The only thing happy these days about the troubled Britney Spears would be the Happy Meals she's picking up from McDonalds (below, left).
But will the walking train wreck try to right her own quickly-sinking ship by rekindling her love for an old flame?
Sources say Britney has been trying to phone her pre-FedEx ex, who goes by the name of Justin Timberlake. But he ain't callin' back.
Justin is reportedly not high on the idea of running it back with Britney. You know who else isn't? Cameron Diaz. When she got wind of the calls, she didn't like it one bit - and has even gone so far as to try to get through to Britney's reps to ask her to stop calling JT.
Too bad Brit's manager, Larry Rudolph, doesn't do anything.
One can't blame Cameron for being a little put out, but you don't see her phoning Jessica Biel now, do you? Or maybe you do. We don't want to jump to conclusions here.
Over the weekend, the paparazzi caught Britney engaged in a few of her favorite pastimes. No, not barfing on Isaac Cohen - carrying several small objects and killing herself slowly but surely with the substances she ingests.
The mother of two with the enormous breasts and trouble staying sober was seen going into a recording studio with Marlboro lights, Red Bull and McDonald's grub - a combination that will be known heretofore as the WTBOC (white trash breakfast of champions).
Later, she was spotted carrying some other small items - namely her baby sons Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline! Check out the Jayden James pictures we were able to find! They're not grainy at all!