by Hilton Hater at

She has a lot of competition, but Kelly Bensimon may have officially penned the most ridiculous, insulting, pompous celebrity memoir book of all-time.

The Real Housewives of New York City cast member has signed a deal with St. Martin's Press to pen a book tentatively titled "I Want to Make You Hot." The title is self-explanatory, Bensimon said in a statement:

Bensimon, Kelly

"Spend seven days with me and my expert friends and we'll have fun with exercise, eat better, dress amazing, have more fun and smile through a life that's too short."

Planning to include over 40 recipes and tips on healthy living, Kelly adds "we can control how we look and feel, so let's get started together." The book will be released some time next year.

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by Free Britney at

It's just Jill. It's just Ramona. It's just the housewives at their bitchy best.

At the launch party for her new wine, Ramona can't stop screeching at Jill. Jill walking away does nothing to halt her tirade. Ramona can't seem to stop herself.

Perhaps she needs to drink a little more of her own wine or more than likely, she's had way to much of it. 

Ramona Singer: Crazy Eyes!

Earlier, Ramona has a photo shoot. She feels her picture needs to grace the cover of her products. I'm shocked.

Ramona playing model is always downright frightening. Her "sexy eyes" are just plain creepy. Then an assistant tells her she looks like a young Pamela Anderson.

Wow. How much money do you have to pay to get that much sucking up.

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by Free Britney at

Jill Zarin is back and thank goodness. I have to admit, I actually missed her.

She says her time away gave her a chance to reevaluate her priorities and she plans to stay out of the gossip and the drama. Right. That lasts all of five minutes.

I almost can't blame Jill for that though. These ladies breathe drama and they can't open their mouths without gossiping. 

Jill Zarin Returns

Ramona not joining the group for lunch makes her the instant topic of conversation. Kelly laments having to confront Ramona about her threatening text message.

The drunken text wasn't nice but I wouldn't call it threatening. As Sonja put it, "a threat is a horsehead in your bed."

But the group decides that Kelly needs some help and Sonja role-plays giving the funniest most spot on Ramona impression to date. How much time do these ladies spend together anyway?

Since Luann calls Ramona a "nasty little fighter" Kelly brings Sonja along for backup. 

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by Free Britney at

How can you not love the Hamptons? It's so beautiful, so peaceful. 

That is until the housewives arrive, drink all the Pinot and steal the dip.

I used to think Kelly was the crazy one of the group but lately I've begun to realize that that title is up for grabs. Ramona scares me. I think it's the crazy eyes. She makes Kelly look sane. The fact that Ramona has no filter between her brain and her mouth is highly entertaining to watch but must be hell to live with.

Gettin' Ramona'd

I lost track of the number of people Ramona offended in this episode.

First she calls out Luann's mothering abilities at a party. Granted, I question the idea of leaving two teenagers virtually unattended for a couple of days.

Who is this "mother's helper" Luann speaks of? Luann's kids come across as intelligent and well behaved but even the best teenagers find trouble.

That being said, Ramona still had no business questioning Luann's parenting and certainly not in public.

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by Free Britney at

The Real Housewives of New York City were back again last night with speed dating, runway walks, and hair removal, and the results are simply ridiculous.

Ramona is asked to take another run at the catwalk. Given the fiasco her walk created last year I can only imagine that she's invited back as a publicity stunt.

It's hard to say which is funnier, Ramona's zombie eyed expression or the height difference between her and all of the other models.

One by one these tall, slender, professional models hit the runway and then there's Ramona and you have to look two feet lower.

Ramona on The Real Housewives of New York

As one of the ladies quipped, it's like Ramona is the mascot.

Alex gives modeling a go as well with a campy photo shoot. OK, I guess it's trying to be high fashion but the entire picture was absurd. I'm not sure what was worse, the hair teased to look like a brillo pad, the overly dramatic eye makeup, or Alex's strange expressions.

Then Alex shows up to Ramona's event wearing the get up she was photographed in.

I know she says she had to run straight from the photo shoot, but showing up with that hair took guts. The ladies comments range from asking if she wore a wig, wondering if she'd had an electrical shock, and thinking she was a koochi girl. 

I will say I enjoyed parts of Ramona's speech.

Her father refused to pay for her education because he thought it would be a waste of money since she'd just get married and have babies. Coming from that sort of environment to running her own businesses, Ramona is an inspiration.

Unfortunately, that only applies to business, not necessarily friendship.

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by Free Britney at

It's all about ME.

That's the theme as Sonja takes center stage. So, the Marriage Equality of New York (MENY) march asks Sonja to be the Grand Marshall? Is she really that big of a draw?

I mean I know I'm not their target audience but still, Sonja's a gay icon?

Oh, and in case you missed it, it's Sonja Morgan's special day. 

Alex Glares at Sonja

It's a scary, scary world when Kelly Bensimon is the voice of reason.

The ladies (and Simon) make fools of themselves. The wedding gowns look ridiculous as Luann's keeps popping open, Sonja wears a toga inspired number (perhaps this was her goddess impression) and Alex looks absurd as she bickers with everyone in her veil.

How could Sonja not let Simon speak? It's about gay marriage. Poor Simon wore his sequin rainbow tux. He took the jacket out of the closet. He'd like his opportunity now. "I like my men," says Simon. Yes, Simon. We never really questioned it.

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by Free Britney at

The Real Housewives of New York City are back and time away has done nothing to heal old wounds. Perhaps if these ladies retracted their claws, it might slow the bloodshed. But then again, what fun would that be?

Bethenny Frankel has jumped ship to start her own reality series but Jill Zarin is still smarting from the loss of the friendship.

In true Jill fashion, she lays all of the blame at Bethenny's door, stating that her former friend is just one of the those women who no longer has a need for her girlfriends as soon as she finds a husband.

Ah, Jill. Nice way to take your share of the responsibility for the breakup.

Jill Zarin Cries

Jill's losing friends fast. Alex and Jill just can't stay away from one another and Ramona keeps fueling that fire. Seems that Jill's good friend is enjoying throwing arch nemesis Alex in her path every chance she gets. 

The new and improved Alex says her goal is to voice her opinions but it looks more like she's gunning for a fight. There's speaking your mind and then there's just being bitchy. I'm not sure Alex knows the difference yet.

Speaking of bitchy, Alex's little scene with Jill at the wedding certainly showed her spiteful side. Although Jill's explanation about being on an "honorary committee" sounded patently absurd.

Apparently it's a committee for people who care enough to lend their name but not quite enough to actually show up for the event.

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by Free Britney at

Despite rumors that he's back with Cameron Diaz, Alex Rodriguez was spotted flirting with Real Housewives of NYC star Kelly Bensimon in Miami the other night.

At the Art Basel party at Wall, hosted by Vito Schnabel, Stavros Niarchos and Alex Dellal, "He had his arm 'round Kelly and they were flirting," a witness said.

The next day the two were seen browsing art at the Convention Center.

Kelly Bensimon Playboy Pic

HOME RUN: What's not to like about this if you're A-Rod?

A source said, "While Alex was recently seen with Cameron Diaz again, they're not together. He is single." Reps for A-Rod and Bensimon have not commented.

What's not to love about this couple? They're both New York nightlife regulars, and the Rod likes his women a bit masculine (Madonna, Joslyn Noel Morse, etc).

These Kelly Bensimon bikini pictures, though? Kinda whack.

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by Hilton Hater at

It's official: Kelly Killoren Bensimon is still a Real Housewife of New York City. She has signed a contract to return to that show for another season.

It's also official: Kelly Killoren Bensimon is not crazy; the show is scripted; and Danielle Staub receives unfair treatment. The reality star made all those claims and more in a new interview with Fancast.

Dear Reality TV Producers: Why have you not placed Kelly Bensimon and Danielle Staub in a show together yet?

Regarding the Housewives franchise as a whole, Kelly says: "It is hilarious. It’s an amazing view of all these different women in all these different parts and cities around America. It’s a fun snippet of a look into these people’s lives. It’s great, great, TV."

The ratings do back up that final assertion. Below, check out what else Bensimon has to say on a number of topics:

On the show being scripted: After [the Virgin Islands episode], people were like, ‘Wow. That was really hard to watch.’ And I said, ‘Why? That’s television. What’s so hard about watching that? Because I was crying and saying leave me alone and stop berating me and attacking me?’ In normal situations, you would excuse yourself from the drama.

But in normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have even been there in the first place. I would never choose to put myself in that kind of environment. I would never go on vacation with people that I wasn’t friends with or didn’t trust.

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by Free Britney at

When two of the more annoying reality TV fixtures in recent years collide in a fashion face-off, you know it's going to be a style smackdown for the ages.

The Real Housewives of New York City drama queen Kelly Bensimon picked her A/X Armani Exchange romper for a movie premiere in (where else) NYC.

Meanwhile, The Bachelor star, now ex-fiancee of Jake Pavelka and all-around class act belted a printed one-piece for a pool party she hosted in Vegas.

Who rocked this fashion statement better? Vote below!

Kelly, Vienna

Which star's style do you like better?

 

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