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook (the latter pair co-hosted the event). Reason being? None of them wanted to pretend they liked his effort. But hey â€" at least one celebrity showed up: Britney Spears! You gotta start somewhere.

Kevin Federline Biography

Family Love! Yo, it's Kevin Federline, yo. Werrrrrd. He's a deadbeat with no redeeming worth whatsoever, but yo, Federleezy is extremely fertile,... More »
Born
Birthplace
Fresno, California
Full Name
Kevin Earl Federline
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