by Free Britney at . Comments

Yeah, our bad. Looks like we don't have any Sutton Pierce pictures after all. :(

T.H. Gossip, courtesy of TMZ.com, has just peeped copy of the birth certificate for the latest addition to the Spears-Federline family, and it's official.

Britney Spears as a Cop

Jayden James Federline.

That's the little dude's name. It's not Sutton Pierce. Nor is Jayden James Federline a chick. Looks like Britney and Kevin really pulled a fast one on us. For what reason, we have no idea. Those are gonna be some f*%ked up kids, though. That is pretty much a given.

The birth certificate, which you can see below, is signed by K-Fed himself, although a close inspection reveals that the "signature" is more like printing.

In any case, he can write, which is somewhat surprising in itself. Kevin Federline inked his name on September 13, one day after Jayden was born.

Well, there you have it. The proof is in the mayonnaise sandwich. Er, the pudding. There was considerable confusion over the second child of Britney Spears' name, and we're happy that it's finally cleared up. Moreover, we are happy for Sean Preston and for the entire Spears family. We will have our fun gallery of Jayden James pictures up and running ASAP!

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Last week he got his ass kicked.

Last night, K-Fed was on the hunt for revenge.

Kevin Federline Shirtless

The "rapper" returned to WWE's Monday Night Raw last night to jeers and signs reading "K-Fed needs a Kick to the Head," "F-U K-Fed," and the best, "Hit Him Baby One More Time."

After taking a ringside seat to watch Johnny Nitro fight John Cena -- the guy who whooped on Kevin Federline last week -- Mr. Britney Spears decided to sabotage his enemy attempting to distract Cena during the fight.

It worked.

After Nitro viciously tossed John Cena outside the ring, K-Fed ran up to the dazed wrestler, reached back and pimp-slapped him right in the mouth.

Damn, son!!!!

Cena soon regained his senses, K-Fed instantly retreated, and the wrestler went back in the ring to win the match.

But as soon as Cena was crowned the victor, he looked to do some bitch-slapping of his own.

A frightened K-Fed retreated all the way to entry tunnel, before he fell backwards to the ground like a scared little puppy. Just as Cena was about to smash Federline to pieces, K-Fed's posse arrived. King Booker and Big Show sprinted out of the tunnel and ambushed Cena, as K-Fed stood far behind, laughing, taunting and leading a "Cena Sucks" chant.

After the match, K-Fed told the official WWE website that he returned to the ring to defend his family's honor.

"Britney was definitely watching, my whole family was watching. She can't have someone beating up her husband all over the place," he said. "I've got to stand up for my family and hold it down."

Admirable, really. The man is a warrior and our hat is off to him. Way to stick up for your spouse, Sean Preston, and Sutton Pierce/Jayden James, K-Fed.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The mystery deepens over Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's second child.

Not only are people questioning the baby's name, but there's buzz that the little guy might actually be a girl. Yesterday, reports began to emerge that the baby's name was not in fact Sutton Pierce but Jayden James.

Britney Spears with Jayden

But now source tells MSNBC that everyone might have it completely wrong, and that the baby is in fact a girl.

More supporting evidence came when K-Fed told a radio show recently that it was "crazy" that people tell him that the baby's a different sex than it actually is, and when Britney Spears was spotted buying pink baby clothes.

Whatever they're doing, it's all in the name of PR; an MSNBC source says that the mystery over the baby is being used to help maximize impact right around the time of the launch of K-Fed's CD, Playing With Fire, and that the first photos of the child are scheduled for release right around then.

Wow. Way to exploit your infant child for financial gain, Spederline. Poor Sean Preston and Sutton Pierce / Jayden James / Unnamed Spawn. You're going to have real normal lives for sure. Our hearts go out to the youngsters.

Oh, and if Britney is actually shielding the kid to generate buzz for K-Fed, that speaks volumes about how much K-Fed's music sucks. And we're out.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Where do you go as an emerging rap artist when you want to get your a$$ some serious street cred?

Everyone knows that a playa just gots to hit up tha Tonight Show wit Jay Leno, yo!

Managerial Mess

Which is exactly what K-Fed did (or thought he was doing) last night when he performed on The Tonight Show to promote his upcoming world tour, which kicks off November 4 in New York.

Hitting outlets like Leno and the Nickelodeon Teen Choice Awards, Kevin Federline is clearly going straight to the streets with his new album.

And, of course, with lyrics like the ones we've posted below, K-Fed is without a doubt the hardscrabble ghetto poet of the new millennium. Peep it:

Kicks on my feet

That you ain't never seen

Lights on my wrist

Stones in my ears

$2 million I brought in the new year

I'm rich but I hustle like I'm broke

Never knowing what the pancake man gonna flip.

Not only lyrically brilliant, but inspiring, really. We can't wait until the tour is in full swing and we can all revel in the greatness of the man Britney Spears somehow decided it was a good idea to marry.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Perhaps you have seen Kevin Federline in all his deadbeat, talentless glory and thought to yourself, "Man, what the f*%k is Britney Spears thinking? What I would not give to body slam the living $h!t out of that assclown!"

Well, tonight, WWE champ John Cena will live out your fantasy -- as somehow predicted by sage sports columnist Bill Simmons earlier this fall.

K-Fed, V-Prince Smokin'

During a taped episode of Monday Night RAW in Los Angeles, Federline made a surprise appearance in the ring and received a chorus of boos from a sold-out Staples Center crowd.

After an argument between K-Fed and Cena got physical, Cena decided it was time to "Lose Control" and unleash his signature move -- the F-U slam -- on Mr. Spears.

K-Fed, sporting his traditional white t-shirt and jeans, makes his way to the ring to a chorus of boos -- and meets John Cena when he gets there.

Also, Jackass star Steve-O takes a turn in the ring, but things don't go well for him, either. No Bam Margera sightings, sadly.

John Cena, you have acted on the wishes of millions by beating the snot out of Kevin Federline. And for that, we salute you.

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When asked if he thinks people see him as "that arrogant, cocky kinda guy," Kevin Federline looked right at the camera and asked:

"I don't know, do you?"

Fat Federline

K-Fed was being interviewed by EXTRA on the set of the smash TV show CSI, where he played an arrogant character known simply as "Punk" last night.

Here's Kevin Federline's take on his part:

"They catered the lines to stuff that I would probably say, you know, if I was being arrogant."

Sure thing. Needless to say, he did a bang-up job last night, and if this is what he can do with a few scant minutes, imagine what he could do with an entire feature film.

There was particularly notable sneer, for one, as he delivered the line "This little piggy went wee, wee, wee all the way home" with brilliance.

The King of Trailer Trash then flexed his animal-impersonation skillzz with a convincing porcupine impression equally compelling for its accuracy and its minimalism.

And he even made a clever, knowing, and sincerely-expressed encapsulation of his own existence with wife Britney Spears: "Free shower, free food, free sleep," he says, in a casual sing-song.

Although, as he perceptively noted, the lines were carefully crafted to his thespian sensibilities, there's no doubt that K-Fed brought the wealth and weight of his own experience to this performance. We can only hope that there are many, many more to come.

As for K-Fed's home life with Britney, Sean Preston and newborn Sutton Pierce, pictures rarely come along that sum it up better than this:

by Free Britney at . Comments

Kevin Federline knows all about Britney Spears' history with hunky back-up dancers, and he's not about to take the chance of being replaced by one who's not a complete dirtbag.

Former Sex Symbol

Yes, the disgrace known to America as K-Fed is apparently forbidding his wife from using male dancers in her new video.

Spears hired Matt Felker, one of the sexy guys from her "Toxic" video, to appear in her new video, according to In Touch Weekly.

In Touch reports that her deadbeat hubby "insisted that Britney fire Matt and all of the other male dancers she'd hired and replace them with females."

K-Fed -- who was, of course, once a back-up dancer for Spears -- is surprisingly insecure and secretly terrified. Not that he is a complete douche with no career prospects, but that the mother of his sons Sean Preston and Sutton Pierce will dump him if her career takes off again.

An inside source says:

"Kevin doesn't want Britney to be making sexy moves again. He's even telling her she doesn't need to lose all of her pregnancy weight."

Actually, she does. Why? Because we said so.

by Free Britney at . Comments

With his smokes at the ready, Kevin Federline hangs out with a similarly-dressed buddy in the San Fernando Valley on Tuesday. People magazine had the honor of snapping this pic of our favorite aspiring rapper and proud papa of Sutton Pierce. Pictures of whom we have not yet seen, but we will be sure to pass along to you once we do.

Over-Fed

K-Fed's acting chops will be on display when he makes his acting debut as a punk on Thursday's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. He will, as previously reported by THG, be playing an appropriate character: "Punk."

The episode is also somewhat fittingly titled "Fannysmackin." Awww yeah. Y'all know what we're talkin' about. So does Britney Spears -- first-hand.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Sometimes, you just gotta roll solo (or in the case of Nick Lachey, Soul-O).

At least in the case of the aforementioned Lachey, he was on the rebound and single when he was prowling for poontang. With Kevin Federline, it's a little different.

Fat K-Fed

The father of four (two with wife Britney Spears) and trailer trash legend was spotted partying hard with his wife not present for the second time in a week.

Although Britney gave birth to the couple's second child, Sutton Pierce Federline, not even a month ago, that has yet to stop Kev from getting his drink on. In this case, he was seen heading to new LA club Area with his entourage late Saturday night.

The venerable spies from TMZ caught Federline trying to hide from photographers as he made his exit, holding his hat in front of his face to obstruct the cameras' view.

Of course, it's hard to disguise one's self when one is wearing a Yankees hat cocked to the side and looks like a complete douche. A complete douche that happens to be married to Britney Spears.

But that's just our opinion. K-Fed was also spotted solo last weekend in Vegas where he celebrated the anniversary of TAO restaurant and night club.

by Free Britney at . Comments

They may not have millions of dollars, aspirations of rap stardom, a Malibu dream house filled with two boys (and counting), magazines banging down their door or paparazzi watching their every move, but they do have each other.

Yes, they may not be the real Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, but Jer Wayne Junior and Turleen -- a.k.a. the Trailer Trash Dolls, created by Daniel Libby -- spotlight the latest in hillbilly chic.

OMG What a Mess

Turleen, a true class act, comes barefoot and pregnant with her hair in curlers and a cigarette in her mouth.

Squeeze her belly and she'll tell you "Pour me a double. I'm drinking fer two" and "Bubba Jr. [i.e. Sutton Pierce], get off yer sister."

Jer Wayne Junior sports all the redneck essentials like a mullet, missing teeth, NASCAR tattoo, cigarette, dirty tank top and a beer in hand. It's almost like he's ready to "Lose Control" of his bodily functions at any moment, no?

Press his chest and he'll fart and whisper sweet nothings like "Fifteen of them beers and yer still ugly" and even "Honest, I'm not lying through my tooth."

The dolls sell for $33, come in a patriotic red, white and blue window display box, and make wonderful gifts for your next holiday pig roast.

Rumor has it that little Sean Preston already has a set.

Kevin Federline Biography

Family Love! Yo, it's Kevin Federline, yo. Werrrrrd. He's a deadbeat with no redeeming worth whatsoever, but yo, Federleezy is extremely fertile,... More »
Born
Birthplace
Fresno, California
Full Name
Kevin Earl Federline
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