by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Atlanta had their final Reunion show last night. No, seriously. This is it. Thank goodness because I think three is really our limit.

There's only so much screeching we can take (see part one and part two) but let's break it all down one last time in our patented THG +/- review!

Poor Andy Cohen can barely keep this crew under control but Plus 10 for doing his best to keep them on track.

Marlo's back. Minus 20. A little Marlo goes a long way and she and Kandi really go at it. 

Bitch Please

I don't know what Marlo's problem is with Kandi. Is it that she's a successful woman who didn't have to lie on her back to make her fortune?  Could be.

But the part that surprises me is that Kandi lets Marlo get under her skin. Minus 10 for getting sucked into the Marlo vortex. Kandi has no reason to defend herself. Marlo's comments about Kandi's boyfriend are simply classless, much like Marlo herself.

And it's kind of scary when all of the screaming makes NeNe look like the quiet one.

Marlo says she makes her money off the haters. Huh? Even Andy calls her on that one. Minus 5. It doesn't seem to make much sense.

Speaking of NeNe, she's right about one thing. When you're dating a married man, you are a mistress. Sorry Kim. 

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Growth is a beautiful thing. Of course it can also be hard to find.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion, Part 1, offered up a lot of talk about growth but what we saw was merely a an hour's worth of screeching, eye rolling, and one upmanship Atlanta style so we'll break it down in THG's +/- review ...

Andy starts off asking why the ladies love to talk about there designer labels.

It's true, these women are always going on and on about who they're wearing and what they're buying. They may think it makes them appear wealthy, but they only look like a bunch of insecure wannabes. Minus 12.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast Picture

Somehow all roads led back to NeNe tonight. If she wasn't defending herself or yelling at someone she was rolling her eyes while the others were talking.

And she was wearing the most ridiculous looking heels of the group. Minus 5. How the heck does she walk in those things.

First we'll start off with Kandi whose sex toy line, Bedroom Kandi is making her a mint of money. Plus 8. You go girl! Phaedra says she's helping make sure the products work well but NeNe simply looks uncomfortable. Kandi calls her out on it. Didn't NeNe used to be a stripper. Maybe so but sex toys are not her thing. 

NeNe says she's grown and she ain't got time for these ladies. Well, she isn't threatening to kill anyone this season so I suppose we can count that as growth. Plus 9.

So once we break away from Kandi's cleavage (seriously, she must be glued into that dress), we move over to Kim… and more cleavage.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Last night saw The Real Housewives of Atlanta griping, grousing, and falling asleep in their seats. Let's break down the drama, or lack thereof, in our THG's +/- recap!

Before we get to the event the ladies wished they'd brought their pillows to, let's start from the beginning. Kim and Cyndi meet for lunch to hash out this Africa mess.

Minus 15. I had hoped that last week's confrontation in the parking lot would have put the South Africa debacle to bed forever. No such luck.

Lunch is ... awkward.

ZZZZZZZZ

Cyndi feels that they've never really been friends and don't know one another and since Kim seems to say whatever she wants, why can't Cynthia. Kim thinks that Cynthia is totally under NeNe's thumb.

So how did we get from that to hugging? I'm still not sure. Kim's a little afraid that Cynthia's going to whip out a friendship contract. Plus 5 because I can just picture it and that would have been funny. 

The ladies agree to double date with their husbands but Kim admits she doesn't mean a word of it and I can't believe that Cynthia does either. These two couples would have so much to talk about…NOT!

Meanwhile, NeNe's in LA rubbing elbows with the stars. "I could possibly be a Hollywood actress," she beams. Minus 8. NeNe works as a reality star but what kind of actress would she make? I don't really want to think about it. 

But apparently NeNe's thought a lot about it. She's aiming for an Oscar. Aren't we all? I'll give her a Plus 10 for all of that confidence. Talent? Well, that's another story.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Atlanta gave us a homecoming, a coronation, and an almost engagement but it still wasn't enough to put South Africa behind them.

Don't miss the details as we dish it all in THG's +/- recap!

Daddy's home! Or at least that's what Kim and the girls call out as Kroy finally comes back from training camp and Plus 15 because damn, it is sweet.

They really have missed him.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast

Of course don't we all feel sorry for Kim. She had to survive a month on her own. Well, her and her nanny, her cleaning staff, her stylist, the interior designer, her assistant, and, the newest of all, her personal chef. Minus 8.

No wonder she has the time to whine.

Wait, did I say assistant? Not any more. Sweetie is gone! Plus 10 because I never thought Kim would actually step up and fire her. Sweetie's a fool.

Where else will she find a job where she spends half of her time lounging by the pool? But she got lazy and once she started cursing at the kids it was time to go.

We barely saw Kandi or NeNe this hour. They spent a little time with their kids but it's barely worth mentioning. And we saw nothing of Marlo so Plus 12 for that alone.

Sheree and soon to be son-in-law Damon head out to shop for rings. Or maybe not. Well, they do shop for rings but Damon won't give his price range.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Atlanta come back this week as we all recover from that fiasco of an anniversary party and move on to a birthday, an engagement, and a divorce.

Things happen fast in Atlanta. To keep up, here's THG official +/- review!

The anniversary party is over. That's the good news. Plus 8. Of course Peter lauds it as a great success. Idiot. Minus 10. That his wife was miserable seems to fly right past him.

Much as Mal badmouths Peter and she did make a scene, Peter basically made fun of her in public when he made his toast at the party. She had a right to be pissed but Peter and Cynthia don't seem to remember any of that. Minus 9.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast

Mal does come over and offer an apology to Cynthia who isn't very gracious. She doesn't seem to recognize that her husband is as much of a hater as Mal.

Maybe it's good that Mal's headed to Paris.  Hopefully Cynthia will see her husband for what he is without the distractions. Plus 7.

Kim and Kandi get together as Kim laments how stressful the move has been. Yes, moving is stressful but most of us don't have an entire entourage to help us get it done. Minus 8 and stop the whining already.

Without the silly yelling these two manage to put this orphanage nonsense behind them and it's about time. If I never have to see that clip again it will still be too soon. Plus 5.

Of course that doesn't stop Kandi from basically saying the entire incident was Cynthia's fault. Oye. Some things never change.

NeNe's lawyers call her in to tell her that all the paperwork for her divorce is ready. All she has to do is sign. It's time to make a decision. 

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Having returned from the motherland to haterville, The Real Housewives of Atlanta headed to a party this week, but instead of encountering a good time there, our fair ladies found only tears, feuding, and boredom. So it goes.

Come along as we recap it all, THG +/- style!

That NeNe Look

You can't kill 'em if they're already dead.

That's Phaedra's take away from her embalming training. Plus 15 for her overall excitement about diving into the more gruesome aspects of the job but I was relieved that we only had to watch her work on a dummy.

Seeing her learn on a person would have been a little creepy.

But Phaedra's enthusiasm makes the funeral arts look fun. She can't wait to get in there and make the dead look pretty with a hair and makeup makeover. Plus another 5 because I'm actually beginning to think she can pull this off.

Across town, Kim's trying to get the new house in order before Kroy comes home from training camp but it isn't going so well. Her dad keeps trying to throw things away. Minus 7. I hate that but I will agree that Kim's got way too much stuff but that's her decision not his.

Her bigger issue is Sweetie. Sweetie's always been a slacker but it's gotten worse and now she's complaining about being asked to do too much. Minus 20.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Atlanta spent 10 days in South Africa, but did anything really change besides Cynthia's hairdos? We recap the homecoming in THG's +/- review.

First we have to leave South Africa which may take longer than you'd think given the amount of shoes that Marlo has to pack. Oh, but she has help. Some poor resort worker comes in so that Marlo can lounge on her bed and explain how each shoe must be packed in it's own separate little bag so that they don't rub together in flight.

Seriously? Minus 10.

Headin' Back to ATL

Then "Blue Eyes" as NeNe calls their personal helper must run across to help NeNe close up her suitcases. There are several but at least NeNe packed them herself so Plus 5.

I want to believe Blue Eyes got a decent tip for this nonsense but somehow I doubt it.

When the ladies finally leave, there is singing and dancing. Yes, it's supposed to be some sort of ceremonial custom but honestly, can you imagine how relieved the staff must be to see these high maintenance, bossy women finally leave?   

Somehow Phaedra seems to think that all of their positive experiences at the orphanage will have this crew headed back to the States as better women. Ha! Minus 8. I didn't know they made rose colored glasses that strong.

Back home Cynthia brings back presents from South Africa for Noelle but nothing for Peter. Apparently she didn't speak to them much while she was gone. Minus 10. She was away from her husband and daughter for 10 days. You'd think she'd keep in touch.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Atlanta continued their African adventure Sunday night, but can the crew hold on to their newfound peace? Don't bet on it.

We recap it all as the insults fly with our THG +/- review!

Back from the orphanage, everyone's talking about how much they have and how it felt to witness people so appreciative for towels and soap. For the first time the women seem to find something worthwhile to bond over. Plus 15

Housewives Bus Tour

Well, all but Marlo. She's bitching about the shrimp in her salad. Minus 10. Apparently the trip to the orphanage affected some of the ladies more than others.

Has anyone else noticed that Cynthia's hair is gorgeous this entire trip? Plus 8. I think it's really stunning.

Phaedra invites the ladies to a museum to experience the local Xhosa culture. She says when you know better you do better. We'll agree with the sentiment. Plus 7.

Unfortunately, the sentiment and the reality are two different things. The Xhosa culture couldn't be more sexist. All a man has to do is find a lady he likes on the street, tell a family member to fetch her for his wife.

The woman involved has no choice in the matter. Minus 10. That's just scary.

Of course not everyone need worry. For instance, Sheree is too old. Yes, according to the herbalist/medicine man/witch doctor or whatever the hell he is, his reading of the "bones" tells him Sheree will never marry again because she is too old.

Plus 12 because we can't stop laughing.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Picking up where we left off two weeks ago, The Real Housewives of Atlanta are still in Africa attempting to make peace, not war. Yeah, good luck with that.

We recap the brawling, bickering and stupid fashion in THG's +/- review.

So NeNe plays peacemaker. Who would have guessed that?

Plus 12 because she does take a moment of introspection to realize how stupid she must look when she's in the middle of one of these ridiculous brawls.

Nene: Peace Maker

When Marlo and Sheree are finally off to their separate corners the night continues. Sheree, Phaedra, and Kandi are off to their private party.

Sheree's friend Kevin is a charming host who likes flaming entertainment. Literally, I thought the fire wielding dancers were going to set the back yard on fire. Minus 5 because those sparks got a little wild. I hope the house is insured.

Then Kevin introduces Kandi to his friend Vince and encourages him to ask Kandi questions about sex since she has an adult themed talk show.

Kandi looks like she'd like to crawl under the table.

Vince claims he's an actor / producer and everyone assumes Kandi and Vince might hook up tonight. Well, that is until Kandi starts asking questions.

What has he produced? He self produces and he's a natural actor which means he's never done it for money. What does he do for money? He's a bartender. Minus 10. The wannabes can find Kandi on any continent.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

After an episode of packing last week, The Real Housewives of Atlanta officially arrived in Cape Town, South Africa on Sunday and the country will never be the same.

We relive the etiquette lessons and unbelievable screeching in THG's +/- recap!

With Kroy off at training camp, Kim stays home with the new baby and we barely see her except for a family dinner with her parents. Have I mentioned I find her parents kind of creepy? Her mom says very little and her dad says far too much.

Add to it that they can't wait for Kim to finish feeding the baby to sit down to eat. Now that's just rude. Minus 9.

In South Africa

Back at the airport, our trip to Africa which starts off quietly enough. The ladies take a 16-hour flight where they remove their makeup and have some wine. Cynthia even laughs when NeNe removes an eyebrow and NeNe doesn't seem to mind.

Or at least she didn't hurt her. Plus 8 for a good beginning.

NeNe says the group is divided between the tall women (over 5'9") and the almost midgets. It seems like an exaggeration until you witness Phaedra and Kandi standing next to Cynthia and NeNe and realize she's almost not kidding. Plus 5.

How much luggage do these women need for a 10-day trip? Watching them haul it through the airport is just ridiculous. They can't even manage an elevator without help. And we wonder why other countries think Americans are dumb. Minus 10.

Continue Reading...

× Close Ad