Kate Major

Kate Major used to work as an assistant to Lindsay Lohan and was, like, totally, her BFF. No wonder Linds is grossed out by her dad tapping that four times a day.

Back when she was a Star Magazine reporter, Kate, who got engaged to Michael Lohan this week, was also Lindsay's assistant and best friend. Kate says it's cool.

Why? Because she didn't get paid with money, just exclusives.

Could this family be any more messed up, do you think?

It's true, though. She met Michael, who introduced her to Jon Gosselin, with whom she had a brief fling last summer, because she used to be Lindsay's assistant.

It's really a shame this friendship ended.

Kate Major was key member of Lindsay's entourage, serving (either paid or unpaid) as a driver, confidant, an all-purpose factotum, according to inside sources.

"Kate was really close with Lindsay when she was in rehab at Cirque Lodge in 2007," says one source. "Kate drove her back to Los Angeles from Utah and was the one that brought in the first-person post-rehab interview for In Touch."

They should tell that story at the wedding.

Adds the source: "They hung out and partied a lot together after that. But Lindsay stopped returning her calls when Kate started getting closer to Michael Lohan."

"Kate used to go out to the Hamptons and hit events with him and his girlfriend [now ex-fiancee] Erin Muller. She had a picture on her desk of the three of them."

Kate Major tells PopEater in response that while she was her assistant, "I was never paid to be her assistant. Lindsay and I did not stop talking because I got close with Michael, what happened was I moved to New York and we grew apart."

Michael Lohan and Kate Major not only got engaged, they're wasting no time trying for a kid. Mike says they "practice at least four times a night" in fact.

As if the mere engagement weren't gross enough to his last family.

"Kate wants a baby. Since I'm getting no younger, we practice at least four times a night," he tells TV Guide about his fiancée, but with one minor caveat:

"We agreed that if she does get pregnant, one is enough."

Probably for the best, given how the last batch turned out.

Michael Lohan, who turns 50 this month, has four children with ex-wife Dina, including helpless, broke train wreck Lindsay Lohan and JV version Ali Lohan.

That's how many times we tried to conceive by noon!

Kate Major, who at 27 is just a few years older than Lindsay, had a short relationship with Michael Lohan’s friend, Jon Gosselin. Hey, anything's a step up.

The two got engaged Easter weekend after dating about half a year. A place and date have not been set, but they're looking at December on Long Island.

Two people Mike probably won't see there? His previous wife and his eldest daughter. “It’s certainly a marriage made in tabloid heaven,” Dina Lohan said.

“Kate dated Hailey Glassman’s ex, then is best friends with Michael’s ex [Erin Muller], now she’s engaged to Michael. It all sounds a bit incestuous to me.”

“Where he’s finding money for weddings, engagement rings, I don’t know. He’s nine months behind on child support... pay for the kids you already have.”

Lindsay Lohan was more succinct, though no less repulsed by the news.

"I'm gonna vomit!" she told Us. "I so didn't need that info... yuck!"

Michael Lohan and Kate Major, the former Star magazine reporter who made headlines last summer for quitting her job to date Jon Gosselin, are engaged!

No date has been set, but Kate 2.0 said, "I've already talked to some bridesmaids, and it will probably be in New York ... probably at the end of this year."

She brought Mike to meet her dad in Florida last weekend to get his approval.

Somehow he got it?!

"I'm very traditional," Kate Major says. "Michael went down with me for Easter, to meet my father to ask his permission, and my father gave his blessing."

Lindsay, meet your new stepmom. She's just four years old than you!

Already wearing an engagement ring, says of her man, "I'm ecstatic. I'm very happy. Michael and I have known each other for four years, and it's meant to be."

Michael Lohan echoed his future bride's sentiments: "I'm ecstatic. I have never met anyone who's been there for me like Kate. She's always been there for me."

"The one thing about Kate is that she doesn't come with baggage."

Well, sans the Jon Gosselin thing, but compared to that guy, Michael Lohan may actually look like a prize catch. He's only a terrible dad to four kids, not eight!

But seriously, we're happy for the couple and wish them the best. We still expect another unwarranted, pissed-off rant from Mike, but we wish them the best.

Just when you thought you'd heard everything, Michael Lohan and girlfriend Kate Major are moving from New York to Los Angeles together. There's more too:

• Kate Major and Michael Lohan are taking a bus to L.A.
• They're filming a reality show to document the journey!

Lohan says he is hoping to get some of his "celebrity" pals to join him and participate in different charity fundraisers (i.e. PR opportunities) along the way.

M-Lo explains: “We’re calling the show Crossing Borders because not only will we be crossing physical borders state to state, but moral borders as well." 

Deep.

Two people who definitely need their own show.

"While each celebrity offers something different, each city will bring something new and different. Each celebrity sees him/herself as a good person. Viewers will see that we all try our best, but sometimes cross the borders of right and wrong."

This guy ought to teach philosophy.

No word on when:

• Lindsay Lohan will file the paperwork seeking a preemptive restraining order in anticipation of her deadbeat dad moving to the same city.
• Kate Major will discuss Jon Gosselin's penis size.

We know this may come as a huge shock to you, but Jon Gosselin is apparently a "huge loser," according to an inside source with knowledge of the subject.

Kate Major, who sort of dated Jon last summer, is now dating Michael Lohan. This speaks volumes about her taste, but still, she says it's a step up from Jon.

“He seems to go for nice girls from nice families and, in my case, with good careers," said the ex-reporter for Star freaking magazine who quit to date him.

"I would love Jon to get into the boxing ring with [Michael Lohan] so he could get his butt kicked because, let’s face it, we all know he needs the money.”

Kate was referring to Mike's Celebrity Boxing pastime, of course, and also had some words of warning for Jon’s new girlfriend, 25-year-old Morgan Christie.

Kate Major has dated both these guys. Wow, Kate.

“I don’t know if she missed out on the last year, but I’d really like to warn her as well as her family to really look at the type of person that Jon is and look at what he did to his other ex’s,” Kate 2.0 said. “She should be careful and watch out.”

Or ransack his place with a butcher knife, right Hailey Glassman?

Jon and his newest rebound fling met during Thanksgiving while he was skiing in Utah. Morgan Christie reportedly comes from an affluent Connecticut family.

“It seems perfect this is the next beat for Jon. He has no job, no family other than his kids. He needs to take advantage of someone else now. Jon wouldn’t be with this girl unless she could offer him some kind of financial support.”

“All I know about [Morgan Christie] is that she met Jon while he was supposedly visiting his grandmother,” Kate said. “But he was probably just sitting around smoking weed with his buddies, and that’s when he met her.”

Good to know. Thanks Kate!

Just so everyone's clear on the progression of events here:

• Michael Lohan has a bro-mance with Jon Gosselin, who he offers to "rep" for appearances on The Insider, and secretly records all phone calls with.
• Michael plays matchmaker, introducing Jon to Kate Major, a reporter for Star.
• Kate quits her job to be with the newly-single Jon, who quickly dumps her.
• Michael and Kate both testify against Jon in TLC's lawsuit against him.
• Michael Lohan and Kate Major get matching tattoos and begin dating!

An inevitable couple made in fame whoring heaven.

If you're baffled as to how anyone could date Michael Lohan, we're with you. Although this girl quit her job to be with freaking Jon Gosselin. This is kind of a lateral move.

According to Radar Online, the two left no doubt they're a couple during an excursion on Long Island. You can read the article here if you're interested in the gory details.

We suggest you wear a cup, Kate. We're just saying.

Nothing Michael Lohan does comes without the obligatory "well, that's weird" or "what a d!ck" reactions. This would certainly fit into the former category.

While Jon Gosselin battles with one of his ex-girlfriends, Hailey Glassman, another former fling, Kate Major, seems to be getting pretty close to Michael.

Lindsay's dad and Jon's rebound piece have been hanging out recently, and the duo recently got similar tattoos to commemorate ... well, who knows.

"I got a tattoo for the new year. Kate liked it so she got one too. It was not a big deal," Lohan, out on bail after harassing ex-fiancee Erin Muller, said.

Michael Lohan and Kate Major with their mutual d-bag friend.

Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin were very friendly in mid-2009, and it was Mike who introduced her Kate Major, a former reporter for Star magazine.

While Michael denies being romantically involved with Kate, reports say they spent the holidays in Chicago and once even shared a hotel room in NYC.

That's one way to get back at Jon ... for what, we have absolutely no idea. But you know M-Lo doesn't do anything without a clear agenda in mind.

Dude wrote a fake-suicide Tweet. Just saying.

Jon Gosselin's attorney, Mark Heller, is berating Jon's so-called pals Michael Lohan and Kate Major for selling out the dumbass dad in depositions last week.

Of TLC's court case against Jon, Lohan stated that he felt "stabbed in back" by Gosselin for backing out of and then denying some potential business deals.

Contrarily, Heller says, Gosselin barely even knew Lohan (he even says as much in that leaked tape) and suggested Lohan was just using Jon for publicity:

"It's regrettable that Michael Lohan is publicly discussing his relationship with Jon. Jon doesn't want to dignify anything Mr. Lohan is addressing in the media."

"I think it's very clear that Jon did not enter into any arrangement with Mr. Lohan and has done nothing of a negative nature in his dealings with Mr. Lohan."

Jon Gosselin's mouthpiece summarily dissed Kate Major as well.

"Kate Major has basically used Jon Gosselin as her Obama stimulus package," he says. "Every time she runs low on funds, she comes up with another story."

That's a good one by Heller. Major says it ain't so, though, and maintains that Gosselin reneged on legally binding agreements for her to be his assistant.

A legally binding cocktail napkin? That'll hold up in court.

Lohan and Major are the only two people who have been deposed so far, with Jon's on-off-on-off-on-off ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman on tap later today.

This Thursday, Gosselin and TLC will be in court to hash out his breach of contract dispute. Heller says Gosselin "feels extremely optimistic" about the case.

That could be all talk, as Jon is on the hook for millions of dollars by reneging on an exclusivity clause in his  contract by trying to score deals on the side.

For his part, Jon claims TLC took advantage of him, forced him into veritable inventured servanthood and exploited his eight cute little kids for profit.

Jon Gosselin's rumored fling from this summer, Kate Major, has retained an attorney and is moving forward with plans to sue him for breach of contract.

Real original, Kate 2.0. Everybody's doing that!

“Kate called me and has retained my services regarding a possible breach of contract between herself and Jon Gosselin,” her attorney, Ben Pietra, said.

The attorney promises that “We are keeping our legal options open, but if a breach of contract has occurred, we will be moving forward with a lawsuit.”

Gosselin and Major entered into a secret handwritten agreement back in June, in which Kate agreed to work for Jon as his personal assistant, earning a percentage from his accounts and pledging not to talk to the media about their love.

That document (below) is likely to be the centerpiece of the new litigation against Jon, who is already facing a breach of contract lawsuit from big, bad TLC.

Kate, interestingly, has also been subpoenaed in that case.

"Kate 2.0 and Jon spent a weekend in a hotel where they drew up the contract,” a source, hilariously using her nickname, recently told Radar Online.

“Jon told her that he would match the salary she was making at [Star] magazine if she came to work for him as his personal employee immediately.”

“Jon drafted the agreement and they both signed it.”

Soon after, though, he washed his hands of her completely, denying they were ever involved romantically and running back to now-ex Hailey Glassman.

Kate Major wants payback for time wasted on Jon.

Ostensibly, her motives for the lawsuit are financial (she did quit her job), but come on, he tapped that ass and ditched her. You know it's also personal.

This is the "contract" Kate Major is suing Jon Gosselin over. 2.0 also plans to sue for fraud and loss of wages. He also faces charges of being a Grade A Douche.

Former Star Magazine reporter Kate Major, who was hilariously insistent that she dated Jon Gosselin earlier this year, and also hilariously quit her job to avoid a conflict of interest (as if Star has any ethics), is back in the news once more.

She's the latest person to get served with a subpoena in TLC's pending case against the famous reality dad, who the network is accusing of breach of contract.

Jon's loser BFF Michael Lohan and his ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman have also been subpoenaed by the court, which granted requests to do so by TLC lawyers.

They will all give depositions scheduled for December 10.

Jon with Kate Major, a.k.a. Kate 2.0, during their "relationship."

Kate Major hooked up with Jon over the summer when she met him for an interview, following the d-bag's scandalous separation from banshee wife Kate.

Jon denied having a relationship with her, then said he did, then accused her of using him ... dude is a huge liar, basically. We'll see what he says in court.

In short, the network is going balls-out against Jon, who halted production on Jon and Kate Plus 8 this fall when he pretended to care about his eight kids.