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Ugly fights are a standard on The Real Housewives of New Jersey but "When Joes Collide" might just deliver the knock out punch. We recap why everyone should just retreat in our THG +/- review.

The Gorgas, Giudices, and Wakiles head to upstate New York for a team building / conflict resolution retreat. What could possibly go wrong?

On Her Knees


Yes folks, that's a joke, because this thing never even stood a chance. But let's start with who bailed before it even got started.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey found Melissa Gorga unknowingly "Drinking With the Enemy". We recap the liars, cheaters, and so-called friends in our THG +/- review

It all starts out innocent enough. Kathy's cooking in her test kitchen and Rosie's recounting how she had to pull her cartilage back into place after her meeting with Teresa.

Minus 10. Did we really need to hear about that?

Crazy Train to Jersey



Then Rosie shares Teresa's idea of a retreat between the Guidices and Gorgas and invites the others along.  

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"It's My Party and I'll Fight if I Want To" shows that no The Real Housewives of New Jersey birthday party is complete without drama, even if the party is for a 12 year old.

We try and make sense of the lies and catty comments in our THG +/- review.

Gia & Teresa

Gia Giudice is turning 12. At 12 I think I had 10 kids at my party. Gia's parents rented a club for 100 people. Does anyone else get the feeling the girl is already smarter than both of her parents? 

Hopefully she doesn't inherit her mother's fashion sense. Purple zebra spandex. Minus 8. Even at the gym that should be unacceptable.

With her birthday looming Joe Giudice takes his little girl out for daddy / daughter time. When he started lecturing the pre-teen on spending more time with her family I groaned. Minus 10.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey are blindsided when "A Bald Canary Sings," or are they? We'll recap who got set up and who set the trap in our THG +/- review.

Let's go back to the beginning.  Melissa's getting ready for yet another meeting with some producer about her singing career. I couldn't care less about her musical future but I'd definitely pair the leopard print shoes with that dress.  Plus 7.

Oh, and if there is a God I will never be subjected to seeing Joe Gorga in a g-string.  I refuse to let my imagination go there.  Minus 12. The mere thought is frightening enough.

Joe Gorga Shows Off

The Manzos visit their boys in Hoboken for brunch and could Caroline make Lindsey feel any more uncomfortable?

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On The Real Housewives of New Jersey the "Dinasty of Denial" only grows once everyone returns to Jersey.  We recap the cutest and scariest ways they all try to move forward in our THG +/- review.

It's back to Jersey and back to school for the Gorga and Guidice clans.  As Teresa has to yell and push to get everyone out of bed, Joe Gorga's making delicious looking pancakes for his brood. 

But despite the cute family scene the Gorga's still miss the bus for the first day of first grade.  Still, I've got to give them a Plus 8 for rolling with the punches.  Joe and Melissa both laughed it off, jumped in the car and drove off.  At least they got some fun family photos.

A Gorga Breakfast

Back at the Guidice home, Joe's comparing cousin Kathy to a frog and making fun of Caroline's hair.  Teresa gushes about how her husband is "really, really, smart."  Wow.  That's just scary.  Minus 10.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey's California vacation finally came to an end and it was all "Hot Tub of Sour Grapes" as Caroline and Teresa went at it.

We break down all the face grabbing fun in THG's +/- recap ...

Caroline Points Fingers

When Teresa left Kathy out of her toast last week, was it an unintentional slight or a purposeful shun. In the end it doesn't matter as Kathy turns the focus onto someone else.

Instead of dealing with her own issues, Kathy throws Caroline under the bus.  Minus 12.  Of course she swears she has the best of intentions but is Kathy really that naive?

With everyone listening in on Teresa and Kathy's conversation, am I the only one who hoped that Caroline really would walk over and dunk Teresa's head in the hot tub?  Plus 15.  That could have been awesome but unfortunately we never got to see it.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey are headed to Napa...the long way. "Pack Your Baggage" finds the ladies camping in heels. We recap all of the stupidity in our THG +/- review.

The show opens with the recap of Caroline commenting that Albie hasn't had a serious girlfriend in about two year but how he should really be concentrating on work. Minus 7. Albie's a grown man. Can't he have a career and a girlfriend?  You'd think mom would want him to be happy.

Well Momma Caroline might not be pleased when she hears that Albie's asked Lindsey to move in.  Actually Albie, Chris and Greg all ask her to move in and it really is kind of sweet.  Plus 10. Nice job boys.

Road Trip Videos

But the trip to California is closing in almost as fast as hurricane Irene but that's not about to stop this crew. With the airports closed they ditch their kids on their parents and drive several hours to catch a flight out of Pittsburgh. Plus 8 for sheer determination.

Did we really have to witness both Joes peeing on the side of the road? Were the fast food restaurant bathrooms not good enough for them. Do their mommies need to remind them to go before they leave? Minus 12.

It takes a road trip and two flights to get this crew to San Francisco. What do they do when they're bored on a road trip? Watch videos of cows having sex of course. Minus 9.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey try to "Sit Down and Man Up" before the big trip to Napa. Will any of it help them avoid complete and utter disaster? Let's recap all of the planning meetings of a vacation destined for failure in our THG +/- review.

Teresa's brand just continues to grow. She's got the books. Now she's planning on a line of Teresa aprons, her own specialty Bellini and maybe even T's pasta. Where will it end?

This all may be Teresa's dream but Joe can't keep his nose out of the middle of it. Minus 10 when he can't let Teresa get a word in edgewise during her meeting at the winery. 

But a big plus 15 because someone finally told Teresa that ingrediences is not a word! How many seasons has that taken?

Teresa's Dirty Laundry

Did anyone else find it funny that Joe was telling Teresa that her driving sucks when only one of them has a valid driver's license and it's not him?

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey celebrated Antonia's birthday and if you were looking for an over the top affair for a six year old then you came to the right place. We recap all of the indulgence of the showy soiree in our THG +/- review.

It was nice that Melissa didn't over do it for her six year old's birthday party. She invited all of their family and friends plus all of the kids from Antonia's school. There was a bounce house, a giant crawl through caterpillar, tents with cotton candy and popcorn, a henna tattoo artist…did I miss anything.

Melissa Gorga Fashion

Minus 10 because the most ridiculous thing was watching Melissa Gorga get her makeup professionally done for a kid's party while she swore to her husband that she was NOT high maintenance.  I'd like to know what's her definition of that term.
Across town Joe Guidice bails on the party and Milania calls her dad a big poop.  Plus 5.  I couldn't really disagree with her assessment.

But the party had its moments.  Plus 7 to Teresa who crawled into that caterpillar with the kids. I hope she grabbed some hand sanitizer when she finally found her way out.

Plus 5 to Joe Gorga who got in on the fun and let the kids watch him get his own tattoos.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey look for some help from a professional but when it's all just "Temporary Shrinkage" can you expect the results to last? We recap all of the drama of therapy in this week's THG +/- review!

Is that really just a garage Joe and Teresa are building back there?

It's bigger than most single family homes but then again do these two know how to do anything normal? Minus 10.

But Plus 8 for appearances. The Guidice kids may act like brats but they look adorable in those matching overalls and even Joe seems more human as he tries to teach his little girls how to spread the concrete.

Teresa and Joe Giudice Pic

In an unexpected surprise Rosie shows up on the Guidice doorstep ticked off because of all the things she's read about Teresa putting down her sister. Minus 9. That's been going on for over a year now. What took her so long?

Teresa just looks at her perplexed as though she doesn't know what she's talking about and remarks that she doesn't store things in her brain. Yeah. No kidding. 

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