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Was there a contest this week between The Real Housewives of New York City to see who could be the biggest b!tch? Watching it, you'd think so!

Let's run down all the sniping, back stabbing, and name calling in THG's +/- review:

Luann was pitching her latest music video. As if the last one wasn't bad enough. She wanted the video to exude class and elegance, but it came off as amateurish silliness. Minus 10 for subjecting me to another song from the Countess.

Lame Countess

Luann wanted all of the Housewives to appear in her video but not everyone wanted to play. Ramona and Luann had a sit down where Ramona says the video isn't the message she wants to send her daughter.

I could see both sides of this one. Ramona's generally not very concerned about Avery's reaction when she's wearing skimpy dresses or photographed while out partying.

At the same time Luann's last video had her sprawled on a bed cavorting with several scantily clad men. I'm with Ramona on this one. Plus 15 for taking a pass.

Of course Ramona couldn't do it without insulting Luann's parenting abilities. OK, she didn't come right out and say Luann's an absentee mother but Luann couldn't miss the insinuation. Ramona could have handled that better so Minus 5.

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This week on The Real Housewives of New York City, Sonja Morgan throws a Burlesque party and costumes are required as long as they show some skin.

As always, THG recaps all the craziness in our +/- review!

The Housewives have some serious mother / daughter bonding time with mixed results. Ramona takes Avery shopping ... for a burlesque outfit? What exactly is she teaching her 16-year-old? Where to buy her bustiers and S & M gear? Minus 5.

But I must admit, Avery always seems to have more sense than her mother. She turns down an invite to the party and she earns a Plus 7 for telling Ramona that she'd look like a chicken in that feathered outfit. 

Burlesque Action

Why does Ramona find it hard to believe that Avery wants her parents home? Yes, the teenager might be holed up in her room but she's still a kid. She craves stability and comfort, knowing her parents are home, not out gallivanting every night. 

Jill Zarin visits Allie at school where she hears about the girl's curriculum which includes Latin film and sex theory classes. Then she tells Jill she wants to be a sex columnist. Plus 5 to Jill for not reacting too badly. I think Allie's really trying to press her buttons. She should really give her a break. She is buying her $150 jeans.

Jill gets a Plus 10 for calling Allie out on her pseudo vegetarianism. I don't care if you eat chicken but you are not a vegetarian, no matter how cool it is to use the term.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

I hate to sound like Kelly, but Simon is so weird. He's always creeped me out and this installment of The Real Housewives of New York City was no exception. So let's recap everyone's quirks in our patented +/- review, shall we?

Cindy throws a party to launch her new wax and body bejeweling kits. Everyone gets into the act, but PLUS 10 for Brad going all out with a bejeweled tramp stamp. No, we haven't gotten to the weird part yet.

Simon in Trouble

That takes place when Simon finds Jill. First, he sits down so close he's practically feeling her up. MINUS 5 for already making me uncomfortable. Then he starts the conversation by saying, "You and Alex have burned."

Excuse me? As Jill is just as confused as the rest of us, he explains that he's referring to Jill and Alex sharing the fire pit. Finally, he goes into his request for lunch because "we need to talk."

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Birthdays abound on this week's Real Housewives of New York. Whose party was the hottest? Whose was a train wreck and who wore the shortest skirt? Read on as we analyze all things Housewives in our +/- review!

How many birthday parties can they fit into one episode of Housewives? Three must be a new record and I'll offer up a Plus 5 for giving equal time to them all.

Jill is up first as Luann throws her a surprise birthday party at Chez Josephine. Luann says the venue is red and outgoing and reminds her of Jill Zarin. Ramona finds it claustrophobic and cramped. I simply think the entire party was a train wreck. 

Sweet 16 Stizzyle

First we have the cheesy magician who will seemingly try anything to get on camera. Minus 3. Then what the hell is Simon wearing? I'll give him a Plus 5 for never ceasing to amaze me (or is it scare me) with his wardrobe choices. 

Ramona is downright frightening as she dons a red wig and starts screeching "Bobby, I want bigger diamonds." If her goal isn't to insult Jill, I'm lost as what it is. Minus 7 for embarrassing herself and the birthday girl.

Can someone please tell Luann that she can't sing? Her performance and Vegas showgirl / drag queen impersonation is a pathetic attempt to be the center of attention. Minus 10 for not knowing when to sit back and play the good host, quietly.

From there we move on to the Sweet Sixteen parties, minus the sweet. 

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Be it in Morocco or New York, the Real Housewives can't stay out of trouble or each other's business. Let's recap their ups and downs with our +/- review!

On her return from Morocco, Ramona sets up a serious date night. Negligee, rose petals, the works but Mario leaves her waiting which gets a Minus 5

Ramona tells him about the fortune teller. Wow, that took some guts. Of course he denies that there's anyone else and hey, we have no proof that there is but Mario just comes off sleazy to me. Then Ramona gives him a foot massage. Did anyone else feel like she was trying too hard?

Real Housewives Romance

Simon gets a Plus 8 for being the only husband to pick his wife up at the airport. That is always romantic but the basket full of panties and Simon's comments while Alex models the lingerie made me cringe. What really killed it for me was having to listen to Simon's cheesy lines. I suppose Alex must find it a turn on but Minus 5 for me.

Cindy's slideshow was making me dizzy and I can't believe Sonja cut her out of all of the photos. Petty but very funny and I'll give Sonja a Plus 5 for admitting it.

Sonja takes a trampoline class? For adults and coed? OK, I'm out of the loop. What the heck goes on in a trampoline class?

Sonja keeps the tags on all of her clothes. Minus 7 for being incredibly tacky. And yet she's declaring bankruptcy for $19 million. Whatever happened must have been a very bad business deal. Damn. There's obviously details we're not getting. I'm wondering if Sonja even understands them all herself.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Tears. Lots of tears.

That's what happens when things spiral out of control between Jill and Ramona. It's the aftermath of their battle as The Real Housewives of New York City continue their Moroccan adventure. THG's +/- recap breaks it down:

"That will be a day rotting in hell before I kiss that woman's ass." Jill cries. Jill's upset but then Luann jumps in saying she won't let that happen. Then she storms off to find Ramona. Minus 7 for taking sides without having been in the room.

Send Pinot NOW

Alex describes Luann as acting as though she were watching the Christians being fed to the lions and although I was taken aback by the description, I can't disagree with it. Luann reacts with a strange combination of judgement, condescension, and glee. 

On the other side of the house Ramona is crying as much as Jill but her friends have a different way of dealing with it as Sonja asks, "Do we have any Pinot Grigio?" Plus 5 for knowing the best way to calm Ramona.

Everyone tries to pull it together enough to go out and have a good time but Jill and Ramona seem to be the only ones really trying. The rest of the group can't keep from sniping at one another. 

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New York City are still on their Moroccan adventure and needless to say, the fireworks haven't stopped.

Find out who made up and who simply gave up in THG's +/- recap!

We open the episode right where we left off last week as the psychic tells Ramona that there is another woman after her husband. Suddenly everyone is speculating whether Mario is cheating on Ramona.

You R So Lucky!

Kelly and Luann are tripping over one another to get the translation correct. They get a Plus 5 for trying to take their jobs seriously but Deduct 3 because their bickering over interpretation made things even more confusing.

Sonja bursts into tears. She does a lot of that this week. Maybe she's flashing on the fact that her husband left her. Maybe she just feels that badly for her good friend Ramona but I'm handing her a Minus 5 because in the end Ramona ended up consoling her. Shouldn't that have been the other way around?

Jill quickly gossips with the crowd that she's heard that Mario's been fooling around. Ooh, that's a Negative 5 on the friend meter.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kelly Bensimon is about to be a mother and a wife again. Sort of. Not really.

But don't tell this Real Housewives of New York City cast member that. Following a trip to Morocco, she's banking on the recent forecast of a fortune teller.

"The psychic in French tells me I think too much, and that I am going to get married and I am going to have a baby," Bensimon told a radio show this week, "This year I'm not going to have a baby but I'm going to be pregnant and I'm going to get married."

Photo of Kelly Bensimon

Bensimon already has two daughters - and a misguided view of love. Just consider her take on Kim Kardashian:

"Just the other day we hear that Kim Kardashian is engaged. She is so unbelievable and I have so much respect for her... I'm jealous. I am."

[Photo: WENN.com]

by Free Britney at . Comments

This week on The Real Housewives of New York City, the Moroccan adventure began and there seemed to be a contest for who could be the ugliest American.

Join THG for its +/- recap, with points awarded for the worst behavior! Yes, since these are the Real Housewives, inappropriate and ridiculous are positive ...

The first group headed to Morocco included Luann, Jill, Kelly, and Cindy. The four behaved themselves, more or less and arriving without incident. Minus 5 each.

Along For a Long Ride

Luann made certain the staff greeted her properly as Countess de Lesseps. Oh, that Countess title just never gets old. Plus 3 for ego. She also earned a Plus 2 for name dropping when she subtlety inserted that Brad Pitt just left the Riad. She's back up to zero points.

Kelly gushed that this was a trip of a lifetime. She loved the Riad, calling it warm and luminous and was concerned about greeting the staff properly. Kelly obviously didn't know we were vying for ugly American points today. Minus another 5 for such appropriate behavior.

Ramona's worried this trip won't meet her standards. She must have the right type cotton sheets, her feather pillows and "I need my Pinot Grigio at all times." Ah, good to know she'd be coming to Morocco with an open mind. Plus 3. Add an additional point for the mention of her Pinot.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New York City were back this week for plenty of sniping, tears, and Pinot. As Luann plans to take the ladies on a Moroccan vacation, Cindy buses the girls out to the Canyon Ranch Spa and Ramona ...

Well, Ramona continues to guzzle her own wine.

THG breaks it all down in our +/- recap below!

Luann decides to treat the ladies to a fabulous vacation… to Morocco. Where can I find a friend like Luann! Plus 10.

Jill and Cindy are in immediately. Plus 5. Ramona reacts negatively. Morocco's too exotic for her but on further thought says she'll make it work. Maybe she's afraid the country doesn't carry her Pinot. Minus 3.

Girls Weekend! Yeah!

Alex is in but laments that Simon doesn't like couscous. For having her relate everything back to Simon, Minus 2. Kelly agrees to think about it and after the fiasco that was last year's trip, I don't blame her for hesitating. She gets a Plus 1 for just considering it.

What's up with Luann's hoop earrings. I know these ladies like their jewelry large but my dog could jump through those. Plus 1.

Luann calls Ramona out on attacking Jill at the party last week. Plus 4. Ramona of course blames it all on Jill. Minus 3.

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